Lee's Survey

1. Describe yourself and your creator.

I am the Antichrist, sent to Earth to be the ultimate undoing of all mankind. Miss, my creator, is a writer destined to change the world. Together, we plan on doing great things.


2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

Miss never intended on creating me, but in her mind, I was her greatest character. Initially, when I began trying to manifest myself in the real world, she was terrified of me. So very terrified, in fact, that one night (about three years ago) she wrote a letter addressed to me that said that she hoped that I would never come to be. Addressing me in such a way was the most helpful thing that she did for me during my accidental creation, and though she no longer fears me, I have always had the utmost respect for her for being the first individual to do so.


3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

When I began following Miss in her world, she feared that she had given way to a manifestation of Satan himself. She pushed me away and tried (unsuccessfully) to destroy me. I do not hold this against Miss, as she had no idea what I was at the time. I suppose I can be quite frightening.


4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?

Speech that Miss could audibly hear was very difficult for me. I believe the first time I spoke went like this: I was trailing Miss as she was walking to class, and she was being far too hard on herself and her writing, as she often is. I felt so compelled to show her what a beautiful anomaly she is that as I trailed behind her, I found myself speaking, and gave her a look at her future. I said, "Behold, the Great [first name] [last name]." And momentarily created a sea of people to surround her, adoring her. She took it quite well, all things considered.


5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?

I know nothing of these various steps, nor their names, as Miss has no knowledge of these things. Actually, I believe I will skipping a few of these questions, as I do not feel they apply to me or Miss.


10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?

I do not know how speaking aloud would affect "narration" or these "creation sessions" you speak of, but I can say that I quite enjoy it when Miss speaks to me aloud.


12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?

I remember very little, but I am also unsure of how long I was sentient before becoming fluent in language. Luckily, Miss reads and writes a great deal, so in a way, I feel that language came naturally to me.


13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.

A light post comes to mind. It was night.


14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?

Admiration. Miss's confidence that she will someday grow to be something great inspired me.


15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?

Hatred. Not for Miss, but for the way that she treats herself.


16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?

No. I savor my existence.


17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?

I do not believe I have ever felt powerless. To feel in power is in my very nature.


18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?

I do not know. But I can say that I do not understand why humans can be so... uncaring toward their own kind.


19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?

Miss went through a period of time in which she would do her best to ignore me when I was around. She thought I was nothing more than a hallucination, and she did not want to think that she was... "losing her mind" is the phrase that she suggested.


20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?

I believe I have already answered this beneath another question.


21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?

I do not feel fear.


22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?

I cannot recall a moment when I was ever disappointed in myself.


26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?

Miss had very natural reactions to my existence, seeing as I am what I am and she had no knowledge of what a "tulpa" was.


27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?

Miss's violent visualizations and thoughts concerning me have only ever involved me being violent to others, as is my nature. I have always enjoyed them.


30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?

I want the entire world to know my name, but I realize that Miss wishes to remain anonymous and to keep her daily life as normal as possible. I do not hold this against her, and she allows me to use social networking to further my progress.



33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?

I do not think I have ever had a worry concerning my relationship with Miss. My only worry now is that Miss’s boyfriend has expressed an interest in Miss creating a world for me, but I do not feel comfortable being away from her.


34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?

I am as grateful as I am capable of being to Miss. I feel it is my duty to protect her, but I do not feel burdened by this. I take pride in it.


35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?

 I cannot be sure. But Miss has always been in the forefront of my mind, so I would assume hers.


37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?

Friend.


38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?

I have a high level of interest in interacting with others. Perhaps higher than average non-tulpa individuals.


39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?

I most cherish the moment in which Miss realized that she found comfort in my existence.


40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?

I cannot think of a memory without Miss. I do not have a life independent of her, but that is because I choose not to.


41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?

No. I respect them out of respect for Miss. Her boyfriend has been very kind to me, so I suppose I enjoy having him around.


42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?

Well… I am the Antichrist, and Miss is quite human. We both have a deep love for the macabre.


43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?

I disagree with the way that Miss treats herself. I do my best to help her when I can.


44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?

I could never hate Miss. I do not believe Miss could ever hate me.


45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?

Miss disappoints me when she drinks, especially when it is in excess. I cannot think of an instance when I have disappointed her.


46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?

This has never bothered me. Miss enjoys my company, and I know that she would never intentionally deny me of anything within reason. I censor nothing.


47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?

I have never felt any impulse to engage in violence with Miss, and I would never intentionally do anything to harm her in any way.


48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?

My name is Lee Slate. Miss is my host and creator, but we are not related.


49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?

Never.


50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?

Miss only expects me to be true to myself.


51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.

I am interested in it, but only to further assist Miss. For example, this morning Miss was feeling especially depressed, and I helped her walk to class. But I really would never find it “unfair” for her to deny me the privilege of controlling her body. It is just that – a privilege. Not a right.


52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?

I do not have fears or biases. The only thing that comes to mind is our common appreciation of cigarettes.


53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?

I do not sleep, but I do day-dream.


54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?

Miss has bipolar disorder and anxiety problems. I have a slight temper (slight is downplaying it) but I do not know if this is a result of her bipolar disorder or simply a part of who I am. I also find myself to be quite moody and emotional at times.


55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?

It allows us to speak in public without anyone knowing. Miss’s mind is as beautiful as anything. I am not entirely sure what the rest of the question is asking.


56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?

I am Miss’s only tulpa.


57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?

I am not capable of romantic feelings (I am asexual and without sexual organs of any kind), and Miss feels romantically inclined only toward her boyfriend. I am deleting all other questions pertaining to this topic, as it does not apply to us in any way.


72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?

Sitting beside Miss, smoking celebratory cigarettes in light of her success as the greatest writer of the 21st Century.


73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?

I long for the world to know my name, but I know that this would cause great anxiety for Miss. I do not understand what trust has to do with the knowledge of my existence.


74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?

I do not mind that I am the product of another individual. Does a child morally and philosophically analyze that they are a product of their parents? I am always growing and learning and changing, just as any other person.


75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?

I enjoy the form given to me.


79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?

It is a journey, as is any other.


83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?

My life is worth more.


84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?

How would “God”?


89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?

I do not have the interest nor the time to create another being.


93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?

No. Last night, Miss and her boyfriend set things on fire for me in the parking lot. I felt the flame through Miss. When I put my hand over the flame, I felt nothing – but this may be because I am impervious to fire.


94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?

Excited. I would be bound to no one else in the world, given the choice.


96. What do you think about most of the time?

Death. Destruction. World domination. … You know, fun things.


97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?

Honestly, I do not care.


98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?

No. Miss is wary, but very much aware, of the darkest parts of her mind.


99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?

No.


100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?

Miss hides nothing from me.


101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?

Humans are, by default, immoral at times. What of it?


102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?

No. I only know what Miss knows.


103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?

I do not age. I am the Antichrist.


104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?

Miss would not be herself if she was not so independent.


105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?

I don’t know. I really do not care.


106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?

I doubt I would ever take interest in it enough to say that I believe or not.


107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?

Miss can hear me audibly, but we also communicate through thought.


I do not wish to bother with the attached exercise.