My Sugarcube

>it’s been nearly 2 decades since she passed, and that day became both the worst, and best day of your life
>the love of your life, the most beautiful woman in the world, left her life on this world the same day she brought new life into it
>the cause being an extremely rare genetic disorder that causes severe internal bleeding
>Doctors couldn’t do anything without risking further damage, she was doomed
>You still remember the last words she ever said to you, as you clutched on to her hand praying and begging for her not to leave you, as she was mere minutes away from being gone forever
>”P-promise me you’ll raise h-her right? If n-not for her, then for m-me, please?”
>You nodded your head a hundred times over, too busy crying to give a proper response, and rushed close to wrap your arms around her and hold her closer than you ever have before
>You didn’t want to lose her, you didn’t want her to leave you, you wanted to keep loving her for the rest of your life, but right now she’s being stolen from you, and you’re powerless to stop it
>She moved one of her arms away from you, reaching atop her head
>She slowly lifts off her Cowboy hat, the same hat she’s worn every single day since the day you met her
>And places it atop your own head, twisting and turning it so it’s on you straight
>She places her hand upon your cheek, overrun with tears, and speaks again
>”Honey... it’ll all be o-okay. You’ll b-be okay. Ah know it.”
>”Ah love you. A-and you’ve given m-me so much that ah woulda n-never had, had a-ah not met you.”
>”Thank y-you for loving me all the s-same, sugarcube.”
>At that last word you broke down completely, your crying now completely audible to the world outside of the room, and you held her as hard as you could
>That was always her special name for you. Hearing that would always bring a warm, tender heat to your chest, but now all it did was bring sadness and desperation
>You just stayed there, hugging her and crying for what felt like hours, days, years even, but the sad reality was that it was no more than a few minutes before she departed from you
>Doctors rushed you out of the room, and despite how much you wanted to fight, to stop them, to get back to holding your love, you stayed motionless, letting them pull you away from the last time you would ever see her
>The last sight you ever saw of your wife was her lying on that hospital bed, eyes closed, tears staining her cheeks, with a peaceful smile in between
>It made you wonder if she knew beforehand this would occur, and had already accepted the fate, or she was truly happy with the life she lived
>But it pained you that you would never get to see her beautiful face, or her adorable smile, or hear that valley accented “Sugarcube” ever again
>You were sat down in another room, nearly identical to the one you were just in, however this room didn’t hold your wife, or anyone besides you and a couple nurses
>The nurses looked repeatedly between you and each other, they had something urgent to say, but didn’t know the right way to say it, or if it was even right to say it at this point
>You didn’t look up to see them, but you could tell by the drops hitting the floor that weren’t yours that they were teary-eyed as well
>Finally one of the nurses spoke
>”Mr. Mous, we are truly, deeply sorry for the loss you have suffered today... We wish we could have done something to prevent this from happening as no person deserves this type of loss in life...”
>The other nurse spoke up as well
>”And we’re all here to provide you with any necessary care and support you feel you may need to get through this. However, there is an urgent matter we must ask of you, if you feel you are ready to undertake it.”
>What could be more urgent than losing the love of your life? You want nothing more than to lie down and rot away until you can see your wife again, and they need your help with something?
>You stay quiet, just wondering how you could ever move on from this, until the next words from the nurse’s mouth makes you remember why this all happened in the first place
>”We must ask if you feel you are ready and mentally okay to see your newborn offspring. It is very important that the newborn be near a parent immediately after birth as it can provide numerous long term health benefits for the child.”
>The baby.
>YOUR baby.
>The realization hits you that she’s the only family you have left anymore.
>And your wife made it her dying wish to ask you to make sure you nurture this child so that she may have a happy life.
>The life you never got to have.
>And there was no way in hell you would ever disgrace your wife by leaving that wish unfulfilled.
>You need to see that baby. You need to see YOUR baby.
>You speak for the first time in what feels like centuries, your voice tired and croaky from all the crying, holding back anymore tears
“Please, please let me see her. Just let me see my baby, please.”
>One of the nurses nods and rushes out the door, while the other goes to a closet and pulls out multiple items.
>The first being what looks to be a large drawer with wheels at the bottom, tall enough to reach the top of the hospital bed you’re sitting on
>Next she pulls out a large, clear container, the shape of which looks to be an upside down trapezoid without a base.
>Finally she starts pulling out pillows and blankets, and it dawns on you that she’s making a bed for the baby. A makeshift nursery, if you will, to keep by your side.
>”I hope it’s not an issue if you’re asked to stay at the hospital for a few days? It’s standard procedure that the newborn remain here with the mo- *ahem* - remain here for at least a week so we can be sure it’s perfectly healthy, however now we would also like to monitor you during this time of grief as well.”
