Dear sis... 1

"Let's make the most of what's right now,
Because this feeling wont last."


I don’t know exactly what to say. There’s so much to say. In fact, there aren’t enough words out there to describe what I’m feeling. Emptiness, sadness, everything that you could possibly think of plus just one more sad word. This isn’t an ode, as much as I know you would love one. This isn’t me calling for you back, I’ve passed that stage. This letter to you, describing all the ways I love you should fix me. I know you don’t like seeing me sad; you never have. So, for lack of a less painful word, I bet it kills you to watch me from wherever you happen to be, in my current state. I’ll make this brief, because I don’t want too many tears in my keyboard.
You, the one and only Amanda Almond Scraton, were my greatest inspiration. You taught me so much about the world, and about music, and about people. But let’s rewind a bit, back to that day, I forget the date, but you know the one. It’s about 5 in the afternoon, you remember? You and your sisters just walked into the place I called home for years. I was about 10, I think. God damn I hated that place. That orphanage that you guys just so happened to go to. The orphanage that I just so happened to be living at. I never told you guys, but damn did that place suck. I won’t go into detail but it was pretty bad. Anyway, I didn’t know it at the time, but that was the day I was moving up in life. I was going to get a family. I still remember seeing you guys walk in the front door, Ella with her ridiculous leather jacket, you with your green hair; man you guys looked stupid. You were the first one I made eye contact with. You grabbed moms sleeve and said the best thing I have ever heard uttered from a human mouth.
“Mom, can we have that one?”
That line, in its simplicity, was just another little kid mistake, right? But it meant so much more to me. Not only was it a reason to hope, but it meant that someone wanted me. I didn’t even mind being treated like a dog at a pet store, it worked out fine for me just fine. And that car ride home, oh the memories. You and Sidney just would not shut up, huh? Well, I enjoyed the stories, all of them.