Corruption, Session 3

<DM>	-=QUEST RESUME-DESU!=-
<DM>	*You emerge at the surface of the water to see God kicking the spirit of Iyaruka_Aetashigo from the sun to the moon. Interesting skybox background.*
<DM>	*The wreckage of the boat is scattered around you. You can see some dead guards floating, some of which are fairly dismembered as the river's color begins to turn red from the blood.*
<DM>	*Flonne, after killing that dude that could've helped you, has mysteriously disappeared, as well as CoolG. Interesting.*
<DM>	*To either side of the river is the shoreline, though from the east side, you can see guards beginning to pour in and converge on you. Do you decide to fight them or turn tail and run the heck the other way?*
*	Serra just decides to surrender
<DM>	*..... or surrender. Oooookay.*
*	Charizard wonders what the heck Serra is doing
<DM>	*So far, only two guards are near you. There's more in the far distance, but it'll take some time for them to reach you. You notice they're all old and running out of breath.*
*	X_X is now known as RiverGuard
*	X__X is now known as RiverRearguard
*	RiverGuard gets to the shoreline closest to you all, pants a bit, then yells out to you two.
<RiverGuard>	STOP! YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW! PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE! YOUR STOLEN GOODS ARE NOW FORFEIT!
*	Serra whispers
<Serra>	"If we surrender, we'll be taken to their base, I think."
*	Charizard whispers back
<Charizard>	"Where else could they take us?"
*	Serra whispers
<Serra>	"Exactly! That's why I'm surrendering!"
*	Charizard whispers back
<Charizard>	"And what will we gain from this?"
*	Serra whispers
<Serra>	"Progress!"
*	Charizard whispers back
<Charizard>	"Uh... I have it your way."
*	RiverGuard yells again.
*	Charizard surrenders too
<RiverGuard>	I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CHATTING ABOUT, BUT COME KINDLY AND LET ME JOIN.
<RiverGuard>	....... I mean, surrender.
<Serra>	DIDN'T YOU READ MY OBVIOUS ACTIONS?!
<Serra>	I'm obviously surrendering
<DM>	*The two of you hold your arms in the air. Oddly enough, the guards, now of which there's three on the shoreline, aren't getting in the water.*
<Charizard>	"Crud, she gets mad easily."
<DM>	*Now you see THEM whispering to each other.*
<DM>	(are either of you Hylian?)
<Charizard>	(I am a Lizalfos, not a Pokémon)
<DM>	(kay, so neither of you have super Hylian hearing then)
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	((Stop being lizardman))
<DM>	*A fourth guard is now at the shoreline. They...... still aren't getting in the water.*
<DM>	*From the south, you can see a small boat approaching. By small boat, I'm talking like canoe-sized. There's a single man aboard it.*
<Charizard>	(why, iyaruka)
<DM>	(brb real fast)
<DM>	(back)
<Serra>	Boats!
<Charizard>	"I see the boats, too."
<DM>	*The boat is reaches the wreckage and stops. It's only about 30 feet away from you if you want to swim towards it.*
<DM>	*There's a Zora aboard.*
<DM>	*..... why is a Zora using a boat.*
<Charizard>	"Why is a Zora using a boat?"
*	RiverGuard yells to you all again.
<RiverGuard>	BY ORDER OF THE THIRD ELITE GUARD OF MALEK, I ORDER YOU, WHOEVER IS IN THAT BOAT, TO HAND THE BOAT OVER TO US BECAUSE WE CAN'T SWI-
<DM>	*He's suddenly hushed as one of his compadres puts his hand over the yelling guard's mouth.*
<DM>	*So... you all still surrenduring or changing your plans with the boat right there and your new knowledge of these guards' swimming abilities?*
<Serra>	pfft
<Serra>	You guys seriously can't swim?!
<RiverGuard>	What?!
<RiverGuard>	I CAN SWIM!
<RiverGuard>	........ right guys?
<RiverGuard>	I think.
<RiverGuard>	Maybe.
<Serra>	Prove it!
<RiverGuard>	Why you.....
RiverGuard RiverRearguard
<DM>	*Serra, roll Wisdom vs. RiverGuard to see if your taunt works!*
<Charizard>	"Wow, they can't swim. And they call themselves guards."
<Serra>	$4d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 6, 3 and 9. Total: 24. Successes: 3.
<RiverGuard>	$2d10
<Navi>	RiverGuard: You rolled 2 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10 and 7. Total: 17. Successes: 3.
<DM>	ROLLOFF
<Serra>	ffffff
<Serra>	$4d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 5, 3 and 10. Total: 23. Successes: 4.
<RiverGuard>	$2d10
<Navi>	RiverGuard: You rolled 2 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2 and 9. Total: 11. Successes: 1.
<RiverGuard>	I'LL SWIM! I'LL SWIM ALRIGHT! I'LL PROVE IT!
*	RiverGuard dives into the wall and attempts to swim towards you......
RiverGuard RiverRearguard
<DM>	*After about two or three arm strokes, RiverGuard encounters a new kind of stroke, which is lethal on his back. He falls below the surface of the water, and moments later, his gurgling stops.*
<DM>	+4 EXP!
<DM>	+$4d8 Rupees!
*	Serra levels up!
*	RiverGuard is now known as X_X
<Charizard>	(Do I get 4 EXP or nay?)
<DM>	(yes)
<Serra>	+2 Courage, +1 Wisdom, +1 HP, +1 Magic!
<Charizard>	"Well done Serra, you managed to peer pressure a person to his death."
<RiverRearguard>	NO! Paraguay, my friend... WHAT VILE MIND CONTROL DID YOU ALL DO?!
<DM>	*See Basic Skills --> Taunt*
*	RiverRearguard pulls up a bow and arrows.
<Serra>	$4d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 5, 5 and 1. Total: 21. Successes: 4.
<Serra>	$4d8
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 4 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 8, 4, 4 and 1. Total: 17.
<DM>	*Serra, you successfully taunt the rupees to attack you and enter your wallet. Congratulations.*
<Charizard>	$4d8
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 4 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 2, 8, 6 and 8. Total: 24.
<Serra>	Well, excuse me, RearGuardsman!
<Serra>	Let me remind you!
<DM>	*Annnnd looks like this guard can shoot at you. I don't think he's taking surrender as an option anymore.*
<Serra>	That he did that to himself!
<RiverRearguard>	He would never do that to himself! Just because he's an old man and is often confused doesn't mean he can't be a duck!
<Charizard>	"Nice job, Serra! We made 'progress'!"
*	RiverRearguard aims a Metal Tipped Arrow in the direction of Serra.
<Serra>	Eek!
*	Serra hides behind Charizard
*	Charizard reveals Serra
<Charizard>	"This is not my problem!"
<RiverRearguard>	I DON'T CARE! YOU SHALL PAY!
*	RiverRearguard fires the arrow at.....
<Charizard>	"How many rupees?"
<Charizard>	"Is blue your favorite colour?"
<DM>	*Serra and Charizard, both of you roll Courage to see which one of you is closer.*
<Serra>	$6d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 6 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 1, 6, 1, 7 and 6. Total: 29. Successes: 4.
<Charizard>	$4d10
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 3, 7 and 8. Total: 19. Successes: 2.
