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- > I look closely at myself in the mirror.
- > A unicorn wearing a hoodie and jeans stares back at me.
- > "These clothes sure are uncomfortable, Rarity."
- "That's just because you aren't used to them, darling. You see humans wear these all the time."
- > I turn around and frown at how tightly the jeans hug my flank.
- > "Are you sure this is going to work?"
- "Of course, my dear Twilight. Trust me. You'll blend right in."
- > "That's not what I meant. An illusion spell is enough to fool regular humans-"
- "But you need something to disguise yourself from 'him'."
- > "Huh? B-But how did you-"
- "Oh please! It's written all over your face. Even Pinkie knows."
- > At those words, Pinkie Pie bursts into the room.
- "Ooo-is-that-the-secret-disguise-you-asked-Rarity-to-make-for-your-secret-mission-to-spy-on-our-apartment-manager-on-his-day-off!?"
- > I plant my hoof upon my face. Was I that obvious?
- > "Look. I'm not spying, alright? I'm just going to observe his regular activities and behavior without his knowledge or consent."
- "So you're SUPER-spying, then?" says Pinkie. "That sounds really fun! Can I come? Can I? Can I? I'll even wear my SUPER spy costume!"
- > "Thanks a lot, Pinkie, but you should really stay here with the others."
- "Oh, wait! I can be the detective, too!"
- > She pulls out a detective hat and pipe out of nowhere and puts them on.
- "Private Pony Investigator Pinkie Pie is on the case! PPIPP for short!"
- > Rarity giggles, clearly amused. I turn to Pinkie and shake my head.
- > "No, Pinkie! Just, no! No following us, alright?"
- "Aww! But I wanna come!"
- > "Why don't you stay here and help Rarity with her work instead?"
- "Wow! That's sounds like a great idea! Yay!"
- "B-But Twilight, wait!" says Rarity. "I'm sure that Pinkie has much better things to do with her time! I can't possibly-"
- "I'm free for the whole day!" cries Pinkie. "Isn't that great!?"
- "The whole day. That's uh... great."
- > Rarity gives me a dirty look as I leave.
- > Well, I'm sure everything will be alright.
- ---
- > "Hey, Fluttershy!"
- > She jumps a bit in surprise.
- "Oh! H-Hi there, Twilight."
- > I point my hoof at her saddlebag.
- > "Are you going out too?"
- "Umm, yes. Is that alright?"
- > "Of course it is! Where are you headed?"
- "My favorite place - the nearby kindergarten."
- > "The kindergarten? Wait, what!?"
- "Oh you have to see that place, Twilight!"
- > "Uh, Fluttershy?"
- "There are so many cute little humans there!"
- > "Fluttershy?"
- "I can just spend the whole day watching them!"
- > "Fluttershy!"
- "Sometimes, I just want to take them home with me~"
- > "FLUTTERSHY!?"
- "Eep!"
- > She cowers and hides her face behind her bangs.
- > I shake my head and lower my voice.
- > "We talked about this, remember?"
- "I-I know, Twilight, but-"
- > "No inviting them home. No offering them candy. No human-napping, alright?"
- "B-But maybe just one or two would be fine for a little while-"
- > "Fluttershy! No taking little humans home! And that's final!"
- > She lowers her head sadly.
- "I-It should be alright to just watch them? Right?"
- > I sigh loudly. I just know I'm going to regret this.
- > "Fine. You can watch but don't spend more than two hours hanging around there. The humans might get suspicious."
- > Fluttershy gives me a big hug.
- "Oh, thank you Twilight! Thank you! Thank you!"
- > "Yeah, great. By the way, have you seen the manager anywhere around here?"
- > She points a hoof toward the gate.
- "He left a few minutes ago. He said that he's headed to the park."
- ---
- > "The subject arrives at the park without incident."
- > "The subject remains unaware of my presence in the bushes."
- > I dip my pen into an ink bottle as I continue writing notes.
- > "The subject is wearing a set of casual human wear, not uncommon for their species. It suits the subject surprisingly well."
- > I poke my head out of the bushes to confirm his location.
