Advertisement: Dormouse Daki

Surfing the countless channels (even with the human no-porn surfing mode enabled), you chance upon an advertisement that catches your eye:

A weresheep stands in a sort of cut-off woman's business suit cut very short at the arms and legs to allow for her natural fur to show through. In the backdrop of a small, homely bedroom with a queen sized bed. Behind her is a gruff, ragged looking man tossing and turning beneath the covers.

"Tired of going home to a cold, empty bed? Do you or a loved one need something to cuddle at night, but a dakimakura just isn't cutting it? Or just suffer from insomnia, but don't like the side effects of modern medication? Well, we at the E-Z-Sleep Inc. Ltd. Co. have just the solution for you!"

The weresheep walks to her right, passing out of the staged studio bedroom and into a massive playpen with a large assortment of toys one might expect to see in kindergarten or daycare. Inside, at least two douzen Dormice girls, from toddlers to teenagers all sleep on surrounding one another, as if huddled together for warmth.

"With one of the highest birthrates among mammalian monster girls, there are Dormouse families who cannot afford to raise multiple litters, and are forced to put their children up for adoption. Both this, and your sleeping problems, can be solved with our patented E-Z-Sleep Inc. Ltd. Co. programme!"

A curtain with the company logo falls behind her, replacing the backdrop of napping Dormice girls. She spreads her arms and excitedly proclaims, "The Adopt-A-Daki Initiative! Working in partnership with MGC adoption agencies, you can now adopt your very own Dormouse girl! It's like a Daki, but much better!"

A sleepy-looking Dormouse girl, about ten or so, wanders onto screen rubbing her eyes. The weresheep swoops her up in her arms amd smiles. "Imagine a dakimakura that self-heats, self-cleans, and cuddles you back!"

The weresheep nuzzles the drowsy girl, who returns the affection slightly, even though it appears she's already fallen asleep. "Not only that, they have a build-in homing function! Fall alseep on the couch? She'll come join you and even bring you a blanket! And they're not just comfy! Studies have shown Dormice emit low-level demonic energy which induces sleep in nearby individuals, so you can be guaranteed a good night's rest no matter what problems ail you, be they irritating Nightmares haunting your dreams, or health-related issues preventing a good night's sleep!"

She hands the sleeping Dormouse off to what you assume is an off-camera staff member before the backdrop lifts up to once again reveal the sleeping Dormice girls. "And if that isn't enough, you know you'll sleep better knowing that you helped give an adorable but lonely little Dormouse without a family or husbandu the love and cuddles she deserves!"

"For a nominal fee of $39.99, we can offer an accelerated adoption program that will have your girl with within 24 hours, with no additional delivery fee! But wait, there's more!" The weresheep walks further to the right, revealing a call center of sorts bustling with activity. "Order now, and we'll waive our $9.99 match-making fee! That's right, even if you're not looking for a wife, this service can be used to help find the perfect Dormouse whose personality will match your lifestyle or sexual preferences!"

"Order now and we'll even throw in your Dormouse Daki starting kit! Includes self-cleaning panties and thongs so she won't need to bathe after you wake up in the middle of night with the urge to pump her full of cream, a selection of lingere imbued with the "feather" spell to make moving her about easy without waking her up, and even a garter belt which makes her anus self-lubricating for a quick rump in her rear! Call now!"

*****Some restrictions apply. Free delivery only available in the greater MGC metropolitan area. Extra charges may apply outside this area. Wife-candidate options only are limited to ages 10 and up as per MGC by-laws. E-Z-Sleep Co. Ltd. Inc. is not held responsible for sleep-induced pregnancy-related incidents. Returns not accepted after 7 days or positive pregnancy test results.

The number flashes on your screen in bright, yellow letters, with a still image of a sleeping pile of Dormice girls.

Do you call?