<DM>	*Serra, you successfully dive behind Charizard.*
*	RiverRearguard fires the arrow at Charizard! (Roll Courage)
<DM>	*Due to the range, RiverRearguard is at a -3 penalty.*
<RiverRearguard>	$10d10
<Navi>	RiverRearguard: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 6, 10, 5, 10, 2, 4, 4 and 3. Total: 49. Successes: 6.
<Charizard>	(I use my shield for this, right?)
<DM>	(yep)
<Charizard>	$8d10
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 8 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 3, 1, 6, 10, 6, 7 and 7. Total: 42. Successes: 6.
<DM>	ROLLOFF
<RiverRearguard>	$10d10
<Navi>	RiverRearguard: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 8, 3, 1, 10, 10, 4, 5, 1 and 9. Total: 54. Successes: 7.
<Charizard>	$8d10
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 8 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 8, 4, 3, 2, 4, 3 and 2. Total: 35. Successes: 2.
<Charizard>	(...help...)
<DM>	(got any armor?)
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	((._.))
<Charizard>	(...nope...)
*	Serra rerolls Charizard!
<DM>	(go buy yourself a Dragonhide Tunic from the Hylian Shop)
<Charizard>	(yep, i think i should)
<DM>	(fourth wallin' this crap)
<Charizard>	(i dont want a arrow in my knee)
<DM>	(lol)
<Serra>	But...my reroll? :<
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	((Goddammit))
<DM>	(and reroll as if you got the +2 courage from the armor, so..... $10d10 for your defense roll)
<Charizard>	(so i reroll now?)
<DM>	(sure)
<Charizard>	$10d10
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 10 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 9, 6, 1, 4, 4, 6, 2, 10 and 1. Total: 49. Successes: 6.
<DM>	*The arrow hits you Charizard, but it bounces off your suddenly fourth-wall breaking spontaneously appearing armor.*
<Charizard>	"Hah!"
<RiverRearguard>	What?! WHAT TRICKERY WAS THAT?!
<Serra>	Good job, Shield!
<Charizard>	"You owe me..."
<DM>	*From the north, you notice a small canoe-sized boat, filled with guards, slowly moving towards you. It seems they've found a way to move towards you...... slowly.*
<Serra>	Okay!
*	Serra gives Charizard 1 Rupee
<Charizard>	"Thanks. We're even."
<DM>	*Troll logic at its finest.*
<DM>	*The shoreline to the east is still clear.*
<DM>	*You continue to rest in the middle of the ship wreckage while guards are closing in on your position. The skybox changes as a lone cloud starts fighting that God from earlier.*
Sephiroth Serra
*	DM pokes Serra and Charizard with a 'you two doin' anything?'
*	Serra yawns
*	Charizard throws water on Serra
<Serra>	All these battles are making me sleepy.
<Charizard>	"You got us into this mess, you get us out!"
<DM>	*The Zora from earlier has popped up next to you.*
<Serra>	I wish we could just escape to an innor something
*	X_X is now known as Zora
<Serra>	Did I now?
<Serra>	Well, I'd hate to tell you, but it was those two who went missing who got us into this.
<Zora>	Woah, what's with the guards, dudes? Like, I'm tryin' to pass through here duuuuuudes, but those dudes are blockin' my way!
<Charizard>	"...Blame her."
<Serra>	\\
<Charizard>	(:3)
<DM>	*Yes. He's a dudester Zora. He's even wearing sunglasses.*
<Charizard>	"Cool sunglasses... dude."
<Zora>	What? Seriously yo? Fo real?!
<Zora>	I heard one of yo talkin' 'bout an inn or somethin' yo, ain't that right?
<Serra>	*Yawn* Yes, I'm sleepy. >.>
<Zora>	I think there's one over thataway...
<Serra>	I don't even want to fight these people
*	Zora points to the east, where there's no guards on that shoreline.
<Zora>	Yeah yo, we can hide there yo!
<Charizard>	"She's sleepy from standing behind me and use my like a shield." ;-;
<Charizard>	(*using)
<Zora>	Fsteak, yo!
<Serra>	YAY!
<Charizard>	"Sure, Zora dude. Let's go."
<Serra>	My protector, we must head to that inn, that is our mission!
<Zora>	Hey yo, I'm goin' to the inn before those guards stake me to door and make eat shrooms!
<Zora>	Yeah buds, let's go!
<DM>	*You all begin your journey to the east. As you swim over to the shoreline, the Zora dooms himself by asking a question...*
<Zora>	Yo dudes, what's you all's names?
<Charizard>	"I'm Charizard. She's Serra."
<Serra>	I don't know how you got my name! *Look at her nametag* ...oh.
<Zora>	Alright yo, that's sweet, Char the Zarda and Sarah Ha, eh? That's cool man!
<Zora>	My name is Joe Bunschtag!
<Charizard>	"...Sure. We're cool."
<Zora>	..... I don't know why mah name is weird like that, but hey, it's all hip and cool now.
<Charizard>	"You like to chill on boats?"
<Charizard>	"Is swimming too mainstream, yo?"
<Zora>	Eh, I was carryin' some stuff on there. That's all yo, but it ain't important now yo.
*	Zora is now known as JoeBunschtag
<Charizard>	"Tis cool, dude."
<DM>	*You reach the shoreline, and now that the Zora is named, he'll probably die by the end of the session.*
<Charizard>	(nooo, he's so cool though. ;-;)
<JoeBunschtag>	Alright yo, uhh... I think...
<JoeBunschtag>	It's the one after this house, yo!
<DM>	*He points to a single-story house with a single window. From inside, you can see a kid inside, biting his nails while in wonder, staring at the scene of the ship wreckage.*
*	JoeBunschtag dives past the house.
<Charizard>	"Nice job Serra, you scared everyone."
<Serra>	For the last time, I didn't cause this!
<Charizard>	"I blame you for having such odd friends."
*	Charizard whispers
<Charizard>	"Don't tell them I said that."
<Serra>	My plan from the beginning was to surrender, and attack from the inside!
<DM>	*You get past this house and reach a desolate street. Everyone has locked themselves inside their homes, and it seems even the inn on the other side of the street is locked. Two guards stand outside of it, on the lookout. They have not spotted you yet.*
<Charizard>	"...Oh my."
*	RiverRearguard is now known as X__X
<DM>	*From behind, the guards are still searching the wreckage. They think you guys really tried surrending at the ship. Poor old men, not realizing the difference between raisins and ducks.*
<Charizard>	"Serra, nice one. We fooled them."
<DM>	*So, you guys going for that inn? Or... actually, the door into the house next to you is slightly ajar. You can see the kid peeking at you guys.*
<Serra>	To the inn!
<Charizard>	"Uh..."
<JoeBunschtag>	Hey yo, that kid is starin' at us!
<Serra>	...Wait
*	Serra notices that kid
<Charizard>	"This kid is staring into my soul."
<DM>	*Kid's Wisdom vs. Charizard's Wisdom. GO, DICE ROLL!*
*	X__X is now known as Kid
<Kid>	$3d10
<Navi>	Kid: You rolled 3 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 5 and 2. Total: 10. Successes: 1.
<Charizard>	"Oh my..."
<Charizard>	$4d10
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 4 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 9, 9 and 6. Total: 30. Successes: 4.