- > "The subject has taken a seat on a nearby bench. The subject is sitting in the usual human manner, seemingly relaxed."
- > I continue watching closely. This is going to be easier than I thought.
- > "The subject is taking a glance at the park clock nearby. The subject seems to be waiting for something."
- > "The subject may consider purchasing a watch to monitor time more easily in the future. Noting this as a future gift reference."
- > "A number of other humans are walking leisurely around the area. They seem to enjoy the atmosphere of the park."
- > "Most of them are walking in pairs, mostly male/female. The humans converse about various topics with their partners."
- > "The subject watches the other humans as they enter the area. The other humans pay no heed. Perhaps the subject is looking for company?"
- > I pause for a moment.
- > "While it is tempting to approach the subject and confirm this theory, I must remain hidden and monitor his activities from a safe distance."
- > I quickly shake my head. Stay focused, Twilight!
- > "The subject has started watching the clouds. Today's sky is perfect for cloud-viewing."
- > Huh? One of the humans seems to be approaching him.
- > I quickly jot down more notes as I watch.
- > "An unidentified female human comes in close proximity to the subject. She waves at him with her hand and smiles."
- > "The subject notices the female's presence and returns the gesture. The subject exhibits familiarity with the newcomer."
- "Did you wait long?" says the girl.
- "Just a few minutes. Don't worry about it."
- > I narrow my eyes at this unexpected development.
- ---
- > "The female is wearing a one piece dress that unnecessarily accentuates the curves along her chest and waist."
- > "The female is also wearing a hat that would be fairly 'cute', even by pony standards. Also unnecessary."
- > "By the reactions of a few other humans walking by, the female seems to be unnecessarily attractive overall."
- > "And when the subject offers his hand, the female blushes unnecessarily as she takes it."
- > I grit my teeth before continuing my notes.
- > "The subject and the female start walking through the park."
- > "The subject seems unusually enthusiastic."
- > "Could the female human be the cause of this?"
- > I pause thoughtfully. This requires some annotations.
- > "Objectively speaking, the subject should consider the company of his pony tenants first if he needs somep0ny to talk to."
- > "And among them, the purple unicorn should be his first choice, as she is the most knowledgeable of human history and culture."
- > "She has read about a number of human leisure activities that we can enjoy while 'hanging out' together, as they call it."
- > "There is little reason or need for the subject to stray away from such pleasant company."
- > I frown for a moment.
- > "I shall continue observing from a distance, lest they notice my presence."
- > "I do not yet understand the meaning or relevance for their meeting."
- > "But I am definitely going to find out."
- > Definitely.
- ---
- > "The subject and the unknown female have entered a cafe together."
- > "I position myself at a table nearby to continue observing."
- > "From this distance, I cannot hear their conversation very well."
- > "Perhaps I should try a transformation spell and-"
- > My writing is interrupted by the sound of someperson clearing their throat.
- "What are you having, Miss?"
- > I turn to see a human waitress beside my table.
- > She seems to have been there for a while.
- > I feel myself blush as I put down my notes.
- > "Oh, right! Let me see..."
- > I take a couple of minutes to scan the menu for something without meat.
- > These humans sure enjoy eating meat. Ugh.
- > Despite my time here, that fact still makes me uneasy.
- > "I'll have the blueberry pancakes and a glass of orange juice."
- "Blueberry pancakes and a glass of OJ. Anything else?"
- > "That'll be all, thank you."
- > The waitress nods and heads to the counter to relay my order.
- > I pull out my notes and start watching the other table again.
- > "Both the subject and the female have started talking."
- > "They seem very comfortable with each other, much like good friends."
- > "The female seems especially happy as they converse. Too happy, even."
- > "But the subject seems oblivious to her subtle advances."
- > "Instead, the subject seems more interested in the food before him."
- > "The subject greedily devours several strips of pig bacon and eggs."
- > "While anyp0ny would normally cringe at this act of barbarism,"
- > "I have come to understand that the consumption of meat is normal here."
- > "Much like dragons and griffons, meat is a part of the human diet."
- > I pause for a moment and watch as he orders a second plate of pig bacon.
- "Here's your order, Miss."
