Stuff

12:09 - Marko♣™: I've been feeling really angry and aggressive lately.
12:10 - SnowTheory: I would say to take a swim, that helps me xD
12:10 - Marko♣™: That's not available for me at the moment.
12:10 - Marko♣™: I think I need to ride my bicycle
12:11 - Alfa: Heya Sunshiners~
12:13 - Marko♣™: ♫ Turn it up like you always do.
♫ Head to toe, covered in tattoos.
♫ Sooner or later, you're gonna come loose.
♫ What the fuck you gonna do?
12:15 - SnowTheory: Im gonna take Marko on a journey of chilled times, where he will forget his anger learn that ice cream is awesome http://cdn.steamcommunity.com/economy/emoticon/muxin  http://cdn.steamcommunity.com/economy/emoticon/sundae
12:15 - Marko♣™: No, I will not forget about my angry, I will release it.
12:16 - SnowTheory: and then the world exploded as he released all the anger xD
12:16 - Marko♣™: May the world burn in righteous fire xD
12:16 - Marko♣™: https://youtu.be/Qjb2mKCD2iA
12:17 - Marko♣™: Into the Nothing, faded and weary
12:18 - Marko♣™: I feel so edgy recently.
12:18 - Marko♣™: Snow..
12:19 - SnowTheory: major events happening that are effecting you this way?
12:19 - SnowTheory: Marko~
12:19 - 「Suzu」: I might cut myself on Marko cause he's so edgy ;w,
12:19 - SnowTheory: :c
12:20 - Marko♣™: Well, I'm supposed to go to an interview today, but I think I'm just feeling stressed recently for no specific cause. I just feel lost and confused a lot.
12:20 - Marko♣™: Well recently anyways.
12:21 - GG.Sunshiners: Well, good luck Marko. :3
12:21 - SnowTheory: May be due to you not knowing for sure as to which path to follow in life currently
12:21 - Marko♣™: So I think about a lot of things on my own and I tend to just keep to myself during these times.
12:22 - Marko♣™: Well, I've been pressured by that question for the past few years Snow, ever since I finished school. I feel that I want to find a way own my own, but I don't know where to look exactly.
12:22 - GG.Sunshiners: Thats actually a good way to avoid getting tensed before a big event.
12:22 - SnowTheory: buts its been ever more pressuring these past few weeks?
12:23 - Marko♣™: So I was mostly busy with my exercises about my back condition and going "here" and "there" regarding my dental issues.
12:23 - Marko♣™: I was "busy" I was also busy with DotA.
12:24 - Marko♣™: Busy with studying for my drivers exams, I didn't feel the pressure of having to work for money, because I didn't have the time for it.
12:24 - Alfa disconnected.
12:24 - Marko♣™: Even though we've hit nearly rock bottom recently and during that time my diet was very poor.
12:25 - Marko♣™: With the deaths of my grandparents, I was busy dealing with the work that comes after, I was trying to devote my time to prepare myself and to know what to do when the time comes for my parents etc...
12:25 - SnowTheory: keeping busy to avoid something that may affect you negatively
12:26 - Marko♣™: Yeah, but I didn't avoid it, I just couldn't do anything about it at the time.
12:26 - Alphira entered chat.
12:26 - Marko♣™: wb Alfa
12:26 - SnowTheory: wbs
12:26 - Marko♣™: So I accepted the fact that I can't work at the time.
12:26 - Alphira: Thaanks~
12:26 - ► $p1R1t ◄ left chat.
12:26 - ► $p1R1t ◄ entered chat.
12:27 - Marko♣™: However, my mother is getting older, my father as well. They both seemed to feel very ill at one point this year.. My father was also exposed to radiation poisoning during the bombarding of Belgrade in the 1999.
12:27 - ► $p1R1t ◄: ok... I just pressed a random key on my keyboard and the chat closed
12:27 - ► $p1R1t ◄: Wb alfa
12:27 - Marko♣™: wb Spirit
12:27 - Eve entered chat.
12:27 - ► $p1R1t ◄: heya eve....
12:27 - Eve: Haihaii.~
12:27 - Marko♣™: I feel like I need to find some "stability" before everything comes crashing down on me.
12:27 - SnowTheory: Heyo Eve
12:27 - Eve: Just promoted back to Gold 3 in like the carriest game of all time on League o3o
12:28 - Marko♣™: But I feel like I know nothing, like I can't do much as I am and I can't earn money etc...
