Camping

>Camping in Equestria.
>As you walk down the street a sound attracts your attention.
>The sound of hooves clopping.
>Turn around to see Berry Punch and Fluttershy running up to you.
>Fucking great.
>Fluttershy takes flight and crashes into your chest at the same time Berry takes your legs.
>The world has turned 90 degrees and now you lay on the ground with two ponies on you.
>Fluttershy is really close to your face.
>She kisses your nose.
>Throw her off you and kick off Berry.
>Then you stand up and look down at them.
"What do you two want?"
>Fluttershy smiles at you, "I hope camping is your fetish!"
"Oh YOU BETTER NOT HA-"
>Applejack trots up and slaps a backpack on you.
>"Woowhee Anon! Get ready for some good ol' fashion campin!"
"God fucking damn it."
>...
>You now sit with Applejack, Berry, and Fluttershy at a camping activity similar to one that would be for boy scouts.
>They forced you to wear a green vest thing and now Princess Luna stands in front of everyone.
>She seems to be collecting her thoughts before she speaks.
"Applejack what the fuck are we doing here anyway?"
>"They said this is a competition! The group who lasts the longest camping in the spooky forest wins!"
"Well what do they win?"
>"Each member that made it gets a medal! Aint that swell?"
>Fuck.
>There seems to be two other teams.
>One team wearing deep purple is made up of Spike, Cloudchaser, Mayor Mare, Scootaloo, and Snowflake.
>To the left is another team with bright orange on.
>In that team is Rainbow, Blossomforth, Mr. Cake, Pinkie Pie, and Sweetie Belle.
>You look back to your team.
>Fluttershy is smiling too happily at you, Applejack looks around at the other groups and then to you with a tiny smile, and Berry pulls her hoof out of her nose, smells it, then licks it.
"Why don't we have five team members like the others Applejack?"
>She groans while rolling her eyes, "We do."
>As if on cue Derpy falls on her face in between AJ and you, the impact snapping the log you're sitting on in two.
>It launches AJ in the air and makes you bounce.
>AJ falls on her butt in front of you and you help her up with a hand.
>She glares at Derpy.
>Derpy waves a hoof above her head to shoo away the stars that swirl it.
>She then looks to both of you, "Sorry. I just don't know what went wrong."
>The sound of AJ's teeth grinding sends shivers down your spine.
>Derpy puts on a green vest like the rest of you.
>From the orange team, Sweetie Belle takes out some gum she was chewing on and puts it on the back of the chair she is sitting on.
>"I'm gonna go use the outhouse!"
>She runs over to the tiny outhouse a little bit away.
>Rainbow sits on Sweetie's chair because it is more comfortable than the ground or the logs.
>She stretches out and her hoof touches the gum.
>In disgust she gets off the chair and wipes the gum on the seat.
>Mr. Cake sees her leave the chair and goes over to sit down on it instead of the log.
>When he does, the gum sticks to his butt.
>He peels it off his ass and smears it on the ground in front, then returns to the log.
>Blossomforth comes down from flying and sees an empty seat.
>She goes over and sits down.
>Her hoof touches the gum on the ground and she makes a disgusted face.
>She pulls it from her hoof and rubs it on the back of the chair, going to take a seat next to Mr. Cake.
>The door to the outhouse opens and Sweetie Belle skips back over, sits on the chair, takes the gum from the back of the chair, and puts it in her mouth.
>She turns to the side throwing up.
>Well then.
>A loud cough directs your attention to the front.
>Princess Luna stands tall looking out at all of you.
>"Hello and welcome to the Camping Competition! In this competition your objective is to see how long you can last in the spooky forest!"
>She points a hoof to the forest to the side which seems to fade to fog.
>"Each team has a designated campsite down a path. Orange is behind me, purple is to the right, and green is to the left."
>Got it, going left.
>"When you get to the campsite you should get ready as quickly as possible because the challenge starts at sundown."
>You look up and see the sun nearing the horizon already.
>"This is not your average camping competition. No... It wouldn't be a competition without an actual challenge!"
>She flies up to attract more attention to herself.
>"Fog will grow thicker at night time. Guards will randomly walk around hidden in the fog. If they capture you when you are outside of your campsite, you are eliminated."
>Ten guards come out from the fog.
>God damn.
>You didn't even see them there.