<DM>	*The kid's stare fails to rattle your soul. Your spirit overwhelms him, and he passes out, with the door still ajar.*
<Charizard>	"...I didn't mean to do that."
<DM>	*You hear some knocking sounds from... inside the house.*
<JoeBunschtag>	Yo, I swear, it wasn't me, I'm not prankin' you!
<DM>	*It wasn't your racist Zora friend.*
<Charizard>	"...Serra, you go check it out."
*	Serra checks it out
<DM>	*Someone's taking charge around here.*
<Charizard>	"You too, Zora dude."
<DM>	*Serra, you enter the house, cause that's how you would check it out.*
<JoeBunschtag>	WHA- *quiets down* ... what?
<Charizard>	"You go in there! She may need help."
<JoeBunschtag>	No, uhh, I mean uhh... how you gonna REALLY convince me to go in there and check it out yo?
<Charizard>	"If she gets hurt, she'll blame you, and WHO knows what she will do to you if she gets hurt."
<DM>	*You enter the house. It's a single bedroom with one window looking out towards the river. There's a small bed in the corner of the room. The kid is passed out at the entrance. There really isn't much to this room... though, some of the wooden floor panels are colored differently.*
<Charizard>	"Fiiiine, I'll come along."
<DM>	*Another set of knocks is heard. They're coming from the middle of the floor.*
<Serra>	Are you alright, kid?
<JoeBunschtag>	Alright yo, gotta protect the kid, yo yo!
*	JoeBunschtag enters.
*	Kid wakes up.
<Kid>	EEK!
<Charizard>	"Um... hey there, kid. Sorry for uh... staring into your soul. Heh."
<Serra>	Shh! Calm down! D:
<DM>	*The door is still open, you know. You might wanna close it before the kid's screams alert those guards across the street.*
<Kid>	Err... are you gonna hert me?
<Charizard>	"Close the door Serra... do something."
*	Serra closes the door. D:
*	JoeBunschtag goes all homie on this shizz.
<Charizard>	"No, no, of course not. Though, I mean, you shouldn't stare at people like that though. It's creepy."
<JoeBunschtag>	Yo yo kid, I's the neighborhood Zora yo, in da house with the goro goro and the zoro zoro! Ain't you never seen anythin' like this yo!
*	Serra punches Joe to shut him up.
<Charizard>	"That's not nice."
<JoeBunschtag>	Doh!
<Charizard>	"Yous are both are a bad influence for this young one!"
*	Kid continues to back up towards a nearby corner.
<Charizard>	"Hey, it's all good kid; there's no need to panic."
<DM>	*Charizard, it appears the hipster Zora's speech patterns are beginning to rub off on you.*
*	Kid is clearing panicing, breathing faster and faster.
<Charizard>	"Serra, stop scaring this kid and do something!"
<Kid>	Uh.... uhh...
*	Charizard is whispering (btw)
*	Serra is terrible with kids
<Charizard>	"It's not everyday you meet a Lizalfos with a name that sounds like from another world, I know. It's not everyday you meet someone with a good sense of humor. But this won't mean I don't bite... much, maybe."
<DM>	*You hear another set of knocks from the middle of the room.*
<Kid>	Lizard... man?
<Charizard>	"Don't call me that you little--"
*	Kid hears the knocks and panicks less.
<Charizard>	"Eh?"
<Kid>	Hey uhh... can you kind sirs umm.. answer that?
<Charizard>	"Yeah, Sir Serra, do something here!"
<Serra>	Right, we're kinda sorta being framed for something two other people did.
<Kid>	Just uhh... pop open the floor, pwa-weaaaaaase?
*	Kid is totally bambi-eyeing you.
<JoeBunschtag>	Yeah, we's in the frame yo!
<Serra>	Shut it, Toejam
<Charizard>	"Kid, you think those eyes are going to wor-- awww, he's so cute."
<JoeBunschtag>	Meep.
*	JoeBunschtag just pouts in a corner.
*	Charizard pats JoeBunschtag's back
<Serra>	Now then
<JoeBunschtag>	Hey yo, umm... thanks.
<Charizard>	"It's okay man. I only met Serra for a day, and she already tried to use my life as a shield!"
<Serra>	What's this about a secret passage, kid?
<Kid>	My friends... they're waiting for me. Umm... open that door, and I won't scream. I pwomise.
<Charizard>	"There's more kids...?"
*	Serra opens the secret door
*	Kid thinks for a moment before nodding his head "yes".
<Charizard>	"Do they have a habit of staring into souls too?"
<DM>	*You open the door, and below, you can see a party of people aiming several bows at you. They're not kids.*
*	Serra closes the door
<Charizard>	"..."
<Kid>	Umm... why'd you close the door?
<Serra>	I see, so this was a trap the whole time, huh, kid?
<Charizard>	"I want soul staring kids instead."
*	Serra stands on the door.
<DM>	*You hear yelling from below.*
<Charizard>	"Kid, is this some kind of sick joke?"
<Charizard>	"I have humor. And I know what it is. But this is noooooooooot funny."
<Serra>	Just a side note, kid.
<Serra>	Your tactics are really awesome!
*	Charizard slaps Serra
<Serra>	Eh?!
<DM>	*Suddenly, the trapdoor is sent flying into the roof. It breaks into pieces which rain down on the guy that hammer'd the door.*
<DM>	[???]: GOD DANGI-
<Charizard>	"Can't you see here I'm trying to discipline this kid?"
<DM>	*He's seen falling shortly afterwards.*
<Serra>	Wah?!
<Charizard>	"EH!?"
<Charizard>	"Serra, what did you do this time!?"
<Serra>	Follow-up question: What'd this genius kid do?!
<Kid>	W-w-wait, ummm... please, just... let me speak to them!
<JoeBunschtag>	Hey yo, uhh.. I'm just a traveller yo, I ain't got no fighting thingies, so I vote we just let the kid calm them the heeeeeeeeck down yo.
<Charizard>	"It's cool, Joe."
<Serra>	Fine, it's difficult to trust you, but you're a kid, may as well, since if we don't I'm gonna die anyway
<Serra>	In other words
<Charizard>	"Serra's got this!"
<Serra>	go for it, kid
*	Charizard whispers to Joe
<Charizard>	""We're relying on a kid who tricked us? We're doomed."
*	Kid barrel rolls over to the now-broken-door.
<JoeBunschtag>	Well...
*	JoeBunschtag positions himself next to the exit of the house.
<Serra>	Clearly, you've never heard of the beautiful and pwoerful tactician that is me.
<JoeBunschtag>	If this crap goes down yo.. we can just ruuuuuuuun yo!
<Kid>	Hey! Hey guys! Stop hitting us! They're friends!
<DM>	*The kid rolls back after you hear some muffled talking from below.*
<Kid>	They say they're coming up. Umm... don't hurt them please.
<Kid>	Or... or....
<Kid>	I'll bite your leg!
*	Kid makes a chomping motion with his hands. D'AAAWWWWWWWWWWWW
*	Serra puts away her Spear
*	Charizard is to busy laughing at Serra, snickering "Tactician? Really?"