- > "Oh, thank you!"
- > Come to think of it, he never eats meat back at home.
- > Probably because we never serve meat, of course.
- > And not once did he mention the lack of meat.
- > Was he holding himself back for our sake?
- ---
- > "Pancakes in this cafe are really good! I take my time and enjoy each bite."
- > "The softness and fluffiness of the pancake combined with the sweetness of fresh blueberry is just incredible!"
- > "Pinkie Pie was right when she said that humans make great food."
- > "I wonder if humans do anything special with their recipes."
- > "But I digress! As I write, the subject and the female finish eating."
- > "The female excuses herself and heads for the restroom."
- > "The subject slouches a bit, looking satisfied."
- > "However, that posture doesn't look proper at all."
- > "According to my research, humans should stand up straight at the table."
- > "I must remember to remind the subject of the proper way for humans to sit."
- > I pause in my note-taking to quickly finish my meal.
- > After paying the bill, I stay seated and watch as the female returns.
- > The two of them soon step out of the cafe together.
- > "..."
- > Together, huh?
- > Seems like they have more plans for today.
- > After waiting for a minute, I get up to follow them.
- *bump*
- > "Oops! Sorry about that."
- "Hey, watch it! I'm in a hurry!"
- > The male human frowns at me. He looks fairly irritated about something.
- > But before I can say anything, he quickly hurries out of the cafe.
- > I never could understand why these city humans are always rushing.
- > And speaking of rushing, I need to catch up with those two!
- > Stay focused, Twilight!
- ---
- > "One ticket, please."
- "..."
- > The man at the booth gives me a puzzled look.
- > I wait patiently for him to speak.
- "Are you sure you only need one?"
- > "Yes. Only one ticket, please."
- "What a waste. Here you go, Miss."
- > "Thank you very much. What do you mean a waste?"
- "A cute young girl like you shouldn't be going to the movies alone."
- > "Oh, don't be silly! A plain-looking pon-er-person like me?"
- > I laugh lightly before trotting off. What a silly idea!
- > As if a bookworm like me would ever be considered 'cute'.
- > Besides, I don't need to go on dates and things like that.
- > I've done more than enough research into the subject, after all.
- "Your ticket, Miss?"
- > "Here."
- > The man by the entrance tears off the stub and waves for me to enter.
- > Inside, I am quickly engulfed by the pitch-black darkness of the theater.
- > I barely stop myself from casting an illumination spell.
- > Instead, I wait for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
- > I wander around for a while until I find the two humans.
- > They are sitting beside each other near the center of the theater.
- > Very quietly, I sneak by and position myself a couple of seats away.
- > This time, I manage to hear part of their conversation.
- "I've really been looking forward to this movie," says the girl.
- "Same here," says the subject. "I heard that this adaptation is fairly good."
- "I haven't read the book yet, so no spoilers, y'hear?"
- "Fine. Guess I shouldn't mention that the wizard is really the- OW!"
- "It's not nice to tease girls. Be nice."
- "Alright, fine! Just stop pinching me! OW! Now what was that for?"
- "Because you were thinking of something else while a cute girl is right here beside you."
- "I was not! I swear! What would make you think-"
- "Hush! The movie is starting!"
- ---
- > "The subject and the female both turn their attention to the movie as it starts."
- > "Both of them say nothing, only opening their mouths to munch on popcorn."
- > "I didn't get any popcorn because I thought the sound might expose me."
- > "But now, I kinda regret not buying any. Maybe I'll get some afterward."
- > After making a quick diagram of the theater, I sit down and relax.
- > Might as well enjoy the movie. I'm sure that Princess Celestia would love a report on human cinema.
- > After the introduction, I get the gist of the plot.
- > I decide to take down notes, for future reference.
- > "A number of short but stocky humans called dwarves seek to recover a treasure guarded by a dragon."
- > "They are accompanied by a magic-using human called a wizard on this quest."
- > "And for some strange reason, a tiny human called a hobbit joins them."
- > "The story is fairly interesting, and I notice similarities to the tales and legends of ancient Equestria."
- > "The dwarves are strong and tough, like earth ponies."
