Spoonlicker Anon Pt. 1 & 2

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Summary: Picture of Rainbow Dash licking spoons spurned a child Anon given cake batter by Pinkie. Started as a thread bumper and evolved into a full story.

Posted in Thread 848
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>Quill and parchment danced in your magical grip as you hastily took notes from your balcony.
>You had to do your best today.
>You do your best every day, but you had to do even better today.
>Princess Celestia had asked you to observe Anonymous, the biggest discovery of the decade!

>Nopony could explain how it just appeared, or had any idea what it was.
>Nopony could understand Anonymous’ words either; not even your friend Fluttershy.
>In fact, you don’t even know what it’s called, the name Anonymous was just given to it by Luna as a code name for the pony sized biped.

>A meeting of the Princesses was called immediately after it arrived.
>Celestia, Luna, Cadence, and you came to the conclusion of noninterference.
>Let this Anonymous go about as it normally would.

>1 hour into observation
>Anonymous hasn’t moved much from the edge of town where you all had left it in hopes of encouraging it to go back home.
>Ponies remain in their houses as Anonymous wanders within an estimated 3 meter wide radius.

>2 hours into observation
>Anonymous physical signs include: red eyes, loud noises with deep breathes in between.
>Symptoms are akin to crying, but may be a call to its kind.

>2 and ½ hours into observation
>Physical signs have changed slightly. Red eyes remain but the loud noises have been replaced with sniffling. The deep breathes have become quick and shallow.
>No other creatures showed up.

>4 hours into observation
>Anonymous appears to have fallen asleep. Ponies have started leaving their houses now, but have been reminded to not interact with it.

>5 ½ hours into observation
>Once Anonymous woke up it started watching the ponies in the streets.
>Sometimes it would go to move closer then stop.
>Ponies continue to follow the guideline of not acknowledging Anonymous.


>6 hours into observation
>Anonymous has moved into the town proper.
>Ponies were advised to all go back inside.
>Sniffling and shallow breathes appear to indicate Anonymous will begin ‘crying’ again.

>6 hours and 10 minutes into observation
>Previous symptoms remain as Anonymous starts to bang on doors.
>This suggests an understanding of knocking.
>Anonymous has begun knocking on the back door of Sugarcube Corner.
>As the door opened Anony…
“PINKIE!”
>~teleport

>You’re now beside her.
>Anonymous is holding a mixing spoon like a lolipop.
>You can’t immediately tell what the spoon is covered with.
“Pinkie, what are you doing?!”
>”Oh hi Twilight. I just thought they may be hungry.”
>What happened to noninterference? You made a point to tell her yourself.
“What did you give it?”
>“Relax Twilight, it’s just cake batter. Everyp0ny loves cake batter.”
“Relax? RELAX? That could make them sick. We have no idea what they eat!”

>Anonymous seems content with nomming on the spoon while watching the two of you.
>You can’t tell if they understand what is going on, but the fact they didn’t start immediately ejecting the cake mix seems like a good sign.
>They even look a little complacent.

>WAIT! You’re breaking your own rule!
>You shove Pinkie back inside, with you following along with her, and then close the door leaving Anonymous outside.
>”Hey, what did you do that for?”
“BECAUSE, we’re not supposed to interact with them. We’re trying to encourage it to go home remember?”
>”Awww, but they looked kinda hungry. You shouldn’t go home on an empty stomach.”
>Ugh. At least Fluttershy isn’t around. She’d probably be worse than Pinkie.
“That’s probably the best time to go home Pinkie.”


>You wait a few minutes and then crack open the door.
>Anonymous is still standing there with spoon in mouth looking straight at you.
>You quickly close the door in frustration.
“Great. You fed it, now it’ll never leave.”
>”Ohhh, if they’re gonna stick around we should invite them in. We can talk, and play games, and laugh.”
“Pinkie, we can’t talk. That’s part of the problem. Not even Fluttershy can communicate with it.”

>”Well they sure looked lonely to me. Come on in little one. We’ll get this all straightened out.”
>What? When did she….oh no it’s coming in.
>In a panic you grab a napkin and a pen from the store’s counter, and write a letter.

”Dear Princess Celestia,
Mission compromised, what do?
You know the rest.”

