Pinkie Party

>Day funshot in Equestria
>You wake up to the sound of a cannon firing
>Seconds later you are hit with a pink pony and go flying off the bed like a clown in a circus act
>She sits on your chest as you groan in pain
>"Hiya Nonno!"
>This is Pinkie Pie
>She's been doing this since you got this house
>You decided to stop repairing the window after the first week
Hey...get off.
>She steps off you
>You sit up and stretch
>Good, nothing broken
What do you want Pinkie?
>You stand
>"To have FUN!"
>At the word fun you see an explosion of confetti behind her
>How does she do that?
>Rule one: Do not question the Pinkie Pie.
What did you have in mind?
>"A PARTY!"
>She zooms out the window like a bird on massive amounts of radioactive cocaine
What the fuck?
>Remember rule one
>Oh right
>You shrug and head to the bathroom for your daily routine
>The sink is fucked. Shit's broken, the water doesn't come out of it anymore
>So you skip shaving
>You go downstairs and see a tray of cupcakes with a note
>It reads: "Hiya Nonno! I baked these for you last night! Enjoy!"
>You smile and grab one
>You eat it as you head out to find her
>She always gets in trouble and you'd hate to lose a good friend
>You see her talking to Derpy who is sitting on a cloud
Hey Pinkie!
>Suddenly pink pone pokes your side
>You look down to her
>Then back to Derpy who is looking around confused as a jackrabbit in a tootoo at a strip club
>Rule one
I'm gonna come with you to make sure you stay out of trouble.
>She smiles brighter than the sun on steriods
>"Okie Dokie Lokie!"
>You walk with the bouncing pony to Twilight's tree
>You don't give a shit if it's a house or a library, you see a tree
>She knocks
>Twilight opens the door
>"Hiya Twi!"
>"Oh. Hey Pinkie. And Anon?"
Just tagging along.
>"Okay. What's up Pinkie?"
>She pulls out an invitation from her poofy mane and gives it to her
>Twilight reads it aloud
>"You're invited to Pinkie's super mega awesome blasta pasta party."
>She sighs
>"When is it?"
>"This afternoon!"
>Twilight looks at Pinkie with a sad look on her face
>"This afternoon? As in this afternoon this afternoon?"
>"Yeah silly!"
>"I don't know Pinkie...I have stuff to do."
>She apologizes and leaves
>You leave for the farm
>Pinkie rubs next to you on the way there
>"Nonny~"
What?
>"Can you do something for me?"
It depends.
>"I just want you to pet me..."
>She looks up at you with her cute face that could bring out a smile from the depths of Satan's asshole
Oh fine.
>She squees and drags you to a hill
>She sits down in the grass and so do you
>She scoots up close to you and lays down, resting her head in your lap
>You run your fingers through her poofy mess of a mane
>Surprisingly enough, no tangles
>She smiles as you scratch into her flanks when you reach them with a stroke
>You run your hand back up her and she shivers
>You continue this with that hand and with your other you scratch behind her ear
>It flaps every once in a while and you find it adorable
>She giggles slightly when you reach her midsection
>Is she...ticklish?
>You stop at her middle and dig your fingers in a little
>She laughs and squirms her body like an eel suffering from withdrawal of methamphetamine
You're ticklish!
>You roll her over and tickle her into submission
>Literal submission, she pisses herself
>You dodge the stream smooth as a baby sliding across the hospital floor with a tidal wave of placenta fluid
>You stop and she is blushing madly
>"I didn't mean to...did I get any on you?"
>You shake your head
C'mon lets keep going.
>She gets up and you get to the farm
>AJ walks over to you
>"How may Ah help ya Anon n Pinkie?"
>Pinkie pulls another invitation from her mane and hands it to her
>How the fuck...you just had your fingers in her mane and you didn't feel a thing!
>Wait wait. Rule one
>She reads it and looks back up with the expression of a dying baby giraffe's mother
>"Ah dunno...when is it?"
>"This afternoon!"
>Again the same response
>"This afternoon this afternoon? Ah can't Pinkie...Ah got a bunch of apples to pick."
>Pinkie sighs and hangs her head
>You and her walk away
>"Anonymous..."
>Oh shit on a dicksickle
>Rule two: When Pinkie calls you by your full name, something is wrong.
What's wrong?
>She looks up at you with tears in her eyes
>"This happened before...nopony wanted to come to my party..."
You don't know if Rainbow, Rarity, or...Fluttershy won't come right?
>She sighs
>"I hope they can..."
>You go to Carousel Boutique
>Same damn conversation
>Pinkie slumps lower as you walk to Fluttershy's cottage
>You knock and Fluttershy opens her door
>You smell something awful and look past her
>Discord is ramming Rainbow on the couch
>Fuck...you wish you could unsee that
>Fluttershy steps out and closes the door faster than the flash can cum
>"OH ANON! I KNEW YOU'D LOVE ME SOMEDAY!"
>She wraps around your waist kissing where your jimmyjohn is
Woah woah woah. Not why I'm here.
>She lets go
>"O-oh..."
>She notices Pinkie
>"S-so...are threesomes your f-fetish?"
Hey Fluttershy.
>"Y-yes?"
Shut up.
>You step aside and let Pinkie come up to her
>She pulls out another invitation and gives it to Flutters
>"Oh g-goodness...I'm not f-feeling so w-well..."
>She fakes a cough
>"I w-wouldn't want to get you s-sick Pinkie..."
>Pinkie sighs
>"Oh alright. Do you know where Rainbow Dash is?"
>She coughs again
>"She's inside w-with the same sickness as m-me."
>"Oh..."
>Fluttershy sighs in relief when Pinkie turns around
>"Well come on Anon. Let's go to my place."
>You glare at Fluttershy and mouth 'I will end you'
>She mouths back 'Brool story co'
>Wait what?
>She closes her door and you catch up with the basically dragging against the ground Pinkie
Are you okay?
>"Can I ask you something?"
Shoot.
>"Why don't my friends like me?"
>Huhwhat?
What do you mean? Of course they like you!"
>"They won't even come to my party..."
>You put a reassuring hand on her
They like you Pinkie. No in fact they love you! I love you!
>She giggles for a second and then gets a really bright smile
>Suddenly she tackles you
>"OhmygoshIknewyoudidohIwaitedforthisdaysinceyoucamehereIloveyousomuchAnon!"
>Hory sheet what have you done
>Then you realize what you said
>You push her off you and stand up
Now hold on a minute. I meant as a friend Pinkie.
>She blushes so hard she starts to look orange
>"Oh...well I guess you know now..."
>She kicks at the ground saddened by the news
But that's no reason to be sad! We still have a party to do!
>She smiles again
>"Let's go!"
>In a flash of colors you are at her house
>There is a cake and much other party stuff
>You spend up until night time playing games and dancing with gummy and Pinkster
>All in all a good party
>You walk to the stairs to leave when Pinkie calls out
>"You know you can stay...if you want..."
>You turn around and see her laying down on her bed presenting herself to you
>Rule one...
>You jump in bed and have sweet consensual sex in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation
>You lay in bed next to her and she snuggles your side
>Today was an okay day.