>Better watch out for that.
>"To win the competition, you must be the last team left inside your campsite at morning."
>She points to a guard with a megaphone
>"He will use this to announce when a team or team member has been eliminated. You cannot be the only one left on your team to win. There has to be at least one other pony with you to win."
>She lands back on the ground and looks to everyone.
>"Any questions?"
>A hoof goes up in orange team.
>She nods and then Sweetie Belle asks, "The fog is the only challenge, r-right?"
>Luna giggles and then shakes her head.
>"Also beware of creatures that may wander into the campsite."
>As fast as it appeared, her smile fades.
>"Alright, teams are you ready?"
>All forms of agreement are heard around.
>"GO!"
>You begin to walk to the left pathway with Applejack and Derpy leading.
>Once you enter the fog, something jumps on your back.
>You turn and see Fluttershy there.
"The fuck?"
>"I-It's really hard to see and I uh... I wanted to get a better view from up here."
"Fluttershy you have wings."
>She looks at her opened wings and then back to you.
>They slowly lower.
>"W-What wings?"
>Lightly shake your head and direct your attention forward again.
>A scream is heard and then Berry nearly knocks you over as she runs between your legs.
>She runs up to an annoyed Applejack and Derpy, stopping them.
>"HELP! HELP ME!"
>She then runs back over to you.
>"IT'S ALL AROUND ME!"
"What?! What are you talking about?!"
>"IT!"
>She moves her hoof and the fog clears some.
"Berry it's fog. Of course it's around you."
>"I'M GONNA DIE!"
>Applejack looks back at you.
>She moves her eyes from Berry then to you.
>You shake your head.
>She snorts steam and kicks some dirt.
>...
>Berry snores in your arms as you walk.
>Damn it Applejack.
>The campsite comes into view.
>A lone tent is there and a few logs.
>A tiny circle of rocks is in the middle.
"Wait just one second. That tent is way too small."
>It could fit only you if you curled up.
>AJ walks around the site no bigger than 12 feet in each direction from the campfire.
>"Ah guess they think we're gonna lose three ponies before mornin'."
>She goes inside the tent.
>Derpy sits on a log and observes the scenery.
>You walk over to another log and put Berry down.
>A wet feeling is felt on your back so you detach your Flutterpack and put her on the ground.
>Before you can scold her about how hard it is to remove marejuice from clothing, AJ comes out of the tent with a bag.
>She drops it, "Ah found this in the tent!"
>You go over and open it, the rest of them coming over to peek inside.
>There is a roll of toilet paper, a canteen of what looks like water, and one pillow.
"Yeah well I'm not sharing that pillow with any of you."
>AJ shrugs, "Suit 'churself."
>She walks back into the tent with it.
>The fog becomes so thick you cannot see the path you came here from.
>Only the campsite is visible.
>It becomes darker nearly instantly.
>Oh right.
>They have to manually do that shit.
>Fucking magic giving you no preparation time.
>Applejack trots out of the tent and looks around to you all.
>Berry is up now and smelling the inside of the bag of supplies.
>Fluttershy is talking to a squirrel behind the tent.
>Derpy is looking up at something.
>You walk to her.
"What are you looking at?"
>She looks at you, her bad eye looking at her nose.
>She doesn't say anything.
"Seriously what is it?"
>"You won't be mad if I talk?"
"Of course not, why would I be?"
>"Applejack doesn't like me to talk or do anything."
"Why not?"
>"I usually mess everything up."
>She hangs her head as she says that.
>You put an arm around her and give her a smile.
"Cheer up! I like when you talk."
>"You do?"
"Of course. I love your voice."
>She smiles and blushes a little bit.
"Wait, not like that."
>"O-Oh..."
>She looks away.
>Fuck this is awkward.
>Why did you come here again?
>Oh right.
"So what where you looking at?"
>"I thought I saw a branch up there that I could sleep on."
"Oh. Well that would help out with the space issue."
>She nods.
>Well, done here.
>You walk back over to the middle where Applejack is messing with some sticks in the middle.
>"Could ya lend me hand here Anon?"
"Don't know how."
>"Just hold this stick here while Ah rub that one."
>You get down on a knee and hold the stick she said to.
>She spins the other one between her hooves until smoke comes out from the pile of little sticks.
>She then starts blowing on it and then a flame comes out.
