Video Conversation Evidence

[21:18]  * Faerzen_Norstov gestures in the air briefly to begin her recording software
[21:18] <Faerzen_Norstov> Yes, I just switched them on as well
[21:18] <Faerzen_Norstov> I am simply using them as a computing device at the moment
[21:18] <Lyra_Bel> Perfect
[21:18] <Faerzen_Norstov> Don't pay any attention to them
[21:19] <Lyra_Bel> Now we at least can prove the next time something stupid happens
[21:19] <Faerzen_Norstov> Let's please get back to the previous conversation, Lyra
[21:19] <Lyra_Bel> Sure
[21:19] <Lyra_Bel> Where were we?
[21:19] <Faerzen_Norstov> I brought up the fact that Maskwraith showed up
[21:19] <Lyra_Bel> Right
[21:19] <Faerzen_Norstov> And showed you him murdering your alternate self
[21:19] <Lyra_Bel> Okay
[21:20] <Lyra_Bel> And I was mad because she wasn't in enough pain
[21:20] <Faerzen_Norstov> He is a known mass murderer, thief, and rapist, and he showed you this. And that is what frustrated you the most?
[21:20] <Lyra_Bel> Yeah
[21:20] <Lyra_Bel> I
[21:21] <Lyra_Bel> I was ranting at him, about how much better a job I could have done
[21:21] <Faerzen_Norstov> Why would you want that for your alternate self anyways?
[21:21] <Lyra_Bel> ...
[21:21] <Lyra_Bel> Dunno
[21:22] <Lyra_Bel> Because that's how this game works, I guess
[21:22] <Lyra_Bel> That's how all games work
[21:22] <Faerzen_Norstov> What do you mean?
[21:22] <Faerzen_Norstov> Every game must involve painful demises?
[21:23] <Lyra_Bel> Zero sum
[21:23] <Lyra_Bel> If there's a winner, there's gotta be a loser
[21:23] <Lyra_Bel> And I kinda always envisioned myself as the loser
[21:23] <Faerzen_Norstov> But why were you disappointed, even frustrated, that that negative sum didn't get placed on you?
[21:24] <Faerzen_Norstov> Do you not wish to be on the "winner" side of that trade-off?
[21:24] <Lyra_Bel> Because I want to be the one that gets hurt for it!
[21:25] <Faerzen_Norstov> Is that some sort of self-satisfaction that you want to hurt yourself? What is the motivation behind that?
[21:25] <Lyra_Bel> I don't know
[21:25] <Lyra_Bel> Insanity?
[21:25] <Lyra_Bel> That seems to be the go-to answer for any questions about why I do stuff
[21:25] <Faerzen_Norstov> I'm not sure I would jump so quickly to use that word, Lyra. But I would agree there is a disconnect there.
[21:26] <Faerzen_Norstov> That is why we are talking.
[21:26] <Faerzen_Norstov> To dig deeper into this.
[21:26] <Lyra_Bel> No, that's not the issue
[21:26] <Lyra_Bel> The issue isn't WHY
[21:26] <Lyra_Bel> The issue is WHAT
[21:26] <Lyra_Bel> Quantity of evidence over quality
[21:26] <Lyra_Bel> How else am I deranged?
[21:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> Quite a great many ways, it seems
[21:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> I want to touch on one of those other ways
[21:27] <Lyra_Bel> By all means
[21:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> Digging deeper into this line of thought, this is where I wanted to continue to
[21:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> It seems to me that this thread of self-harm is quite pervasive
[21:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> Not just in this one case of you seeing your own horrifically violent murder
[21:28] <Faerzen_Norstov> You threw yourself out of numerous gates, one after the other
[21:28] <Lyra_Bel> That wasn't about me, though
[21:28] <Faerzen_Norstov> continuously self-inflicting more damage that could have easily been averted
[21:29] <Faerzen_Norstov> You knew you would likely die if you continued as you were
[21:29] <Lyra_Bel> I could have made it!
[21:29] <Faerzen_Norstov> You were lucky Regent stopped you when he did
[21:29] <Faerzen_Norstov> Not from what Regent told me.