12:28 - Marko♣™: Hey Eve :)
12:28 - Eve: Oh Marko, something wrong? ;x
12:28 - SnowTheory: solve some issues to give a bit of stability
12:28 - Alphira: Eveeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
12:28 - Eve: Alphiiiraaaa~
12:29 - Alphira: ^-^
12:29 - Marko♣™: So when I go to a topic regarding jobs and employment, I just get angry.. Because the pay is really poor for pretty much every job and I can't do any job, thanks to me wanting to avoid any fatal injuries.
12:30 - Marko♣™: So this desire and purpose to get rich somehow, filthy rich and just rule this place in a way I see fit, in a way where there won't be stupid reality shows on television and the modern media which poisons my peers and younger generations.
12:30 - Marko♣™: But it's my hatred.
12:31 - Marko♣™: So I want to use that hatred if I can, if I can't find a proper purpose, then any purpose will do.
12:31 - Marko♣™: Years ago I used to think that I will struggle out of fear for my own survival, out of fear of living on the streets, barely scraping by each day..
12:32 - Marko♣™: And I told myself that if it comes to it, I'll go to the army or go to prison.
12:32 - Marko♣™: Because my father told me that the worst way to die would be from starvation. In this day and age! You're pressured by this feeling..
12:33 - Marko♣™: How can people live with themselves? Our predecessors have built these lands from blood, sweat and tears.
12:33 - SnowTheory: There is always something that can be done, its just the matter of how far you would go to accomplish what you want
12:33 - Marko♣™: So I hate the elderly, I hate the ones responsible, because is supposed to feel responsible for their surroundings and they should make effort in taking care of it.
12:34 - Kazumi left chat.
12:34 - Marko♣™: I swallowed "everyone"
12:35 - Marko♣™: Yes, I want to secure myself.
12:35 - Marko♣™: However, I don't want to be the only one.
12:36 - Marko♣™: Indeed there's always something that can be done Snow.
12:36 - SnowTheory: its just the matter of what you are willing to do
12:36 - Marko♣™: But you can't do it on your own and without resources and the mindset for it.
12:36 - Marko♣™: You need knowledge as well.
12:37 - Marko♣™: You either play "their" game or you make your own if you know how to do it.
12:38 - Marko♣™: So when I felt this way, years ago I ended up taking long walks on my own. Just to think about these "topics".
12:38 - Marko♣™: And I rode my bicycle with each day to release my anger.
12:38 - SnowTheory: you play their game and make it your own
12:39 - Marko♣™: https://youtu.be/jJ3YPcwkq_g
12:39 - Marko♣™: This song is fantastic.
12:39 - Marko♣™: Nobody else has said a word for now. I'm sorry if I ruined the mood..
12:40 - Marko♣™: It's just that I didn't think much about these things while I was in school.
12:40 - Marko♣™: I figured I'll eventually find out what I want and I'll go down that road.
12:40 - Marko♣™: But things just got worse and worse, with each passing day.
12:41 - SnowTheory: things must get worse before they get
12:41 - SnowTheory: better*
12:41 - Marko♣™: That's not the necessary truth you know..
12:42 - SnowTheory: but it is something to think upon
12:42 - Marko♣™: I've been aware of it though.
12:42 - Marko♣™: My desires aren't really complicated, I've got a simple wish.
12:43 - SnowTheory: world domination
12:43 - Marko♣™: No xD
12:43 - SnowTheory: \o/
12:43 - Marko♣™: But if the chance arises, I think I might just go down that path too.
12:44 - Marko♣™: https://youtu.be/Q-QhBfDnyNY
12:44 - Marko♣™: Lets just listen to some music for the time being, but I am honestly curious about what the others have to say.
12:44 - Marko♣™: I feel like I've just ranted on my own and scared everyone back to their shells.
12:45 - 「Suzu」 disconnected.
12:45 - SnowTheory: or they still trying to process all this info
12:45 - Marko♣™: Maybe, maybe. As far as I know a lot of the regulary are teens, right?
12:45 - Marko♣™: So I can understand if they wish to have no part of this.
12:46 - Marko♣™: Or if they see it as some random drama rambling.
12:46 - SnowTheory: majority of them are under 20 I assume
12:46 - Marko♣™: If I remember, that's the truth.
12:46 - Marko♣™: At the early steps of adultery.
12:47 - SnowTheory: I know that you, me Sei here are over 20 xD
12:47 - SnowTheory: not sure who else is 20+
12:47 - Marko♣™: I wonder if I give out the feeling of "looking down on others" with the way I speak.
12:47 - SnowTheory: I dont think so xD
12:47 - SnowTheory: you are our old bear
12:47 - SnowTheory: we see you as a huggable plushie bear