Bad Jokes/Bad Touch

Main story by Anonymous;
>Day Anon's shitty humor is too much for the ponies in Equestria.
>You are Anon and you were declared to have the worst jokes.
>Atleast back on Earth.
>For some reason ponies thought that your jokes were comedy gold and couldn't resist laughing at them.
>You even managed to make Celestia herself to laugh like a maniac.
>After that, she pleaded you to make less jokes so that ponies wouldn't lose their sides permanently.
>But there was one, who was able to keep a straight face after your jokes.
>Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie's sister.
>No matter what you tried, she would always resist the urge to laugh.
>One time you got close. You saw clearly that the corners of her mouth twitched.
>Today you are going to make her laugh. Here in the Sugarcube Corner.
>You patiently wait for her to come downstairs and prepare your best jokes.
>"Anon, what are you doing so early here? It's barely 6 AM"
>You look at the counter and see Mr Cake.
"I'm on a mission. It's the most important thing and it could change the world as we know it."
>"What kind of mission and why here?"
"It's classified. Don't ask anymore questions or I'm forced to use my jokes on you."
>"Wha-..."
"Why did the chicken cross the road?"
>"Umm... I don't know. Why?"
"To get to the other side of course"
>Mr Cake erupts in a mad laughter, he can barely keep on his hooves.
>"Hahaahaaha. Anon hahaha. That was a good hahahaah one."
>Not long and he passes out due to the lack of air to breath.
"Now to wait for the main target."
>"Who's the main target?"
>It's Pinkie. She just appeared out of nowhere, like usual.
"Your sister Maud. I'm gonna make her laugh. Wanna help?"
>Pinkie was the second funniest person in all Equestria, her help should come in handy.
>"Okie dokie lokie. What do you want me to do?"
"You have to make sure that Maud hears all my jokes and doesn't escape during all of this"
"Alrighty."
>You two wait for Maud and eventually she comes downstairs.
>"Morning Pinkie. Morning Anon."
"Good morning Maud, you sure slept like a rock"
>The joke didn't have any effect on Maud, but unfortunately Pinkie cracks up.
"Damnit, didn't think Pinkie would give up so easily. Oh well, What does a boulder do when pushed?"
>"It moves" Maud responds.
"It, heh, ROCK 'N ROLLS!"
>You can see it, that joke had an effect on her. She blinked and her lips twitched a bit.
>Too bad that the last joke was too much for Pinkie. She passed out like Mr Cake.
>It's only you and Maud now.
"You are tough, I give you that. Time to take out the big guns."
>You can feel it. Maud is intimidated, the feeling of laughing being completely foreign to her.
"What do you call a smoking rock?"
>She remains silent.
"...A STONER!"
>She is about to crack, her legs are trembling and she started sweating. She can't hold it any longer. One more and you have achieved victory.
"How are boulders born? You get a stone and make it do something brave: BOLD-ER!"
>It's happening, she is about to laugh. You prepare for the sounds of victory.
>She open her mouth and...
>Out comes a mixture of coughing and laughter. It sounds terrible.
>And here you were waiting for something grandiose.
"Wow, was this your first time laughing?"
>"Yes."
"...Well, that was all. I didn't have anything else to do with you. Have a pleasant day."
>"Wait."
>You stop and turn around to face her.
>"What is rock hard and should be inside of me?"
"...Bones?"
>"Your penis"
>And then sex happened.
>Good End.

Bonus Round Texas Style;
>Finish off in/clean yourself up after with Mr. Cake's butt.
>Mr. Cake wakes up several hours later.
>"Golly that Anon sure is funny."
>He tries to stand up.
>"YEELOWCH!!! I just wish my butt didn't hurt as much as my stomach when I wake up after his jokes."
>Pinkie Pie wakes up
>"Why's my booty so sore?"
>Maud speaks up while staring out the window listlessly.
>"Anon Rocked our worlds."
>Pinkie and Mr. Cake burst out laughing before passing out again.
>Maud returns to her window watching.
>"So this is love?"
>She blinks.
>"Hooray."