>You let go of the stick and she stands up.
>"There we go."
>"AAAAAHHHH A FIRE!"
>Water splashes on the campfire.
>You both look over at Berry who is panting as she holds the empty canteen.
>She smiles at both of you.
>"Don't worry guys, I put out the fire!"
>Great.
>Now you have no heat and no water.
>AJ groans and mumbles curses under her breath as she goes back into the tent.
>Fluttershy comes from behind the tent and over to you.
>"So honey-"
"Not my name."
>"-have you chosen where you're going to sleep?"
"Probably laying on the ground with a log as a pillow."
>"You could use me as your pillow..."
>She winks at you.
"You do understand that's not sexy at all, right?"
>"W-Why not?"
>Fucking Fluttershy.
>You notice Derpy walk over to the tent and stick her head in.
>"Hey Applejack. I know you're real mad already so I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for being so-"
>Berry hits Derpy on the side with a hoof as she spins around in circles all over the campsite.
>Derpy's balance is thrown and she reaches out for something to catch her when she falls.
>She grabs the tent and it rips in half from her weight.
>The other side falls on Applejack.
>She pulls it off herself and looks at Derpy who is tangled in the other half.
>Words could not describe the rage in those eyes.
>When Berry reaches you while spinning, you stop her by grabbing her hoof.
>Her eyes look like Derpy's for a moment and then go back to normal.
>She looks at you.
>"Who are you?"
"Berry you know who I am-"
>Fluttershy interrupts, "He's my husband!"
>You elbow her in the chest and she backs up a little.
"No I'm not her-"
>"Hi Fluttershy's husband!"
>Son of a bitch.
>"Applejack I'm so sorry! I just don't know what went wrong, I swear!"
>Your attention is attracted over to the two of them again.
>"Well that's just great! Where we gonna sleep now?!"
>"A-Actually..."
>All of you look over at Fluttershy.
>"There are three logs... Two of us could go lay against two of them and one of us could be alone... I-If that's okay with you."
>Applejack smiles at Fluttershy.
>"Finally somep0ny usin' her noggin!"
>Just then a noise is heard in the bushes.
>You all look towards it.
>But see nothing because of the fog.
>Luna did say something about animals coming...
"Fluttershy go talk to it!"
>"WHAT?!"
>You pick her up by the sides and throw her toward the noise.
>A deep yell is heard and then nothing.
>It is quiet for a few seconds and you begin to feel guilt for doing that.
>Only to have that guilt diminished when she comes back dragging a guard with her.
>"I g-got scared and b-bucked."
>You all look at the guard.
>If he wakes up, he'll capture you.
>What to do?
>Applejack walks up to him and hoists him on to her back.
>"Well we aren't just gonna keep him here."
>She trots out into the fog, leaving you all there.
>A few minutes pass and she returns.
"What did you do?"
>"Ah tied him to a tree."
"Nice. Where?"
>"Right next to-"
>A loud beep noise is heard.
>Then a voice, "Orange team has been eliminated for assaulting a guard."
>You look back to AJ and she smirks.
>Fluttershy tries to grab your hand but you smack her away.
>Berry fidgets on a log and Derpy is sitting on another one with her head down.
>You walk with Fluttershy tagging along over to Derpy.
>Then sit down on the edge of the log, leaving no room for Fluttershy.
>She instead stands right next to you and moves your arm on her head as a rest.
>Fuck it that's actually not that bad.
"You okay?"
>Derpy brings her head up to you and her other eye looks in the trees.
>"I guess so. I feel real bad about what I did."
"Well that's understandable. You kind of destroyed the only thing we could call a home here."
>Tears begin forming in her eyes and Fluttershy bites your hand a little bit.
>"Don't be s-such a meanie."
"Shut up Fluttershy."
>"Okay."
>You can hear her mutter, "S-Silence better be his fetish."
>Turn back to Derpy.
"Look, sometimes ya mess up. It's not all bad right?"
>"I guess... But I feel like I'm just making things worse."
>"WHERE IS IT?!"
>You all look up to see Berry jumping in place.
>She runs over to Applejack.
>"WHERE IS IT?!"
>"Where's what sugarcube?"
>She runs over to you three.
>"WHEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT?!"
"WHERE IS WHAT?!"
>She runs around the campsite checking behind each log.
