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- >Day Tough Mudder
- >With the help of AJ and Rainbow, you had built Equestria's first Tough Mudder course
- >12 miles long
- >21 obstacles
- >You were goddamn pumped to run this thing.
- >You were in the first group of the day, with Dash and AJ.
- >Celestia gave the starting speech, getting the group pumped up.
- >Thats when you see her.
- >Holy Hell, what the shit is Fluttershy doing here!?
- “Fluttershy! What are you doing here?” Dash ask incredulously.
- >”Oh, well, I thought maybe I could prove myself to you if I did this, Anon.”
- “Flutters” you begin, face meeting palm, “this event isn't a joke. Its brutal. I don't think you should do this.”
- >”Don't be silly, Anon, nothing is too hard if it wins your love.” she smiles.
- >AJ and Rainbow give you a look.
- >”Well, alright, Sugarcube. But you had best stick with us.”
- >Oh God, what have you done?
- >Celestia finishes her speech, and the group takes off at a run.
- >You join the pack.
- >After a few twists along the mud-covered trail, you reach Obstacle 1: The Arctic Enema
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/arctic-enema/
- >You line up, eager to get through this, Fluttershy right behind you.
- >You sigh, but allow her to stick to you as you approach the water-filled dumpsters.
- >AJ and Rainbow jump together.
- >”OH SWEET CELESTIA IS THAT COLD!” Dash shouts, surfacing.
- >AJ just grabs her and drags her under the water, and they resurface past the board, scrambling towards the ladders out.
- >You're next up, and get ready to take the plunge.
- >”A-Anon? What exactly-AAaaieeeeee!”
- >You grab her hoof as you leap headlong into the ice-filled pool.
- >You don't surface until you're past the board.
- >You hold Fluttershy over your head, as she shivers and trembles.
- >”A-a-anon? I-I-I d-don't think th-this is-s a go-od idea anym-more...”
- >You say nothing as you clamber over the side and onto the muddy path.
- >Dash and AJ just grin.
- >”Sorry, Flutters, but its a mite too late to turn back” AJ laughs
- >Looks like you'll spend the day with.
- >Fucking Muddershy.
- >Still Day Tough Mudder
- >Fluttershy has joined your team.
- >It is not an improvement, but rather a challenge.
- >Can you forcibly drag Yellow Quiet through the entire course?
- >You regroup after the Arctic Enema.
- >”Whoo-ee! That was mighty cold! I can still feel it in mah bones!” Applejack says, shaking her stetson as dry as possible.
- “Lets keep moving, we've only just started!” you beam enthusiasticly, dropping a shivering Fluttershy.
- >She lands on her hooves, sinking an inch into the mud with a soft 'plop'
- >You lead the way, Rainbow and AJ herding Fluttershy along behind you.
- >”Uh uh, Sugarcube” you hear Applejack say after Flutters tries to make an escape “You wanted to do this, an' we ain't gonna let you quit so easy.”
- >”Yeah, come on Fluttershy! You're never gonna impress Anon like that!”
- >You facepalm.
- >Fluttershy marshals her courage and presses on.
- >The sun feels warm on your back, and the ice bath has invigorated you.
- >You stretch out your legs and run as the next obstacle comes into view.
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/electric-eel-shocks-on-rocks/
- >You look to your compatriots, and see Rainbow whispering something into Applejack's ear.
- >She nods, tips her hat in front of her eyes, and gallops towards one of the lanes.
- >Throwing herself down, she slides most of the way through.
- >As she starts to crawl, you notice the occasional twitch as one of the live wires touch her, but she makes it out in no time at all.
- >Rainbow pushes poor Fluttershy up to one of the lanes.
- >”Come on, Fluttershy! I know you've got it in you!”
- >“I dont, I mean, um...”
- >She cautiously pokes a hoof onto the slip-n-slide-esque material.
- >Rainbow spins and bucks Flutters in the flank, sending her flying down the channel.
- >Dash then gets a running start and shoots down a lane of her own.
- >”EEEEEEEEEeeeee-*urk!*”
- >Oh what the hell.
- >Flutterbutt stopped sliding with her flank in the air still.
- >And it appears her generous [spoiler]perfect-for-child-bearing[/spoiler] hips have each touched a wire.
- >She is effectively paralyzed.
- >Dash is still crawling.
- >Applejack is carrying on with one of the workers nearby.
- >Your enthusiasm dies, as irritated resignation wells up inside of you.
- >Backing way up, you lean a bit forward...
- >...and sprint towards Fluttershy's lane.
- >With all the speed you can muster, you fling yourself onto your chest, hurtling forward.
- >The side of your face and your right shoulder make shocking contact with Flutterbutt.
- >She scoots out into the mud with a soft “eep!”
- >You begin the crawl, occasionally bumping into the wood frames, or catching your...wait, no.
- >You aren't bumping anything.
- >Those twitches are the wires.
- >Huh, how 'bout that.
- >You finally scramble out of the wires, your calf giving one last jerk as a final wire clips you.
- >Standing up, Applejack has a limp Fluttershy draped over her withers.
- >Her and Rainbow are wearing enormous grins.
- >”Aw, looks like big bad Anon here has a heart after all!” the farm pony chuckles.
- “Well if /somepony/ hadn't been too busy trying to end her dry spell...” you counter.
- >”Hay now, that ain't fair! A mare has needs!” AJ whines, Rainbow snickers beside her.
- “Lets just keep moving.” you suggest, gesturing towards the trail with a sweeping motion. “After you.”
- >Rainbow drops back to walk next to you, and thanks you...