<DM>	*You see a pair of shields appear at the top of the ladder. A moment later, a young woman pushes herself to the top, and then immediately raises a pair of large shields in your direction.*
<Charizard>	(*too)
<Serra>	Oh?
<DM>	*Afterwards, some other people, all of which seem to be either teenagers or young adults, carrying various weapons start appearing.*
<Serra>	(IS IT GETTING CRAMPED?)
<DM>	*Two of them are carrying an unconscious dude with a hammer. He was probably the guy that spiked the door onto himself.*
<Charizard>	"Serra, why do you lead us to these kinda of situations?"
<DM>	*The one with the shields says something downwards.*
<DM>	[???]: Jennie, it's safe now. You can come up here.
<DM>	*A moment later, someone that you, Serra, recognize as Iyaruka_Aetashigo, reaches the top of the ladder.*
<Serra>	I'm going to pretend that you just didn't question how perfect I am, Charizard.
<Serra>	Oh!
<DM>	*I don't know if you ever learned her name, but you recognize her from the boat.*
<Serra>	Hi person whose name I don't know!
<Charizard>	"Close to perfect, I'll give you that... but not perfect."
<Kid>	Yay, we have the resister thingy guys here!
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo looks at Serra confused.
<Serra>	Oh that's right
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	Who are you?
<Serra>	When I was on the ship,I was wearing this, wasn't I?
<Charizard>	"Who's this person? How come I got the feeling I know her (or his) name?"
*	Serra tosses Biraku's Toupe hat
<Serra>	Oh right!
<Serra>	I never introduced myself proper
<Kid>	My name is Kid!
<JoeBunschtag>	...... yo seriously, really kid? Really?
<Charizard>	"You're kidding me."
<Kid>	My parents were lazy I think.
<Serra>	I'm the perfect  in every way Cleric, Tactician, and Swordsman, Serra of the St. Elimine Church!
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	....
<DM>	*The woman with the shields looks at JoeBunschtag, confuzzled.*
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	What is an Elimine?
<Charizard>	"I'm perfect in every way too, then."
<DM>	[???]: ... are you that racist hipster I heard from down there?
*	JoeBunschtag suddenly gets very angry.
*	Charizard calms Joe down
<JoeBunschtag>	WHO YOU CALLIN' A RACIST HISPTER! I'M THE JOE OF THE ZORAS YO, AND IF YOU GOT A PROBLEM YO, YOU'D BE COME TO JOE, CAUSE I'M COMIN' FOR YOU YO!
<DM>	*He's yelling rather loudly.*
<Charizard>	"I failed."
<Serra>	So, I introduced myself
<Serra>	What about you?
<Charizard>	"Serra... do something! You're the 'perfect' one." ;-;
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	Uh, guys?
<DM>	*You calm Joe down through a generic action. Your generic action fails to work.*
<DM>	*The woman with the shields lowers them and introduces herself.*
<DM>	[???]: I am Yuka, one of the members of our resistance cell against the evil Malek.
<Serra>	Ohh, I get it!
<DM>	(gonna just run these guys through [Blah] instead of shelling them)
<DM>	[Yuka]: Get what?
<Serra>	Malek is a Rip off of Nergal, alrighty.
<DM>	[Yuka]: ... who?
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	What's a Nergal?
*	JoeBunschtag misinterpreted that while in rage mode.
<Charizard>	"Don't mind Serra. She's a bit sleepy."
<JoeBunschtag>	WOAH WOAH WOAH, SON, WHAT'D YOU JUST CALL ME?
<Serra>	Some asshole from Elibe. Anyways
*	JoeBunschtag gets up close to Serra, pointing his finger at her.
<Charizard>	"Joe, please, chill. Be cool again." ;-;
<Serra>	If you people need a tactician, you've just hired one!
<JoeBunschtag>	HEY! YOU! YOU JUST CALLED ME A NIGGAH, DIDN'T YOU?! REPEAT THAT, SON!
<Charizard>	"Yeah! I am the best Tactician here!"
<Charizard>	"You heard the lady!"
<DM>	[Yuka]: Uhh, someone calm him down before the guards swarm this building?
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo whispers to herself "I am surrounded by idiots"
<JoeBunschtag>	Al-alright, y-you know what?
*	Serra slaps Joe, to calm him down.
<JoeBunschtag>	I ain't dealin' with-
<DM>	*Roll Power vs. his Power, Serra!
<Serra>	$3d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 3 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 10 and 8. Total: 22. Successes: 3.
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	I think I might just go back down.
<JoeBunschtag>	$2d10
<Navi>	JoeBunschtag: You rolled 2 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4 and 6. Total: 10. Successes: 1.
*	Charizard comes close to Iyaruka_Aetashigo and whispers "...Hoenn."
<DM>	*Your slap sends JoeBunschtag spiraling to the floor, knocking him out.*
<DM>	[Yuka]: Thank you.
<Charizard>	"He's cool once you get to know him."
<Serra>	Anyways
<DM>	[Yuka]: I'm sure he is. By the way, what's that green gem on his back?
<Serra>	I've handled evil tyrants before!
<DM>	*There is indeed a green gem on the Zora's back. It's now flashing now that he's knocked out.*
<Charizard>	"Serra also has handled shaving her legs too on multiple times."
<DM>	*It's darker tinted than a rupee.*
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo looks at the gemmy greens.
*	Serra slaps Charizard
<DM>	*sigh...... Serra vs. Charizard, roll Power)
<Serra>	$3d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 3 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 6 and 5. Total: 13. Successes: 2.
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo pokes the gem?
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo fails to poke the gem, for she has no poking abilities.
<DM>	*You poke the gem. Just then, you hear a female voice from the gem.*
<Charizard>	$8d10
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 8 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 3, 8, 6, 8, 9, 8 and 6. Total: 58. Successes: 8.
<DM>	*Serra, you slap Charizard's shield. You feel a bit of pain as Newton's third law returns to threaten your characters once more. Good lord you're cursed.*
<Charizard>	"Hah."
<DM>	[Gem]: Joe is in danger. The boat has been compromised. Let it rain.
<DM>	*The gem shatters.*
<Charizard>	"Eh!?"
<DM>	*Joe wakes back up, weakened by the slap.*
<JoeBunschtag>	Uhh... yo... I'm sorry yo... I didn't mean to...
*	JoeBunschtag searches his back, and he pauses suddenly.
<JoeBunschtag>	Uhh... yo, uhh... where'd I leave my boat last, yo?
<DM>	*Last you saw it, some guards took it.*
<DM>	[Yuka]: Hey. You. What was on that boat?
<Charizard>	"Um Joe... Actually, Serra, you explain."
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo tries to go over to see if there are any guards coming.
<Charizard>	"You're 'perfect' at these things."
<Serra>	How should I know?
<JoeBunschtag>	That boat? I reckon...
<Serra>	I may be the perfect tactician
*	JoeBunschtag takes his sunglasses off.
<Serra>	But that doesn't mean I have perfect memory
<JoeBunschtag>	... it was a reckoning.
*	JoeBunschtag makes a wicked smile, and screams:
<JoeBunschtag>	YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
<Charizard>	"NO!"
<DM>	*His eyes turn red, and his body floats up into the air.*
*	Charizard curls up and repeats "...no..." over and over
<DM>	[Yuka]: HEY, GET HIM OUT OF HERE!
