A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to 4chan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-hZhr2k2hk

Something Unreal, something Metal Gear,
Something for everyone a vidya tonight!
Something Uncharted, something Kickstarted,
Something for everyone a vidya tonight!
Nothing for fem'nists, nothing for /v/;
Bring on the traps, and free DLC.
Beloved franchises, gimmick surprises,
Nothing pretentious or in spite,
Exercise tomorrow, vidya tonight.

Something Killing Floor, something LA Noire,
Something for everyone a vidya tonight!
Something New Vegas, something with Giygas,
Something for everyone a vidya tonight!
Nothing with COD, nothing delayed;
Good games aren't rehashed, and don't have gays.

Our principal companies live on this street, in a less fashionable era of the industry, in these three studios.
First the house of Sonius, a befuddled old man, abroad now in search of his audience, stolen in infancy by no games.

Something with shooting, something with looting,
Something for everyone a vidya tonight.

Second the house of Biowarus, a shipper and slash-fic writer of the lives of fictional characters; that's for those of you who have absolutely no interest in gameplay.
*pig snort* "Something for everyone (who isn't cis or white)."

And finally, the house of Linux, who lives here with Valve and their hats. Also in this house dwells Gabelus, slave to the hats. Gabelus is probably my favorite character in the piece; a role of enormous weight and corpulence, and played by a CEO of such immense wealth, such magnificent sex drive, such...let me put it this way: I play the part.

Something with jumping, something with humping,
Something for everyone a vidya tonight!
Something that's racist, something misog'nist,
Something for every Counter Strike...

Racing games and bug hunts,
Strategy and elf cunts,
Leveling and multiplayer,
Good plots many layered,
Paid reviews, school shooting news, new gaming crash, EA grabbing cash,
Dead Space, haste, Tribes, bribes, dragons, wagons, waifus, knife-fu,

No plot grimdark, no sequels worse;
Half-Life finally gets an ending of course.
Morals and speech checks,
A whole board for Shrek,
This time, the story mode's alright,
Go to work tomorrow, vidya, vidya, vidya, vidya, vidya, VIDYA, VIDYA, VIDYA, VIDYAAAA
TONIIIIIGHT!