- > "The elves have magic and wisdom, like unicorns."
- > "Perhaps all that was missing were humans that could fly, like pegasi."
- > "I especially liked the wizard character. He acted like a guardian of sorts."
- > "In fact, the wizard should be the leader, not that grumpy dwarf character!"
- > "Why won't anyp0ny listen to the wizard? Isn't it clear that he knows what's up?"
- ---
- > Before I realize it, I find myself engrossed in the film.
- > I continue taking down several pages worth of notes.
- > Then, a certain scene stops me from writing.
- "Why did you come?" asks the dwarf leader.
- "I know you doubt me," says the hobbit. "I know you always have, and you're right..."
- > The theater falls silent. Only the voice of the tiny human could be heard.
- "I miss my books, and my arm chair, and my garden."
- > The library. My books. Spike and Owlowiscious. I miss them all.
- "See, that's where I belong; that's home,"
- > Yes. Ponyville is my home.
- "And that's why I came - cause you don't have one.. a home."
- > "..."
- "It was taken from you, but I will help you take it back if I can."
- > I glanced at the two humans seated in front. The subject, in particular.
- > To my surprise, he looked confused as tears rolled down his cheeks.
- > And equally surprising was that I had begun weeping as well.
- > I knew it was impossible, but for a fleeting moment,
- > I hoped that he remembered.
- ---
- > "Huh? It's already over? We didn't even get to see the dragon!"
- > "And why did they split the adaptation into three different movies?"
- > "This is an outrage! How do humans get away with films like this?"
- > "And what is with writers and cliff hangers nowadays? Geez!"
- > As I note down more reasons why they should release all three parts at once,
- > I hear similar complaints from the girl up front.
- "What do you mean it's only the first part!?" cries the female.
- "Well," says the subject. "They did mention that they plan to make three movies."
- "Those producers just want to cash in on the fans like me!"
- "Uh, since when were you a fan?"
- "Since today, damn it! I'll definitely post my opinions on the Internet later!"
- "Right. That'll sure show them, OW! Quit pinching me!"
- "And that's for being a smartass! Hmph!"
- > Smartass? But he's a human, not a donkey! I giggle quietly.
- > This female needs to review a dictionary. She does not seem very intelligent.
- > Unfortunately, the subject isn't that sharp, either.
- > Why didn't he just ask us ponies to accompany him today?
- > We would definitely make better company that this human female.
- "Anyway, let's go for some lunch," says the girl. "I know just the place."
- ---
- "Eh? We aren't done yet?"
- "Of course not! The night is young!"
- "It's almost noontime."
- "Shut up! Let's just go, alright!"
- > I quickly put on my hood as they get up and head to the aisle.
- > Neither of them notice my presence. I watch as they make for the exit.
- > I wait for a few moments before following. Can't be too careful.
- *bump*
- "Hey! Watch it lady! Are you blind or something?"
- > "Oh! I didn't see you back there!"
- > The male human grimaces as he tries to step around me.
- "Uh, whatever! Could you just move? I might lose them!"
- > "My apologies! If you lost something, maybe I can help?"
- > Huh? Didn't I already bump into this person earlier?
- "Forget it! Just get out of my way already!"
- > Before I can say anything, he shoves me to the side.
- > How rude! If I wasn't trying to hide my identity as unicorn, I would-
- > UGH! I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
- > "Relax, Twilight. You aren't in Ponyville, anymore."
- ---
- "What are you having, Miss?"
- > "I'll have the pasta with pesto sauce and an iced tea, please."
- > The human waiter nods and leaves. I quickly pull out my notes.
- > "The subject and the female have entered a pizza and pasta restaurant for lunch."
- > "Human pasta seems to be made with regular flour, which is a relief."
- > "And this restaurant seems to have a number of dishes that have no meat."
- > "I have taken note of the address of this establishment for future use."
- "Are you sure you can eat all that?"
- > The voice of the female catches my attention. I quickly perk my ears to listen.
- > "And for the record, this isn't eavesdropping," I note down. "This is for science."
- "I think I can manage," says the subject.
- "A sausage and pepperoni pizza AND spaghetti and meatballs?" she asks.
