Guardsman Anon in Equestria

>999.M41
>Cadian 8th Regiment "The Lord Castellan's Own"
>Warp storms overhead.
>Nothing new.
>But when there were Sorcerors around, that was definitely a problem.
>The cacaphony of battle.
>Crackling lasgun fire and the smell of offal and ozone.
>Heart thundering like the engine of the Chimera.
>Such was life as a Guardsman, Anon.
>But today was a different day.
>Battle was the same. Day in, day out.
>But here was a decidedly different battle.
>"ANON! WHAT KIND OF FROSTING DO YOU WANT ON YOUR CAKE!"
>The weary soldier snapped out of his daydream.
>These horses.
>This world.
>He had to have been killed in that explosion of warp energy.
>But he heard no choir.
>No shimmer of light.
>No welcoming embrace from Him, immortal on the Golden Throne.
>Instead he woke up on the shore of a river, soaked and half drowned.
"I don't like frosting."
>The curly mane of the pink baker pony eased out from the side of the door.
>"What."
>Her giant blue plate sized eyes twitched with a look of shock and horror.
"...Raspberry."
>"Coming right up!"
>He recounted his appearance here.
>The blast hit the Chimera and detonated it rather viciously.
>Half the squad had been vaporized or ventilated by shrapnel.
>Those that managed to get out were dragged away by Daemons or skewered on their blades.
>He was fortunate enough to have is las pistol when the Sorcerer had found him.
>"What a delightful little morsel. I wonder what you'll taste like."
>It might have been a flashlight, but it still hurts when you shine it in their eyes.
>It was enough to fumble his concentration and blast his prey with raw Warp.
>Instead of being torn into ribbons and cast adrift in the Immaterium...
>"And now, you're MINE!"
>WHUMP
>Again, he snapped out of it.
>A large cake hit the table in front of him, joined with some plates.
>A lemon cake with raspberry frosting.
>And a Pinkie Pie staring down at it ravenously.
>"One of my favorite combinations!
>Guardsman Anon gave a sigh, lifting a fork full of cake.
>Diabetes was mysteriously absent from this world.
>Let's hope that stays that way.
>And perhaps find some better food than cake.
>There was only so much left in his ration packs.
>His gear had been taken when he was rescued by the young ponies who lost a ball.
>Which was probably for the better.
>Throne forgive him for not blindly thrusting himself into combat with the warped xeno-equine creatures.
>Water in the lungs tends to hamper one's combat abilities.
>And they did save him, after all.
>The 'Princess of Friendship' welcomed the soldier with open... Wings, I guess.
>And unfortunately for him, took charge of his care. When she wanted to.
>Lately she had been studying anything and everything he had brought with him.
>The batteries in his lasgun had long since died, even before that purple horse started playing with his stuff.
>At least she wouldn't shoot herself on accident.
>Not that he really had a care for these strange horses, but it wouldn't exactly be a good situation.
>And she would question you endlessly.
>The ruling... Princesses would convene to decide on your fate not long after your arrival.
>Judging you to be of little threat without your weapons, it was suggested to learn and teach one another.
>A fat lot that would do.
>Pink horse shoved the fork into the man's mouth, painfully hitting the tongue.
>"How is it?!"
"...Good, like all the other ones."
>"You always say that! What do you REALLY think about it?"
"I think I'm being spoiled or tempted. I can't decide which."
>It had to be some kind of lost paradise world to be so lush and fruitful.
>Maybe in time he would be rescued.
>He wasn't holding his breath.
>"What's that mean? You're kinda confusing."
"Nothing. It's really good. I'm not used to getting things like this to eat."
>Pinkie looked at him curiously.
>"What stuff do you normally eat? Maybe if I make something like that it'll remind you of home!"
"Normally I'm eating Munitorium Rations. I'd rather eat your food, to be honest."
>"Do you not like those ..Myoon-it-or-eeum rations?"
"Munitorium. No. They taste like crackers made from hay."
>"That sounds delicious!"
>...Horses eat hay. Of course they'd like that.