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TearyHarpy

Harpy Cries at Dinosaurs Again (And CW is here)

TearyHarpy
Nov 24th, 2018
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  1. DurianDinosaur: in space
  2.  
  3. DurianDinosaur: nobody can hear you scream
  4.  
  5. DurianDinosaur: about dinosaurs
  6.  
  7. DurianDinosaur: figured that its a lazy as fuck day and i'm too lazy to stare at a screen and press buttons so instead i'll stare at a screen and watch people die to dinosaurs
  8.  
  9. DurianDinosaur: was about to watch when i made the mistake of leaving my door open and my sister just struts in
  10.  
  11. DurianDinosaur: she's out now but she was in to try to convince me to make more coffee
  12.  
  13. DurianDinosaur: and i'm like
  14.  
  15. DurianDinosaur: "nah?"
  16.  
  17. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/b27b0fc42ab086509353066b63826928
  18.  
  19. DurianDinosaur: no!
  20.  
  21. DurianDinosaur: where will i get my snark now?
  22.  
  23. DurianDinosaur: no wonder this movie is controversial!!!!
  24.  
  25. DurianDinosaur: *sheds a single tear*
  26.  
  27. DurianDinosaur: >its actually the length of your typical godzilla movie
  28.  
  29. DurianDinosaur: holy shit!
  30.  
  31. DurianDinosaur: i'll still extend the watchtime because I am a dumbass who has to talk
  32.  
  33. DurianDinosaur: DEJA VU
  34.  
  35. DurianDinosaur: I HAVE BEEN ON THIS ISLAND BEFORE!
  36.  
  37. DurianDinosaur: harpy immediately dies for her sins of abusing this meme
  38.  
  39. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/995f748aa573b24da3a92c3334890409 THANKS AMAZONAPEDIA
  40.  
  41. DurianDinosaur: >enrique
  42.  
  43. DurianDinosaur: YOU BITCH YOU LEFT YOUR GAL HANGIN IN THE LAST MOVIE
  44.  
  45. DurianDinosaur: i don't think
  46.  
  47. DurianDinosaur: doing that
  48.  
  49. DurianDinosaur: around a dinosaur island is a good idea
  50.  
  51. DurianDinosaur: what in the sweet fuck
  52.  
  53. DurianDinosaur: legit question: is that kid a dude
  54.  
  55. DurianDinosaur: or a chick
  56.  
  57. DurianDinosaur: muh brain
  58.  
  59. DurianDinosaur: thats a dude
  60.  
  61. DurianDinosaur: OH NO THE FOG GOT 'EM
  62.  
  63. DurianDinosaur: FOGPLOT 2019 CONFIRMED
  64.  
  65. DurianDinosaur: WE KATTELOX ISLAND NOW FOLKS
  66.  
  67. DurianDinosaur: NO THE FUCK IT IS NOT, SIR
  68.  
  69. DurianDinosaur: >alan has kids
  70.  
  71. DurianDinosaur: >he legit has kids
  72.  
  73. DurianDinosaur: i'm about to cry, this is the resolution i needed
  74.  
  75. DurianDinosaur: "charlie those are herbivores"
  76.  
  77. DurianDinosaur: FUCK THAT LET THEM FIGHT
  78.  
  79. DurianDinosaur: also: lil goopy spotted [s]goopy will murder me for this joke later[/s]
  80.  
  81. DurianDinosaur: "alan he's three, wait til he's five"
  82.  
  83. DurianDinosaur: it is never too early to hear about dinosaurs ripping each other's throats out
  84.  
  85. DurianDinosaur: >not actually the dad
  86.  
  87. DurianDinosaur: oh
  88.  
  89. DurianDinosaur: good, he works better as the dinosaur uncle that isn't really your uncle! :D
  90.  
  91. DurianDinosaur: "thats the dinosaur man"
  92.  
  93. DurianDinosaur: my heart
  94.  
  95. DurianDinosaur: it can't take this
  96.  
  97. DurianDinosaur: >that pot of coffee
  98.  
  99. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/ef598944cb65107808135fd54274ffc9
  100.  
  101. DurianDinosaur: this is
  102.  
  103. DurianDinosaur: relavent to my interests- *ignores fact she JUST DRANK COFFEE*
  104.  
  105. DurianDinosaur: why would you talk about raptors like that about 4~ years after the fact
  106.  
  107. DurianDinosaur: ellie does not live for this
  108.  
  109. DurianDinosaur: she's probably screaming internally about it
  110.  
  111. DurianDinosaur: oh no he's going extinct
  112.  
  113. DurianDinosaur: "any questions"
  114.  
  115. DurianDinosaur: *HANDS*
  116.  
  117. DurianDinosaur: "that don't relate to jurassic park or that incident in san diego"
  118.  
  119. DurianDinosaur: *sadly puts hands down*
  120.  
  121. DurianDinosaur: "isn't all this conjecture moot"
  122.  
  123. DurianDinosaur: son
  124.  
  125. DurianDinosaur: sit down
  126.  
  127. DurianDinosaur: you look like a douche
  128.  