- "Well, I don't get to eat much meat at home."
- "Oh, I see. Nevermind, then."
- > The female pauses for a moment before changing the subject.
- "How's that new job treating you? I never see you around the university anymore."
- "It's fine. Doing something new is a good change of pace."
- "Heh, I never saw you as an apartment manager before."
- "Neither did I. The university didn't seem to require my services anymore."
- "What a shame. But all's well that ends well, right?"
- "What do you mean?"
- "You seem a lot happier now. Surely, you've noticed?"
- "Er, not really."
- "Heh. That part of you hasn't changed at all."
- > My order arrives. I thank the waiter and start on the pasta.
- > It's good! I quickly take another bite as I listen to the two.
- > Their orders arrive as well. The subject quickly devours his food.
- > The girl laughs as she watches him eat.
- "My, my," she says. "Do watch your manners in front of a lady."
- > Then, without warning, she says something that makes both of us choke.
- "This is a date, after all."
- ---
- > I quickly cough my pasta into a napkin. Somehow, I manage not to spill any.
- > No one notices, as the subject is doing much worse.
- > His face is turning blue, and he doesn't look like he can breathe.
- > Some of his spaghetti comes out his nose as he chokes.
- > I stand up to assist, but before I can do anything,
- > The girl giggles a bit and punches him in the stomach.
- > A large meatball speeds out of his throat and into the wall.
- "T-Thanks," he mutters weakly.
- "Anytime," says the female.
- > The subject takes a couple of minutes to recover.
- > One of the staff comes to clean up the mess.
- "Sorry about that," says the girl. "You sure you're okay?"
- "Yeah, it's fine. Don't worry about it."
- > I watch and listen closely as they finish their meal.
- > Neither of them say anything other than mundane small talk.
- > They pay for the meal and quickly leave the restaurant.
- > I motion at the waiter to bring the bill.
- "Er, Miss? Are you sure that you're finished eating."
- > I glance at my unfinished food and drink.
- > For some reason, I seem to have lost my appetite.
- > "Sorry, but I really need to go."
- "Alright. Have a good day, Miss."
- > After paying for the meal, I quickly follow after the two.
- > They head inside a public aquarium a few blocks away.
- > I recall reading about this place in magazines.
- > This is a popular place for human couples.
- ---
- > A part of me just wants to gallop back home and be left alone.
- > Another part of me wants to trot over and smack him on the face.
- > And yet another part of me is saying "Are you crazy!?" to the other two.
- > Somehow, I settle on following a short distance behind them.
- > I mean, who cares about who he has a relationship with?
- > That's none of my business, after all! And besides,
- > He's a human, and I'm a pony! It would never work out!
- > Wait, a second. What wouldn't work out, exactly?
- > Crazy thoughts! Go away, crazy thoughts! Argh!
- > I pull out my notes and turn my attention toward the two.
- "I just love the aquarium!" says the girl. "This place really calms me down."
- "Yeah, I suppose."
- "Hey! What's with the lack of energy all of a sudden?"
- "Huh? Lack of energy?"
- "You should be a lot more excited with having such a cute girl with you!"
- > Suddenly, the girl grabs the subject's shoulders and presses herself against him.
- > I cannot explain why, but an unexplainable fury builds up inside me.
- > Before I can think, I feel magic flowing up my horn.
- > "Now you've just..."
- "...gone too far!"
- > Another male human cries out. Isn't he the same guy I keep bumping into?
- > He runs up to the two angrily. The girl lets go of the subject and frowns at the newcomer.
- "I thought I told you that it's over between us?" she says.
- "But I love you!" says the other male. "I can't even imagine life without-"
- "H-Huh? What's going on-" says the subject.
- "Oh shut up, both of you."
- > With one swift motion, the girl pulls the subject close,
- > And gives him a long, deep kiss upon his lips.
- ---
- > Droplets of water begin to fall from the gray clouds above.
- > The humans on the street rush off to find shelter indoors.
- > My hoodie offers little protection as the downpour grows stronger.
- > But I pay it no head as I make my way back to the apartment building.
