GIVE EM THE GOOFBALLS JON (copypasta)

GUYS THIS IS SERIOUS.

I'M WORKING SECURITY AT PAX.

SOMETHING HUGE HAPPENED.

It may look pretty on the inside, but everyone's going nuts on the inside. The bigwigs are fucking livid, and trying to keep the information flow down to a minimum.

Word is, Boogie tried to meet up with Zoe in the Sony booth. Zoe was absolutely livid and didn't want to talk about anything, but Boogie kept insisting and insisting, until finally, Zoe snapped and got physical, shoving him away.

He tumbled into a lineup in front of a Vita demo unit, landing on the hard concrete with nobody to break his fall on. People say they heard a loud crack, and he's been unconscious since.

After this, a muscular black woman screamed "HE DIDN'T DO NUFFIN'" and leapt at Zoe, turning the situation into an all out brawl. There's been no concrete evidence of what exactly went down or who was involved.

Witnesses say that they clearly heard somebody say "GIVE 'EM THE GOOFBALLS, JON!", and Phil Fish has been confirmed hospitalized, with a Five Guys burger shoved down his throat.

It's a fucking madhouse down here. If ANY word of this spread out, the integrity of the gaming culture might forever be tarnished, so I'm being told to keep quiet. But I won't be silenced. Spread the word. I'll report back if something else happens, but GET THE WORD OUT.