[21:29] <Faerzen_Norstov> You came to visit me afterwards
[21:30] <Faerzen_Norstov> And I can personally say you were in incredibly bad shape
[21:30] <Faerzen_Norstov> Even if you had made it, you wouldn't have been in any fit state to help Alex
[21:30] <Regent> *Faerzen*
[21:30] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Yes?*
[21:30] <Regent> *Could you please take me out of the room?*
[21:30] <Lyra_Bel> I...
[21:30] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Yes*
[21:30] <Lyra_Bel> I at least could have been there for him!
[21:31] <Faerzen_Norstov> In your dying moments?
[21:31] <Regent> *I believe I am on the verge of a panic attack*
[21:31] <Faerzen_Norstov> That hardly seems helpful to anyone!
[21:31] <Lyra_Bel> And his, yeah
[21:31] <Faerzen_Norstov> Please pardon me for a moment.
[21:31]  * Faerzen_Norstov walks over to Regent and picks up the crown
[21:31] <Lyra_Bel> Hm?
[21:31] <Regent> The crown is shaking visibly
[21:31]  * Faerzen_Norstov walks outside and sets the crown on top of a gas pump before returning to inside
[21:32] <Lyra_Bel> Again?
[21:32] <Faerzen_Norstov> Please, continue
[21:32] <Lyra_Bel> Bluh
[21:32] <Lyra_Bel> Why does he keep bringing me to these interventions then absconding?
[21:32] <Faerzen_Norstov> Because he cares about you.
[21:32] <Lyra_Bel> Couldn't have at least forced me to take him out?
[21:32] <Faerzen_Norstov> And he hates to see you hurting.
[21:32] <Lyra_Bel> I ain't hurting
[21:33] <Faerzen_Norstov> That is the problem.
[21:33] <Faerzen_Norstov> Your mind and life are so scarred that you aren't hurting at all anymore, even when you should be.
[21:33] <Lyra_Bel> That's not how it works
[21:33] <Lyra_Bel> It's not that "oh you're just so used to it that it doesn't affect you"
[21:33] <Lyra_Bel> I like it.
[21:34] <Lyra_Bel> Okay?
[21:34] <Regent> < It literally is just that though >
[21:34] <Faerzen_Norstov> Case in point.
[21:34] <Faerzen_Norstov> Anyways, let us not continue discussing Regent.
[21:35] <Faerzen_Norstov> If you were Alex, and even if you were dying on the pavement, slowly fading form consciousness
[21:35] <Regent> < Man, poor Regent >
[21:35] <Faerzen_Norstov> Do you really think it would help him to see his friend fall from the sky and kill herself too?
[21:35] <Faerzen_Norstov> I daresay not.
[21:35] <Lyra_Bel> ...
[21:35] <Faerzen_Norstov> That is not being there for him.
[21:35] <Faerzen_Norstov> You said it yourself.
[21:35] <Faerzen_Norstov> You enjoy it.
[21:35] <Lyra_Bel> Then what should I have done?
[21:36] <Faerzen_Norstov> almost anything but that
[21:36] <Lyra_Bel> Forget that I may have killed him and gone on with my day?
[21:36] <Faerzen_Norstov> I am sure if you had taken some time to reasonably and calmly think through things you would have thought of something.
[21:36] <Faerzen_Norstov> You are a smart girl, Lyra
[21:36] <Lyra_Bel> No comment
[21:37] <Faerzen_Norstov> All throughout this game, you have talked about simply throwing yourself off a cliff or performing some equally harmful act just to kill yourself
[21:37] <Regent> *Faerzen hears painful sounding, soul wrenching sobbing from Regent in her head*
[21:37] <Faerzen_Norstov> Not just that gate incident
[21:37] <Lyra_Bel> Because I wanna see what stops it from working
[21:37] <Faerzen_Norstov> Why do you think there must be something?
[21:37] <Lyra_Bel> That's how the game works
[21:38] <Lyra_Bel> Grind you down without QUITE breaking you
[21:38] <Lyra_Bel> Then forcing you to claw your way back up
[21:38] <Lyra_Bel> Just in time for the next disaster
[21:38] <Faerzen_Norstov> The game breaking you and you breaking you are two very different things, Lyra
[21:38] <Lyra_Bel> How so?
[21:39] <Faerzen_Norstov> How are they not? Do you really think you lack that much agency that any action you perform is instead the fault of the game?