  129. DurianDinosaur: "no force on earth or heaven could get me on that island"
  130.  
  131. DurianDinosaur: *looks at plot synopsis*
  132.  
  133. DurianDinosaur: good thing we have things called contrivances, eh? ;D
  134.  
  135. DurianDinosaur: nice graffiti there bud
  136.  
  137. DurianDinosaur: they
  138.  
  139. DurianDinosaur: wanna kill dinos
  140.  
  141. DurianDinosaur: okay then
  142.  
  143. DurianDinosaur: and now we interrupt you at date night at the fossil site
  144.  
  145. DurianDinosaur: where a boyfriend teaches his girlfriend about excavating and telling the difference between rock and bone
  146.  
  147. DurianDinosaur: in a non condescending way
  148.  
  149. DurianDinosaur: i feel like this might be the purest scene in the movie
  150.  
  151. DurianDinosaur: 3D PRINTING PREDICTED BY DINO NERDS, PASS IT ON
  152.  
  153. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/b3093f531adf3f311f9d14370a334a12 okay so its a 3D printer's grandaddy, good to know
  154.  
  155. DurianDinosaur: >that feel when your intern takes up the dinner offer you were refusing
  156.  
  157. DurianDinosaur: welp
  158.  
  159. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/66b5d0951071136a61e97c4643bf2a02
  160.  
  161. DurianDinosaur: ITS SO BLURRY SO YOU CAN'T TELL WHAT IT IS BUT HOLY SHIT
  162.  
  163. DurianDinosaur: "we even have seats reserved to the first commercial flight to the moon!"
  164.  
  165. DurianDinosaur: haha
  166.  
  167. DurianDinosaur: ha
  168.  
  169. DurianDinosaur: have fun...
  170.  
  171. DurianDinosaur: "hey could you be our tour guide to isla sorna
  172.  
  173. DurianDinosaur: this is the stupidest idea for a wedding anniversary adventure thing
  174.  
  175. DurianDinosaur: the absolute dumbest
  176.  
  177. DurianDinosaur: how do people keep thinking going to these islands is a good idea
  178.  
  179. DurianDinosaur: D:
  180.  
  181. DurianDinosaur: then again my idea of a good time is going to malls, playing vidya, making dumb jokes, and card games. also, sleeping.
  182.  
  183. DurianDinosaur: and cuddling.
  184.  
  185. DurianDinosaur: cuddling is intense.
  186.  
  187. DurianDinosaur: i am really a boring person to anyone who doesnt care for that :U
  188.  
  189. DurianDinosaur: so rich people doing rich people things
  190.  
  191. DurianDinosaur: wow okay then, i can believe it
  192.  
  193. DurianDinosaur: they buy five million yachts like its a collectable or something
  194.  
  195. DurianDinosaur: meanwhile here i am collecting Unicornos and Mermaidicorns because "h uighgfkljgl THEY CUTE"
  196.  
  197. DurianDinosaur: >bribery
  198.  
  199. DurianDinosaur: i hate this
  200.  
  201. DurianDinosaur: got me more tense than dinosaur murders
  202.  
  203. DurianDinosaur: leave grant alone you fucks
  204.  
  205. DurianDinosaur: *sobs all ugly like like she's defending britney*
  206.  
  207. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/d142d2a0482fbd5838d514b2da4114d1 tfw you hate this idea but... dinos.
  208.  
  209. DurianDinosaur: "this is my lucky bag"
  210.  
  211. DurianDinosaur: that bag's doing to be a victim
  212.  
  213. DurianDinosaur: if it survives...
  214.  
  215. DurianDinosaur: ...i have no idea what i'll do but it sure will be special
  216.  
  217. DurianDinosaur: "reverse dawrinism: survival of the most idiotic"
  218.  
  219. DurianDinosaur: damn
  220.  
  221. DurianDinosaur: >suddenly my apprentice is a dinosaur
  222.  
  223. DurianDinosaur: "AHGKSLJ"
  224.  
  225. DurianDinosaur: accurate
  226.  
  227. DurianDinosaur: although my reaction would not be to freak out as is appropriate
  228.  
  229. DurianDinosaur: but be "wow you're an animorph now!"
  230.  
  231. DurianDinosaur: i have a feeling
  232.  
  233. DurianDinosaur: we don't actually have the rights to be here
  234.  
  235. DurianDinosaur: >land on the island
  236.  
  237. DurianDinosaur: RICH PEOPLE DOING RICH PEOPLE THINGS
  238.  
  239. DurianDinosaur: oh god alan got conked
  240.  
  241. DurianDinosaur: "what was that"
  242.  
  243. DurianDinosaur: oh boy you got dropped on dino fuckign island and YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK
  244.  
  245. DurianDinosaur: i'm so salty.
  246.  
  247. DurianDinosaur: "thats a tyrannosaurus"
  248.  
  249. DurianDinosaur: WE WILL NEVER STOP ABUSING OUR T-REX RIGHTS EVEN WHEN THERE MIGHT BE COOLER SPECIMENS TO USE
  250.  
  251. DurianDinosaur: and you know what?
  252.  
