Complete Bullshit - Pt 1.5

THIS IS COMPLETE BULLSHIT - PT2

>"Ohshitohshitohshit... uh... don't move?"

>"I CAN SEE THEIR SOUNDS!"

>"I'm sorry!  I just... I wasn't... Why did you?"

>"WHY IS IT ALWAYS BEES?"

>"I'm sorry!  Look, I'll go get Fluttershy.  Maybe she can help!"

>"ANON, THE SITUATION IS A LITTLE BEYOND HER RIGHT NOW!  THEY AREN'T JUST IN MY EYES, THEY'RE -IN- MY EYES!"

>"Medical attention, then?  I can go fetch a nurse or a doctor or something."

>"THEN GO DO IT."

>You take off scrambling for the only hospital in P0nyville.  If it means anything to anyone, you're REALLY sorry.  You just meant to push her away because ew pony makeouts.
>That reminds you.  You have a few choice words to say to Batman, setting you up like that.  Twilight thinks you like her!  What the fuck, dude?

>"What the fuck, dude?"

>Huh?  Oh.  Batman's in your way.  He seems... upset.

>"Bees?  Really?  That's not how this is supposed to happen."

>"How WHAT'S supposed to happen, you getting me and Twilight together?"

>He gently slaps his forehead with his palm.  "No, you dumbass.  You giving off the ILLUSION of being with her.  One slightly heartbroken pony is a price future you will be willing to pay.  She wasn't supposed to get physically hurt!"

>"Hold on, what the SHIT are you even talking about?  Why... what POSSIBLE reason could I have at ANY point in time for needing somep0ny to think I cared about Twilight?"

>"Classified information.  Just, look, go get her some treatment for... is there even a term for what you did to her?  Whatever.  Fix it.  I... can't exactly blame you.  Pinkie should have been around to get those bees earlier.  I just have no idea how it's even possible for her to have failed."

>"Still lost!"

>"Because you aren't ready yet.  Just keep quiet, do as you're told, and enjoy the meat."

>You glare at him, secretly hoping he can sense your hate.  You need to find his meat supplier and cut out the middleman.
>"Fine."

>He smirks.  "Good.  Now as long as we don't all explode because of Pinkie's mistake, we can get back on track.  Twilight needs treatment, and then you should be in the clear for a few days.  Do what you will until I give you your next order."

>You grumble, nod, and run off, ready to storm the hospital.  You don't make it very far before you see Pinkie dragging an unconscious doctor by the stethoscope.
>"Pinkie?"

>"Oh, hi Anon!  I know, I know, I messed up, but look!  I brought a doctor and he can make everything all better!  Please don't be mad at me?"

>"Mad?  Why would I be-?"

>"Oops!  Nevermind, then.  It's not important.  Just... Twilight's under control for now.  Everything's fine.  How about you go for a swim?  It's a lovely day!"

>"She has bees in her eyes!"

>"Duh, why do you think I'm bringing the doctor?"

>"Pinkie, I can't just walk away.  It's my fault!"

>She drops the doctor pony on the ground and looks at you.  She seems... sad?
>"No it's not."

>"I'm the one who-"

>"Things aren't always what they seem, okay?  Almost none of what's going to happen is your fault, and that's why I have to help."

>"Why can't anybody who isn't in agonizing, blinding pain speak clearly?"

>"Adrenaline."

>"That's not... you..."

>She smiles.  "Okay, so promise me you'll go do something fun?  I told you I have Twilight taken care of."

>Your head hurts.  You thought maybe things here would be okay.  You thought you'd adjust.
>Then Batman shows up in your shower and everyp0ny starts talking nonsense all the time.
>Maybe some fun is what you need.  And besides, Twilight does seem pretty mad at you right now.  You'd rather wait until she's calm to talk to her again and tell her you're just not into ponies.
>Maybe leave off the part where even if you were, Twilight just doesn't do anything for you.  She's such a dork it's actually kindof adorable, but there's just no spark.

>>3171067

>And so things go for a time.  You live in P0nyville and you mingle with ponies and you sometimes take secret missions from Batman.
>You put off talking to Twilight about your little "date" and she avoids bringing it up.  You consider the matter closed, and she doesn't seem to treat you any differently because of it.
>She certainly never loses her enthusiasm for examining you and testing you.

>You don't interact much with Fluttershy.  She's... shy.
>Rarity is nice to you and provides you with clothing and such, but you're convinced she's secretly disgusted by you.
>Applejack is fine.  A little boring sometimes, but never unpleasant.
>Rainbow Dash is quickly becoming your favorite.  She's a total bro.
>Pinkie Pie... you prefer not to think about her too much.  She's the only pony around who seems to have seen Batman, but she'll never actually mention him.  Even when there's nothing even remotely related to those particular schemes (or IS there...?) she still manages to leave sense completely behind.  She's crazy, but fun.  But also crazy.  And occasionally, very concerned about you and the events surrounding you for some reason.

>After a few weeks, you start seeing less of Batman.  He'll still pop up at inopportune times with "missions" for you (pretty much always indirectly involving a human/pony relationship, though thankfully never actually making you do the deed), but it's becoming a rarity.
>The meat still finds its way into your fridge whenever you aren't looking, so you decide not to complain.

>One morning, you awaken with... well, you've never felt anything like it before.  You've had "bad feelings" before, but this is on a whole new level.  Like you can actually detect the entire universe screeching at you that what's about to happen is NOT OKAY.
>You try to ignore it, but you just can't.
>You look out the window and see nothing out of place.  You open the fridge to find meats aplenty.  You head into the living room...
>And stop when you see a small envelope sitting on the floor right by the door.  Like someone slid it underneath.
>You reach down to pick it up, and you shiver a little.
>Against your better judgement, you open it and pull out the paper inside - apparently the most sinister piece of parchment in the history of creation.

>On the front are five simple words.  "You're invited to a party!"