[21:39] <Lyra_Bel> Yep
[21:39] <Lyra_Bel> I've been trying to do stuff myself
[21:40] <Lyra_Bel> But then another bombshell gets dropped, the playing field changes, and I gotta focus on the new mess
[21:40] <Faerzen_Norstov> I cannot disagree with that. I have a rather full platter of mess myself. Not that I can say it compares to yours, however.
[21:40] <Faerzen_Norstov> But is that justification for just further self-harm?
[21:41] <Lyra_Bel> It's not pointless
[21:41] <Lyra_Bel> It's... a side effect, let's call it
[21:41] <Lyra_Bel> Of taking that necessary next step
[21:41] <Regent> *The sobbing in Faerzen's head is suddenly cut off entirely*
[21:42]  * Faerzen_Norstov quickly looks outside at the gas pump
[21:42] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Regent?*
[21:42]  * Lyra_Bel follows Faerzen's gaze
[21:42] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Regent?*
[21:42] <Regent> The crown is there as normal, shaking violently
[21:43] <Lyra_Bel> He's talking in your head
[21:43] <Faerzen_Norstov> No, he isn't
[21:43] <Lyra_Bel> Telling you something bad
[21:43] <Faerzen_Norstov> He is suddenly entirely silent
[21:43] <Lyra_Bel> Welp
[21:43] <Faerzen_Norstov> He was crying earlier.
[21:43]  * Lyra_Bel stands up, walks outside, and puts on the crown
[21:44] <Faerzen_Norstov> Lyra, careful! He is not okay right now at all.
[21:44] <Regent> No response vocally from Regent
[21:44] <Lyra_Bel> Who is?
[21:44] <Regent> Just shaking
[21:44] <Lyra_Bel> *Reg?*
[21:44] <Regent> *I don't want to talk to you*
[21:44] <Regent> *Take me off*
[21:45] <Lyra_Bel> *Yeah you do, and no I won't*
[21:45] <Regent> *Give me to Faerzen*
[21:45] <Lyra_Bel> *Make me*
[21:45] <Regent> *Please*
[21:45] <Regent> *I'm really hurting right now*
[21:45] <Faerzen_Norstov> Is he answering you?
[21:45] <Lyra_Bel> Yeah
[21:45] <Regent> *I don't want to upset you, or control you anymore*
[21:45] <Regent> *Please take me off*
[21:45] <Regent> *Please*
[21:46] <Regent> *Please*
[21:46] <Regent> *Please*
[21:46] <Faerzen_Norstov> What is he saying?
[21:46] <Lyra_Bel> *Y'know what the best thing about being a sociopath is?*
[21:46] <Lyra_Bel> *I don't need to care about what you want.  So thanks for that*
[21:46] <Lyra_Bel> Nothing
[21:46] <Regent> *Lyra vomits violently*
[21:46]  * Faerzen_Norstov walks over to Lyra and yanks the crown off of her head, putting it on
[21:46] <Faerzen_Norstov> LIAR.
[21:47] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Regent, are you there?*
[21:47] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Calm down, it's okay, you're on me now*
[21:47] <Regent> *Take me away*
[21:47] <Regent> *It hurts*
[21:47] <Regent> *It hurts so mucj*
[21:47] <Faerzen_Norstov> *I know it does, and I'm sorry*
[21:48] <Faerzen_Norstov> *I am really truly sorry that this sucks so much*
[21:48] <Lyra_Bel> ... Faerzen?
[21:48] <Faerzen_Norstov> *What would you like me to do?*
[21:48] <Faerzen_Norstov> Yes?
[21:48] <Lyra_Bel> You aren't happy either, are you?
[21:48] <Lyra_Bel> You're stuck doing stuff you'd really rather not
[21:48] <Faerzen_Norstov> Why would any of us be happy right now?
[21:48] <Lyra_Bel> And everyone around you is forcing you to keep going
[21:48] <Regent> *Bawling noises inside Faerzen's head*
[21:48] <Lyra_Bel> Because if you don't, things'll go even worse
[21:49] <Faerzen_Norstov> Welcome to my life, Lyra. I just try and learn to deal with it.
[21:49] <Faerzen_Norstov> It seems things always seem to work that way around me.
[21:49] <Faerzen_Norstov> Or at least, I make them work that way.
[21:49] <Faerzen_Norstov> Sometimes, I can't tell which.