  253. DurianDinosaur: more power to you
  254.  
  255. DurianDinosaur: "nah it sounds bigger"
  256.  
  257. DurianDinosaur: i
  258.  
  259. DurianDinosaur: spoke too soon
  260.  
  261. DurianDinosaur: oh my god
  262.  
  263. DurianDinosaur: i thought he was going to get run over but its worse
  264.  
  265. DurianDinosaur: or better
  266.  
  267. DurianDinosaur: spiny boi located
  268.  
  269. DurianDinosaur: shit i'm shedding a tear
  270.  
  271. DurianDinosaur: YOU'RE NOT WORTH MY TEARS, COOEPR
  272.  
  273. DurianDinosaur: you're not even SLY!
  274.  
  275. DurianDinosaur: alan is within his legal rights to get PTSD on this fucking island and yet he doesn't because
  276.  
  277. DurianDinosaur: someone has to be sane
  278.  
  279. DurianDinosaur: this man.
  280.  
  281. DurianDinosaur: see this is why when I plan vacations
  282.  
  283. DurianDinosaur: i go to places like
  284.  
  285. DurianDinosaur: denny's
  286.  
  287. DurianDinosaur: ivel's house
  288.  
  289. DurianDinosaur: cons
  290.  
  291. DurianDinosaur: please make sure the black dude lives, he seems cool
  292.  
  293. DurianDinosaur: (he won't, will he?)
  294.  
  295. DurianDinosaur: >heights
  296.  
  297. DurianDinosaur: *PANIC*
  298.  
  299. DurianDinosaur: and he doesn't, god damn it
  300.  
  301. DurianDinosaur: ohai spiny
  302.  
  303. DurianDinosaur: what lovely teeth you have
  304.  
  305. DurianDinosaur: god that scene was
  306.  
  307. DurianDinosaur: brutal
  308.  
  309. DurianDinosaur: is that why everyone wants to buy this fuckin dino toy?
  310.  
  311. DurianDinosaur: "I WANT TO GET IT SO I CAN WATCH IT RIP UP A CHEAP TOY PLANE WITH PLASTIC PEOPLE IN IT"
  312.  
  313. DurianDinosaur: "GET THE REAL EXPERIENCE"
  314.  
  315. DurianDinosaur: "i think we lost him"
  316.  
  317. DurianDinosaur: >dead dino, t-rex feasting on it
  318.  
  319. DurianDinosaur: "UM"
  320.  
  321. DurianDinosaur: kek
  322.  
  323. DurianDinosaur: OH SHIT THE KAIJU FIGHTS ARE NOW?!?!?
  324.  
  325. DurianDinosaur: FUCK
  326.  
  327. DurianDinosaur: HELL YEAH BITCHES FITE
  328.  
  329. DurianDinosaur: >the fuckin CRACK
  330.  
  331. DurianDinosaur: oh
  332.  
  333. DurianDinosaur: oh my god the rex is dead
  334.  
  335. DurianDinosaur: fuckign brutal
  336.  
  337. DurianDinosaur: THAT deserved some tears
  338.  
  339. DurianDinosaur: i did get watery-eyed there
  340.  
  341. DurianDinosaur: i also screamed because
  342.  
  343. DurianDinosaur: >hid the fact that it was his son that was missing and THATS why they did this
  344.  
  345. DurianDinosaur: THATS FUCKING SOMETHING YOU SAY UPFRONT YOU DICKWEED
  346.  
  347. DurianDinosaur: >i've never been here before
  348.  
  349. DurianDinosaur: are you su-
  350.  
  351. DurianDinosaur: >no thats isle neblar this is site b
  352.  
  353. DurianDinosaur: h
  354.  
  355. DurianDinosaur: how did i forget so fast
  356.  
  357. DurianDinosaur: man, that's cold of alan
  358.  
  359. DurianDinosaur: but he's got a point
  360.  
  361. DurianDinosaur: he hasn't been on this island so he doesn't know the geography as well as the other
  362.  
  363. DurianDinosaur: these guys lied to him from the get go
  364.  
  365. DurianDinosaur: and there's a spinosaurous loose, so the chances of the son even being alive is
  366.  
  367. DurianDinosaur: admitedly slim
  368.  
  369. DurianDinosaur: >the spinos aren't on ingen's list
  370.  
  371. DurianDinosaur: wow got distracted by a million things
  372.  
  373. DurianDinosaur: but you know
  374.  
  375. DurianDinosaur: there's a lot more dino skeletons in their closet than anyone can recall..
  376.  
  377. DurianDinosaur: spinos confirmed for 2019
  378.  
  379. DurianDinosaur: >not even getting paid
  380.  
  381. DurianDinosaur: false bribery is the fucking worst
  382.  
  383. DurianDinosaur: how the fuck do you get up in the morning and decide
  384.  
  385. DurianDinosaur: "i'm going to act better than brad pitt and lie to a palentologists face about being rich and having connections and even have a fancy checkbook to go with and actually write 5 dollars on the check"
  386.  
  387. DurianDinosaur: how do you do that
  388.  
