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Para-Questria

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Jun 6th, 2014
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  1. >Your eyes slowly adjust to the light as you start to open them, your nose taking in a wonderful scent of early summer
  2. >You feel yourself being suspended from something
  3. >Looking down you find you're still in your white harness wearing most of your 100 pounds of gear
  4. >M1 attached to your side in a Griswold Bag
  5. >Boots dangling over a patch of grass with your back held up against something leafy
  6. Ahhh god dammit.
  7. >Definitely in a tree
  8. >You look around at the bright open meadow
  9. >Birds singing, animals scurrying about, everything's...really fucking vibrant.
  10. >Training suddenly kicks in
  11. >You swing your legs back to try and get a foothold on a branch or something
  12. >Instead it slams into an open window sill
  13. Is this...Is this a house?
  14. >You hang onto your risers and try to swing yourself into a better position, unable to see what your canopy is hung up on
  15. Gahhhh fuck this~
  16. >Freeze
  17. >Hear clumping footsteps...jackboots?
  18. >Your legs dangling in the window
  19. >A high pitched scream rips through the air, causing you to panic
  20. >Canopy suddenly comes loose
  21. SHhiiuuuut!
  22. >You hesitate...before suddenly plummeting like a fucking rock
  23. >Catch a glimpse of yellow and pink as you zip past the window and slam into a shrubbery below
  24. Ughhhhh~
  25.  
  26.  
  27. >Immediately jump up and flail yourself out of your canopy
  28. >Hear more heavy footsteps from the house
  29. >Throw off your harness and Mae West like they're on fire
  30. >Tear out your M1 and haul ass out of there like Jesse fucking Owens
  31. Jesus christ, I gotta find someone.
  32. >Find the nearest road and start following it, staying in the ditch on the side
  33. >look for road signs, mile markers, landmarks
  34. >nothing matches the sand tables and maps you memorized
  35. >Nothing looks right
  36. >The early morning sun beats down as you trudge along, lugging your M1 and all that gear
  37. >That mornings events, the jump, the preparations, everything starts to come back to you
  38. >Get lost in thought
  39. >The morning silence is pierced by a feint clopping
  40. >hooves slamming into a dirt road, creaky wagon wheels following
  41. Shit, shitshit
  42. >Outnumbered, outgunned, you crouch in the ditch
  43. >wagon draws closer and closer, the hooves and wheels getting louder
  44. If this is a patrol, I'm screwed
  45. If this is a farmer, I'm....not as bad off
  46. >You grip your rifle and get ready
  47. >It's right on top of you
  48. >Leap up from the ditch and swing your rifle around, glaring down the sights
  49. FREEZE! HOLD UP!
  50. WOAH NELLY!
  51. >The horse rears up in front, flashing a bring orange color
  52. >No rider, no krauts
  53. >Just two big green eyes staring right back at you down the length of your rifle
  54. >Adrenaline pulses through, making you shake, unable to move
  55.  
  56. >You slowly lower your M1 to your hip, keeping an eye on the confused orange horse as it's huge eyes scanned you up and down
  57. >What the fuck was this thing?
  58. >Short, maybe 4 foot 5
  59. >Enormous head
  60. >Huge fucking eyes
  61. >Orange body, wearing a hat, a ponytail, and... apple markings on it's ass?
  62. >"W-what are you?"
  63. >Oh, and it talks.
  64. What am I? What the hell are you!?
  65. >You both back up in shock, your M1 still pointed in her direction.
  66. >"Shoot, Ain't ya ever seen a pony before?" The Orange pony gives a confused look, taking a defensive, and almost insulted, stance
  67. >Pony? This wasn't a pony.
  68. "Well, of course I have! But they're taller, don't talk, and...! "
  69. >You could go on, but the immense weight of futility just hits you like a pile of bricks
  70. >Let out an exasperated sigh, giving an almost defeated look
  71. "Look. Where in the name of God am I?"
  72. >"On the outskirts of ponyville.... You're not from around here are ya?"
  73. >Ponyville? Seriously?
  74. >You reply with a confused look, alternating between starting a word, then sighing, looking at the open fields and trees around you on this open dirt road
  75. "Wh- ... I- No. I'm not from around here. I'm..."
  76. >Not even sure what to say. You drop your shoulders as despair suddenly set in
  77. >This wasn't how this morning was supposed to go, you planned for this for months! Training, memorizing, practicing every single aspect.
  78. >Fuck it. Just fuck it .
  79.  
  80.  
  81. >"Do y'all need any help?"