[21:49] <Lyra_Bel> Welcome to Sabath
[21:50] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Shhhhh, it'll be okay Reggie. I'm here*
[21:50] <Faerzen_Norstov> Essentially, yes.
[21:50] <Regent> *She's so alone*
[21:50] <Regent> *So alone and its so awful what she has been through*
[21:50] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Yes. Yes, she is, and yes, it is awful*
[21:50] <Lyra_Bel> ... Except no
[21:51] <Lyra_Bel> No, that's not it
[21:51] <Faerzen_Norstov> Hmm?
[21:51] <Lyra_Bel> There's more to it, isn't there?
[21:51] <Lyra_Bel> This isn't Salvation War, there isn't suffering for its own sake
[21:51] <Lyra_Bel> It's like
[21:51] <Lyra_Bel> This whole thing
[21:51] <Lyra_Bel> This... feelings jam, or whatever you wanna call it
[21:52] <Lyra_Bel> It's like the end of the least child-friendly Disney movie ever
[21:52] <Lyra_Bel> Right?
[21:52]  * Faerzen_Norstov smirks
[21:52] <Faerzen_Norstov> That is the most depressingly apt analogy I have heard in quite some time.
[21:52] <Lyra_Bel> No, because it's like
[21:52] <Lyra_Bel> After this whole mess
[21:52] <Faerzen_Norstov> *I don't expect to be able to fix her. I'm done with trying to fix people.*
[21:53] <Lyra_Bel> We're just now getting to actually working stuff out
[21:53] <Faerzen_Norstov> *But what I can do is be here for her*
[21:53] <Lyra_Bel> In one big epiphanic chat shoehorned in right before the finale
[21:53] <Lyra_Bel> Or after, depending on how you interpret our chances
[21:54] <Faerzen_Norstov> I suppose.
[21:54] <Lyra_Bel> But Sabath isn't that bad
[21:54] <Lyra_Bel> Or it is, but the other kind of bad
[21:54] <Faerzen_Norstov> Oh really?
[21:55] <Lyra_Bel> It's not that... lame
[21:55] <Lyra_Bel> Or egregious
[21:55] <Lyra_Bel> Or pathetic
[21:55] <Lyra_Bel> It's BETTER than that
[21:55] <Lyra_Bel> It's a thing, and it's really really good at what it does
[21:55] <Lyra_Bel> Yeah?
[21:55] <Faerzen_Norstov> I can wholeheartedly agree with that statement
[21:55] <Lyra_Bel> But it's bigger than us
[21:56] <Lyra_Bel> We're ants looking at the door mat of a skyscraper
[21:56] <Faerzen_Norstov> It is a whole lot bigger than us. And one of its parts is that it functions as a trial by fire, and damn that fire is hot.
[21:57] <Faerzen_Norstov> I have been digging and digging to learn as much as I can about this game and I am certain I have only scraped the tip of the iceberg.
[21:57] <Regent> *Lyra, I'm sorry*
[21:58] <Lyra_Bel> That can't be it, though
[21:58] <Regent> < That was out loud >
[21:58] <Lyra_Bel> Huh?
[21:58] <Regent> I
[21:58] <Regent> *sniff*
[21:58] <Regent> I should've been better,
[21:58] <Regent> At helping you out
[21:58] <Lyra_Bel> Stop
[21:58] <Lyra_Bel> Stop right now
[21:58] <Regent> You are always so alone
[21:58] <Faerzen_Norstov> Regent, this is in no way your fault
[21:59] <Regent> I could've done better
[21:59] <Regent> I can't even do anything to fix this
[21:59] <Regent> Look at me
[21:59] <Regent> I'm worthless
[21:59] <Faerzen_Norstov> Perhaps, perhaps not, but that doesn't mean any of this is your fault.
[21:59] <Faerzen_Norstov> You can't be expected to fix people!
[22:00] <Regent> All I've accomplished
[22:00] <Regent> Is mercy killing an elderly pony
[22:03] <Lyra_Bel> First of all
[22:04] <Lyra_Bel> Screw you for not listening to me when I said to stop
[22:04] <Lyra_Bel> Second of all, thanks for ignoring me when I said to stop
[22:04] <Regent> Everything I do is worthless...