  389. DurianDinosaur: how
  390.  
  391. DurianDinosaur: "maybe we should split up-"
  392.  
  393. DurianDinosaur: cursed
  394.  
  395. DurianDinosaur: very fucking cursed line
  396.  
  397. DurianDinosaur: no matter what kind of movie you're in
  398.  
  399. DurianDinosaur: YOU DONT SAY THAT
  400.  
  401. DurianDinosaur: >husband and wife bickering
  402.  
  403. DurianDinosaur: *sigh*
  404.  
  405. DurianDinosaur: "what good is hiring an expert if we're not gonna use his advice" "HE'S NOT EVEN LOOKING FOR ERIC"
  406.  
  407. DurianDinosaur: why would he, eric's safe in canada- oh wait wrong eric
  408.  
  409. Cornwind Evil joined the chat 8 minutes ago
  410.  
  411. Cornwind Evil: Speak of the devil and he shall appear
  412.  
  413. DurianDinosaur: oh god
  414.  
  415. DurianDinosaur: SHE SCREAMED AND HE HEARD FROM THEO THER SIDE
  416.  
  417. DurianDinosaur: NOT EVEN THE FOURTH WALLS ARE SAFE
  418.  
  419. DurianDinosaur: "tricycloplots"
  420.  
  421. DurianDinosaur: i'm in physical pain
  422.  
  423. DurianDinosaur: sounds like an RP plot to me
  424.  
  425. DurianDinosaur: >the nevermind thing
  426.  
  427. DurianDinosaur: oh hey that's
  428.  
  429. DurianDinosaur: a bad sign
  430.  
  431. DurianDinosaur: please just get along because if you don't the spino is going to solve this relationship forcibly
  432.  
  433. DurianDinosaur: with his mouth
  434.  
  435. DurianDinosaur: he'll save you from all those divorce proceedings!
  436.  
  437. DurianDinosaur: oh man are we about to see some footage
  438.  
  439. DurianDinosaur: >the battery's dead
  440.  
  441. DurianDinosaur: fack
  442.  
  443. DurianDinosaur: >oh that happen
  444.  
  445. DurianDinosaur: >OH A SKELLY
  446.  
  447. DurianDinosaur: the intense freakout
  448.  
  449. DurianDinosaur: this just made me realize
  450.  
  451. DurianDinosaur: we had two scared yet pretty competent ladies the last two movies
  452.  
  453. DurianDinosaur: and now we have ordinary "I SCREAM INTO FOREVER" lady
  454.  
  455. DurianDinosaur: i kinda miss sarah and ellie now.
  456.  
  457. DurianDinosaur: >Fucking runs deeper into the island
  458.  
  459. DurianDinosaur: my god
  460.  
  461. DurianDinosaur: does being scared make you stupid.
  462.  
  463. DurianDinosaur: what the fuck are all those red strings anyway because that sure as fuck aint muscle tissue
  464.  
  465. DurianDinosaur: also RIP adult
  466.  
  467. Cornwind Evil: Yes.
  468.  
  469. Cornwind Evil: Fear utterly annihilates your logical thinking
  470.  
  471. DurianDinosaur: I would know!
  472.  
  473. DurianDinosaur: also aw a touching moment and-
  474.  
  475. DurianDinosaur: what did you find
  476.  
  477. Cornwind Evil: The only way to really handle it is 1) Get experienced with such things and don't die/get crippled/go insane, 2) Be trained against it, and even then that might not work when the actual event comes around, or 3) Be a sociopath
  478.  
  479. DurianDinosaur: or 4. be a robot
  480.  
  481. DurianDinosaur: anyway, hi is dino egg
  482.  
  483. DurianDinosaur: SO MUCH EGG
  484.  
  485. DurianDinosaur: "raptor."
  486.  
  487. DurianDinosaur: well we're screwed aren't we
  488.  
  489. DurianDinosaur: DEJA VU
  490.  
  491. DurianDinosaur: I HAVE BEEN IN THIS COMPOUND BEFORE
  492.  
  493. DurianDinosaur: actually fuck none of them have been in here.
  494.  
  495. DurianDinosaur: :I
  496.  
  497. DurianDinosaur: that's where the raptor nearly ate ian...
  498.  
  499. DurianDinosaur: ifuckingsawthat
  500.  
  501. DurianDinosaur: RAPTOR BOOGALOO RIDES AGAIN
  502.  
  503. DurianDinosaur: a
  504.  
  505. DurianDinosaur: why arey ou trying to get shit out of an old abandoned vending machine
  506.  
  507. DurianDinosaur: that's so cursed
  508.  
  509. DurianDinosaur: this is beyond cursed
  510.  
  511. DurianDinosaur: this is the true controversy behind the movie
  512.  
  513. DurianDinosaur: >BILLY SMASHES GLASS WITH FOOD AND JUST TAKES THE CHIPS
  514.  
  515. DurianDinosaur: i
  516.  
  517. DurianDinosaur: nevermind, controversy averted
  518.  
  519. DurianDinosaur: in dino land, nobody can see you steal chips
  520.  
  521. DurianDinosaur: the way he just laves without a word
  522.  