*	Serra slaps Joe. O_O
<Serra>	$3d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 3 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 7 and 9. Total: 26. Successes: 4.
<DM>	*You slap him, but he continues to hover in air, despite your slap breaking his leg.*
<Serra>	WAH?!
<DM>	*Suddenly, you hear the equivalent of a bass drop from the direction of the river.*
<Serra>	He's fragile! o.o
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	... Did he get memed?
<Charizard>	"What did you do now Serra!?"
<DM>	*A shockwave of darkness spreads throughout the town, covering you all in a dark night.*
<Charizard>	"Eh? The weatherman never said anything about it being cloudy..."
<DM>	*The Zora then has an even crazier smile before dropping to the floor like a doll.*
<DM>	[Yuka]: What in the WORLD was that?!
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	...
<DM>	[Yuka]: Hey! Someone answer me, who is that Zora?!
<Charizard>	"That, my friend, was a dose of what it's like to be with Serra."
<Serra>	I wish Mathew or Oswin were here, they'd be much better bodyguards than this guy!
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	Welp, that's enough internet for me.
*	Serra points at Charizard
<Charizard>	"I'm not your bodyguard!"
<DM>	*Yuka raises her shields in the direction of Charizard.*
<Serra>	You are now!~
<DM>	[Yuka]: Hey! I asked a question, ANSWER IT!
<Charizard>	"N-no! Not again!"
<DM>	*She seems a bit more frantic and panicked.*
<Charizard>	"That Zora was a friend of Serra's! I don't know him!"
<Charizard>	"In fact, I don't know her!"
<Serra>	What're you talking about?!
<Charizard>	"I don't know anyone!"
<DM>	*Just then, you all hear a sizzling sound. It's coming from the direction of the door to the house.*
*	Kid tries putting his ear next to the door.
<Kid>	Hey, what's that fuzzy sound?
<Charizard>	"Kid, get away."
<Charizard>	"You have a name, try to be careful." (>_>)
*	Kid stares blankly at you for a moment.
<DM>	[Yuka]: Kid, over here, now!
<Charizard>	"Just trust me. I may be strange already, but I have a hunch on these things."
<Kid>	Okay Yuka!
*	Kid dashes for Charizard, but Joe's arm grabs his leg suddenly.
<Charizard>	"Eh?"
<Charizard>	"What now, Joe?"
<JoeBunschtag>	Heh heh heh heh... yo... you all... you's goin' down with me, yo....
<Charizard>	"Need a glass of water?"
<Charizard>	"Down on the floor?"
<Charizard>	"It doesn't look that nice."
<DM>	*Yuka rushes over to the door, putting both of her shields up.*
<DM>	[Yuka]: RUN YOU IDIOT!
<DM>	*The sizzling stops.*
<Charizard>	"LET IT RAIN."
<Serra>	We need the song of Storms~
<Charizard>	"Gr... you better have the stuff."
<DM>	*Then, the door explodes in conjuction with Charizard's comment. The explosion knocks Yuka into the nearby wall as she protects Kid.*
<DM>	*A group of guards appears where the remains of the door are, confronting you.*
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	Well, I'm out.
<Charizard>	"Bombs aren't yours my friend."
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo tries to go back down into the sewers
<DM>	*You head back down into the tunnel, not the sewers you Resiforaefreaukfre screw spelling.*
<Serra>	This
<Serra>	Is
<Serra>	Ridiculous
*	X___X is now known as Guard
<Guard>	HALT! ALL OF YOU ARE TO SURRENDER AND COME WITH ME!
<Charizard>	"Serra, why did you let that happen!?"
<Serra>	Guard
<Serra>	Dude
<DM>	(well, if you want to try attempt two at coming with him, it might work without you dying)
<Serra>	Listen to me
<Serra>	There is 1 of you
<Serra>	And like
<Serra>	10 of uys
<Serra>	And you're telling us
<Serra>	To surrender
<DM>	*Actually, there's three more guards right behind him.*
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	((Do I hop to another channel?))
<Serra>	Do the math
<Serra>	please
<DM>	(sure)
<Charizard>	"YOU HAD TO SAY IT"
*	Charizard wants to slap Serra, but now isn't the time.
<DM>	*Actually, while you distracted the guard, the rest of that group grabbed the passed out Yuka and Kid and followed Iyaruka_Aetashigo into the tunnels.*
<DM>	*So.... it's you two and Joe vs. guards.*
<Charizard>	"They left us here to deal with these fools who call themselves guards!"
<Serra>	...Well now
<Charizard>	"These guards destroyed a door! Protect my butt!"
<Serra>	Looks like I'm the one who should do math
<Charizard>	(*Protect,)
<Serra>	pfft
<Serra>	This reminds me of that time I took out 1/4 of the Black Fang with just my spells, and Mathew and Oswin as meat shields.
<JoeBunschtag>	Hey, yo uhh... I ain't feelin' so well, so... why don't I even the odds for you two yo. Was nice knowin' you two cool guys, yo. Peace out!
<Charizard>	"Serra, you're so mean to them."
<Serra>	HEY
<Serra>	JOE EL MA COOL
<DM>	*Suddenly, Joe pulls out his own bomb, with its fuse already lit. He grabs the closest guard.*
<Serra>	COME BACK
*	Charizard is suddenly reminded of an old friend he met at... Londom
*	JoeBunschtag waves a peace sign at the two of you as the guard tries to frantically get away.
*	coolgames|WiiU (635ad96f@ircip4.mibbit.com) has joined #zurpg
<DM>	*In a flash of light, sound combusts as JoeBunschtag explodes with the guard, wrecking even more of the house.*
<Charizard>	"Oh..."
*	JoeBunschtag is now known as X_X
<Charizard>	(brb real fast)
*	Serra kicks coolgamer into #zuchat and #zuteam
*	Kid is now known as X__X
*	Guard is now known as X___X
*	coolgames|WiiU is now known as Alaxander
<Serra>	OH
<DM>	*It's now three guards vs. you two. And... someone sneaking up from behind them.*
<DM>	*Alaxander appears behind one of the guards, sword in hand!*
<Charizard>	(back)
<DM>	(at least, I'm assuming a sword)
<Alaxander>	(yeah)
<DM>	(alrighty..... roll sword's attack roll)
<Alaxander>	(k)
<Charizard>	"Who is this puny-looking kid behind the guards?"
<Alaxander>	$13d10
<Navi>	Alaxander: You rolled 13 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 6, 3, 2, 10, 6, 5, 1, 3, 8, 4, 10 and 2. Total: 70. Successes: 10.
*	X_X is now known as RiverGuard1
*	X__X is now known as RiverGuard2
*	X___X is now known as RiverRearguard
<Alaxander>	(Rearguard.. Everyone needs one)
<RiverGuard2>	$7d10
<Navi>	RiverGuard2: You rolled 7 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 7, 4, 8, 2, 1 and 6. Total: 30. Successes: 3.
<DM>	pfffffffff
RiverGuard1 RiverGuard2 RiverRearguard
RiverGuard1 RiverGuard2
<Charizard>	"Not really well equipped, aren't yous?"