[22:04] <Lyra_Bel> Third of all, shut up with the worthless talk
[22:04] <Faerzen_Norstov> How can you even say that, Regent?
[22:04] <Lyra_Bel> Because we're all worthless, that's the whole point
[22:04] <Regent> It hurts so much
[22:05] <Lyra_Bel> Fourth of all, I made you kill the pony
[22:05] <Lyra_Bel> FIFTH of all, you saved my life at least twice
[22:05] <Lyra_Bel> So I'm a little offended you prioritized a dying horse over those
[22:05] <Lyra_Bel> Sixth, I ain't lonely
[22:06]  * Regent whimpers in pain
[22:06] <Lyra_Bel> And not just because of the menagerie of voices in my head
[22:07] <Lyra_Bel> This, this thing.  This mental breakdown about how you aren't able to magic away my issues?
[22:07] <Regent> Lyra
[22:07] <Lyra_Bel> Reggie
[22:07] <Regent> You don't know how hurt you are
[22:07] <Lyra_Bel> Fine
[22:07] <Lyra_Bel> How hurt am I?
[22:07] <Regent> I'm like the opposite of a sociopath
[22:08] <Regent> I emphasize very well
[22:08] <Lyra_Bel> Empath
[22:08] <Regent> If you realized how hurt you were
[22:08] <Regent> Your reaction to it would be way worse than what I am feeling right now
[22:08] <Lyra_Bel> Reggie, please listen to me
[22:08] <Lyra_Bel> I'm not hurting right now
[22:09] <Lyra_Bel> Okay?
[22:09] <Regent> Ok
[22:09] <Lyra_Bel> Maybe it's good that I ain't the best at realizing things
[22:09] <Regent> No
[22:09] <Regent> You can't be helped until you realize this
[22:09] <Lyra_Bel> I don't think I need help, though
[22:09] <Regent> I've seen it all before
[22:09] <Regent> Hell
[22:10] <Regent> I've lived it all before
[22:10] <Lyra_Bel> ...
[22:10] <Faerzen_Norstov> That doesn't mean you should be expected to fix it though, Reggie!
[22:10] <Faerzen_Norstov> Saying "I could have done better" is meaningless
[22:10] <Faerzen_Norstov> Because everyone can always say that
[22:10] <Lyra_Bel> It's running away
[22:10] <Regent> What use am I if I can't save her
[22:10] <Faerzen_Norstov> Nobody is perfect and you've done a damn good job of helping Lyra.
[22:11] <Lyra_Bel> Regent, you've kept me from dying at least twice
[22:11] <Faerzen_Norstov> Lyra isn't your sole responsibility to mend all by yourself.
[22:11] <Lyra_Bel> More including all the times the pen helped
[22:11] <Regent> And what have you shown for it?
[22:11] <Regent> more suicidal urges
[22:11] <Lyra_Bel> They aren't suicidal urges!
[22:11] <Regent> You want to die
[22:11] <Faerzen_Norstov> Perhaps we can grow past whatever those are eventually!
[22:11] <Regent> And are willing to
[22:11] <Lyra_Bel> I do not want to die
[22:12] <Regent> Grow past?
[22:12] <Lyra_Bel> Willing, sure, if that's what it takes
[22:12] <Faerzen_Norstov> You can't expect Lyra's entire psyche to be fixed in a mere 6 days
[22:12] <Lyra_Bel> There's nothing wrong with my psyche!
[22:12] <Regent> Grow past?
[22:12] <Regent> Heh, Lyra
[22:12] <Regent> There is
[22:12] <Lyra_Bel> No
[22:12] <Lyra_Bel> Y'know what?
[22:12] <Lyra_Bel> No there's not
[22:12] <Regent> You are depressed and sociopathic
[22:12] <Lyra_Bel> Not depressed
[22:12] <Regent> No?
[22:12] <Lyra_Bel> No
[22:12] <Faerzen_Norstov> Let's not debate this right now.
[22:12] <Regent> Last time you felt happy
[22:12] <Regent> Go
[22:13] <Lyra_Bel> How long do I get to think?
[22:13] <Regent> 10 seconds
[22:13] <Lyra_Bel> The ogre
[22:13] <Regent> What about it?
[22:13] <Lyra_Bel> Killing that ogre in the spider caves?