  523. DurianDinosaur: i can't
  524.  
  525. DurianDinosaur: i hope he got some skittles too
  526.  
  527. DurianDinosaur: its an older movie, skittles would still have lime flavor
  528.  
  529. DurianDinosaur: "Is this how you make dinosaurs?"
  530.  
  531. DurianDinosaur: "No. this is how you play god."
  532.  
  533. DurianDinosaur: channeling your inner ian there, bud? because that's a raw line right there
  534.  
  535. DurianDinosaur: it moved
  536.  
  537. DurianDinosaur: IT MOVHJEKJHSLFHGJKFSDL IUTS ALIVE
  538.  
  539. DurianDinosaur: raptor looks up
  540.  
  541. DurianDinosaur: "maybe i could jump."
  542.  
  543. DurianDinosaur: oh god.
  544.  
  545. DurianDinosaur: or climb, that works too unless you get trapped.
  546.  
  547. DurianDinosaur: "he's calling for help"
  548.  
  549. DurianDinosaur: ITS TIME FOR THE BOOGALOOOO
  550.  
  551. DurianDinosaur: aaand he died, too
  552.  
  553. DurianDinosaur: BILLEH!
  554.  
  555. DurianDinosaur: >they set a trap
  556.  
  557. DurianDinosaur: oh my fucking god
  558.  
  559. DurianDinosaur: THESE RAPTORS ARE SMARTER THAN THE OTHERS
  560.  
  561. DurianDinosaur: OH SHIT
  562.  
  563. DurianDinosaur: sl..sleeping gas?
  564.  
  565. DurianDinosaur: oh
  566.  
  567. DurianDinosaur: oh my god
  568.  
  569. DurianDinosaur: is the most competent person on this trip
  570.  
  571. DurianDinosaur: actually
  572.  
  573. DurianDinosaur: THE FUCKING KID WHO SURVIVED 8 WEEKS IN DINOSUAR HELL?!?!
  574.  
  575. DurianDinosaur: i'm so fucking proud
  576.  
  577. DurianDinosaur: and thats the third time i cried, damn
  578.  
  579. DurianDinosaur: "BUT DATS UNREALISTIC" they may claim
  580.  
  581. DurianDinosaur: bitch shut up and enjoy this because this boy has gone full monster hunter
  582.  
  583. DurianDinosaur: anyone who says this isn't cool as fuck can suck my nonexistent nuts
  584.  
  585. DurianDinosaur: >chips ahoy
  586.  
  587. DurianDinosaur: >ITS NOT THE CHEWY KIND
  588.  
  589. DurianDinosaur: ...i like you just a little bit less
  590.  
  591. DurianDinosaur: just an eensy bit
  592.  
  593. Cornwind Evil: I'd buy a kid potentially surviving for eight weeks on a dinosaur infested island moreso than gym-kicking a raptor out a window.
  594.  
  595. Cornwind Evil: Plays more to our strengths as homo sapiens sapiens
  596.  
  597. DurianDinosaur: bitch
  598.  
  599. DurianDinosaur: you are just WEAK
  600.  
  601. DurianDinosaur: you are also speaking to the one who got a major kick out of Sammy kicking Anubus's ass with a yo-yo
  602.  
  603. Cornwind Evil: Tractor. Different rules and scenarios. The many subtle details of fiction
  604.  
  605. DurianDinosaur: well kelly rolled a nat 21
  606.  
  607. DurianDinosaur: she is sammy while the raptor is anubis
  608.  
  609. DurianDinosaur: suck it
  610.  
  611. Cornwind Evil: WORKS FOR ME
  612.  
  613. DurianDinosaur: delicious
  614.  
  615. DurianDinosaur: delicious tinned meats
  616.  
  617. DurianDinosaur: "i liked the first book more, you liked dinos back then" "well dinos didn't try to eat me back then"
  618.  
  619. DurianDinosaur: very easy to be idealistic when you haven't been eaten by a dino.
  620.  
  621. Cornwind Evil: That DOES tend to put a damper on things
  622.  
  623. DurianDinosaur: >this is t-rex pee?"
  624.  
  625. DurianDinosaur: wow this kid
  626.  
  627. DurianDinosaur: knows his shit
  628.  
  629. DurianDinosaur: he's going to grow up as a cool kid. : )
  630.  
  631. DurianDinosaur: "how'd you get it? "you... don't wanna know"
  632.  
  633. DurianDinosaur: oh man.
  634.  
  635. DurianDinosaur: press f to pay respects.
  636.  
  637. DurianDinosaur: f
  638.  
  639. DurianDinosaur: >ian mention
  640.  
  641. DurianDinosaur: >CHAOS
  642.  
  643. DurianDinosaur: deltarunejokesgohere
  644.  
  645. DurianDinosaur: and wow bonding over a mutual disrespect of ian
  646.  
  647. DurianDinosaur: damn.
  648.  
  649. DurianDinosaur: "FACKIN COMPYS"
  650.  
  651. DurianDinosaur: oh no
  652.  
  653. DurianDinosaur: they're after our crunch bars!
  654.  
