How 4chan scams SSI

Let old Uncle Remus help you with that.

foist thang you gots to do is

1. study on up on yo "disibility" this mean that you need to decide what yo ailment is gone be and you has to know teh ins and outs so you can start to modify yo behavior to those specificationmins. that way it will appear genuine to the case worker and any quack they send you to.

now if you done has a real problem which if you're a shut in you prob do even better. its still good to be edumicated on what you want to convey so you can receives duh SSI.

2. Get commited. Wassat? Commited? Why Uncle Remus you ol fool! Now now honey child i know you may have some apprehensionation about being commited but this will almost gurantee you done recieves benefits.

Go to your local intake unit. Yo hospital or whateva. Say to the nice lady "i am feelings suicidal and i need help" Them simle words will land you a 72 hour hold known as a 5150. This is whar you are either a harm to yo self or others.

Is dis drastic? It sho hell is. But lawd if you does wanna sponge off the state you sho need a good reason. Why i remember when i applied fo SSI the lady says "Uncle Remus you done been in any psychiatric care for your claim of disibility in the past 5 years" I says

"Oh lawdy i done just got released from a 5150 because i wanted to kill myself"

I was on SSI within 3 months. Receiving full bennies and no bullshit wait time. Being committed will get you further then any sort of boo sheet story you come up with. After the 72 hour hold is up you simply walk out the hospital with a few perscriptions and more importantly PAPER WORK of your sickness.

3. File a Claim

Now alot of folk will tell you SSI is a helluva time to get on. Well now if you don did numba 2 you on the fast lane to financial freedom (or slavery)
Still one must go thru a few things befo old uncle sam hands ovah any amount of money.

Apply to Social Security Disability right after you have been committed. Let dem know you are looking to recieve benefits beacuse you are unable to take care of yo self financially. They will send the proper forms. These forms ask a whole battery of questions but the hardest part is done filling out the STATE REASON FOR DISIBILITY CLAIM STATE. PROOF OF DISABILITY CLAIM

well now if you done did what i done told ya in part 2 you would be whistling dixie. If not make sure you have some sort of medical "proof"...past perscriptions for depression works fine. Yo doctor should have all dis. Dont have that? Still fill it out. I done put everything under the sun cept the heebie jeebies. PSTD, DEPRESSION, PSYCHOSIS. Again i had done studied all these things so i was prepared and informed in case they called me out! So fill out all the forms in they entirety...aint no harm in lyin but make sho you know yo shit.

4. The Process

Now dis is where yall gone have to suck up yo pride and hold on to ya butts. You see how well you filled out the papers will speed up the process of getting approved. If you done it good they should contact you by phone to schedule a walk in appointment. This can be speeded up if you constantly call to check on yo case. Use these moements to sound agitated. To sound like you is crazy!

When yall get yo walk in. Go in like a crazy man. Why i don sat down in teh lobby and started actin a fool right away. Subtle is teh key. I brought a folder with all my scrips, all my forms, all my doctor notes, and then put the folder on the chair. You see i have OCD. So it makes sense to display my behvior in public. Always act as if someone is watching. Cuz suga they probably is!

When called in to speak to yo case worker. Act aloof, dispondant, anxious. Repeat words, wring your hands...DONT SHAKE HER.HIS HAND...and if you do wipe your hands on your pants before and after. All this stuff is taken in. All this stuff tells them "THIS BOY IS SHO CRAZY!" hell we aint even got to the interview. They will go over your forms and a bunch of mumbo jumbo. At some point they will say "So you believe you cannot work?"

"Why...i want to...i like to work...but when im at work my *symptoms really kick in...i dont wanna be on SSI forever...i just need to really focus on getting healthy...because im having a real tough time. I was done reading about your back to wrok program and i can see myself doin something like taht in a few years."

Back to work? What that. Well if ya done read the SSI site and FAQ youd done know! Showing that you are some what informed will let this bitch know you are serious bout *getting better!

We don't wanna get better tho do we Uncle Remus?

WELL OF COURSE NOT. Thing is the state doesnt wanna give moey to flagrant free loaders. If you show some initiative towards getting "healthy" you stand a much better chance of receiving aide.

hang around cuz there are only 2-3 parts left

OK Niggerspeak off. If the interview goes well the bleeding heart case worker will empathize with your plight. She will recommend you see a doctor...no, not your doctor...THE SSI DOCTOR. This is the man who determines if you should receive benefits.

Final boss fight.

This interview is usually held in a separate location a few weeks from the first interview at the social security office. The doc will take you thru a simple question and answer and then finally a sort off... aptitude test.

If you have followed my instructions you should have no trouble defeating him. All your training will determine your success.

Just remember to exhibit the symptoms. After all...

YOU ARE SICK. This is the realization i came too as i stood outside the office. What kind of fucking 'normal' person would go thru this manipulation and acts of self humiliation just to avoid working? A scum bag. A deviant. Sure criminals scam the system all the time. Problem is they continue to do it and a year down the road they are caught doing something dumb like shoplifting and are dropped from their SSI. So if you recieve the bennies. Be cool. Dont go wild. Dont break the law. Lay low.


What i find funny about this whole thing is the fact
The time off has really given me chance for self reflection. SSI can help you sustain a NEET lifestyle but eventually it can also give you that extra kick to start helping yourself. Good luck.