<Alaxander>	(I hope I don't screw up too much XD, Haven't used ZURPG in awhile)
<Charizard>	(YOU SCREWED UP)
<Charizard>	(jk)
<DM>	*Alaxander, you pull a perfect sneak attack as you pierce RiverGuard2 through the chest. It obliviates his heart, and the guard falls to the ground in a lifeless heap.*
*	RiverGuard1 turns and sees the assassin take out his buddy.
<RiverGuard1>	WHA?!
<Alaxander>	(Dayum, I am strong)
<Charizard>	"...I take back what he said about being puny. Holy."
<Alaxander>	SURPRISE!
<DM>	*Roll initiatives!*
<Charizard>	(er... let me restate that)
<Serra>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Serra: A battle is already in progress. You may join with $init join.
<Alaxander>	(I forgot how, DM.)
<Charizard>	"...I take back what I said about him being puny. Holy."
<Serra>	WUH
<Serra>	$turns
<Navi>	ROUND 5: Lightwall (10), Moblin (5) and Wisp (0).
<Serra>	.-.
<DM>	......
<DM>	oops
<DM>	$init r
<Navi>	DM: The bot has been reset.
<Serra>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Serra: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 3.
<Charizard>	$init 0d1
*	RiverGuard2 is now known as X__X
<Navi>	Charizard: That is not an initiative roll.
<Charizard>	wait waht
*	RiverGuard1 is now known as RiverGuard
<DM>	pro roll yo
<Alaxander>	$init 1d9
<Navi>	Alaxander: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 8.
<Charizard>	(Your initiative is reduced by $0d1.)
<RiverGuard>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	RiverGuard: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 8.
<DM>	oh
<DM>	1d9
<Charizard>	$init 1d9
<Navi>	Charizard: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 3.
<RiverRearguard>	$init 1d10
<Charizard>	(;-;)
<Navi>	RiverRearguard: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 9.
<Charizard>	"I feel your pain of not being perfect, Serra, for once."
<DM>	*Iyaruka_Aetashigo climbs to the top of the ladder and joins the battle.*
<DM>	(Roll initiative!)
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	$init 1d10
<Navi>	Iyaruka_Aetashigo: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 6.
<DM>	$init s
<Navi>	The battle has begun!
<Navi>	ROUND 1: RiverRearguard (9), Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
<DM>	stats - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/thread-556.html
<DM>	*You are all still close enough to the river that they get their passives.*
<Alaxander>	(What does that mean?)
<DM>	*Also, did someone say "Let it rain" earlier?*
<Charizard>	(I did!)
<DM>	*Because just then, as the battle starts, it begins to rain. There's no clouds in the sky, just a starry night with a full moon, and yet it rains.*
<RiverGuard>	WHAT WITCHCRAFTERY IS THIS?!
<Alaxander>	Where did this rain come from!?
<RiverGuard>	I SHALL AVENGE YOU, PETE!
*	RiverGuard turns towards Alaxander.
<Alaxander>	You saw what I did to that other guard.
<DM>	*RiverGuard is suddenly paused.*
<Charizard>	"Damn, I should be a weatherman."
<DM>	*Planning Phase has started! Now setting enemy actions!*
<DM>	*10 minutes on timer.*
<DM>	$1d4
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 1 Die with 4 Sides. Result: 1. Total: 1.
<DM>	*Enemy actions set! Now send yours*
<Alaxander>	*sent mine*
<DM>	*Waiting on a Serra. Brb real fast.*
<DM>	(back)
<Charizard>	(front)
<Alaxander>	(Wb)
<Alaxander>	(Top.. :3)
<DM>	$turns
<Navi>	ROUND 1: RiverRearguard (9), Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
<DM>	*RiverRearguard fires an arrow at Serra! (Roll Courage) | $15d10
<RiverRearguard>	$15d10
<Navi>	RiverRearguard: You rolled 15 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 9, 7, 9, 4, 1, 5, 5, 7, 8, 5, 8, 10, 2 and 5. Total: 90. Successes: 13.
<Serra>	WHAT THE HELL?!
<Serra>	$7d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 7 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 3, 4, 9, 5, 1 and 4. Total: 31. Successes: 3.
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	((<Navi> RiverRearguard: You rolled 15 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 9, 7, 9, 4, 1, 5, 5, 7, 8, 5, 8, 10, 2 and 5. Total: 90. Successes: 13.))
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	((LUCKSACK))
*	Serra dies, and is revived by a Fairy.
<Serra>	3h
*	RiverRearguard manages to partially avenge his friend as he plunges an arrow deep into Serra's head. Her explodes before being revived by a fairy.
<Alaxander>	(Oh god what's going on, Too much code)
<RiverRearguard>	MADNESS! MADNESS I SAY!
<RiverRearguard>	?h
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended RiverRearguard's turn.
<Navi>	ROUND 1: RiverRearguard (9), Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
<DM>	* Alaxander uses Slice (Steel Sword) on Riverguard! |Courage|
<Alaxander>	$13d10
<Navi>	Alaxander: You rolled 13 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 2, 6, 3, 2, 2, 3, 1, 2, 5, 5, 10 and 10. Total: 55. Successes: 7.
<RiverGuard>	$7d10
<Navi>	RiverGuard: You rolled 7 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 1, 3, 4, 4, 5 and 5. Total: 28. Successes: 3.
*	RiverGuard is hit by Alaxander's sword slice!
<RiverGuard>	7 - 3 = 4 - 1 = 3 damage
*	RiverGuard takes a strong hit, but he prevails!
<RiverGuard>	3h
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended Alaxander's turn.
<Navi>	ROUND 1: RiverRearguard (9), Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
<DM>	*RiverGuard turns towards Alaxander. He raises his spear, and he thrusts it at him! (Roll Power) | $13d10, +2 damage
<RiverGuard>	$13d10
<Navi>	RiverGuard: You rolled 13 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 2, 9, 7, 7, 3, 4, 9, 9, 3, 4, 5 and 7. Total: 72. Successes: 7.
<RiverGuard>	THIS IS FOR PETE, YOU SINNER!
<Alaxander>	$8d10
<Navi>	Alaxander: You rolled 8 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 5, 4, 8, 10, 7, 3 and 5. Total: 46. Successes: 6.
*	RiverGuard manages to stab Alaxander just barely with the spear thrust!
<DM>	(got any armor?)
<Alaxander>	(i think?) (lemme check)
<Alaxander>	(nope)
<DM>	(3 damage)
<RiverGuard>	Take THAT!
<RiverGuard>	3h
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended RiverGuard's turn.
<Navi>	ROUND 1: RiverRearguard (9), Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
<DM>	<Iyaruka_Aetashigo> Attempting to fire a Metal Tipped Arrow at the readguard of the rearness of that redness. Why.
*	DM is totally copy+pasting.
<Alaxander>	*dies*
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	$15d10
<DM>	(wait, really?)
<Navi>	Iyaruka_Aetashigo: You rolled 15 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 3, 6, 3, 4, 1, 5, 4, 9, 5, 8, 7, 5, 1 and 9. Total: 71. Successes: 8.
<Alaxander>	-1 HP
<Alaxander>	(had 2/6 HP)
<DM>	(ah)
<RiverRearguard>	$9d10
<Navi>	RiverRearguard: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 10, 2, 4, 2, 2, 8, 4 and 4. Total: 46. Successes: 5.
