Skit 06: Abandoned Utopia

Musical Girl Murderface stared up at the sign. It read, "Abandoned Utopia" in bright red neon lines. It made nighttime look like daylight from where she stood. 'Retire this former agent, and you will get paid handsomely.' Kyuubey's words still bounced around in her head. A musical girl was in this building; she had a hot date with her, and she wasn't the type to stand someone up.

Kyuubey said something about the best possible method of taking her down was getting close and just shooting her soul gem. She... doesn't listen to squares. They... don't have advice she followed. Especially the white fluffy ones that beg to be shot whenever they spoke to her, let alone stared at her.

Murderface hooked her pulse gun to her Mjolnir System, then turned it on. A low, heavy, steady beat shuffled out of her speakers. Her music rivaled the nightclub's. She was just getting started.

The front doors flew off their hinges and into Abandoned Utopia, startling all the ravers in there. A purple gleaming girl walked past the door frames and scanned the room from behind her neon red glasses. A strange gun, cradled in her thin hands and arms, emitted an aura of awe. In fact, her entire being emitted an aura of awe; an alien had just stepped into their rave.

The ravers, in their funkadelic outfits and hair styles, watched the pulsating region. Their puny music was thrown under a bus from the newcomer and her living song. It slithered to and fro, embracing all those that heard it. The beats infiltrated their ruptured ear drums and took over their motor controls. The ravers began to beat their heads and flail wildly in dancing. Glow sticks dominated the visual receptors.

Murderface didn't suspect she would be in here, just an armed welcome wagon. Naturally, the doomed girl would be deeper inside, like some sort of mid boss. Idly bobbing her head, she danced her body further in.

For a nightclub called Abandoned Utopia, it sure was full. Murderface had to mingle her way past the ravers, killing them in the dozen with her powerful Mjolnir. Their brains couldn't take the pressure, too square to perceive such beauty. Even as they dropped dead, blood dripping from their ears, she danced. The other ravers didn't care, they danced with a wide berth from her. She possessed a spherical brain, one that could withstand the heavy beats.

Moving deeper into the heart the music became less pronounced, with an odd silence descending. Murderface was the only disturbance, and she was alright with that. Perfectly alright. They could hear her coming from a mile away, but her music would trump theirs.

Blasting another door down with her pulse gun, Murderface finally found her target. The former agent, one that she was sent in to kill unto death, was ready for her. A bit tall, she had short grey hair and grey eyes. A white tuxedo with a white rose in its lapel.  A storm out at sea was the first thought Murderface had. The enemy musical girl held the most beautifully crafted violin Murderface had ever seen. A ruddy violin. She had certainly been keeping busy.

"I recognize you," The grey violinist spoke, tone haughty. Her voice pierced the soundwaves surrounding Murderface's ears and entering her eardrums. "You're Murderface. Kyuubey sent you here to retire me?"

"Kamijou. Your musical style is old, decrepit. It belongs in the past. I am of the present, and I have come to silence you forever."

"Hah! Rough words coming from someone who can't appreciate refined music." Kamijou scowled. Taking bow to string, Kamijou began to play. Black and golden A notes, sharp to the ear, filled the air. The notes shot toward Murderface, who dodged them by rolling aside. She blasted Kamijou with a sound wave of pure base at the end of her roll. Kamijou blocked the soundwave with a few A notes.

Classical clashed with frantic base, the two dynamics destroying the furnished room. Neither musical girl stood down, each believing their way was better. A Notes laid down their lives to absorb heavy beats. Sound waves ripped everything apart. They were drastically lethal.

Murderface rolled into a crouch, taking aim to blast Kamijou. She had the perfect shot, Kamijou was open and virtually dead. However, before the trigger could be pulled, an A note collided into her pulse gun, sending it spinning across the room.

Weaponless, Murderface stood and tiptoed in a mock military march as she spun her arms around and around like a windmill. The song was erratic and beaty, rocking heaven and earth. Purple blobs of magical energy shot out of her index fingers, hurling over to the other musical girl. They pulsed with the underlying base, which effectively made them glitter like disco balls, giving their target a headache. If inclined she could very well seizure and be burnt up. But she wasn't feeling cooperative, ducking out of the way at the last second.

Kamijou glared at Murderface. The final act had began. Anymore fighting would lead to corrupted soul gems, which would lead them to becoming Hasbeens. Touching bow to string again, an orchestra worth of faceless violinists appeared behind Kamijou, all with identical violins and outfits. The Four Seasons had commenced.

From Spring to Winter, the vibrations came in like brick walls, bringing Murderface to her knees, then to her hands, until finally she was about to lay down. Her music became dimer, harder to hear. A classic like the Four Seasons was hard to outmatch. Kamijou was throwing her all at her. Murderface figured she should be happy; this was truly a clash of two titans. But, this wasn't her Winter of Discontent to bear.

Slowly standing up, gritting her teeth tightly, her vision wavered. She felt herself losing this battle moment by moment. Her strength seeping, her music dimming, all signs pointed to despair. If she didn't do anything now she would be defeated. She broke the volume dial button on MAXIMUM, brought the treble and base up to MAXIMUM, and braced herself. A battlefield of base blasted brazenly out of her souped up speakers, cracking the foundation and building around. Lesser objects vaporized. The ground she stood cracked, unable to hold her for any longer.

She couldn't push back the entire orchestra's combined effort, but she could stab through it to a singular point. Her target? Kamijou's soul gem, on her tuxedo's lapel, shaped like a white rose. Focusing her attention on it, she willed her beats to reach that spot. That one spot. All she needed was a fleeting touch, and this battle would be hers.

THUMP THUMP THUMP KLINK.

Kamijou's face distorted into confusion and horror. With her soul gem cracking, she saw her life flashing before her eyes. All that violin practice and those wonderful concerts, to be defeated by some uppity beat layer. Crumbling to dust, her eyes dulled as her body dropped to the floor, smashing her violin underneath.

Murderface panted, turning everything down, including the volume, which took a bit of internal guts manipulating to work. Now in safe volumes, she retrieved her pulse gun, then went over to stare at Kamijou's corpse. Bits of her soul gem glinted in what remained of the lights.

"Good work, Murderface." Kyuubey's voice bounded into the air. Murderface turned to the origin, which was walking through the entrance with two Rockers behind her. Electronic guitars slung across shoulders, they possessed wavy hair, sideburns, and cheap sunglasses. "We've secured the building. All witnesses dealt with, all damages explained; the standard procedure. You've been paid as agreed for this assign---" Sound waves ripped Kyuubey's body into giblets, producing a gory puddle where he used to stand. The two Rockers looked at her with disbelief and amusement.

Murderface bobbed her head to the tune. With her business done here, and a hot date with some whiskey at home, she pelvic-thrust and moved her arms up and down in the air all the way home.