[22:13] <Lyra_Bel> That felt good
[22:13] <Regent> You know what
[22:13] <Regent> Ignore me
[22:13] <Lyra_Bel> No wait, after that
[22:13] <Regent> I clearly don't know what I'm doing
[22:14] <Lyra_Bel> You know that feeling when a plan comes together?
[22:14] <Regent> Let me just shut up
[22:14] <Lyra_Bel> No, you don't get to do that
[22:14] <Faerzen_Norstov> Reggie, this is the point though. Yes, you see all of these things wrong with Lyra, but you can't at the same time expect yourself to be able to solve every single one of them!
[22:14] <Regent> WHY CANT I?
[22:14] <Faerzen_Norstov> You are placing entirely unreasonable burdens and responsibilities on yourself.
[22:14] <Faerzen_Norstov> Why could you?
[22:14] <Lyra_Bel> Because people aren't perfect!
[22:14] <Faerzen_Norstov> Why could anyone?
[22:14] <Regent> I've been around here forever!
[22:14] <Regent> I know so much!
[22:15] <Faerzen_Norstov> So?
[22:15] <Regent> Why can't I fix her problems
[22:15] <Lyra_Bel> Stewing in misery, reflecting on mistakes
[22:15] <Faerzen_Norstov> You're more effective but that doesn't mean you're perfect
[22:15] <Regent> She deserves that much at least
[22:15] <Regent> All I want
[22:15] <Regent> Is for Lyra to end up ok
[22:15] <Lyra_Bel> I'm going to
[22:15] <Lyra_Bel> Okay?
[22:15] <Faerzen_Norstov> Then the three of us can work together to make that happen.
[22:15] <Faerzen_Norstov> Isn't that what we're trying to do here with this case?
[22:15] <Regent> ...
[22:16] <Lyra_Bel> Regent, listen to me
[22:16] <Regent> Everything hurts
[22:16] <Lyra_Bel> Worst case scenario
[22:16] <Lyra_Bel> We fail, I jump off cliff and die
[22:16] <Lyra_Bel> Right?
[22:16] <Regent> No
[22:16] <Regent> That can't happen
[22:16] <Regent> You can't die
[22:16] <Faerzen_Norstov> Lyra, please!
[22:16] <Regent> No
[22:16] <Regent> No
[22:16] <Regent> No
[22:16] <Regent> No
[22:16] <Lyra_Bel> Course not
[22:16] <Faerzen_Norstov> That is no way to motivate anyone
[22:16] <Regent> No
[22:16] <Lyra_Bel> So what keeps me alive, huh?
[22:16]  * Regent starts muttering
[22:16] <Faerzen_Norstov> Please actually shut up about killing yourself.
[22:17] <Lyra_Bel> SABATH!
[22:17] <Lyra_Bel> Sabath keeps me from dying!
[22:17]  * Regent is shaking again
[22:17] <Lyra_Bel> Keeps me from giving up when everything hurts
[22:17] <Lyra_Bel> RIGHT!?
[22:17] <Regent> NO'
[22:17] <Faerzen_Norstov> NO!
[22:17] <Regent> NO
[22:17]  * Lyra_Bel bursts into laughter
[22:17] <Regent> YOU ARENT RIGHT
[22:17] <Regent> AUGH!!!!!!!!
[22:17] <Lyra_Bel> Oh yes I am
[22:17] <Faerzen_Norstov> You assume this game makes you invincible because it wants you to suffer
[22:17]  * Regent screams in pain
[22:17] <Lyra_Bel> What I was saying before
[22:17] <Faerzen_Norstov> That's not how this works.
[22:17] <Lyra_Bel> I ain't suffering!
[22:18] <Lyra_Bel> It's a Disney movie
[22:18] <Regent> you
[22:18] <Regent> you are
[22:18] <Lyra_Bel> Needs to end with an epiphany
[22:18] <Regent> Faerzen
[22:18] <Lyra_Bel> Happy ever after
[22:18] <Regent> Please
[22:18] <Faerzen_Norstov> You might not feel like you are suffering, but the rest of us are, I can assure you that.
[22:18] <Regent> Take me far away
[22:18] <Regent> Let me forget everything
[22:18] <Lyra_Bel> Stop running and listen to me!
[22:18] <Regent> It hurts so much
[22:18] <Lyra_Bel> Life lessons, right!?