- *sniff*
- > Even with my hood on, I feel tiny streams of fluid drip down my cheeks.
- > My chest continues to ache, and the tears haven't stopped.
- > This doesn't make any sense. Why do I feel this way?
- > I don't understand! Why won't the tears stop?
- *sniff*
- > And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse.
- > I carelessly slip on my hooves and fall painfully on my flank.
- > The dirty rainwater seeps through my clothes. Some of it gets into my mouth.
- > "Oh Celestia, why!?"
- *sniff*
- > What am I doing? Why did I even come here?
- > A special assignment from the Princess?
- > Stop lying to yourself, Twilight!
- > You came because you thought this was your chance.
- *sniff*
- > A chance to start over. A chance to make things right.
- > But that was nothing but a foolish filly's dream!
- > This is the real world - harsh and cruel!
- > And you need to learn, Twilight,
- *sniff*
- > That there are things even magic can't fix.
- > And that you'll be all alone, in the end,
- > Just as you deserve to be.
- > "Because this is all my fault..."
- ---
- "Twilight?"
- > The rain stops pouring. Or so I thought. I look up slowly.
- > A familiar human is holding an umbrella over my head.
- "What are you doing here!?"
- > "I, uh, slipped."
- > He is the last person I want to meet, especially now.
- > But before I can argue, he takes off his jacket and drapes it around my back.
- "Keep yourself warm. You might get sick from this rain."
- > "T-Thank you."
- "And hold these for a while."
- > He hands me the umbrella and a small package.
- > "What's in this thing?"
- "Just a little something from today's errand."
- > "An errand. W-wait! What are you-"
- > He suddenly grabs me and carries me in his arms, princess-style.
- "You look like you hurt your leg, so let me carry you home."
- > I open my mouth to argue, but I realize that he's right.
- > There is a scratch on my leg that stings quite a bit.
- > I make a mental note to disinfect it when we get back.
- > "Alright, I guess. But don't make a habit of this!"
- "Of course not."
- > He starts walking back home while I hold up the umbrella.
- > A few minutes pass. Only the sound of the rain can be heard.
- > This isn't fair! There are so many things I want to ask him,
- > Yet, I can't! Not without telling him that I followed them all day!
- "..."
- > Eventually, fatigue takes over. I yawn and close my eyes.
- > I lean my head against his chest and fall asleep listening to his heartbeat.
- ---
- > After a hot shower, I head to the dining room.
- > The girls have a good long talk about their day,
- > But the apartment manager stays strangely silent.
- > And after dinner, he pulls me aside.
- "Here," he says. "This is for you."
- > He hands me the small package from earlier.
- "Just a little something to say thank you."
- > "Thank you? For what?"
- "A job, for starters. I was in a real bad situation before we met."
- > He turns away and smiles sadly.
- "I was seriously depressed back then, and I even considered suicide."
- > "Suicide? But that's crazy!"
- "Yes, it is. You might have just saved my life at that time."
- > Not knowing what else to say, I decide to open the package.
- > My eyes widen as I realize what this is.
- > "A library card? T-To the university library?"
- "That's right. I even had your name registered and everything."
- > "H-How did you get this?"
- "The university librarian is an old friend of mine."
- > "But don't you have to be a student to borrow books?"
- "Well, I did promise to do her a big favor today in exchange for it."
- > He sighs and plants his palm upon his forehead.
- "Can you believe that I had to pretend to be her boyfriend?"
- > I force a smile as best as I can.
- > "N-Not at all! Who would have imagined, huh?"
- ---
- "Dear Princess Celestia,"
- "Today, I learned that it's easy to misunderstand our friends,"
- "Especially because they mean so much to us."
- "We feel hurt or betrayed because of the simplest things,"
- "But despite that, we should always be ready to listen,"
- "Because every friend deserves a second chance."
- "Your faithful student,"
- "Twilight Sparkle"
- > After writing that letter, I decide to strengthen my resolve.
- > There are definitely a lot of things in this world that I can't change.
- > Even magic has its limits. And on Earth, even more so.
- > But that doesn't mean that I should give up.
- > That just means I have to study even harder,
- > And try my best without any regrets.
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