  82. >Orangepone seemed to notice something was up, and that thick southern drawl never ceased to surprise you
  83. >You turn back to her, hoping to try and say something that makes sense
  84. "I don't know. I don't know where I am, I'm definitely not from around here, I don't really remember much of this morning, and all I know is I need to get back to where I was, can you help with that?"
  85. >The Orange equine gave a concerned look before giving some thought, could this actually work?
  86. >"Hmmmm...Na. but I think I do know somepony who can!"
  87. >A little sliver of hope seems to just kinda creep in there, lifting your mood just a bit
  88. "You do?"
  89. >"Sure! But she's in town. I can give y'all a ride there, you seem harmless enough"
  90. >She chuckled, making you give a self conscious smirk
  91. >You did look pretty menacing: Tall brown boots, baggy uniform with each pocket stuffed with equipment, a long M1 rifle, grenades, knives, gas mask bag, ammunition, TNT/Demo gear, gloves, helmet, all topped off by your face smeared jet black with grease paint.
  92. >Despite all this, you nod. This is your only option at this point
  93. "Okay...yeah, yeah that would be great. Ahh, thanks."
  94. >rub the back of your neck, stretching it a bit
  95. >"I'm Applejack"
  96. >She holds out a hoof, smiling
  97. >Look down at it before grasping it in your gloved hand and shaking
  98. "Ahh Scovich. PFC Martin Scovich, 82nd Airborne."
  99. >"Pleased to meet ya Martin"
  100. >You smile in return as she seemed to be trying to make sense of the other stuff attached to your name
  101.  
  102.  
  103. >"Well, Hop on I'll give ya a lift! Just be careful of the apples"
  104. >AJ nodded to the cart. Lo and behold, it was stuffed to the gunnels with apples. Baskets of apples. Big baskets of apples.
  105. >You give a small shrug before tossing your rifle on top, putting your foot on a leaf spring, and hopping on top, trying not to bruise any produce
  106. >And she started to pull, sending you both along down the road in one of the most eventful mornings you've had since you even joined the service.
  107. >They didn't teach you anything about this back in basic.
  108. >Your train of thought was interrupted by a southern accent
  109. >"So...what are you anyway? And why are you covered in all that...stuff"
  110. >That's a new question "What are you?" Almost has an existential ring to it
  111. "Well, ah, I'm a Human..."
  112. >...
  113. >"What's that?"
  114. >Good lord, you are lost
  115. "Well, we're....us. I mean, we're..."
  116. >You can't even answer that! How in the hell do you try and describe a human, while being a human, to someone who's just met their first human?
  117. "I....Okay, it's like...Think of me, but everyone on my planet looks like me. Well, not exactly like me, but....you get the picture. We're all like this, but different sizes and colors and there's girls
  118. >Best to stop rambling
  119. >"Ooh I get it, so, y'all are like us ponies, but you look like...you."
  120. >Is that right? Yeah that...sounds right?
  121. "Yeahh...yeah something like that."
  122. >"So...why are y'all dressed like that?"
  123. >This turned into a harder discussion.
  124. >Everything you said as an explanation was suddenly countered by a question that opened up an even broader lack of understanding
  125. "Well, I'm a paratrooper"
  126. >"What's that?"
  127. "Ahh, I'm in the Army and I jump out of planes"
  128. >"What are planes?"
  129.  
  130. "Planes! like...flying machines?"
  131. >"...you mean like a hot air balloon or them crazy contraptions you see them stunt ponies build?"
  132. "Sort of? But...they're really big, like a big metal tube with two engines and wings"
  133. >This was like describing a C-47 to a horse! Oh wait...
  134. >The conversation dragged on like a trading deal
  135. >Easy questions like: Why do the ponies talk? And: what's ponyville?
  136. >To hard questions like: Why do the ponies talk? And: Can you please explain again where I am?
  137. >In return you provide information to the chipper farm pony about your own life
  138. >Everything from home, to the war, to the invasion, to Fox company, to 1st platoon, to the strange light you saw launch towards you on the jump, to what a gun was
  139. >"So, okay, hold on. The 'round' has somethin' flammable in it."
  140. "Uh-huh"
  141. >"And you put it in the gun"
  142. "Uh-huh"
  143. >"And when you pull the trigger, it lights the flammable stuff"
  144. "Uh-huh"
  145. >"and shoots out the metal thing"
  146. "Uh-huh"
  147. >"And you use them in wars n' stuff?"
  148. "Yeah"
  149. >"....Huh."
  150. >That was it, no other comment on one of the most influential inventions in human history
  151. >Huh.
  152. >You ride on, chatting about this and that, before your conversation was suddenly interrupted by voice cracks from above
  153. >"Lookout Applejack!"