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Posted in Thread 849
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>Double oh no! You need Spike to send the letter.
>You have to get this to Celestia, which means you have to go get Spike, but you can’t leave Pinkie alone with this thing.
>For both the sake of Pinkie and Anonymous. Who knows what one could inadvertently do to the other?
>Your legs begin to involuntarily bounce back and forth. You can’t control it; it just happens.
>What to do? You NEED to get this letter out. You also NEED to watch Anonymous.

>Pausing your mental dilemma for a split second your eyes are allowed to resume sending data to your brain.
>Pinkie has given Anonymous a mixing bowl, and the creature is going to town on it.
>RAH! This isn’t what you had planned at all!
>That’s it! We’ll do this quickly!

>In a flash you pop out of existence and back again inside the library.
>Wasting no words you seize Spike from whatever he was doing in your magical vice and teleport back to Sugarcube Corner.
“Spike, send this letter.”
>You shove the letter directly into Spike’s mouth.
>He does not seem amused at his unceremonious capture, or forced snack, but you’ll deal with him later.
>Princess Celestia will know what to do about all this.

>Pinkie is, of course, all smiles.
>She’s just watching Anonymous scrape the bowl with spoon, hand, and face.
>SHOOT! You should be making note of this.
>Again you hastily grab a napkin and pen, but before you can write anything Spike belches out a scroll.

>He just grunts and hands it to you with little concern.
>How does he not care about the situation? Doesn’t he understand how important this is? Wasn’t he listening when you told him of all the possibilities?
>No time for that now, Twilight. Time is of the essence. What advice does Celestia have?
>You open the letter and…you can’t even process this.
>Was it you or reality that just stopped?
>Did she…did she really draw a caricature of herself shrugging?


 >”You really like that don’t you?”
>Pinkie remains oblivious to everything as you drag your hoof over your face.
>Anonymous and Pinkie look equally pleased, with Anonymous focused solely on the batter.
>Spike seems to have finally realized the significance of what is going on.
>He’s watching from behind you with curiosity and caution.
>”What’s going on Twilight? I thought you said to stay away from that thing.”
>You can feel him shaking as he gently holds onto you.
>Or maybe that’s your building frustration.

>”You should try it after it’s baked. Wait here I’ll go get you some.”
>Pinkie turns around and begins happily trotting to the front of the store.
>She fully intends to give it some cake!
>You started the day with a plan, a plan that you were following perfectly, but now everything’s going crazy.
>You had lost all control.

>NO! This ends here!
>A harsh glow encompasses your horn, and before the treat flinging mare can bounce off you have her in your grip.
>Not even Pinkie is going to get away from you.
>Continuing the assault you rip the bowl and spoon from the creature.
>Anonymous’ face is covered in both surprise and batter.
“No more batter! No cake! No indoors! You’re going right back outside!”
>It may not be able to understand words, but it certainly seems to understand tones.
>”But Twilight…”
>You instantly cut off your pink prisoner’s protests.
“PINKIE! THIS IS SERIOUS! It’s not a pet it’s a wild animal!”
>She withdraws into herself at your yelling.
>Good. She should know better.

>You set the bowl and spoon into the sink and drop Pinkie on her butt.
>In turn you grab Anonymous and head out the door.
>Spike gets out of the way, trying to not draw attention to himself.
>Pinkie goes to follow, but you hold up a hoof stopping her at the door.
>With a slam the wooden barrier returns.
“And you stay in there!”


>Anonymous floats in the purple aura beside you as you walk through the empty streets back to the edge of town.
>You’re absolutely fuming, and practically stomping down the road.
>It starts sniffling. Oh boy…
>Then comes the short breaths soon followed by the long loud noises.
>You turn your head and take a look at its tearful face.
>Yup, this is crying. Just like the other sentient species.

>Given what you saw today this creature seems pretty smart. It understands doors at least to the extent of a dog or cat.
>It may actually rely on social bonds, but then why did it show up all by itself?
>You just don’t know. The only thing you can say for sure at this point is that it seems to like cake batter.

>Deciding to head a little further out this time, you decide to let Anonymous sit on your back the rest of the way.
“I’m sorry about all of this, but it’s for your own good. If you just go back home you can have everything you need again.”
.>If only it could understand your position. It is at least therapeutic talking about it, even if you are actually just talking to yourself.
“It’s nothing against you. We just have no idea how to help you.”
>The crying doesn’t stop, but you still hope it accepts your apology.