- >...for saving Muddershy.
- (My apologies, these next 3 obstacles aren't featured on the ToughMudder Site, so I found the best pics I could)
- >Day Still Tough Mudder
- >Its been about a mile since the first two obstacles.
- >The next three are pretty tame compared to the last ones.
- “Kiss of Mud is next, right?” you ask.
- >”If'n I recall correctly, it is. Then Glory Blades, then the Ladder t' Hell.” AJ answers.
- >You shrug.
- > Not too awful, but can't wear out all the contestants this early.
- >Reach Kiss of Mud.
- http://kanasherry.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/2.jpg
- >Its just a good old-fashioned army crawl beneath barbed-wire.
- >Plenty of mud and ice-water to boot.
- >You forge ahead, letting the girls take care of Flutters on this one.
- >Just need a bit of a break from her.
- >And other than snagging her mane on the wire, she does alright.
- >You're waiting at the end, and offer your hand to pull her to her hooves.
- >A slap of the flank scoots her forward so you can help AJ and Dash up.
- >Your hand was dirty anyways.
- >Dash leads off, and Applejack grabs your pants leg to hold you back.
- > “Now what was all that about?”
- “The Kiss of Mud?”
- >”No, gosh darnit! I saw what ya did, givin' Fluttershy that little bump on her rump.”
- “Just getting her moving, Applejack. No more, no less.”
- >”Alright, Sugarcube. If you say so...”
- >You frown slightly, but brush it off.
- >Not far from the Kiss of Mud you encounter Glory Blades.
- http://i1.ytimg.com/vi/HEMJbdo7ki0/maxresdefault.jpg
- >Instead of normal walls to climb, these are a bit shorter, but angled towards you.
- >Its an exercise in pure upper body strength, as your feet won't have anything to push off of.
- >AJ expertly leaps the first one, but loses footing and slides off before she can lend a hoof to the rest of you.
- >Dash runs at it, and grossly miscalculates.
- >She impacts the boards with a dull thud.
- >Forgot her wings were tied down, you suppose.
- “Rainbow! Are you alright?” you ask, kneeling beside her.
- >”Yeah, dude. I'm cool.” she says, eyes rolling about her head still.
- >She stands, and walks into a support beam.
- >You scoop her up in your arms.
- >”Hay! I'm fine, Anon!”
- >Nope.
- >You lift her and push her over the edge.
- >Repeat with Fluttershy.
- >Grab the edge yourself, and jump.
- >You manage to wrestle yourself up enough to sling a leg over, and roll over.
- >Sliding down the other side, you see AJ making Rainbow Dash walk a straight line.
- “How is she?”
- >”Seems fine now. Just got a bit shook up, is all.” Applejack replies.
- >”I told you I was good!”
- “Come on Rainbow Crash. Still got two more of these to do.” you jab, grabbing Fluttershy and tossing her over the next wall.
- >She slides down the other side with a quiet “Eep!”
- >Rainbow clears it this time, and Applejack follows.
- >Once more, you pull yourself over.
- >Shits tiring.
- >Last one.
- >AJ manages to stay at the edge this time, so you can hand Fluttershy up instead of tossing her.
- >But Fluttershy dodges your grip.
- >Running with all of her minimal power, she jumps high enough to land on Dash.
- >She then bounces up high enough for Applejack to grab her hooves.
- >With AJ's help, she frantically scrambles over the edge.
- >”...yay!”
- >You can't help but smile.
- >Its good to know that she's at least going to try.
- >Dash jumps up and over, and you jump up.
- >You push yourself up on your arms, and AJ pushes your butt, sending you sliding headfirst into the grass at the bottom.
- “Gee, thanks, Applejack.” you grumble, unfolding yourself.
- >”Anytime, Sugarcube.” she says with a wink, landing neatly beside you.
- >That mare needs a coltfriend already, damn
- >Brush yourself off, and you can already see the next obstacle in this little cluster.
- >The Ladder to Hell.
- http://gothedistanceblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/tough-mudder-2012-079.jpg
- >Really, just a giant ladder made of 2x10's spaced three feet or so apart.
- >This would blow if you had a fear of heights.
- >Which, gauging by her hyperventillation, Fluttershy has.
- >Sigh.
- >You jog up to the contruct, and Dash leap onto it.
- >AJ grabs Fluttershy and drags her onto the first step.
- >”Come on now, Flutterbutter, it ain't that hard.”
- >”B-but its s-so high!”
- >You know what has to be done.
- >Even if it really isn't what you want to do.
- >Put on your best teacher face.
- >You reach up to the next rung, and pull yourself up.
- >Looking down to your right, you offer a hand.
- “C'mon Fluttershy. I'll help you.”
- >She looks nervously between the top and you, then stretched her hoof out.
- >You grab it, and pull her up right beside you.
- >She fearfully attaches herself to the ladder, while you move up.
- >You do this over and over until she's at the top.
- >She clings to a post as you roll onto your stomach, laying on the top boards.
- >The descent will be impossible, there's no good way for you to help her.
- >Unless...
- >You look up at her.
- “Fluttershy, climb on.”
- >”W-what?”
- “My back. Climb on. I'll carry you down.”
- >”Oh Anon! You're my hero!”
- “Don't push it.”
- >”Sorry.” she says, carefully wrapping her hooves around your shoulders.
- >You begin the descent, going much faster than the climb up.
- >”Ohmygoodnessohmygoodnessohmygoodness”
- >With a small hop, you land on solid ground.
- >Tweedle Dash and Tweedle Apple are grinning at you like the idiots they are.