>You listen to what the nurse has to say while still looking at the ground
>There really wasn’t a reason for you to go home, was there?
>Your jobs consisted of either freelance designer or apple farmer, neither of which required a set schedule
>Plus, you need to learn how to take care of your baby
“Yes, that’s fine. There’s really nothing that requires me to be home for a week.”
>The nurse nods upon hearing your agreement and finishes with the makeshift nursery
>It almost resembles a cradle, if you made it with random IKEA furniture items
>”Okay, all I ask is that you please lay down and try to relax. You’ve been through a lot of stress so far today and the baby can feel the stress exhibited by it’s parents. And please remember, if you ever, ever feel the need or want to speak about your feelings, we are here to help you get through this.”
>You nod and give a short ‘thank you’ to the nurse before lying down on the bed
>It’s not the most comfortable thing you’ve slept on, but definitely not the worst considering you’ve slept on hay before
>Suddenly you hear a door open down the hall and instantly hear the loudest baby crying you’ve ever heard
>Surely that can’t be yours, right?
>A mother so sweet and gentle would surely have a similar baby, right?
>Then the crying gets closer to your room, also becoming louder
>Much louder
>As if this baby just witnessed it’s entire family die right in front of it, like it was trying to expel every single one of its inner organs through its mouth
>Then you see the nurse who left before now standing in the doorway to your room, holding that screaming baby
>Your screaming baby
>You can’t see her yet due to her being swaddled
>”I’m so sorry Mr. Mous, but the nurses in the nursery said that she’s been nonstop crying since she was taken in. Usually babies stop crying once put into a bed, but she hasn’t stopped at all.”
>Did she somehow know what happened?
>Did your baby know what happened to her mother and is crying for her?
>Maybe there is some psychic connection between the mother and child that’s been severed, and the baby is left distraught and confused
>Maybe your the key to fixing it?
“Please, bring her here. I want to hold her.”
>The nurse carefully walks over to the bed you lie in, gently cradling your child to no effect
>She reaches the side of the bed and slowly begins to stretch her arms out towards you
>Your arms are trembling, but you hold them out so that you can hold your little girl
>The only person in this world you have anymore
>Finally, she is in your arms and you maneuver her into the crook of your elbow, as if you were cradling her
>And bring her close to your chest, wrapping your other arms around the first to act as a barrier
>Almost instantly, upon bringing your little girl close to you, she starts to calm down
>The screaming and wails turn to whines and whimpers, and she slowly wiggles around in your arms to get comfortable
>In a matter of seconds, she falls asleep in your arms
>It’s the single most heart warming, adorable moment of your life you’ve ever lived through
>The nurse looks at you in disbelief
>”Wha- Ha- How did you do that?!?” She whisper shouts, bring careful not to wake up the baby
>You simply not your head and whisper
“I don’t know. I just did what felt right.”
>You finally take a good look at her now that she’s sleeping
>Your little girl is one of the cutest things you’ve ever laid eyes on
>Your immediate attention turns towards her head and the large mass of straight, blonde hair she has
>She definitely inherited that from her mother, thank goodness
>Better than your scruffy brown anyway
>Plus, as you’ve seen on your wife, it looks gorgeous
>You then start to wonder what other aspects of your wife she may share
>It’s too early to say if she has freckles or not because of how young she is, but you secretly hope she’ll get them one day
>Your wife’s freckles were always adorable yet mesmerizing to look at
>The most important thing though, was you wondered if she’ll keep her accent or not
>You’ve been with your wife for quite some time yet never picked up on the valley accent, but she said she’s had it since the day she could speak
>You suddenly feel tears run down your cheeks after thinking so much of your wife.
>However, these tears are different
>These aren’t tears of sadness, or desperation, or grief or pain
>No, these are tears of relief, tears of hope, and tears of joy
>This wonderful little bundle of joy you hold in your arms was the very last gift your wife ever gave to you
>And you want to cherish this gift for the rest of your life
>You extend one of your fingers to the little one’s hands, almost smaller than your thumb
>In her sleep, the baby wraps her hand around your finger, and it’s barely big enough to fit the whole way around
>Absolutely precious
>You speak while choking back the tears
“She’s beautiful, just like her mother.”
>The nurse nods her head in agreement
>”Yes, she is quite the beautiful little girl. Do you have a name for her yet?”
>You didn’t have to think of that answer for even a second
>Your wife already thought of the absolute perfect name before your little girl was born
“Yes, actually. It’s what my wife wanted to name her once we found out it was a girl.”
“Welcome to the world, Jacqueline.”
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