>About half way between Applejack’s place and Ponyville you stop and set Anonymous down onto the ground.
>It continues sniffling, but looks at you through bleary eyes.
>You turn it around and give it a gentle shove on its backside.
“Go on; go back to your family. I’m sure they miss you.”
>Before Anonymous can turn around you teleport yourself back to the library.

>Going back to the telescope at your balcony, you return to observing Anonymous.
>They’re spinning in circles, perhaps trying to see where you went.
>After a minute it stops and looks back towards Ponyville.
>Come on, go home.
>You feel your heart drop as it begins walking towards town.
>Don’t come back this way.


>Anonymous has returned to the back door of Sugarcube Corner.
>Well, it seems to be able to recognize places.
>You can see Pinkie looking out her window, and she can see you studying the both of them.
>She won’t try anything with you watching.
>You’re going to stick with the noninterference plan, but it may be too late to work now.
>Only thing to do is to keep taking notes.

>7 hours into observation.
>Anonymous has been directly exposed to ponies for the second time since its arrival.
>One of the local mares gave it some cake batter, despite being told not to, and it is possible Anonymous now sees her as a provider of food.
>Anonymous was taken farther outside of town, but came back to said mare’s house.
>Either through a sense of navigation, shape, color, or smell recognition Anonymous was able to discern which house was said mares.

>7 hours and 10 minutes into observation.
>Anonymous has stopped knocking and has tried opening the door.
>When it found the door locked it tried to force its way in.
>Anonymous may turn aggressive when denied food.
>There appears to be no damage being done to the door, but I am ready to interfere if Anonymous proves dangerous.

>7 hours and 15 minutes into observation.
>Anonymous has given up on trying to force their way through the door.
>They are now trying to stick their hands under the door or in-between the cracks of the frame.
>They have even poked sticks under the door.
>Anonymous may be familiar with using tools.

>7 hours and 20 minutes into observation…
>”Hey Twilight.”
“AH!”
>You jump up at the sudden voice hovering slightly above you.
>Looking at the source you see Rainbow Dash holding Spike.
>”Brought something for ya.”
>She sets Spike down on the balcony.
>”Thanks Rainbow Dash. I owe ya one.”
>Spike gives her a mock salute and heads back downstairs.


“Dash what are you doing here? You should be inside.”
>”Yeah, well, Pinkie flagged me down at her front door and asked me to bring Spike back. You shoulda seen the guy. He was shaking like crazy when that thing started banging on the door.”
>Oh dear, you forgot him again. You need to stop forgetting about your friends during work. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

>You’ll have to make it up to him somehow.
>”Not that I blame him. Even I don’t want to stick around long with that thing trying to get in.”
“Thanks Rainbow. I’m glad he’s back home safely, but you shouldn’t be out here.”
>”I’m heading back soon. What’s up with that thing anyway? Why’s it trying to get into the Cake’s house?”
>Yes, why?
“Because SOMEP0NY fed it cake batter.”
>She starts having a laugh.
>”Lemme guess; Pinkie? And now it’s back for seconds. I just don’t know about that mare sometimes.”
>Neither do you.

“She certainly likes to make things difficult sometimes.”
>Dash ceases her little chuckle.
>”So you think she’s okay in there?”
“It doesn’t seem able to get pass the door so she should be fine. I’ll step in if need be”
>”Well she didn’t seem worried when I picked up Spike, so I guess she’s alright. I’ll keep a look out for if you need me.”
“Thanks Dash.”

>You turn to resume your watch, but Dash catches your attention again.
>”Speaking of Pinkie, she asked me to distract you for a bit.”
>Huh? What is the party mare up to?
“Why?”
>”No idea, but I would guess it has to do with her new friend. I did owe her a favor so…”
“Hmmm.”
>What would Pinkie want to….wait a minute!
“RAINBOW DASH!”
>Cracking herself up like always she flies away enjoying her little ruse.
>“Catch ya later Twilight.”

>You immediately turn back towards your telescope and feverishly hunt for Pinkie.
>She’s in her window and…is that a fishing pole she’s holding?
>Following the string down to the street you see a cupcake bobbing on the end.
>Anonymous makes a grab for the cupcake and having successfully caught it begins eating.
“PINKIE!”
>She shoots up into the air, and snaps the rod back into the window. The cupcake comes free leaving Anonymous with its prize.
>That mare is going to turn your mane gray.

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