- >”Come on, loverboy. Water Station is just ahead!” Dash yells, taking off down the path.
- >Applejack follows as Fluttershy climbs off your back.
- >Even if your friends gave you some ribbing about it, you feel good for...
- >...helping Muddershy.
- >Day still Tough Mudder in Equestria.
- >The last water station was two miles ago.
- >Fluttershy is really dragging, but the girls won't let her stop.
- >”Come on, Fluttershy! You think that's gonna impress Anon!”
- “For Christ's sake, Dash...”
- >You facepalm.
- >Luckily the next obstacle is up next: Trench Warfare
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/trench-warfare/
- >A series of trenches with some 90 degree turns in them.
- >All covered, so the center is pitch black.
- >Of course, and as always, this new situation is terrifying to Fluttershy.
- >Thinking quickly, you wink at AJ and she trots over.
- >You whisper your plan to her, then crawl down into one of the tunnels.
- >You can hear them still coaxing Flutters behind you.
- >After a while, they stop talking, and you stop moving.
- >Its Dark. As. Fuck.
- >But what comes next is the key.
- “Um, Fluttershy?”
- >No answer.
- “Fluttershy?” you yell louder.
- >”Anon?” she timidly calls back.
- “I seem to be caught on something...I can't get out.”
- >Her response is too quiet to discern.
- “I can't hear you, 'Shy! Can you send AJ or Dash?”
- >”Um, they, uh, already went into the tunnels!”
- “Well...I guess, can you come help me then?”
- >”Oh, well I um, I don't think-”
- “For me?”
- >You hear her squeak, and then nothing.
- >Nothing.
- >A scraping, and some hyperventilating behind you.
- >You crawl forward as fast as you can, and scramble out of the hole.
- >Turning around, you drop back in, an cover as much of the exit as possible.
- >AJ and Dash pull on your shirt, stretching it over the gaps.
- >You are now covering the entire exit.
- >“A-Anon?” you hear Fluttershy calling you.
- “I'm here, Fluttershy! Keep coming!”
- >“Okay...it just seems so far...”
- “I'm right here, Flutters.” you encourage.
- >Finally, after endless coaxing, she runs into you.
- >You wrap your arms around her, and roll onto your back.
- >”Eeeeep!”
- >She seizes up as AJ and Rainbow pull her off of you so you can get up.
- >Dusting yourself off, you can see the signs saying its the Wounded Warrior Carry next.
- http://info.servertech.com/Portals/118864/images/Wounded%20Warrior-resized-600.JPG
- >AJ and Dash are debating who carries who first.
- >You sneak up behind them and the just-recovered Fluttershy, and grab them all in a bear hug.
- >With a maniacal giggle, you take off down the path.
- >”You let me go, goshdarnit!”
- >”Not cool man!”
- >”I don't mind...”
- >”Aw quiet, you!”
- “Heeheeheeheehee!”
- >Finally you reach the 'change places' marker and set them down.
- >You're quite winded, but also rather pleased with yourself.
- >Breathing deeply, you catch a glimpse of Dash as you catch your breath.
- >She seems rather disgruntled, but AJ is whispering something to her.
- >Ooof!
- >It would appear you have been table-topped.
- >The grass beneath you begins to move.
- >Or rather, you are moving over the grass.
- >”I may have... a few regrets... about this here plan... Rainbow!”
- >AJ may have underestimated your size.
- >You feel a second pony join her, and she sighs in relief as you begin to accelerate.
- >1 mph, here we come!
- >You smile at Fluttershy, who just stares at you for a second, before joining her friends.
- >You barely notice.
- >Careful not to alert the girls, you swing your arms wide, and bend your knees.
- >Shifting around a bit, to disguise what you're doing, you let your palms hit the ground.
- >Slowly you begin to crab-walk, lessening the load on the poor mares.
- >Dash groans in frustration.
- >”Darn it, AJ! Those stallions just passed us! I wanted to be the first done!”
- “Its not a race, Rainbow. Its a challenge.”
- >”We're almost to th' end, Dash. Just... a bit... further...”
- >Suddenly you feel the mares collapse underneath you.
- >You barely catch yourself in time.
- >Standing up, you can see the next obstacle about half a mile away, across the field.
- >Just beyond that is water.
- “Come on girls. We'll never pass those stallions like that!”
- >Rainbow perks up immediately, tossing Fluttershy on her back as she trots off down the path.
- >You throw AJ over your shoulder.
- >”Hay! I don' need no help, ya hear!?”
- “Just take it easy. I'm plenty impressed that y'all carried me that far.”
- >”Ya callin' me weak!?”
- “Nope. I'm just heavy.”
- >”And what's with encouraging Rainbow?” she asks, dropping her volume.
- “I know, it isn't a race. But it sure got her motivated, didn't it?”
- >”Hmmm, well, I guess I can't argue with the truth.”
- >You catch up with Rainbow Dash, and set AJ back on her hooves.
- >Fluttershy takes her place.
- >Your rag-tag band reaches the ladders of the next obstacle: Walk the Plank
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/walk-the-plank/
- >You drop Fluttershy at the top of the platform.
- >AJ and Dash go first, a cannonball and a neat, clean dive, respectively.
- >When they pop out of the water, you look over to Fluttershy.
- >”Miss you gotta go, or get outta the way.” the lifeguard at the top grunts.
- >”Maybe I'll just-EEEEEEEEE!!!”
- >As she begins to chicken out, you push her off the edge.
- >Despite landing in an arm-flailing belly-flop, she disappears into the water with a quiet bloop.
