r/FFXIV Rant

Let me just preface this with saying, I have great love for this show and I believe whole heartedly with what you do and the vision you have for this show. You're firing on all cylinders lately, and this *IS* the gold standard of FFXIV podcasts, if not podcasts in general. And I listen to a LOT of podcasts and other radio *BABA BOOEY BABA BOOEY*, grew up with various shock jocks and morning zoos since the 80's. I may not know production, but I know consumption and a good radio product when I see one.

Recently on Episode 34 (made possible by generous Patreon donors) Aniero mentioned Reddit and the state of groupthink that exists there, as well as some of their "rules" regarding promotion. Let me start off by telling you what I think of Reddit.

The Good

Reddit largely allows for more-or-less free speech on most topics. Run into someone acting like a tool? You can usually call them out for it, tell them they're an asshole and largely you won't really get banned or anything. I have on more than one occasion, told people off claiming they're wastes of sperm and egg, even going to more extremes *WITH MY WORDS* as one does in a heated internet flame war. So long as it doesn't get too out of hand, you'll rarely see any sort of mod intervention, unlike on the Official Forums of fucking Stalingrad, where disagreeing with someone's favorite flavor of ice cream will land you a castration and a permaban. Reddit has SOME theory crafting, some tips, tricks, strategies and game play discussion on occasion that one can use to improve themselves as a player. This is why I even bother. A moderate amount of "free" speech, and useful information.

The Bad

Fuck you Reddit and your overly PC fucking horseshit excuse of a sub community for FFXIV. The majority of you are fucking neckbeard weeaboos that fap into your encrusted anime body pillows as you dream up the next crayola "masterpiece" you'll shit out in between masturbation sessions about your 10,000th bikini catgirl commission which somehow manages to get 4,000 upvotes and floods the subs first 3 front pages. What does this say about this sub's community? It says it's utter shit, filled with the filthiest of casuals who bombard you with downvotes if you dare bring up any sort of actual discussion that isn't considered "Kawaii". I'll bet even the female Redditors have neckbeards too, and I'm playing fast and loose with the term "female". I mean, have you SEEN the sort of ham-beasts that try to pass off as cosplayers on Reddit in the past? I mean I put in a LOT of hours, so I'm not built like Dwayne Johnson, but I smell what's cookin' when you try to stuff a 300lb pig into a K-Mart Minfilia outfit, it's the stench of pork from those rubbing thighs.

On the subject of downvotes, I for one, do not care much for arbitrary Internet points. I'm not going to care if what I have to say is unpopular, or hurts some butts out there. In fact, I relish in the tears I cause when being brutally honest in calling someone out for being a shit player, while the rest of Reddit poo-poos them and demonizes the hardcore community. They've turned the word "elitist" into a bastardized version of the term, implying anyone who might go a bit above the "average" of the already low standards of the skill of the FFXIV playerbase, into meaning some sort of exclusionary asshole player, devoid of empathy, compassion, or wanting to help others with content.

I consider myself in the "hardcore" category, and I've helped IMMENSE amounts of people FOR FREE, clear content. I DF things ON PURPOSE because I know it must be nice to occasionally come across a well-geared tank who knows mechanics and can react to people's Duty Finder idiocy and lack of ability. I have broad shoulders, and don't mind carrying others to victory. But when it comes down to brass tax and pushing the upper content, there's a REASON I'll be exclusionary. I am experienced enough to know when a player is going to be a detriment to the party. I look at your gear, your jobs, your Lodestone, and based on a LOT more experience than most that play, I know you're not right for a Savage level excursion, and you'll be a hindrance.

Oh I can be an asshole when I want to, but that's not due to being an "elitist", it's due to knowing math and recognizing you former Soldiery Super Heroes™ and Poetics Power Rangers™ with your welfare tomestone handouts, simply don't have the experience in situations that require you to react, strategize, think outside of the box to cover lapses that occur in the course of tackling the upper content. It's like Redditors will see this sort of player, deem them "elitist" as if this is some sort of dirty word. As if being good at this game is somehow a bad thing.

