nobita: i felt a change in the wind
doraemon: whats got you down noby
nobita: theres a foul change in the wind. some new entity has come to our happy house.
doraemon: oh. thats weird. want a creamsicle?
noby: *takes the creamsicle* anyways... wait... look!
*they look*
*kronk is bumbling about searching for something, doing his sensitive sensual sumptuous sneak through the world, making zoo noises*
noby: whats he after
doraemon: who the fuck is that guy
noby: shh. this doesnt look good.
*kronk climbs a wall and balances supremely on the alley, leaping over buildings*
both, together: A BURGLAR
doraemon: this is bad
noby: tail him!
*they tail him*
doraemon: *reaches into his pouch and pulls out military grade walkie talkies* i got these as souvenirs in back in nam
noby: theyll have to do. shh, sh
*kronk is clearly really into his morning ritual. theres a lever in someones backyard that triggers the water supply or whatever. kronks eyes alight and he makes a beeline*
noby: *sneaking around a corner opposite the way doraemon is going* shit dude! ill head him off
kronk: *jazz noises*
doraemon: way ahead of you bucko *emerges from the underbrush and attempts to tackle the towering muscular man, whose muscles and thighs quake and twitch with every motion, hypnotically, like they were made of cottage cheese* hiya!!!
kronk: whoa *catches him mid tackle in one oversized hand*
noby: *turns the corner and does yuyu hakusho guns at kronk* freeze motherfucker!
doraemon: im dora-
kronk: this is so wei-
doraemon: SHUT UP! IM DORAEMON AND YOU BURGLED THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOOD, TRAITROROUS SCUM
doraemon: im doraemon
*they struggle*
kronk: *tosses him over his shoulder* *to noby* hey i dont know who you think you are but im well versed in the basics of cqc so uh
*they spar majestically. kronk busts out his best wrestling moves and easily pins the shrimpy child*
kronk: okay anyways, ive got to pull that lever now
doraemon: *jumps down off the roof* not so fast, muffin top!
*doraemon holds aloft a weird device that looks like something that at once handcuffs you and cuts off your hands. like a tenga egg, but for hands*
doraemon: this heres the patented anti-leverpullization-ometer. one false move and your line cook days are over
kronk: uh oh
noby: *still pinned* just turn and walk away man, hell do it
doraemon: im a few tacos short of a quesarito box man, ill do it
noby: you wont like him when hes angry
doraemon: im a loose canon
noby: hes the smartest guy in the room (note: the smartest guy in the room is always egon)
kronk: ok... ok. easy does it
doraemon: the highway is three miles that way *points* keep walking
*kronk backs away, does some brief crossfit exercises, then resumes his jog to hog's grounds*