- >A moment later, she surfaces.
- “eeeeee!”
- >AJ and Rainbow drag the floundering Fluttershy to shore, and you leap in.
- “CANNON BALL!!!”
- >Holy shit this water was deeper than you expected!
- >It feels like forever getting to the surface, but you make it as your lungs start to burn.
- >Bobbing for a second to get your bearings, you sight the shore and paddle over.
- >As you wade ashore, you see Fluttershy spawled-out on her back, not moving.
- “I'm not giving you CPR, Fluttershy.” you state flatly as you walk past.
- >Rainbow and AJ laugh, falling in behind you.
- >You can't help but smile as you hear a quiet “darn!” whispered behind you.
- >Just another ridiculous mile spent
- >Laughing at Muddershy.
- >Day Tough Mudder (It never ends!)
- >Gathered at the water station, you recoup with your partners Applejack and Rainbow Dash.
- >Plus your foolhardy tag-along and stalker, Fluttershy.
- >You slam down a few cups of water.
- >Gonna be a bit toasty out today.
- >Your recent plunge and the water has helped loads.
- >Feeling refreshed and ready, you turn to your compadres.
- “Ready to roll?”
- >”You know it!” Dash boasts, trotting off.
- >”Well its a good thing I'm ready too.” Applejack snorts. “Come on, Flutterbutter. Lets get going.”
- >Following the prismatic pegasus, you all catch up to her standing at a wood pile.
- >Logs of various sizes sit in a heap.
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/hold-your-wood/
- >”We gonna share or do this ourselves?” Rainbow asks impatiently.
- “I'll go it alone.” You offer.
- >”No offense, Sugarcube, but I think we already knew that.”
- >You shrug, and shoulder a chunk of wood as big as a pony.
- “See ya later.” you smirk, and stroll down the course.
- >And by 'down the course' you mean 'across the pond'
- >Right.
- >Forgot you did that.
- >You slosh into the water, but it isn't more than knee-deep for you.
- >Wouldn't want the ponies to drown now.
- “Gah, fuck!” you curse, as your foot drops into a hole, causing you to lose balance.
- >You recover, and take a moment to look behind you.
- >You see Rainbow and AJ both sporting impressive wood.
- “Hey y'all, its not a competition.”
- >”Just...just can it...Anon!” Rainbow grunts as she trudges past you.
- >”Nothin'... more th'n a... friendly... wager!” Applejack adds.
- >”Friendly”
- >Of course.
- “Where's Fluttershy?” you ask, looking back up the route.
- >They're too busy to answer, but its easy enough to see.
- >Her yellow coat stands out against the murky water as she struggles under the weight of her wood.
- >Quickly turning, you power across the pond, passing the grunting and swearing olympians, and dropping your log in the marked area.
- >And then you head back.
- >You wave cheerily at the dynamic duo as you wade past them.
- >”Buck... you... Anon!”
- >Crossing about half the lake, you find Fluttershy trapped in a hole.
- >She's up to her neck in water.
- >Her eyes are closed, and she's hyperventilating.
- >Kneeling down in the water, you reach out.
- >In one hand, you take hold of a piece of log about the size of your forearm.
- >In the other, you procure the panicked pegasus.
- >As you hoist her into the air, she instinctively latches onto your chest without opening her eyes.
- >You roll your eyes as you trudge to the shore.
- >Next to the drop zone, AJ and Rainbow Dash lay sprawled in the grass.
- >You set the wood down, and pry Fluttershy off your chest.
- >Setting her down, she curls up on the grass.
- >You step to your collapsed teammates.
- >“Hey there, Anon.” AJ says.
- “I expected better of you two. Especially the Element of Loyalty.” you say, frowning in Rainbow's direction.
- >“What? I swear, it wasn't like the Running of the Leaves thing-”
- “Not that! You left Fluttershy stuck in a muddy hole! I know I've said this is about challenging yourself Rainbow, but its also about camaraderie, and comrades don't leave teammates behind!”
- >”Aw shucks.” Applejack mutters. She looks up at you. “I'm sorry Anon. We jus' got so caught up in tryin' to out-do each other-”
- “I know, I know. Fluttershy is fine.” you tut, crouching down. “But from now on, lets do things as a team, okay? No more Applejack versus Rainbow Dash, just us, the Elements of Toughness. Deal?”
- “Deal!”
- “You got it, Sugarcube!”
- >And with that, they hurry over to apologize to Fluttershy via tackle-hug.
- >Probably should have warned her about that.
- >Its been about a mile since Hold Your Wood.
- >Just ahead, you can see a tangle of felled tree trunks, crisscrossed like lincoln logs.
- >Only Lincoln logs don't usually have barbed wire.
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/log-jammin/
- >With a running start, you vault the first log.
- >Duck, scramble, roll, crawl.
- >Under, over, under, through.
- >The barbed wire is more than enough incentive to keep you on the course intended.
- >A few times you have to brave the barbs though, as the gaps are made for ponies, not humans.
- >It surprises you how long this section is, and you emerge at the end quite winded.
- >After catching your breath, you climb the nearest corner of the obstacle to watch your team.
- >They're taking it slower than you did, and they aren't the best at crawling under the logs.
- >But what matters most is that all three are sticking together.
- >You probably should have stayed with them,
- >But you wanted to watch, to be sure.
- >You're there to offer a Helping Hand when they reach the end of the gauntlet.
- >They immediately press on, and you follow.
- >”Come on, water in a mile, I can see it!” Rainbow says, coaching a winded Fluttershy along.
