Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like it’s 999 by Midnight Shadow

Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like it’s 999
An MLP:FiM silly shipfic by Midnight Shadow
***
Celestia was so happy, she had worked hard the entire year and this mid-winter night, finally, would be her day off. The long summer - long working days for the pony in charge of the sun - was over. Her little sister, her darling, dear little sister, was home and in charge of the night. She could finally...

DA-DO-DA-DO-DA-DOO-DOO, DA-DO-DA-DO-DA-DOO-DOO...

Celestia cracked open one eyelid, what in Equestria?

UNCE-UNCE-UNCE-UNCE...

Celestia reached for her magical moondial - 3 a.m.? What did that filly think she was pulling? Celestia tossed and turned in her enormous, four-poster bed. She wrapped the covers over her ears, but could still hear it. She jammed the pillows in her ears but the beat still came through. She grit her teeth until her horn almost fell off but still the annoying, loud, thumping, inane, mind-numbing sorry excuse for music wormed it’s way into her consciousness like a conscientious thief pry-barring open a window to return an unwanted gift.

She’d had just about enough of this! Celestia leaped out of bed and teleported straight down to the ballroom, nightcap flopping over her bloodshot eyes as she yelled at the top of her lungs, “LUNA WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS RUCKUS???”

It took a few seconds for her to realise a few key points. Number one - Luna wasn’t visible in the room. Number two, approximately half of Equestria was. Number three, she, Celestia, imperial living goddess-princess of all Equestria was standing in the middle of the over-populated ballroom in her pink frilly nightgown and cap.

“...eeep...” was all she managed, “er..hehe...carry on...carry on...”

The music started up again with barely a pause and Celestia started blushing so hotly she was quite convinced her clothes would catch fire. why, she wondered to herself, is this so much more embarassing when you’re wearing clothes? I mean I’m mostly naked most of the time...

“LUNA!” hissed Celestia, casting her gaze about, “LUNA!!”

“Oh yeah, gotta boogie, uh-huh, shake yer tail...” a small, young, pink and purple lampshade-wearing dragon bumped into her ankles, looked up, eyes wide, and then squeaked out a “Celestia!” before he straightened the lampshade in a vain attempt to look more official. He pulled his scales straight and harrumphed, then took the lampshade off his head...then put it on again...then took it off and nervously fiddled about with it in his claws, “Oh, Celestia...what brings you to this..our..er Luna’s party?”

“Spike, dearest Spike,” hissed Celestia, bloodshot eyes glowing, narrowed, glaring at the creature before her as if she were about to step on him, “I could hardly miss such a function WHEN THE MUSIC IS BEING PLAYED THIS LOUD AT THREE IN THE MORNING! Where in Equestria is my little delinquent sister?”

“She’s...uh...” Spike looked around in a panic. Something bad was going to happen to him, he was sure, if he couldn’t find the younger monarch. His heart sank, he spied her...or rather the back end of her, poking out from under a table. Even worse, the back end of a certain purple unicorn was poking out the other end. There was giggling, he could tell that, and lots of furtive movement. He face-clawed so hard he wouldn’t feel it until the next week and scampered over, attempting to stay ahead of Celestia. He kicked the blue, mooning winged unicorn princess in the hind-quarters and hissed loudly, “LUNA! Your sister is here to see you...and only you!”

There was an audible gulp from under the table, and a sheepish, dark blue winged unicorn filly edged out and stood unsteadily on three legs and a chair, leaning on a table. She grinned up at her older sister.

Spike dived for cover and decided to try to get his employer out from under said same table and out from under the baleful gaze of Princess Celestia. “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh I’m going to get sent to the moon! Forever! And there’s only cheese there to eat, no diamonds! No rubies! Oh no...oh my...Twilight get up you useless fat lump of a lesbian trollop!” hissed Spike, shaking the gently-snoring Twilight Sparkle just as hard as he could.

“‘Mm? Mommy, is that you?” Twilight looked up blearily at the dragon, then slumped, “you’re not my mommy.”

Spike kicked her again and then, apologizing in advance, bit her ear. That did it. She jumped, hitting her head on the table, “OW! What did you do tha- oh dear, oh goodness...” Twilight moved faster than he would have thought possible and had her head over a mostly-empty punch-bowl in less than a second.

“...and now it’s not empty any more. Oh...oh eeww...oh...good grief that girl can pack it away...”

Spike hurried after her, and she looked down at him in bewilderment, “why didn’t you tell me Celestia was coming?”

“How could I? Luna was supposed to get her O-U-T out! Apparently she didn’t!” handwaved Spike urgently.

“...And what did you call me? I’m not a trollop!”

“If Celestia finds out you were canoodling with her little sister under a table in a drunken stupor you’ll be a frog!”

“I was not canoodling! ...At least...I don’t think I...oh...oh dear...” a hazy recollection of giggling, soft lips and meeting tongues invaded her mind. She shook her head to clear it, quite a mistake.

“We’re going to run out of punch-bowls in a minute...” said Spike, face-clawing again.

Meanwhile, Celestia was doing her best to look furious in a dishevelled nightgown and floppy, frilly nightcap. It didn’t quite work, “this, young lady, is the one night of the year I get to sleep! One night! Is that too much?”

Luna blushed, then hunched up, and then started crying loudly, “It’s the..*sniff* one night *snnrrk* the one night thats *snort* just mine *snot* all mine *snirrff* and only mine and you...you want me to..to..sit in some nunnery and waste away, forever! Well I won’t! I won’t! I’m...I’m taking Twilight and leaving forever! You’ll never have another night again! You can stay up forever and shine until you explode!”

“You’ll WHAT?” shouted Celestia

“With who?” gasped Spike

“Oh dear...” said Twilight, and looked like she wished the earth would open up and swallow her. Infact, she probably knew a spell for that...if only her head weren’t pounding so...

Celestia blinked. Her younger sister had apparently caught up with modern fashions quicker than expected. It seemed like just the other day when she was going off half-cocked about unshorn fetlocks. Celestia put one glorious, delicate hoof to her head and breathed deeply.

“Twilight, my most prized pupil, if I learn you’ve made my little sister cry I will personally send you to the moon for a thousand years.”

Twilight, inebriated as she was, gulped, her ears flat against her head.

“Luna...I guess I should ease up a bit, even if you’re going to regret this in the morning. Have your party, it’s your night, you deserve it. Even stupid sexy Twilight.” added Celestia under her breath.

“And Spike, we will have words in the morning about keeping my student out of trouble.”

Spike blanched and fainted dead away. As she was turning to leave, a purple unicorn with a deep blue mane and tail tripped over the prone dragon and practically fell into Celestia’s hooves.

“Whee! Isn’t this just the best! Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there...wanna dance?”

Celestia blinked, then she realized. Her cap was covering her horn, her nightgown was covering her cutie-mark. This pony didn’t know who she was. It wasn’t Twilight - stupid, sexy Twilight - but for tonight, maybe it didn’t matter. What the hell, she didn’t have to get up until late tomorrow anyway, this was the longest night of the year after all.

Luna collapsed under a table with Twilight, both of them snoring, the latter with all four hooves in the air, Spike wrapped himself up in a table-cloth and passed out, and Celestia partied harder than anypony until long after she forgot she should have been in bed.

The sun rose that next morning a little late, but it rose, wobbling, all the same.