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo rerolls self
<DM>	*Your arrow hits the Rearguard.*
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	$15d10
<Navi>	Iyaruka_Aetashigo: You rolled 15 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 4, 3, 10, 3, 4, 3, 4, 6, 5, 10, 4, 2, 1 and 10. Total: 70. Successes: 8.
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	...
*	DM throws a reroll at that.
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	$15d10
<Navi>	Iyaruka_Aetashigo: You rolled 15 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 8, 4, 2, 2, 1, 6, 2, 6, 6, 7, 8, 4, 10 and 8. Total: 78. Successes: 9.
<Alaxander>	(I HAVE A FAIRY!)
RiverGuard RiverRearguard
<DM>	*RiverGuard plunges his spear into Alaxander's heart. His heart stops beating for a moment, but a fairy revives him, causing the heart to beat so grandly, the RiverGuard is stunned by shenanigans.*
<DM>	*Meanwhile, an arrow hits the Rearguard.*
<RiverRearguard>	9 - 5 = 4 - 1 = 3 damage
<RiverRearguard>	Gah!
<RiverRearguard>	2h
<Alaxander>	HP 3/6
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	$endturn
<Charizard>	"I don't have a fairy." ;-;
<Navi>	Iyaruka_Aetashigo has ended their turn.
<Navi>	ROUND 1: RiverRearguard (9), Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	??h, ??m
<DM>	* Serra uses her Spear to stab at the River Guard. (Roll Courage) | $6d10 + 3 Damage
<Serra>	$6d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 6 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 10, 6, 4, 1 and 3. Total: 28. Successes: 3.
<DM>	(Charizard, you start with a fairy)
<RiverGuard>	$8d10
<Navi>	RiverGuard: You rolled 8 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 3, 9, 6, 2, 5, 7, 8 and 4. Total: 44. Successes: 5.
*	Serra rerolls self
*	RiverGuard staves off Serra's measly attack.
<Charizard>	(Oh, derp)
<Serra>	$6d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 6 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 9, 6, 3, 5 and 3. Total: 28. Successes: 3.
<Serra>	AS"G
<Serra>	ermkl;wser
*	DM throws freebie at that.
<Charizard>	(Must add "is a dumb lizafols" in profile)
<DM>	(reroll again)
<Serra>	$6d10
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 6 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 8, 1, 6, 1 and 2. Total: 22. Successes: 2.
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	((I swear, Navi hates us))
<Serra>	jkashertopgkweqg
*	RiverGuard just... defends against Serra's attack.
<Charizard>	"Serra, it's okay."
<RiverGuard>	3h
<Alaxander>	(YOU SON OF A GHOMA LIZFOLS!)
<DM>	(lulz)
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended Serra's turn.
<Navi>	ROUND 1: RiverRearguard (9), Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
<Charizard>	(DONT BE RACIST)
<Alaxander>	(/me runs)
<DM>	* Charizard uses Doran's Blade on RiverRearguard! (Courage)
<Charizard>	$6d10
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 6 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 6, 8, 7, 5 and 1. Total: 35. Successes: 5.
<RiverRearguard>	$9d10
<Navi>	RiverRearguard: You rolled 9 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 1, 3, 8, 3, 1, 1, 2 and 6. Total: 27. Successes: 2.
*	DM dies.
<DM>	wow
<Charizard>	(what can i say? navi loves lizafols)
<Alaxander>	(Charizard, Charizard2OPplzNerf)
RiverGuard RiverRearguard
<Charizard>	(no)
<DM>	*Charizard, in his first attack in an actual session, pulls off godly Navi skills and slices RiverRearguard into pieces, avenging his recently deceased Zora friend, Joe Bunschtag. The riverguard paints the pavement with blood, which is washed off by Joe's tears from the sky.*
<RiverRearguard>	$removeme
<Navi>	RiverRearguard has removed theirself from battle.
<Navi>	ROUND 1: Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
*	RiverRearguard is now known as X___X
<DM>	$endturn
<Navi>	DM has ended Charizard's turn.
<Navi>	ROUND 2: Alaxander (8), RiverGuard (8), Iyaruka_Aetashigo (6), Serra (3) and Charizard (3).
<RiverGuard>	Oh... oh CRAP!
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	((You guys will thank me later for landing a hit on that rearguard))
<RiverGuard>	No... No, please....
*	RiverGuard puts his spear down.
<Alaxander>	TOO BAD!
<RiverGuard>	Spare me please!
<Alaxander>	Should we?
<Serra>	Fine, we will
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	You probably should have said...
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	"Spear me"
*	Charizard looks in the sky and thinks... "Yo, I have avenged you, dude."
<Serra>	You were just doing your job after all
<DM>	*The sky high-fives you Charizard. Wut.*
<Serra>	We can't really blame you for attacking us
<Serra>	After all
<RiverGuard>	R-r-really?
<Serra>	It is Malek's fault
<Alaxander>	Oh?
<RiverGuard>	Malek... yes... his fault....
<Serra>	You ARE just working under him, correct?
<Alaxander>	I have been in a mini coma all this time.
*	RiverGuard falls to the ground.
<Charizard>	"Can we REALLY trust him?"
<RiverGuard>	He's gone greedy...
<RiverGuard>	I... I was just followin' orders... 'e ain't sane no more...
<DM>	*Suddenly, his speech patterns change. I WONDER IF IT'S ENOUGH TO GIVE HIM A NAME.*
*	DM removes voice from Iyaruka_Aetashigo
<Alaxander>	:o
<Serra>	Good job.
<Serra>	Now then
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo (~ThatOneGu@CPE-65-31-178-8.wi.res.rr.com) has left #zurpg
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo (~ThatOneGu@CPE-65-31-178-8.wi.res.rr.com) has joined #zurpg
*	ChanServ gives voice to Iyaruka_Aetashigo
<Alaxander>	(PLOT TWIST!!!! DM WAS IYARUKA!!)
<DM>	(god no)
<Serra>	What do you say, we end this charrade, and rest at that inn over there?
<RiverGuard>	T-t-the inn? Y-yeah, I'll... I'll get ya rested up there, real good, yeah!
<RiverGuard>	Just don't kill me, please!
<Serra>	Now then
*	RiverGuard is bowing down to you, Serra.
*	Serra helps the RiverGuard up
<Serra>	What is your name?
<RiverGuard>	Eh?
<RiverGuard>	My... my name...
<RiverGuard>	It's Trello.
<Alaxander>	Well, Trello, Why did you start working for Malek?
<DM>	*Suddenly, lightning strikes. Attracted by RiverGuard's name, it strikes him, sapping his lifeforce away.*
<RiverGuard>	GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
*	RiverGuard is now known as X_X
<Serra>	Wah?!
<DM>	*You hear a voice, following the lightning strike.*
<Alaxander>	OH SHIIIII
<DM>	[Voice]: Heh heh heh... you don't really think I'd let him sell me out, did you?
<Serra>	Lemme, guess
<Alaxander>	Hmm.. Good point
<Serra>	You're Malek?
<DM>	[Voice]: Hah! Of course! Who else would I be? Mwahahahahahh!
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	Did you know that Malek backwards is Kelam?
<Serra>	...Nergal, is that you?