- >”Whoo-ee! That was tirin' but fun!”
- “Glad you liked it. Big Mac let us use the trees from the South Orchard.”
- >You swear you can hear her mind shattering.
- >Stopping for water, AJ continues to berate you.
- >Apparently she didn't think your joke was funny.
- >”...and I planted my first tree in that orchard!”
- >You just nod along until she finishes.
- >Drink some water. Get banana's.
- “Here's AJ, have a banana.”
- >”Why?”
- “Because you get grumpy when you're hungry.” you say as she munches away. “Better?”
- >”Better.” she smiles. “But don't go makin' any more jokes about Sweet Apple Acres, ya hear?”
- “Calm yourself, Treekicker.” you laugh, tipping her stetson over her eyes. “No more jokes.”
- >“You two done yet? I wanna get moving!” Dash whines.
- “Fluttershy, have you eaten?”
- >Shoving the last of it in her mouth, she puffs her cheeks like a squirrel.
- >She smiles and nods.
- “Well, okay then. Lets move along.”
- >Another mile down the course, you reach a large wooden construct.
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/hangin-tough/
- >You had almost skipped this one, not thinking ponies could pull it off.
- >But Dash had taken offense, and you put Hangin' Tough and Funky Monkey back in the lineup.
- >Also, you were terrible at this one.
- >Just awful.
- >Your gaze drifts to the icy blue water, and you consider just jumping in and swimming.
- >”Come on, Anon!” Rainbow encourages you, as Applejack begins swinging across.
- >”Ah pony-” SPLASH “-feathers.”
- >And AJ is down.
- >Fluttershy is making her way across now, and it looks like weighing next to nothing is helping quite a bit.
- >With a grimace, you grab the first ring.
- >Reaching out, you take another.
- >”Whoa!” Rainbow shouts, losing grip and flying into the water.
- >Fluttershy is across, and waiting with a slightly shivering Applejack.
- >Two more rings and you're halfway there!
- >As you grab the next one, you feel it: grease.
- >In your hubris, you had forgotten some of these were greased, and your weight was already shifted.
- >It slips out of your hand, and you mutter a few oaths.
- >Landing with a splash, you quickly surface.
- >Being in the front of the first group has some downsides.
- >Like all the ice water being fresh.
- “Goddamnitgoddamnitgoddammnit” you mumble, pushing through the water to the ladder.
- >”Oh, Anon! You look cold!” Fluttershy cries out, rushing to you.
- >She wraps you in a hug.
- >You swear you hear her stifle an 'eeep' as she realizes how cold you really are.
- >Applejack and Rainbow Dash just smirk at you.
- >Rolling your eyes at them, you lift Fluttershy off of you.
- ”I must have missed you hugging Rainbow earlier.”
- >”Oh, she has fur though! She's fine. Just a little grumpy.” Fluttershy replies cheerfully.
- >You chuckle a little, and AJ lets out a laugh.
- >”Lets just keep moving.” Rainbow growls.
- >As you press on down the course, you just can't stop...
- >...laughing with Muddershy.
- >Day The Mudder Never Ends! In Equestria
- >As your dynamic quartet heads away from Hangin' Tough, the next obstacle comes into view.
- http://www.typetwofun.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Tough_Mudder_Fire_Walker.png
- >This would be easier if you had gone later.
- >But as is, the flames are going pretty good still.
- >”Um, Anon?” Fluttershy looks at you questioningly.
- “Yessss?”
- >”What do we, um, do?”
- >Rainbow answers that by jumping over the flames, Applejack close on her tail.
- “Pretty much that.” you say with a shrug.
- >”Oh, oh dear...”
- >You nudge her along, until she's lined up to go.
- “C'mon Flutters, the flames aren't that bad.”
- >”Yeah!” Rainbow shouts from the other side. “Its totally easier than that time you faced that dragon!”
- >”D-d-d-dragon!?” Fluttershy chatters, before going hooves-up.
- >Your face is getting rather familiar with your palm at this point.
- >”Sugarcube, I know ya meant well, but let Anon do the fancy talkin' from now on.”
- >”Ooops, my bad. Sorry, Anon.”
- >You grab Fluttershy for the umpteenth time today and run towards the fire.
- >And over we go!
- >Bracing for deep water, your legs take a mighty jolt as they hit the bottom of the pool.
- “Gaaaaargh!” you shout, as Fluttershy goes flying out of your arms.
- >Luckily her friends caught her, as you scale the rope net out of the cold water and take a seat on the edge.
- >”You okay, Anon?”
- >”Ya prob'ly shouldn'ta stiff-legged it there, partner.”
- “Yeah.” you grunt. “I've got this. I'm good. Let's go.”
- >You had been jogging down a nice wooded path for quite a while now.
- >Fluttershy was pretending to still be passed out.
- >She may have once been a model, but she will never be much of an actress.
- >But you didn't mind, this part of the path was peaceful.
- >A small creek was nearby, and the ground was soft here.
- >Nice now, but you were sure that after your group and the one after passed over, it would be a muddy hell-hole.
- >You smile at your own evil designs.
- >Rainbow breaks the quiet all of a sudden.
- >”Look, I see the next obstacle!”
- http://www.mensfitness.com/sites/mensfitness.com/files/imagecache/gallery_full_image/photo_gallery_picture_images/dong-dangler-georgia.jpg
- >Here the creek emptied into a muddy pond.
- >Ropes crossed, tied to posts on either shore.
- >The long cables dipped so low that a pony would be soaked as they scooted across.