>Then she picks up the individual pieces of wood where the campfire should have been, looking under them.
>Applejack trots over to her.
>"Sugarcube if ya don't tell us what it is yer lookin' for, how are we supposed to help ya?"
>Berry walks over to the bag and pulls the toilet paper out.
>"THERE IT IS!"
>She runs off into the fog with it.
>You all look around at each other.
"What?"
>AJ shrugs, Derpy shakes her head, and Fluttershy is sucking on your finger.
>You pull your finger out of her mouth and smack her on the head.
"The fuck are you doing?"
>"U-Um... Cleaning you?"
"You're terrible at lying."
>Berry comes running back with only the middle of the toilet paper roll.
>And it's covered in shit.
>...what the fuck.
>She drops it in the middle of the campsite where the fire should have been.
>A loud beep is heard.
>"Cloudchaser of the purple group has been captured by a guard an is eliminated."
>Sweet.
>Three more and you guys got this in the bag.
>"Gee... Ah'm gettin' mighty tired."
>Applejack looks to the others for confirmation if it's time to sleep yet.
>Derpy nods and flies over next to her at a log.
>"There's a free one over there for ya to use."
>She nods and walks over to the other one.
>Berry lays right next to her.
"Wait a sec why am I stuck with Fluttershy?!"
>"Ya want tah sleep with me Shy?"
>Fluttershy attaches to your side shaking her head.
>"That's why."
>Applejack walks over and grabs a half of tent and throws it to you.
>Then she takes the other for herself.
>You get under the tent cover with Fluttershy trying to face away from her.
>Derpy looks back between you both.
>"D-Don't we get some c-covers?"
>AJ gets up and slides the bag over to Derpy.
>"Better get nice and snuggled up, it's gettin' cold."
>"Why do you hate me Applejack?"
>AJ looks over at her.
>"Ah don't hate ya Derpy. Yer just not... Ya can't-"
>"I can't what?! Just say it!"
>Applejack, for once today, has no response.
>Derpy furrows her brow and looks at her.
>"I'll prove to you that I'm worth something... I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU!"
>She flies out into the fog.
>Applejack stands up.
"AJ, no."
>She looks over at you.
"Let her go."
>She sits back down and pulls the covers over herself.
>"She might be annoyin' and real good at ruinin' everything, but Ah don't want her tah get hurt."
"She'll be fine."
>You both sit there waiting for the beep and then the announcement that she has been caught.
>But there is none.
>"Anon Ah can't sit here like this."
"Applejack it's only been a few moments, she could be on her way back by now."
>"Ah just... Ah can't. Ah have to go get her. What if some of the animals get her? They won't be able tah see anythin' until sunrise because it's dark and foggy."
>A sigh escapes your mouth.
"Well if you feel it's necessary, I won't force you to stay here."
>"Alright. Ah'll try tah be quick."
>She heads off into the fog.
>Well there goes a lone pony on a mission.
>A mission to help out a friend she mistreated.
>She will find Derpy and bring her back safely, and then no longer would be such a bitc-
>A loud beep is heard.
>"Applejack of green team has been captured and has been eliminated."
"SHIT!"
>Well fuck then.
>Now you're stuck with the retard and your rapist.
>Fuuuuck.
>...
>It's been what seems like ten minutes of trying to sleep now.
>A light touch is felt on your side.
"What do you want Fluttershy?"
>"Do you want to have sex?"
"No."
>"Do you want to have sex?"
"No."
>"Do you want to have sex?"
"I don't. And if you ask me that one more time I'll stab you."
>"Hey Anon."
"What?"
>"Do you have a knife?"
"No."
>"Good. Do you want to have sex?"
>God damn it.
>A breeze rolls by and makes you shiver a little.
>You turn to face Fluttershy.
>"Are we gonna fuck?"
"You will get snuggles and that is only because I'm cold. If I feel anything wet when I'm sleeping I'll punch you in the face."
>"O-Okay."
>Grab her body and turn it around so she faces the other way.
>Then pull her close and snuggle da fuck outta that cute little yellow horse that giggles in happiness as your embrace tickles her stomach.
>F-For warming purposes only of course.
>Sleep approaches you rather quickly.
>Something wet begins touching your arm.
>Your eyes snap open.
>Then you turn over, punch Fluttershy in the face, and go back to snuggling the timberwolf's leg.