[22:19] <Lyra_Bel> Happy endings?
[22:19] <Faerzen_Norstov> You're not teaching anyone life lessons, Lyra!
[22:19] <Lyra_Bel> I'm not
[22:19] <Lyra_Bel> Sabath is
[22:19] <Regent> It hurts
[22:19] <Lyra_Bel> Stop arguing and just LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING!
[22:19] <Faerzen_Norstov> YOU'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING
[22:19]  * Lyra_Bel takes a deep breath
[22:19]  * Regent whimpers
[22:19] <Lyra_Bel> Four apocalypses
[22:19] <Lyra_Bel> The universe splintering apart
[22:20] <Lyra_Bel> New worlds, reproducing everything
[22:20] <Lyra_Bel> Solving entropy
[22:20] <Lyra_Bel> You were wrong, before
[22:20] <Lyra_Bel> We aren't defending them
[22:20] <Lyra_Bel> We're raising them
[22:20] <Faerzen_Norstov> Those are equivalent
[22:20] <Lyra_Bel> They're close
[22:20] <Regent> *Help*
[22:21] <Regent> *Please*
[22:21] <Lyra_Bel> Happily ever after
[22:21] <Regent> *Help*
[22:21] <Lyra_Bel> The rule isn't uncertainty
[22:21] <Lyra_Bel> I was wrong about that
[22:21] <Lyra_Bel> I was wrong about a lot of stuff, but now I get it
[22:21] <Lyra_Bel> The rule is LEARNING
[22:22] <Lyra_Bel> You can't get complacent
[22:22] <Lyra_Bel> Not because it's trying to break us down, but because it's trying to build us up!
[22:22] <Lyra_Bel> Because there's more to learn, and it isn't letting us give up
[22:22] <Faerzen_Norstov> This is similar to what I was saying before
[22:22] <Lyra_Bel> This isn't Salvation War, there is no suffering for its own sake
[22:22] <Lyra_Bel> Power through the pain, right?
[22:23] <Regent> *Faerzen*
[22:23] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Yes?*
[22:23] <Regent> *It hurts so much*
[22:23] <Lyra_Bel> When things are done, when we've made it past every issue
[22:23] <Lyra_Bel> We'll be... ideal
[22:23] <Regent> *I can't think*
[22:23] <Lyra_Bel> No more self-deprecation, or anger issues, or sociopathy
[22:23] <Faerzen_Norstov> *Yes it does. What do you expect me to do about it?*
[22:23] <Faerzen_Norstov> *I can't change the fact that it hurts*
[22:23] <Lyra_Bel> Sabath isn't breaking us
[22:23] <Lyra_Bel> It's fixing us
[22:24]  * Regent whimpers and moans
[22:24] <Faerzen_Norstov> Or
[22:24] <Faerzen_Norstov> Alternatively, it is also forcing us to fix ourselves
[22:24] <Faerzen_Norstov> or else we are all doomed
[22:24] <Lyra_Bel> Same thing, functionally
[22:24] <Lyra_Bel> Except we aren't allowed to die, right?
[22:24] <Faerzen_Norstov> No
[22:24] <Faerzen_Norstov> Failure is always an option
[22:24] <Faerzen_Norstov> Nothing says this seed has to bloom
[22:25] <Faerzen_Norstov> We can simply... lose
[22:25] <Lyra_Bel> I'm gonna disagree with you there
[22:25] <Faerzen_Norstov> There is nothing in this game that forces us to win
[22:25]  * Regent buries itself into Faerzen's chest
[22:25] <Faerzen_Norstov> That isn't a game at all
[22:25] <Lyra_Bel> What if I told you I've seen the future?
[22:25] <Regent> < I mean like cuddling, not violent stabbing >
[22:25] <Faerzen_Norstov> What if I told you you don't know what future you saw?
[22:26] <Lyra_Bel> I probably wouldn't care!
[22:26] <Faerzen_Norstov> That was *a* future
[22:26] <Lyra_Bel> In at least one alternate timeline, we won
[22:26] <Faerzen_Norstov> All you know is it is possible to win
[22:26] <Lyra_Bel> It's possible!
[22:26] <Faerzen_Norstov> But not inevitable
[22:26] <Lyra_Bel> But the rules aren't trying to screw us over anymore
[22:26] <Lyra_Bel> Or they never were, really
[22:26]  * Regent is silent
[22:26] <Lyra_Bel> It's like...