- “Alright, Flutters. The free ride ends here.” you say, setting her down, despite her best puppy dog eyes.
- >Been immune to those for a very long time now.
- >Walking to the waters edge, you grab hold of the line with both hands.
- >You back up until only your feet are on dry land.
- >You set one ankle on the rope, then lift the other to cross it.
- >Thus set, you begin to pull yourself along.
- >The going gets easier when you hit the water.
- >You let the water take your weight, floating as you pull yourself along.
- >Rainbow Dash swims past you, wet mane and a deep scowl across her face.
- >”Not a bucking word, Anon.” she growls as she moves past.
- >When you reach shore, you join Rainbow on some nearby grass, watching AJ come along the rope.
- >Fluttershy has also abandoned the rope, and is just swimming.
- >When they reach land, you let Applejack and Rainbow take the lead again.
- >Too competitive sometimes, those two.
- >”Um, Anon?”
- >You look down at the still dripping pegasus.
- >”Well, um, there seems to be a lot of water here, and I know you had a hoof in designing it...”
- >You continue to stare as you walk.
- >She hides behind her mane for a second.
- >”I was wondering, if maybe, um, soakingwetmaresisyourfetish?”
- “No Fluttershy, I was not thinking about surrounding myself with wet mares when I designed this course.” you say loudly.
- “O-oh.” she says in the smallest voice imaginable, as the two mares ahead of you stumble.
- >Rainbow is on the ground laughing and Applejack masks her own laughter with her hat as you walk by, a very embarrassed Fluttershy following.
- >”Oh, Shy..” you hear the farmpony chuckle as she falls in behind you.
- >”I can't believe you actually asked him that!” Rainbow laughs, catching up.
- >As you lead the way, you can help but smile.
- >Its always fun
- >Embarrassing Muddershy.
- >Day Mudderbump
- >As the ponies behind you shake themselves dry, you press on.
- >No sense drying off, you remember what's next.
- >Guess Rainbow Splash forgot.
- >The trail does a quick u-turn, and you reach another pond.
- >This one isn't on the creek though, and is much cleaner.
- >The clear water also reveals that its deeper.
- >The last one was only like five feet or so, but the muddy waters hid that pretty well.
- >This one was closer to twelve in the center.
- >A pair of lifeguards waits in a small raft near the center.
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/underwater-tunnels/
- >Swimming across the pond, you need to duck under the barrels as you go.
- >Step in.
- >Oooh this pond's chilly!
- >Biting the bullet, you leap in as the other catch up.
- >Swearing in your head, you powerstroke out to the first set of barrels.
- >Under and up, under and up, under and up...
- >Clear!
- >You pause and look back.
- >AJ is doing a lazy backstroke.
- >Dash is paddling fastly and furiously.
- >Fluttershy is timidly puttering along in the back.
- >Ah well, they'll get here.
- >Onwards!
- >You easily clear the second set of barrels, and pause once more.
- >Applejack and Dash are quickly catching up, but Fluttershy can't seem to muster the courage to clear the first row of barrels, let alone the set.
- >You let out a sigh of disappointment.
- >Turning, you head for shore.
- >As you lounge in the warm shallows, Rainbow and AJ reach you.
- “Where's Flutterbutt?”
- >”Aw, she's takin' her sweet time. Dilly-dallying about the barrels and all.”
- >”Why, miss her Anon?” Rainbow teases.
- >The stallions that passed you earlier make the turn and arrive at the waters edge.
- “Look Dash, its your friends from before. You can say hi when they pass us, sitting here waiting on Fluttershy.”
- >”Shit!” she shouts, looking back.
- >She's soon lambasting Fluttershy with 'encouragement' from the shore.
- >You roll your eyes...
- >...and spy some reeds.
- >...Hmmm
- >Breaking one in half, its as you suspected.
- >Cartoonishly hollow: a perfect snorkel.
- >Grabbing an undamaged one (with a nice curve near the root), and paddle out.
- >Steering wide, you remain undetected.
- >Circling behind the stallions, you use them to mask your approach.
- >The sputtering pegasus has somehow cleared the first barrel
- >But now clings trembling to the second.
- >Dropping to the bottom, you study your prey.
- >Her back hooves paddle just enough to keep her afloat.
- [spoiler]And to wiggle dat Flutterflank...[/spoiler]
- >Focus!
- >Launching off the bottom, you propel yourself suddenly upward.
- >Pulling in one last breath, you ditch the snorkel and grab a buttery hoof.
- >Past the barrels, you surface only long enough to breathe before diving again.
- >You make sure to lift Fluttershy out of the water too.
- [spoiler]All that screaming uses a lot of air.[/spoiler]
- >One more surface visit and you're at the barrels.
- >Turning straight down, you use the bottom of the barrels to kick off.
- >You dive deep, almost to the bottom, which you skim before heading to the surface.
- >Reappearing past the barrels, you make one last shallow dive and follow the rising bottom to the shore.
- >Rising from the water, you pull the panicked pegasus to your chest and wade onto land.
- >Fluttershy is breathing heavily and her pupils are pinpricks, so you toss her over your shoulder.
- >Onward!
- >A great deal of walking later, you are a bit drier.
- >Also, Fluttershy is back to walking.
- >Aaaand you are carefully avoiding being pulled into Applejack and Rainbow Dash's conversation.
- >They're openly describing how they imagine your [spoiler]apparently inevitable[/spoiler] relationship with Fluttershy will go.
- >This is after she finishes wooing you today, of course.
- >Because that's totally working.
- >Pshhh
- >Luckily a wild Obstacle appears!