I might be an asshole, but in different ways and for other reasons than you might think. It's your lack of intelligence and basic understanding of simple things that gets me pouring my salt in your direction most of all, not your filthy casual ways. I don't expect someone in say, A3 Normal to treat it like Savage and be on point passing me a tether, but hey you  Mr. BLM last week that actually ran through the middle puddle to somehow survive THAT while flailing your body and managing to steal it off of me and explode spectacularly into the rest of the crowd of players, yeah fuck you and your Darwin Award winning ass you fucking idiot. Alex has been out for months and you can't be assed to pop open a guide? Then you'll put down your crusty pillow long enough to go straight to Reddit to complain that "It's too hard" when you can't bother to manage the most simplest of mechanics.

Reddit celebrates and rewards laziness, lack of ability, promotes ideals that one should never go above and beyond the bare minimum required, then chastizes the Dev team for not catering to their every whim and their "It's-my-sub-I-play-how-I-want" sort of attitude. BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET A CHANCE TO VOICE THIS BECAUSE r/FFXIVArt GETS COMPLETELY FUCKING IGNORED AND YOUR 4,000 POTATO ARMORED/CATGIRL BADLY DRAWN COMMISSIONS LITTER THE GODDAMNED FRONT PAGES FOR MILES.

You can't get through to any of them either. They're cookie cutter posters of each other, afraid that someone might downvote them causing an avalanche of idiocy and negative Internet points, fracturing their wittle weeaboo egos. I try to spread the gospel of LBR when and where I can, the doctrine of #GitGud and although I may not be "nice" about things, the one thing I am is honest.

The TL;DR for this is FUCK YOU REDDIT AND YOUR FUCKING CATGIRL PICTURES, YOUR GROUP THINK. YOU CAN SUCK MY DICK IF YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR MOTHER'S BASEMENT LONG ENOUGH TO DO SO. YOU OVERLY PC PANTY WASTES CAN COLLECTIVELY FUCK YOURSELVES BLOODY, SIDEWAYS WITH CACTII AND FILM IT FOR YOUTUBE, YOU WEEABOO FUCKS! IF CANCER, AIDS, AND EBOLA MADE A 3-WAY BASTARD CHILD, IT WOULD BE r/FFXIV

Criticism for LBR

My only real criticism for LBR might sound tiny compared to that mountain of salt I just shat out. I recently moved my main character to Sgt. Anus due to happenstance in joining a raid group I found on FFXIV Recruitment. I also raid with another group on Leviathan, which is where I had been for the duration of Heavensward so far. Upon moving, I'm like GREAT! I can run into the hosts of my favorite show, shoot the shit, maybe run some stuff with them when I'm not raiding and have a grand old time hanging out with the Laser Beam Raptors. Only, the hosts are never on, and when they are, it's not for long. I get it, you guys are trying out other games, we're in a lull for content (so they say, I'm busy as fuck still doing, you know, content). Aniero, I recently leveled WHM to 60, I'll heal your lolDRK for an Expert sometime, or any of the other hosts IF THEY ACTUALLY FUCKING PLAYED THE GAME. I've only ever seen Nika like twice (Hi Nika), usually logged in and AFK for vast periods. Juxta I've seen ONCE. C'mon gais, you host this awesome podcast and you're never on? Do you even FFXIV? The most I see is Aniero, and even that is pretty rare and not for long. I know I play A LOT of FFXIV (upwards of ~30-40 hours a week if I binge on weekends) and I know what it's like to juggle IRL, family, work, kids, spouse, etc. But I think even being a filthy casual has higher requirements than from what I've seen you guys actually in game.

Don't mistake this for a lack of love, it's quite the opposite. I love the show THAT MUCH that I'm willing to ask, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS?! If I didn't, I wouldn't care. Now I may not always be there live for a show because I'm, you know, doing content on weekends, but you'll always catch me watching that LBR YouTube broadcast trolling comments and the occasional twittering here and there. You're radio people, you have some funding now, get creative with the streams and like Lil Wayne from last episode suggested, do something like stream your A1S fails as a group, I'd watch the hell out of it as would many others. A FFXIV podcast should FFXIV even in a lull. And yes, your dicks are good.

Much love,


~Nikki Seven (Sargatanas Server)/Nikki Five (Leviathan Server)

P.S. I'm willing to put my money where my mouth is. I've recently canceled my premium Guildworks subscription and think it'll do more good as war bonds in the Patreon LBRmy.