  154. >"What? Rainbow don't-!"
  155. >You turn your head in confusion before you suddenly feel yourself get hit by 130 pounds going pretty darn fast
  156. >Before you even knew what happened pinned on the ground wheezing, the wind knocked out of your lungs, struggling to get up
  157. >"This thing was trying to sneak up on you! Good thing I was up top keeping an eye on things!
  158. >"Rainbow-"
  159. >"Nono, You're welcome!"
  160. >"RAINBOW!"
  161.  
  162. >You cough and roll to the side a bit as you try to collect your wits. And your lungs
  163. >You see light, cerulean blue hooves on either shoulder, feeling the occasional shifting weight.
  164. >"What!"
  165. >"Will you get off him? I was giving him a lift into town!"
  166. >"You were what!?"
  167. >You grab the blue pony by the shoulders in return and swing it to the side, slamming it into the ground a bit
  168. "Get. Off!"
  169. >"OOF!"
  170. >Slowly get up and stumble, brushing yourself off and putting your helmet back on, the leather chincup dangling to the side.
  171. >Applehorse comes towards you, the big cart trailing behind
  172. >"Sorry about all that, She's a bit...impulsive. Y'all alright?"
  173. >You look down at the blue pony, only to find that she's hovering right next to you.
  174. "Woah! what the fuck!?"
  175. >Jump to the side a bit, looking the blue flying equine up and down
  176. "Y-you can fly?"
  177. >This seemed to please it, as if you could feel her ego swelling. She brushed her prismacolored hair to the side, almost forgetting anything that had happened before
  178. >"Of course I can! Only the best flier around!"
  179. >Jesus her voice likes to crack.
  180. >"Watch this!"
  181. >She suddenly shoots up, but then is immediately halted by applejack holding onto her tail with her teeth
  182. >"ACK! Hey!"
  183. >"Hold on there! We don't have time for an airshow , we really need to get into town."
  184. >AJ seems rather annoyed at all this. Something tells you this bickering occurs on a regular basis.
  185. >The blue one sighs and rolls her eyes before turning back to you
  186. >"I'm Rainbow Dash"
  187. >She proudly holds out a hoof, grinning almost triumphantly
  188. >Only expression you can give is an interested smirk, shaking her hoof
  189. "PFC Martin Scovich, 82nd Airborne"
  190. >"82nd wha-who?"
  191. >Oh boy
  192. >You turn and hop back on the wagon, prompting AJ to continue on and Rainbow to flap along, keeping pace right with you
  193. >The conversation suddenly becomes a repeat of earlier, but this time talking with an overexcited motormouth who loves to hear herself talk
  194.  
  195. >"So wait, you jump out of the air, then land and fight bad guys?"
  196. >You nod, feeling your own ego starting to boost a little
  197. >"That is SWEET! Have you fought anyone yet? Oh! what's the hardest battle you've fought in! Did you go on any cool adventures? Do you know any cool fighting skills?"
  198. >She actually punctuated the last one with a kick and a karate chop
  199. >AJ was giving an exasperated sigh, but you couldn't help but chuckle at the whole display of this firecracker.
  200. >You almost felt kinda bad having to let her down
  201. "Ah, no. I mean, I haven't been in combat yet. Like I said, I barely got out of the plane before I ended up here"
  202. >She definitely looked disappointed "Oh...Well when are you gonna get to fight them? Are you gonna gonna use your rifle thing? How did they teach you to fight? Know any cool skills? Maaaybe some I could learn?"
  203. >She just won't stop!
  204. >You and AJ almost sigh at the same time as the cart creaks along, the rocks crunching below as you pass a sign saying "PONYVILLE" in carved letters.
  205.  
  206. >As the cart pulled into town, passing the first few buildings, it brought more than just a few stares
  207. >You start to get an uneasy feeling as practically every pony you passed glared in curiosity, confusion, and a bit of worry as you were toured through.
  208. >Oh the other hand, look at all the ponies!
  209. >Flying ones, horn ones, male, female, little kids, all doing daily activities
  210. >It was...almost homelike, aside from the thatched roofs and overpopulation of equines.
  211. >The cart halts at a huge building at a split in the road.
  212. >A huge,colorful, gingerbread house, straight outta hansel and grettel!
  213. >You admire the colorful detailed novelty building before overhearing a conversation coming from inside
  214. >"PInkie Pie, pah-leese be careful! I don't want that icing getting anywhere near my mane!"
  215. >"Don't worry rarity, I use this stuff for shampoo All the time! Heehee! *SNort!*"
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