>Wait a second...
"TIMBERWOLF!"
>In shock, it steps back.
>Suddenly it is smashed to pieces.
>Fluttershy stands in the pile of sticks breathing heavily.
>She looks at you, "Are you okay?"
"Yes."
>"Okay great!"
>She jumps back under the covers with you and scoots her back up to your torso like that never happened.
>Damn rapist, you scary!
"Wait don't timberwolves hunt in packs?"
>"He wasn't hunting Anon. He was wandering around."
>Wait, before you question her, think.
>She talks to animals.
>She would probably know that.
>You do not question it and continue laying there.
>"ATTENTION!"
>Both you and Fluttershy are jolted awake by this loud noise.
>Berry is right above you both.
>"ATTENTION!"
>"U-Um, Berry that is really uh l-loud and I was wonderi-"
>"ATTENTION!"
"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT BERRY?!"
>She looks down at you.
>"I just want some attention."
"Well we're giving you some right n-"
>"ATTENTION!"
>Son of a cunt.
>...
>Berry is now sandwiched between you and Fluttershy and your arms are wrapped around both of them for warmth.
>It was the only way you could get her to shut her fucking mouth.
>A light makes you look up.
"Uh... Girls."
>They look up too.
>Fluttershy screams and Berry simply lays back down when they see the fire tearing through the trees.
"We have to get out of here!"
>You stand up to leave when you are stopped by a hoof.
>Derpy descends from the fog.
>"Hi you guys!"
"Where have you been?!"
>"Well let's say team purple is having a bit of trouble with fire... And I just might know what went wrong."
>She winks at you.
"Oh you sly son of a bitch, that's genius!"
>A loud beep is heard.
>"Purple team has been eliminated for attempting to burn down the spooky forest. Will the remaining members of the green team please come back to the start to claim your prize and so we can put out the fire."
"Derpy you're crazy."
>"Crazy smart!"
>She puts a hoof around your neck and flies to keep herself there as she laughs with you.
>Fluttershy tries to put her hoof around your neck but you push her down.
>She takes this as "Let's take things to the next level" and puts her hoof down the front of your pants, trying to grab your meat.
>You hammer fist her on the top of the head and she falls down.
>Berry runs back and you look back to see her dragging Fluttershy by the tail along with you.
>Wow.
>That's like the first sane thing she's done so fa-
>Berry zooms past you riding on Fluttershy's body like a snowboard zig zagging down the hill.
>Thought too soon.
>You make it back to the main area in a short amount of time and are applauded for your bravery and guts.
>Berry hops off Fluttershy, leaving her all dirty and scratched up.
>The guard with the megaphone signals you to come on stage and you do as he says.
>"Now here are the prizes for the remaning members of the green team!"
>He holds out a box and opens it to reveal...
>Four medals.
>Wait how did he know only four of you would win this?
>Fuck it.
>You don't want to think any more than you have to today.
>He walks to Derpy first.
>"For you, Derpy, for using your wits to win before sunrise."
>He places it around her neck.
>Then to Berry.
>"For you, Berry, for..."
>He looks at you.
>You shrug.
>He shrugs as well.
>"Good job."
>He puts the medal on her as well and shakes his head as she chews on it.
>Then he moves to Fluttershy.
>"For you, Fluttershy, for being brave throughout this entire ordeal."
>"I only did this so I could be with my one true love, Anon."
>The crowd d'awws and you growl.
>You shake your head as he puts the medal on her.
>Then he comes to you.
>"And for you, Sir Anonymous, for dealing with all this bullshit."
"Finally. Can I go home yet?"
>"No! We still have to have the celebration party!"
"Oh fucking hell."
>...
>After too much booze and enough cake to give you diabeetus twice, you find yourself stumbling home using Fluttershy to walk.
>"Anon... That was really nice what we did there... That snuggling. I liked it a lot."
>As you come up to your house, she follows you there.
>You open the door and turn to her.
>Pick her up and give her a hug.
>She makes an adorable squeal sound.
>The amount of alcohol you have consumed plus everything else you ate comes out on Fluttershy, drenching her in it.
>You let her go and fall face first onto your porch.
>When you wake up the next day you are butt naked on the couch, your head, ass, and dick hurt, and your underwear is missing.
>Fucking Fluttershy.