<Serra>	I mean
<Serra>	Seriously
<Serra>	I've been through this multiple times
<Alaxander>	Ok, So like Malek, Why are you talking to us?
<DM>	[Malek]: Yes... I am Malek.
<Charizard>	"Hi."
<Serra>	You're some guy who's been corrupted to the point of no return, and so we must kill him
<DM>	[Malek]: I am informing you that if you are to resist me any further, I shall personally take you down myself.
<Alaxander>	Same.
<Charizard>	"I think Malek is a horrible name."
<DM>	[Malek]: Hahahah! Corruption, you say?!
<Serra>	Then the generic units, ala Alax and Charizard here, end up being the most useful units
<Serra>	While I'm stuck here, healing them constantly
<Serra>	And then we kill yolu
<Charizard>	"You said what now, Serra?"
<Serra>	And then a Fire Dragon shows up
<Serra>	And wrecks out shit
<Alaxander>	You can HEAL US!?
<Serra>	Only for Our main lord, in this case, Iyaruka or something
<Alaxander>	When DID YOU LEARN TO DO THAT!?
<Serra>	To wrekc that dragon's shit
<Charizard>	"She's making a fool out of us, Alaxander."
<DM>	[Malek]: It is the YOUNG ones who are corrupt, like you all! They were the ones that incited the witchcraft! So I have taken it upon myself to rid the town of them!
<Serra>	Nah, you're wrong, I COULD heal you...but I left my Heal Staff somewhere.
<Alaxander>	Oh..
<Charizard>	"I'm not corrupted, ya old geezer!"
<Charizard>	"Respect the young!"
<Serra>	Geez, next thing you know, Zephiel is gonna get corrupt
<DM>	[Malek]: Heh... well then... call off the rain storm. I know it was you.
<Alaxander>	Well Mr.Lizfols.. I had an accident...
<Alaxander>	I might be corrupted..
<Charizard>	"I'm a weather(lizard)man."
<Serra>	Now then
<DM>	[Malek]: And let the sun shine upon our great town once again!
<Serra>	As an evil tyrant
*	Iyaruka_Aetashigo just walks back down to the tunnel?
<Serra>	Don't you think it'd be fair to let us prepare before we fought you?
<Serra>	After all
<Serra>	Your power would be even higher if you killed us at our full potential
<DM>	[Malek]: No... you've already done enough! You've brought darkness to my town! YOU are the ones that shall pay!
<Charizard>	"Where are you going Iyaruka? We need you."
<Alaxander>	Malek, Oh?
<Alaxander>	WE BROUNG DARKNESS!?
<Serra>	Yeah yeah, whatever, just don't end up killing your daughter or something
<DM>	[Malek]: Soon, I shall have my men surround you... and I will destroy you myself! Mwahahahahahah!
<Charizard>	"Hey man, I'm just a visitor, okay. Is this how you treat them? You threaten to kill them? This town sucks."
<DM>	*The voice stops.*
<Serra>	Well
<Serra>	I need a Heal Staff
<Serra>	Crap
<Serra>	Anyways
<DM>	Oh yeah.....
<Alaxander>	Good point MrLizfols. Also, What's your name anyway, Mr.Lizfols?
<DM>	$init r
<Charizard>	"She's false advertising herself!"
<Navi>	DM: The bot has been reset.
<DM>	+12 EXP
<Serra>	He said he'll have the men surround us "Soon".
<DM>	+$12d8 Rupees
<DM>	$3d3
<Iyaruka_Aetashigo>	$12d8
<Navi>	DM: You rolled 3 Dice with 3 Sides. Result: 3, 1 and 2. Total: 6.
<Navi>	Iyaruka_Aetashigo: You rolled 12 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 2, 8, 2, 5, 6, 6, 3, 1, 2, 6, 3 and 7. Total: 51.
<Charizard>	"It is Charizard, young one."
<Serra>	Meaning it's only a matter of time before they appear
<Serra>	In other words
<Serra>	Let's go shopping before they show up~
<Alaxander>	*puts on assplate: blocks anything from getting near by butt*
<DM>	http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/thread-10-post-19.html#pid19 --> A Restoration Heart, a Magic Jar, and a Reroll Point drop
<Charizard>	$12d8
<Navi>	Charizard: You rolled 12 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 4, 2, 7, 8, 6, 3, 3, 7, 1, 5, 6 and 7. Total: 59.
<Alaxander>	Dibs on magic jar
*	Serra takes the Reroll point
<Serra>	$12d8
<Navi>	Serra: You rolled 12 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 1, 8, 8, 4, 6, 3, 4, 7, 4, 2, 7 and 2. Total: 56.
<Alaxander>	Actually, Gice it to the Fols
<Charizard>	eh?
<DM>	*As for items, two Spears, three River Platemails, a Bow, Metal Tipped Arrows, and Buckler all drop. Grab 'em from the guards' profiles - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/thread-556.html
<Charizard>	*"Eh?"
*	Alaxander takes a restore heart
<Alaxander>	River platemail: dibs on it, For real.
<Alaxander>	(Er, Noone knows what dibs mean now do they in this time..)
<DM>	*There's a nearby inn. It's no longer guarded by... guards.*
<Serra>	Well now
*	Alaxander takes River Plate
<Serra>	TO THE INN!
*	Serra rushes off to the inn before the guards show up
<Alaxander>	Alright!
<Charizard>	"I leveled up!"
<Alaxander>	$12d8
<Navi>	Alaxander: You rolled 12 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 7, 7, 8, 1, 5, 1, 2, 8, 8, 2, 1 and 8. Total: 58.
<DM>	*Serra, you rush to the inn. There doesn't appear to be anyone inside, conveniently.*
<Serra>	YAY
*	Serra flops on one of the beds and sleeps
<Charizard>	<Navi> Charizard: You rolled 12 Dice with 8 Sides. Result: 4, 2, 7, 8, 6, 3, 3, 7, 1, 5, 6 and 7. Total: 59.
*	Charizard laughs at Alaxander
<Charizard>	"Can I call dibs on the Bow and Metal Tipped Arrows?"
<DM>	*Does Charizard and Alaxander follow Serra to the inn?*
<Charizard>	"H-hey wait up Serra!"
<Alaxander>	*I do*
<DM>	*The two of you loot the guards' bodies and get to the inn.*
<DM>	*Serra hath already passed out.*
<Charizard>	"...She didn't even do anything to get tired."
<DM>	*Except, maybe... DIE.*
<Charizard>	"She'd be hopeless without me."
<DM>	*Death is pretty tiring, you know. The body isn't exactly used to it.*
<Alaxander>	*Jeesh, I am sleepy.. Dieing and mini coma thing..*
<Charizard>	"It's 'dying', bro."
*	Serra continues sleeping
<Serra>	(GUYS, I MUST UISETHE BATHROOM)
<Charizard>	"She snores..."
<Serra>	(SO BRB)
<Serra>	rebgwer
<Serra>	bgwer
<Serra>	g
<Serra>	werg
<DM>	*The three of you pass out at the inn.*
<DM>	*As you sleep, you dream of darkness. Suddenly, white text appears, and the nightmare begins....
<DM>	-=LOADING=-
<DM>	-=LOADING=-
<DM>	-=LOADING=-
<DM>	-=QUEST PAUSE=-