Funny? No, not really. Pretty bland.

>Stardate 41254.7...
>At least, you think so.  Anon never told you if you'd correctly figured out the wacky system he was using, and he just kept snickering at you everytime you came to him with a new theory.
>He's so inscrutable, and yet... fascinating.
>OOH!  There he is!
>You crouch low in the bush and slide your binoculars forward until the lenses just BARELY peek through the leaves.
>He's walking out the door... taking a left...
>Oh, Luna poop.
>He's just going grocery shopping.
>Well, at least that gives you some time to get something else done before you need to return to surveillance duty.
>You turn around and find your muzzle brushing against Pinkie's mane.
>"Gah!"

>"Wee!  Wait, was that a happy surprise or a scared surprise?"

>"Pinkie, what are you DOING here?"

>"Well I saw you wiggling around in this bush, so I decided to come over to see what you were up to and then I noticed you were trying to be sneaky and stealthy, so I ducked down against the ground.  Then you turned around and I sprang back up and here we are!"

>You drag a hoof down your face.
>Of COURSE that's her answer.

>"So why are you spying on Anon?"

>"Wha?  I-I'm not SPYING on him!  I'm... I'm researching!"

>"I dunno, you're hiding in a bush outside his house with a pair of binoculars.  Sounds like spying to me.  And not the cool kind like Sean Connery's James Bond would do.  The creepy, stalky kind that perverts do."
>She gasps.
>"Twilight!  Are you a pervert?  Have I been missing out all this time?  Quick, lick my ass once for yes and twice for no!"

>WAT

>"Hurry!  It ain't gonna lick itself!"

>Brain.exe is not responding.
>If you close the program, you might lose information.
> -> Close the program
> -> Wait for the program to respond

>"Dang, and I thought that might work.  Oh well!"
>Pinkie starts humming a tune and bouncing away just as your thought processes come back online.
>You don't notice, but your tongue makes one tiny upward flick.
>Right.  Time.  Stuff.  Do.
>Anon won't be back for a bit, so this is supposed to be your chance to get something productive done.
>Something like... like...
>Eh, you'll come up with something.  You trot out of the bush.


>You're now hiding in an alleyway, watching Anon shop.
>Shutup.
>He gets a bunch of predictable essentials like apples, but he also accepts some strange packages wrapped in plain brown paper from a few very shady looking ponies.
>You make a mental note to investigate those ponies and their wares later.
>When he finishes, he heads straight home to put away his groceries and things.
>You wait patiently in the bush for a few minutes before he comes back outside at about three P.M.
>He's... standing.  Looking around.
>Ooh, wait, he's doing something with his hand.
>He's bringing it up near his face, and now he's... curling up all of his fingers except one.
>And he's putting that finger in his nose.
>Now he's moving it around.
>What purpose does THIS ritual serve?
>Is it some kind of primitive rain-making dance?
>Maybe it's supposed to bring good luck?

>Suddenly, Dash thunders down out of the sky and slams into Anon.
>The two of them go skidding across the ground for a good twenty feet.
>It looked painful.

>"You motherfucker!  You planned that one!"

>"So what if I did, huh?  Not my fault you suck at dodging."

>"Alright alright.  I'll just have to get you back later.  Everything still on?"

>"Yup.  Got the rollerskates and the net, we just need to go borrow the llama."

>"Let's rock, bro!"

>Anon makes a fist, then bumps it against Rainbow's hoof before the two of them disappear over the horizon.
>You've seen them do that a lot.
>They also call eachother "bro" a lot.
>Anon usually seems happy about it, but sometimes Dash grimaces a little.
>It's probably just a difficult concept for her to understand.
>Afterall, if even YOU can't grasp what "bro" really means, how could she?

>You pop back to the library to plan your next move.
>They're going to be mobile with those skates, so a bush won't do.
>You'll need to pull something a little trickier to keep an eye out.


>Tonight's to-do list calls for a memory wipe.
>You can't trust yourself not to turn Anon in for that.
>But for all you know, that's perfectly normal in his culture and he doesn't think he's done anything wrong!
>It's better this way.
>*cheesey starwipe effect*
>"Huh?  Where am I?"
>You blink and glance around the room before your eyes settle on a chalkboard.
>You turn to a nearby blackboard and make another mark.  This is, apparently, your seventeenth wipe.
>You look back at your latest wipe notes.

>   Don't ask about the word "brony".
>   Don't look in his refrigerator.
>   Ignore llama related activities.

>Well then.  It's kinda late, but Anon is a bit of a night owl, so you decide to get a little more data.
>You sneak over to one of Anon's windows and plop down underneath it.
>A system of mirrors levitates into place, letting you see in without exposing yourself.
>The wind blows.  It's a little cold.
>Anon seems to be watching a movie.
>It's another one of the movies from his world that Pinkie somehow gave him.
>You think you remember this one.
>The lead actor's name was... Spruce?  No, that's not right...
>Whatever his name was, he apparently had some difficulty with the concept of death.
>One can be dead, or one can be alive, and the transition is pretty universally the same thing: death.
>At the end of a life, you die.
>You're really not sure how you can do so with any degree more or less softness.
>Adding a vengeance makes SOME sense, but it's hard to figure out how vengeance would be carried out after death.
>Maybe humans believe in ghosts?

>Oh, it looks like the movie is over.
>Anon is getting up... taking the reflective disk out of the combination laser emitter/detector... and putting another one in.
>A double feature, then?

>Huh... those humans don't look anything like Anon.
>And they're naked.
>Using your EXPERT (read: incredibly limited) knowledge of anatomy, you determine they're female.
>IS Anon... removing his pants?
>Oh, wow!  This is a new find!
>What kind of ritual requires nudity?  His people seem to be pretty strictly against it, for the most part.
>He had a really hard time adjusting to ponies being naked around him all the time.
>His face was always really red and he was sweaty a lot.
>Yeah, sweaty like he's starting to look now!

>What the hay is he doing NOW?
>And why is it so warm out here?
>You fan yourself a little, and lose your concentration on the mirrors.
>One of them falls and shatters.

>Anon grabs his pants, jumps up, puts them on, and runs to the window.
>He throws it open and sticks his head out.
>"Who's out there?  Show yourself!  I swear to god, if that's you Fluttershy..."

>A "meep" comes out of a nearby tree and you see a quick streak of yellow fly away.

>"NOT MY FETISH!" he yells, leaning out the window.
>He leans a little too far and comes tumbling out, landing on you.
>"...Twilight?  What the shit are you doing out here?"

>"Oh, um, you see... that is..."

>"Actually, hmmm... she just left, and Pinkie tells me you're great at keeping secrets..."
>He looks around with shifty eyes.

>"Well, now, yeah.  I can't risk blabbing a secret because Pinkie could accidentally destroy reality trying to warp to me.  The laws of physics weren't made to bend that way."

>"Okay, you know what I heard?  Blah blah queen of books bluh bluh don't care.  Listen, I have a proposition for you."

>"I'm listening."

>"There's something I've been... curious about for a while, and it's high time I went ahead and gave it a shot.  I think it'll be a real learning experience for the both of us.  You just have to promise not to tell anyp0ny, okay?"

>"Sure!"

>Anon grins and you shudder a little.  He walks you to the door and ushers you inside.


>You rub at your head and look around.
>You see the chalkboard.
>You shake your head, make another mark, and glance at your notes.

>   YOUR NAME IS NOT HARRY
>   YOU ARE NOT A WIZARD
>   ANON IS NOT ALLOWED NEAR ALOYSIUS