  655. DurianDinosaur: RUN!
  656.  
  657. DurianDinosaur: ANKYLOSAURUS!
  658.  
  659. DurianDinosaur: : o
  660.  
  661. DurianDinosaur: "you drive five miles under the speed limit"
  662.  
  663. DurianDinosaur: thats
  664.  
  665. DurianDinosaur: one way to confirm how safe someone would be with a person
  666.  
  667. DurianDinosaur: "and i've totaled three cars in three years"
  668.  
  669. DurianDinosaur: ...
  670.  
  671. DurianDinosaur: i'm getting flashbacks to my bro, though only two of them are his fault.
  672.  
  673. DurianDinosaur: *shudders*
  674.  
  675. DurianDinosaur: "the buick wasn't totaled, i said it was because i wanted to get the SUV"
  676.  
  677. DurianDinosaur: ...
  678.  
  679. DurianDinosaur: you know
  680.  
  681. DurianDinosaur: in his situation
  682.  
  683. DurianDinosaur: i would have tried it (and failed because I am actually a terrible liar)
  684.  
  685. DurianDinosaur: aw they're getting along i guess?
  686.  
  687. DurianDinosaur: "the closer you are to the water the bigger things get"
  688.  
  689. DurianDinosaur: oh boy
  690.  
  691. DurianDinosaur: i thought this place wasn't fenced in like some other dude said?
  692.  
  693. DurianDinosaur: he lied
  694.  
  695. DurianDinosaur: *completely brushes off happy scene over this*
  696.  
  697. Cornwind Evil: Wait for it...
  698.  
  699. DurianDinosaur: oh.
  700.  
  701. DurianDinosaur: oh no...
  702.  
  703. DurianDinosaur: SPINY'S BACK
  704.  
  705. DurianDinosaur: ALRIGHT
  706.  
  707. DurianDinosaur: WHEN I ASKED FOR A SPINO I DIDN'T MEAN LIKE THIS
  708.  
  709. DurianDinosaur: SPINY BOI HAS NO CHILL
  710.  
  711. DurianDinosaur: HOLY FUCK
  712.  
  713. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/bf87cd145cfa8f07ecac3452376eb6e7
  714.  
  715. DurianDinosaur: "lol how it can go throughsteel yet not get through wood"
  716.  
  717. DurianDinosaur: look man you don't know what kind of wood it is
  718.  
  719. DurianDinosaur: IT MIGHT BE REINFORCED WOOD
  720.  
  721. DurianDinosaur: billy
  722.  
  723. DurianDinosaur: i knew you did it but
  724.  
  725. DurianDinosaur: why you gotta do your boi dirty like this
  726.  
  727. DurianDinosaur: the road to hell
  728.  
  729. DurianDinosaur: is paved with good intentions, billy.
  730.  
  731. DurianDinosaur: Now I pray you don't get eaten by a dinosaur but you're in that strange camp where if you did get eaten
  732.  
  733. DurianDinosaur: you kinda deserved it
  734.  
  735. DurianDinosaur: but i'd feel bad
  736.  
  737. DurianDinosaur: everybody else i was either sad about or felt like they 100% deserved it
  738.  
  739. DurianDinosaur: you're the morally gray one in this situation fam
  740.  
  741. DurianDinosaur: alan being motherfucking raw, reminded by John Hammond's bullshit
  742.  
  743. DurianDinosaur: "THOSE EGGS ARE WHY THEY'RE CHASING US. WHAT IF THEY CATCH US WITH THEM?" "what if they catch us without them?"
  744.  
  745. DurianDinosaur: so the easiest way to deal with it
  746.  
  747. DurianDinosaur: is toss them in the river
  748.  
  749. DurianDinosaur: after they've seen us!
  750.  
  751. DurianDinosaur: I TOLD YOU BOUT THOSE STAIRS BRO
  752.  
  753. DurianDinosaur: I TOLD YOU
  754.  
  755. DurianDinosaur: th
  756.  
  757. DurianDinosaur: the creaks are real
  758.  
  759. DurianDinosaur: nooo
  760.  
  761. DurianDinosaur: also why do i have the vibe that billy is going to murder someone for those eggs?
  762.  
  763. DurianDinosaur: i sure hope that gut feeling i have is wrong
  764.  
  765. DurianDinosaur: "its a birdcage. " "for what?"
  766.  
  767. DurianDinosaur: oh god
  768.  
  769. DurianDinosaur: oh god no
  770.  
  771. DurianDinosaur: PTERODACTYLS ARE FINALLY HERE
  772.  
  773. DurianDinosaur: PERFORMING FOR YOU
  774.  
  775. DurianDinosaur: THEY'RE THE FIRST MEMBER
  776.  
  777. DurianDinosaur: OF THE JP CREW- WAIT SHIT NO THEY'RE LIKE THE FIFTH OR SOME SHIT HOLY SHIT SAVE US
  778.  
  779. DurianDinosaur: "MY KID NOW" NO YOU PUT THAT DOWN YOU MOTHERFUCKER
  780.  
