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Mad_Sandwich

RAINBRO - Booze Run

Jul 25th, 2014
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  1. >Day ALCHAMAHOL in Equestria.
  2. >Chilling on your couch with Rainbro.
  3. >"Hey, uh, anon?"
  4. Yeah?
  5. >"You got any more booze?"
  6. >You glance over at the blue pony. She's staring into an empty bottle of Applejack Daniels with a sad look that only a seasoned alcoholic would sport.
  7. Nope.
  8. >"Darn. I'm not even buzzed yet!"
  9. Actually, lemme take a look around.. might be some somewhere..
  10. >You sluggishly get up and stumble around your house, looking for any sign of booze.
  11. I'm sure I had some more hooch around here somewhere... where are you, you little bastard?
  12. >As you stumble around the room, angrily mumbling and attempting to rip the lightswitch panel off the wall, Rainbow Dash shoots up from the couch, a look of inspiration on her face.
  13. >"Oh! I just remembered that AJ said she had tons of extra cider! Lets go mooch some from her!"
  14. Cider? I thought she only sold that at certain times of the year?
  15. >"Uh, yeah.. But she keeps a secret stash for herself, and she sells some to friends."
  16. >You stop trying to pull the lightswitch from the wall, and head towards the door.
  17. Sounds like a plan. I'll deal with that sneaky bastard bottle later..
  18. >As you both leave, a cupboard door swings open in your kitchen, revealing your missing bottle of booze.
  19.  
  20. Holy fuck! Did Big Mac drop a barrel of cider or something?
  21. >AJ's cellar, or rather, AJ's hidden booze shop, stunk of booze. The strong smell stings your eyes, making them teary.
  22. >Empty bottles of Applejack Daniels are strewn everywhere, and even a few cider kegs have been smashed.
  23. AJ? You there?
  24. >You heard something shuffle behind the counter, then..
  25. >"Wuh?"
  26. >Applejack pops up from behind the counter. "Well, if it ishn't Nonymoush and Dashie! What are -hic- y'all... uh.. doing here!"
  27. >Dash leaned over, and whispers in your ear.
  28. >"Anon. She's fucking smashed off her tits."
  29. I noticed.
  30. >AJ perks up as RD speaks, then leans forward, an indignant look on her face.
  31. >"Ah ain't drunksh! Ah only had..-" she starts trying to count on her hoofs, "Four barrelsh of cider!"
  32. >She grins proudly.
  33. FOUR BARRELS?! How are you even fucking alive right now?
  34. >"Thatsh nothing! Big... um... Big Mac hash drunk 9 barrelsh!" she slurred, as Big Mac slowly slid off one of the shelves behind her.
  35. >As she continued murmuring on about Apples and other farm shit, Dash slammed her hoof on the table.
  36. >"That's real nice, but we wanna buy some cider!"
  37. >AJ stares at her for a few seconds, then finally realises.
  38. >"Oh! Of courshe!" She lifts a barrel onto the counter, wobbling all the way.
  39. >"That'll be..-", she makes another failed maths attempt, "20 bits!"
  40. >Dash starts to point towards the sign that says "Barrel - 50 bits", but is stopped by you whispering aggressively into her ear.
  41. Dashie, shut the fuck up!
  42. >You hand the 20 bits over, and grab your keg of booze.
  43. >"Anon, I don't like doing that to a friend. She was fucking hammered in there. It's like taking advantage of her, or something."
  44. >You shrug.
  45. Eh, if it makes you feel better, I'll drop the other 30 bits off tomorrow.
  46. >She nods, then continues along.
  47.  
  48. >You open the door.
  49. >On your sofa is the lost bottle of hooch, resting against a pillow, the TV reflecting off the brown glass of the bottle.
  50. How the fuck did that get there?
  51. >You walk up to the couch. As RD starts uncorking the barrel, you reach for the bottle of hooch.
  52. >It falls over, and rolls inbetween the couch cushions.
  53. Not this time, you little-
  54. >You thrust your hand inbetween the cushions, and find absolutely nothing.
  55. What the fuck? Where the fuck did it-
  56. >You rip the cushions up. Nothing. The bottle is gone.
  57. Bastard...
  58. >You rearrange the couch cushions, muttering angrily to yourself.
  59. >As you settle back on the couch with RD, cider in hand, the kitchen cupboard door slowly closes, the brown glint of a bottle shining out from inside.
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