- >Mudderdex informs you that its Canterlot Walls!
- [spoiler]Berlin Walls just don't make sense here[/spoiler]
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/berlin-walls/
- >You stand aside, and AJ helps Dash and Fluttershy over.
- >She backs up, and with a running leap grabs the top edge, hauling herself over.
- >You follow suit, and find Rainbow helping Fluttershy up.
- >Applejack follows, then Rainbow leaps to the top.
- >Scrambling over once more, you can't help but laugh.
- >Fluttershy is on the bottom for the final wall, helping AJ up.
- >Poor girl looks like she's going to collapse from the strain.
- >And she still has Dash to go.
- >With a hop, Applepone clears the wall.
- >Rainbow quickly replaces her, and begins scrambling up as well.
- >When Dash lifts herself, Flutters collapses into a panting heap.
- “C'mon Fluttershy. This is the last one.”
- >”Can't...tired...go on...”
- “Oh no, you're not getting out of this that easy.” you chide, bending down.
- >Picking up the buttercream mare, you lift her to the edge.
- >She tentatively grasps it, and you shift your hands from her sides to her flanks.
- >”OooOooh Anon!” she gasps as your hands sink in.
- >You quickly push her over, and then pull yourself up.
- >Flipping over, you land next to Fluttershy.
- >She's looking at you with an odd smile.
- >Of course, the other two are wearing shit-eating grins themselves.
- >Bastards.
- >You exhale sharply and storm ahead.
- >Those two are the worst.
- >Next up is the Dirty Ballerina.
- >A series of wide trenches filled with mud.
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/dirty-ballerina/
- >You were supposed to leap across them.
- >The early ones were hard for you.
- >The later ones impossible.
- >Adjusting these for their jumping abilities had made it beyond your own.
- >Ah well, whats a bit more mud?
- >Without breaking stride, you leap across the first.
- >And the second.
- >You barely make the third.
- >Just five more to go.
- >You just drop down into the mud.
- >roll across the grass.
- >Mud. Roll. Mud. Roll. Mud. Roll.
- >And so it goes.
- >The others pass you.
- >You resist the urge to trip them.
- >Fluttershy apologizes as she jumps over you.
- >Such a nice pony...
- >...not like that Rainbow Dash
- >Can't possibly understand why she can't get any stallions.
- >Nope, not at all.
- >Finally you crawl out of the last trench.
- >Those stallions were still just ahead of you.
- >Time to overtake them.
- >For up ahead you spy the next obstacle.
- >And they haven't learned.
- >You quickly sprint to the long stretch of mud mounds and watery trenches.
- http://toughmudder.com/obstacles/mud-mile/
- >The girls are just starting to slip and slide into it.
- >The stallions are a few ridges ahead.
- >Slowly picking their way through.
- >You wait for AJ to be on the second mound, with Dash helping push her up.
- >A firm slap on the ass causes her to buck instinctively.
- >Rainbow is launched back into the mud, and Applejack slides face-first down into it.
- >”What the BUCK, Anon!” Rainbow shouts, angrily pulling herself up.
- “No time to be lady-like, Madame Rainbow.” you laugh. “Y'all gotta get muddy if you want to catch up to those lady-colts up there.”
- >Determination and understanding flashes in her eyes.
- >Her hoof jerks out, and pulls Fluttershy down the slope into the mud.
- >She sinks with an 'Eeep!'
- >Applejack is none too pleased when you slide over the mud pile.
- >”Now why in Equestria would ya do that, Anon! I bucked Rainbow, for pony's sake!”
- >You crouch down next to her, and lean in.
- “Don't tell Fluttershy...but maybe I like dirty ponies?” you whisper.
- >Her eyes go wide as saucers as you leap into the next trench.
- “Or maybe I just needed you to stop acting like Rarity and get going!”
- >She snaps back into focus and belly-slides across the mud after you.
- >You can't help but grin like a maniac as you return to the task at hand.
- >Predictably, Fluttershy is the last one out.
- >But much to Rainbows pleasure, you passed those fools halfway through.
- >As Yellowquiet steps onto terra firma, she looks up at you.
- >”Um, Anon?”
- >You lean in, you can barely hear her.
- >”I'm a dirty pony.”
- >Looks like you may have...
- >... tipped-off Muddershy.
- >Day Onward Christian Mudders
- >Only a handful of obstacles left.
- >After trudging back and forth across an open field a few times, the next obstacle looms ahead.
- http://toughmudder.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tough-Mudder-AZ-2012-Sat-Gudko-1741434163-O.jpg
- >A very wide trench lies ahead of you, several drain pipes leading down to the bottom, and then up again on the other side.
- >Taking a knee at the entrance, you grab Fluttershy.
- >Stuffing her in ahead, she struggles to pull herself along.
- >Her back is pressed against the pipe as she crawls along, dragging herself by her forehooves.
- >You follow behind her after the other two disappear down pipes of their own.
- >For humans, this obstacle isn't about height, its about breadth.
- >Your wide shoulders are pressed against the sides of the pipe, making you stretch your arms out in front of you to pull yourself along.
- >Its downhill, so it all goes smoothly.
- >Fluttershy crawls out into the muddy water at the bottom and begins her ascent.
- >With a mighty heave, you slide out of the pipe to take her place in the ditch.
- >Keeping your head low (barbed wire and hair don't mix), you watch Fluttershy.
- >It occurs to you that there are stallions in town that would give their back hooves to watch what you're watching.
- >But your biggest concern isn't the rhythmic sway of her flanks, but how much her hooves are slipping.