[22:26] <Faerzen_Norstov> This is what I was trying to tell you earlier!
[22:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> It is a test. A trial
[22:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> Designed to be hard but winnable
[22:27] <Lyra_Bel> Then you suck at explaining things
[22:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> No
[22:27] <Lyra_Bel> Because this is new information to me
[22:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> You suck at listening and understanding things
[22:27] <Lyra_Bel> That too
[22:27] <Faerzen_Norstov> Especially when you're mad
[22:27] <Lyra_Bel> Granted
[22:27] <Lyra_Bel> You're absolutely correct
[22:28] <Lyra_Bel> But
[22:28] <Faerzen_Norstov> This is what I was saying before, and you refused to believe me.
[22:28] <Faerzen_Norstov> You were quite adamant.
[22:28] <Faerzen_Norstov> I am glad Maskwraith showed you what he did.
[22:28]  * Regent all at once fills Lyra to the brim with a sense of calm
[22:28] <Lyra_Bel> I was being...
[22:28]  * Lyra_Bel smiles
[22:28] <Faerzen_Norstov> That you now actually understand fully that the game is winnable
[22:28] <Lyra_Bel> Not just winnable
[22:28] <Faerzen_Norstov> and not just a foolish hope that I tried to instill in you
[22:29] <Lyra_Bel> Way more than "winnable"
[22:29] <Lyra_Bel> Thank you, Reggie
[22:29]  * Regent doesn't respond
[22:29] <Lyra_Bel> Reggie
[22:30] <Regent> Please stop fighting
[22:30] <Regent> I can't listen to this
[22:30] <Lyra_Bel> We aren't fighting
[22:30] <Regent> I need help
[22:30] <Lyra_Bel> Don't we all?
[22:31] <Faerzen_Norstov> I can't argue with that.
[22:31] <Regent> Not all of us are in extreme emotional pain
[22:31] <Faerzen_Norstov> I also can't argue with that.
[22:31] <Lyra_Bel> You're an empath
[22:31] <Lyra_Bel> Shouldn't you be picking up the happiness, then?
[22:31] <Regent> No
[22:31] <Regent> I've been a part of you
[22:32] <Regent> I know exactly how much you are hurting without realizing it
[22:32] <Regent> All of that pain you aren't feeling
[22:32] <Lyra_Bel> I'm smiling, Reg
[22:32] <Regent> Is redirected to me
[22:32] <Lyra_Bel> For real this time
[22:32] <Regent> That's nice Lyra
[22:32] <Lyra_Bel> Stop absorbing my pain.  Give it back
[22:32] <Regent> No
[22:33] <Lyra_Bel> Please
[22:33] <Regent> No
[22:33] <Regent> You don't deserve it
[22:33] <Regent> Nobody does
[22:33] <Faerzen_Norstov> You don't deserve it either, Reggie
[22:33] <Regent> No, I don't
[22:33] <Regent> I won't let Lyra endure this
[22:34] <Lyra_Bel> This is emotional pain we're talking, right?
[22:34] <Lyra_Bel> Just to be clear
[22:34] <Regent> Yes
[22:34] <Lyra_Bel> Then share some
[22:34] <Lyra_Bel> Give back half
[22:34] <Regent> No
[22:34] <Regent> No
[22:34] <Faerzen_Norstov> I'm not sure I follow.
[22:34] <Regent> It doesn't work like that
[22:34] <Regent> You don't understand
[22:34] <Lyra_Bel> Of course I don't
[22:34] <Lyra_Bel> And that bothers me
[22:34] <Lyra_Bel> Which gets redirected to you
[22:34] <Lyra_Bel> You're in a feedback loop
[22:35] <Regent> It also doesn't work like that
[22:35] <Lyra_Bel> Oh
[22:35] <Lyra_Bel> Then how does it work?
[22:35] <Regent> Let me just talk to Faerzen alone, ok
[22:35] <Regent> Please
[22:35] <Regent> We can talk about this later
[22:35] <Lyra_Bel> Will we?
[22:35] <Regent> I just...
[22:35] <Regent> Can't be near you right now
[22:35] <Lyra_Bel> Promise me we'll talk later
[22:35] <Regent> I do