  781. DurianDinosaur: "gotta feed my kids with the flesh of HUMANS"
  782.  
  783. DurianDinosaur: billy redeemed himself
  784.  
  785. DurianDinosaur: to "please don't die" status
  786.  
  787. Cornwind Evil: Funnily, in real life pteros would be little threat on the ground: most humans could probably beat them in a fight with their bare hands.
  788.  
  789. DurianDinosaur: i wouldn't
  790.  
  791. Cornwind Evil: Maybe if you had a weapon
  792.  
  793. DurianDinosaur: i
  794.  
  795. DurianDinosaur: think i might have spoke too soon...
  796.  
  797. DurianDinosaur: ominous gate opening
  798.  
  799. DurianDinosaur: oh no
  800.  
  801. DurianDinosaur: "billy was just young, that's all."
  802.  
  803. DurianDinosaur: young and idealistic
  804.  
  805. DurianDinosaur: but
  806.  
  807. DurianDinosaur: he saved eric.
  808.  
  809. DurianDinosaur: he was good people.
  810.  
  811. DurianDinosaur: ...i'm crying a fourth time, a lil bit
  812.  
  813. DurianDinosaur: harpy cries at dinosaurs
  814.  
  815. DurianDinosaur: "there's two types of boys: those who wanna be astronomers, and those who want to be astronauts"
  816.  
  817. DurianDinosaur: "the astronomer gets to study things in complete safety..." "but you never get to go into space."
  818.  
  819. DurianDinosaur: thats
  820.  
  821. DurianDinosaur: wow.
  822.  
  823. DurianDinosaur: "its the difference between imagining and seeing. to see and touch them. that's... that's all billy wanted"
  824.  
  825. DurianDinosaur: AH YES THE SECOND LEITMOTIF IN THIS SERIES
  826.  
  827. DurianDinosaur: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YESSS I lOVE IT
  828.  
  829. DurianDinosaur: never has a phone been so fucking ominous in a movie
  830.  
  831. DurianDinosaur: time to dig through poop for a phone!
  832.  
  833. DurianDinosaur: ew
  834.  
  835. DurianDinosaur: https://gyazo.com/2d69d9411b636295af6f59bd06cdb672
  836.  
  837. DurianDinosaur: okay so not as disgusting as it looks but >Oatmeal
  838.  
  839. DurianDinosaur: fuckin spam calls
  840.  
  841. DurianDinosaur: i love how this dino just
  842.  
  843. DurianDinosaur: rolls up
  844.  
  845. DurianDinosaur: sniffs
  846.  
  847. DurianDinosaur: and just fucks off
  848.  
  849. Cornwind Evil: I want that phone
  850.  
  851. Cornwind Evil: Most phones stop working if you drop them in a toilet
  852.  
  853. Cornwind Evil: This one still worked after being digested and excreted
  854.  
  855. DurianDinosaur: thats the power of nokia!
  856.  
  857. DurianDinosaur: CHARLIE ITS DINOMAN
  858.  
  859. DurianDinosaur: PLEASE TAKE ME TO MOM
  860.  
  861. DurianDinosaur: AH SHIT ITS SPINO HE CAN SWIM
  862.  
  863. DurianDinosaur: OH NO THE PHONE TURNED OFF
  864.  
  865. DurianDinosaur: OH NO
  866.  
  867. DurianDinosaur: >barney
  868.  
  869. DurianDinosaur: in space
  870.  
  871. DurianDinosaur: nobody can hear me scream at barney
  872.  
  873. DurianDinosaur: because i am certainly screaming "NOOOO" as i cringe internally
  874.  
  875. DurianDinosaur: CHARLEY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  876.  
  877. DurianDinosaur: BARNEY WON'T SAVE US
  878.  
  879. DurianDinosaur: THANK YOU AMAZON FOR TELLING ME THAT THE SONG PLAYING IS "BARNEY IS A DINOSAUR"
  880.  
  881. DurianDinosaur: ellie had bad flashbacks
  882.  
  883. DurianDinosaur: oh no
  884.  
  885. DurianDinosaur: ...this is the stupidest thing that's ever going to come out of my mouth
  886.  
  887. DurianDinosaur: but
  888.  
  889. DurianDinosaur: I HATE YOU
  890.  
  891. DurianDinosaur: YOU HATE ME!
  892.  
  893. DurianDinosaur: YOU TRIED TO EAT MY FAMILY
  894.  
  895. DurianDinosaur: WITH A GREAT FLIP OFF
  896.  
  897. DurianDinosaur: AND YOU EATING ALL THE DOORS
  898.  
  899. DurianDinosaur: YOU'RE A ROASTING DINOSAUR
  900.  
  901. DurianDinosaur: shit
  902.  
  903. DurianDinosaur: wait
  904.  
  905. DurianDinosaur: fuck
  906.  
  907. DurianDinosaur: i messed UP
  908.  
  909. DurianDinosaur: *SPINOSAUR
  910.  
  911. DurianDinosaur: I AM REDEEMED IN THE EYES OF NO ONE BUT GOD
  912.  
