--This is my first review ever, and I feel like I need to tell you this because I KNOW how much you care.--



As of writing this review, I have only watched one episode of this series.

However, it was already clear to me from the very beginning that this anime, Sword Art Online, would be the greatest series of all time.

You see, I, the great Adair, am bestowed upon with the great power of time travel. Like many others before me, I have traveled to the future to witness Sword Art Online become the most successful, engaging, and just downright phenomenal series ever made. So, without further ado, here is my completely unbiased, scientifically analyzed, and 100% helpful review for this fantastic anime, Sword Art Online.


Story: 10/10
First, a completely unnecessary and pointless summary of the plot, because every awesome MAL review needs one. By the way, it is in no way similar to the plot summary already shown on MAL. Ohhhhhh, no. This will give much more important and relevant information about this highly engrossing series, such as the fact that the sky is, in fact, blue.

The only way to escape is to 'clear' the game. Death in game means actual 'death' ----The ten thousand THE SKY IS BLUE who have logged onto the as of yet mysterious game 'Sword Art Online' using their Nerve Gear have been forced into this perilous death game and are trapped inside.Protagonist Kirito, one of the THE GRASS IS GREEN many gamers, has greeted this 'truth'.
He plays as a solo player in the giant castle that is the stage for this game ---- 'Aincrad'. To meet the conditions of clearing the game and leaving this twisted virtual world, he must get through KIRITO HAS DARK HAIR all 100 floors. Will Kirito have what it takes to clear the game, or will he die trying?


Okay, now on to the actual review part, which is equally informative and brilliant as the informative and brilliant plot summary (no thanks to MAL, of course) written above.

Just by watching the first 5 seconds of this episode, I could already tell how intricate and clever this anime's plot will be. When the unnamed reporter expresses in a high-pitched voice how excited she is about the new game, Sword Art Online, it obviously foreshadows how amazingly amazing this anime will become. The fact the Kirito and the other players are unable to logout of the game is THE MOST EPIC PLOT TWIST EVAR, and it clearly shows that this series will have an enormous abundance of highly unexpected and well-done plot twists. Seriously. I never saw it coming. I mean, it's not like this plot point wasn't already clearly mentioned in the terribly written MAL summary (for which I had to provide a much better substitute, thank you very much.) or anything. Basically, this ENTIRE ANIME is good. The beginning was good. The ending was good. Every single plot twist throughout the WHOLE SERIES was absolutely godly. Seriously, this is my favorite series OF ALL TIME. The story beats out Code Geass, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica, or any other series with a plot. It has more symbolism than fucking NGE, and I haven't even seen NGE. But you know me: I know everything, even if I haven't even seen it yet! Psychic, right here. Anyways, this ENTIRE STORY is just simply amazing! FUCKING BADASS!


Characters: 10/10
Kirito is the most fascinating and well-developed main character I have ever seen, hands down. I mean, the changes he goes through in this series are just brilliant. He starts from being this loner kid playing a video game, to a kid playing a video game who meets a friend! Now isn't that something. That's right, folks. You don't see HARDCORE CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT like that every day. Another well-developed character was Klein. We learn so much about him in this series, like the fact that he lives alone, and that he ordered pizza at 5:30. I mean, really! What more could you ask for in a character? Other especially interesting characters include Unnamed Girl With Sword, Unnamed Guy #1, Unnamed Guy #2, and so on, and so on! I feel like I know each of these characters personally from watching this amazing series about them. Absolutely brilliant! FUCKING BADASS!


Art: 10/10
I don't actually know anything about art, so I'll just pretend I do and talk on and on about how great I thought the animation and the backgrounds and the character designs and the grass and the sky and the pebbles and that one strand of hair on Kirito's head were! ALL AMAZING! Ten out of ten! FUCKING BADASS!


Music: 10/10
FUCKING BADASS!


Enjoyment: 10/10
I LURVE THIS WHOLE ANIME YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SUGOI DESU UGU UGU UGU NYA~~~~~~~~~ FUCKING BADASS!!!!111


Overall: 10/10
What else can I say? Sword Art Online is the best anime I have ever seen in my entire life. Also, this is where I'll leave you with a message saying how I will update this when the whole series finishes airing. But to hell with that! Who needs a full review? Since I have the ability to travel to the future and determine that, YES, this ENTIRE SHOW is GOD-TIER, why would I ever need to update this? Just hit the fucking "helpful" button already! Because YOU KNOW how helpful this review was.

In conclusion, I recommend this to everyone. I recommend this to you, your mom, your dad, your siblings, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your cousins, your second cousins, your third cousins, your spouse, your other spouse, your dog, your cat, your car, your house, your Xbox, your dick....EVERYONE! I MEAN IT!!!!!!11

Oh, and even if you click this as "unhelpful", FEAR NOT! I shall click my own review as "helpful", because, let's face it. Who doesn't?

And on that note, I'd like to end this with a very special word. A wise, wise old sage once told me that, "Any review that ends in the word, 'fuck', is an amazing review."

Well, this is clearly an amazing god-tier review, so FUCK.