- >Not that you haven't noticed the other.
- >That mare is built for foals, not drain pipes.
- >But it sounds like Applejack made it through, and Applehips aren't anything to shake a stick at.
- >Soon you catch up to Flutters, and have to wait for her to scramble a little further before advancing yourself.
- >As she squirms ahead of you, her back hooves kicking uselessly, you get an idea.
- >Waiting for her to tire herself out, you reach a hand forward.
- >Your index finger leading the way, you trace it down the bottom of her hoof.
- >It twitches away instinctively.
- >Yes.
- >Yesssss.
- >Fluttershy's hooves are no match for the onslaught your fingers unleash.
- >”A-A-Anoooooo-o-o-on! I-I-can't-!!!” she struggles to get out between her peals of laughter.
- >”Will you two cut it out!” Rainbow snorts. “Those blockheads are gonna catch up with us!”
- “I'm just trying to get Fluttershy to move faster.” you answer innocently. “You're welcome to help.”
- >”Oh for bucks sake.” the raspy voice groans. “AJ, give me a hand here...”
- >Suddenly the giggling pony in front of you is jerked up and out of the pipe.
- >The way is clear!
- >you scramble up and out, propelling yourself onto dry (well, dry-ish) land.
- >With a spring in your step, you head towards the next obstacle, clearly in view down the path.
- >Behind you, Fluttershy bounces happily after you.
- >The pool of ice water sits unnaturally blue before you.
- >Two-by-tens stretch across it, narrow side up.
- >A small pyramid of one-inch steps in the middle adds extra difficulty.
- http://toughmudder.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tough-Mudder-PA1-Sat-Gudkov-22231.jpg
- >You are so fucked.
- >But the purist in you said you had to include this.
- >Fluttershy comes up and looks at you.
- >”A balance beam?”
- “Mhmm. I'm gonna end up in that water. And it looks real cold.”
- >”Oh Anon, don't be silly.” she giggles, then proceeds to strut across with ease.
- “Yeah, well not all of us were runway models, you know!” you shout as she steps off on the other side.
- >Dash and AJ are wobbling across now.
- >Still grumbling under your breath, you gingerly step out onto the plank.
- >Slowly sliding along, you bore holes into the wood with your stare.
- >As you near the center pyramid, the tremolo of the board under your feet reaches a fever pitch.
- >A raspy voice swears, and the splash that follows draws your attention.
- >Big mistake.
- >The sudden movement of your head throws off your balance, and you find yourself falling.
- >With a tremendous splash, you bellyflop into the icy water.
- “Fuckfuckfuckfuck FUCK!”
- >Wading swiftly across, you pull yourself out of the water.
- >A dripping blue pegasus and smiling yellow menace greet you, with a scowl and smile, respectively.
- >Orangepone finally wobbles across as Dash's coltfriends reach the boards.
- >As the others start to leave, you notice one of them staring...
- >You follow his gaze
- >...to Rainbow Dash.
- >Catching up, you step next to Dash.
- “You know Rainbow, that one guy keeps staring at you. I think he likes you.”
- >”You think so?”
- >”Anon, Rainbow! We ain't got time for that. Keep it movin!”
- >Turning back to the path, you catch Rainbow glancing back over her shoulder.
- >You look back too, just in time to see lover boy fall in.
- >Ha!
- >Onwards!
- >The sun is starting to really get to you.
- >You're in the final distance stretch now.
- >Been a mile since Twinkletoes, and you miss that ice water sorely.
- >At this point even Rainbow and Applejack are tiring out.
- >You've got Fluttershy draped over your shoulders.
- >She couldn't keep up with the grueling pace Dash set.
- >Every so often she asks you about another fetish.
- >The price you pay for having her so close to your head.
- > Flutterhat is not desirable.
- “No! Ahh! I can't even fathom how somepony could be into that!” you yell after her umpteenth guess.
- >”Will y'all stop bickering already! I can see the next one.”
- >”Aww yeah, finally.” Rainbow immediately perks up “I know we needed to pad the distance, but all this empty field stuff is totally lame.”
- >You step up the pace as you try to scrub certain images from your memory.
- >Where does she even get this stuff? Lovecraft?
- http://toughmudder.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tough-Mudder-AZ-2012-Sat-Gudko-1741436640-O.jpg
- >The monkey bars didn't strike you as a pony-friendly event, but Dash insisted that it was fine.
- >Applejack agreed with her, so in it went.
- >Both of them are swinging along, while Fluttershy hangs from the first rung.
- >Stretching your arms, you reach for the first rung.
- >Swinging to the second, you fall into a steady rhythm and soon reach the pinnacle.
- >Downward monkey bars is a hard sensation to describe.
- >It jerks your arms a little as your weight shifts to its lowered level.
- >A splash behind you indicates that Fluttershy has fallen in.
- >How do you know this?
- >First, there was a lack of swearing.
- >Second, the splash was so small it was almost dainty.
- >Third, Rainbow is ahead of you, and AJ is next to you.
- >Dropping safely onto land once more, you help pull the dripping Fluttershy out.
- >Glancing up at the sun, an idea dawns on you.
- >Picking up Fluttershy, you place her on your shoulders again.
- >Oh man.
- >That's so much better.
- “Fluttershy, have I ever told you you're the coolest pony I know?”
- >Dash groans at how awful that was.
- >”Anon, ya ought to be ashamed of yourself.” AJ laughs. “That was terrible.”
- >You just smile and start back down the path.
- > As you walk, the heat doesn't bother you that much because you're...
- >...wearing Muddershy.
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