  913. DurianDinosaur: WHATEVER GOD PAYS ATTENTION TO A GIRL SCREAMING AT DINOS ANYWAY
  914.  
  915. DurianDinosaur: he lives!
  916.  
  917. DurianDinosaur: also suddenly a bonding moment
  918.  
  919. DurianDinosaur: "i never told her she was the one person i could rely on"
  920.  
  921. DurianDinosaur: and that's why she's married to someone else
  922.  
  923. DurianDinosaur: AAAAA
  924.  
  925. DurianDinosaur: THE OCEAN
  926.  
  927. DurianDinosaur: well
  928.  
  929. DurianDinosaur: THE RAPTORS are what you hear now
  930.  
  931. DurianDinosaur: is it just me or did anyone else hear some big fackin footsteps
  932.  
  933. DurianDinosaur: holy shit she's being cool
  934.  
  935. DurianDinosaur: also did i see that
  936.  
  937. DurianDinosaur: i saw that
  938.  
  939. DurianDinosaur: wow ellie i didn't ask you to bring all these damn tanks
  940.  
  941. DurianDinosaur: OH MY GOD
  942.  
  943. DurianDinosaur: BILLY'S ALLIVE
  944.  
  945. DurianDinosaur: i'm so happy i could cry
  946.  
  947. DurianDinosaur: *keeps wiping away tears before she actually does cry*
  948.  
  949. DurianDinosaur: >he rescued grant's hat
  950.  
  951. DurianDinosaur: ...the most pure, precious scene in history.
  952.  
  953. DurianDinosaur: "its a whole new world for them"
  954.  
  955. DurianDinosaur: maybe we'll have
  956.  
  957. DurianDinosaur: a jurassic world?
  958.  
  959. DurianDinosaur: which i may or may not be watching tomorrow?
  960.  
  961. Cornwind Evil: And then fighter planes shot them out of the sky.
  962.  
  963. DurianDinosaur: shush
  964.  
  965. DurianDinosaur: anyway i don't
  966.  
  967. DurianDinosaur: understand how this movie is controversial
  968.  
  969. DurianDinosaur: sure it might not carry the same sorta tension the first two movies did but
  970.  
  971. DurianDinosaur: come on
  972.  
  973. DurianDinosaur: i cried five times
  974.  
  975. Cornwind Evil: It's 'controversial' in purely arbitrary fashion
  976.  
  977. DurianDinosaur: "OH NO STEVEN SPIELBURG-DESU IS NOT DIRECTING ABLOOO"
  978.  
  979. Cornwind Evil: People tend to get real empassioned over what they like and don't like
  980.  
  981. DurianDinosaur: also that barney scene is pure gold and i hate it.
  982.  
  983. Cornwind Evil: And too many see a 'failure' to follow their opinion as a personal attack
  984.  
  985. Cornwind Evil: Outside of a few very small exceptions
  986.  
  987. Cornwind Evil: If you like something, who cares
  988.  
  989. DurianDinosaur: also the spinosaur didn't fucking kill a dog like a fucking CERTAIN T-REX DID
  990.  
  991. Cornwind Evil: Probably because there were no dogs on the island...
  992.  
  993. DurianDinosaur: I like the fact that they changed the raptors to reflect our current insights into them (grant musta been like "HAHA, I WAS RIGHT" on the inside when he saw these ones)
  994.  
  995. DurianDinosaur: I also thoroughly enjoyed spino being a super aggressive bitchtit
  996.  
  997. DurianDinosaur: this movie is why so many people are sluts for this spino toy
  998.  
  999. DurianDinosaur: speaking of which
  1000.  
  1001. DurianDinosaur: SPINO REPORT: still out of stock
  1002.  
  1003. DurianDinosaur: would have been 100% hillarious if it restocked just as I finished watching this
  1004.  
  1005. DurianDinosaur: so like, no fucking clue why people hate it so someone please enlighten me when you inevitibly read through these words and wonder what the fuck
  1006.  
  1007. DurianDinosaur: its a solid 9.9/10 at the very least
  1008.  
  1009. DurianDinosaur: i mean
  1010.  
  1011. DurianDinosaur: billy lived!
  1012.  
  1013. DurianDinosaur: HE LIVED YOU GUYS
  1014.  
  1015. Cornwind Evil: There is no reason that can be given that falls under something like 2+2 is 4
  1016.  
  1017. Cornwind Evil: Or "This film is something like I Spit On Your Grave."
  1018.  
  1019. Cornwind Evil: Which is one of those kind of films that if you profess liking it, it is deeply, DEEPLY alarming
  1020.  
  1021. DurianDinosaur: only a 9.9/10 because that red dino near the end didn't do anything aside from snort in our general direction
  1022.  
  1023. DurianDinosaur: could have at least saved us from something
  1024.  
  1025. DurianDinosaur: but you're great for marketing, please, come into my dino toy collection that I don't have
  1026.  
  1027. DurianDinosaur: if you even
  1028.  
  1029. DurianDinosaur: have toys
  1030.  
  1031. DurianDinosaur: for showing up for 10 seconds then fucking off
  1032.  
  1033. DurianDinosaur: please do.
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