AJT - The Fight Club (unfinished)

(Note, read this story in Edward Nortan's voice)
Hello, I'm your average suit and tie type of guy.
I take cabs back to my apartment complex and eat nutella out of the jar late at night while watching Soap Operas. I have your typical paperwork job that no one likes but pays good money. I have a good deal on my apartment room, not to mention my amazing furniture, it seems useless, but I buy more of them everyday. I live in Canterlot, on that side of town that everyone wishes they could live on. Who am I you ask? I'm no one, I'm just some Anonymous guy, you can say I'm Anon.

>I woke up in the middle of the night
>It was 3:24 am
>This insomnia was killing me
>I got up off my couch and walked over to the my fridge, I pulled out a jar of jelly.
>I turned on my tv set and switched it over to channel 43
>My favourite show was on, "Celestia and Luna"
>In this episode, Luna was trying to get her husband to start a Ménage à trois with her and Celestia.
>Hopefully, Celestia's husband won't find out.

>As I watched on, I notice my clock going slower and slower
>It was finally nine, thank the lord
>I got ready to go to work, I had my usual white button up shirt, my grey slacks, my black coat, and my black tie.
>I went outside and waved over a taxi
>This guy was my usual driver
>We shared mindless banter until he took me to my stop
>He always gave me a discount
>At my job was no better, I always watched the clock go by
>I always dreamed of throwing out out the window near my cubicle
>I always got a water before I got started on my work, I think it would help me sleep instead of drinking coffee.
>I always notice my co-workers drinking Starswirl Bucks
>It made me sick seeing this, Spending over $30 for a small cup of joe
>I was daydreaming, dreaming of spilling all the coffee in the world in a volcano, just letting it add to the heat
>"Anon.......Anon!"
>I was awoken back to reality
Hmm?
>It was my boss, Mr. Fancy Pants
>No it wasn't some joke about how rich he was, his name was really Fancy Pants
>This was the type of guy who if you were to talk about 'real' work, like excavation or mining, he'd be sick
>"Anonymous, I need you to go to Manehatten to file some things"
Can't you just do that over the phone? Or send a fax?
>"You would think it's that easy, but it's not, now listen here boy, these are some important documents you'll be getting and filing, you'd better not screw it up"
Okay, just..tell me what I need to do and where to go over there and I'll get it done.
>Soon later, I clocked off work
>I had some time to kill before I had to go onto the flight, so I decided to go to my doctor
>My doctor was as normal as can be, he wouldn't hurt a fly, him and his nurse Miss Redheart
>I needed some type of medication to help me sleep, but I didn't want to take tylonel or nightquil that'll most likely kill me
>"No no no"
What?
>"I mean no, I'm not going to give you anything, you need natural rest is all"

You don't understand...I need this! I need sleep..This is pain!
>The doctor gave me a look, the type of look that was like 'Are you kidding me?'
>It was cynical, or maybe it was my mind killing me for not sleeping
>"You wanna see pain? Go to the seminars for the men who thought they got ebola, that's painful"
>And like that, he left
>I left back to my apartment and got my things ready for my flight
>Boy oh boy I hope its' engines fail and crashes
>Insurance would pay triple if you die during a business trip....but who would get the money? I didn't know anybody.
>I shrugged this thought and left
>The flight was uneventful as could be
>Everything was boring, single serving this, single serving that, even the inflight movies sucked
>What the hell is a Rainbow Rocks?
>I got the hell off easily without a single word when it landed
>I even got a Buh-bye from the attendant
>I went to a hotel and laid down in their beds
>The insomnia wouldn't end
>I went to the place I had to and got the papers
>I did the work, filed everything
>I was an inch from suicide
>Everything seemed normal actually

>I always think of suicide, but I'll never go through with it.
>After a few days, my work was done.
>I was on my flight back home.
>I was trying to watch the in-flight show, some guy kerb stomped someone in black and white.
>I was getting into it, but the guy next to me was reading the panphlet for plane safeness.
>"Step one, continue to ignore all the rules and do what you want in-case of a crash."
>He saw me looking at him
So...you don't follow those?
>"No, of course not, how often do you survive a plane crash to say you followed these rule?"
Good point...I suppose
>The tone in his voice suggested he was hot-head
So...what do you do? Like for a living?
>"Why? So you can tell your white cloth friends about the dirty looking guy who sat next to you on the plane who acted stupid?" he was asking
N-No, I mean, c'mon
>"Home renovation"
Huh?
>"I do home renovation, I put together homes, fix 'em, or wreck them, either or, I do different jobs though." he answered
Oh, well then....
>This guy, he was the older brother everyone wish they had
>He could smash a wall with just a sledgehammer
>He was the type of guy who could stick some porn on a kid rated tv show
>While people weren't home, he was there fixing their furniture....or he was breaking them
>All of this, and the guy's name was
Discord, Home renovation and cleaning service
>He had given me his card which he pulled out of a suit case filled with bars of soap for whatever reason
>His motto was, "I'll either fix your home or fill it with Discord."
>I don't know what possessed me to keep the card
>We didn't talk much after the flight, but I didn't care
>The plane had landed and I was about to take a cab home
>I saw Discord hitching a ride on a couch that was being moved behind a flatbed truck
>The ride home was uneventful as usual
>I stepped inside and was going to attempt to sleep but then I remembered what the doc told me

>I switched into fresher clothes then stepped back outside
>The seminar wasn't too far away wasn't too far off so I walked
>I arrived at the building, and there were quite a lot of guys
>I put on a name tag and sat down
>Everyone was sharing their stories
>After a few guys, there was one guy named Spike
>He was sharing his story
>"I just don't know...After the news got out that the virus ebola got into the US, I feared for my life, then I got diagnosed with it, I was scared, not many people survived ebola! Then after the whole hoax that ebola wasn't even a real virus, I became a laughing stock, even worse, it turned out, I actually had herpes, you know how many people avoided me, and donated money to me? After all that, I was bankrupted."
>Everyone consoled him, and so did I, I realised something, as people shared, I started dosing off
>I eventually fell into a nap
>After I woke up, it was time to go
>Everyone said bye to eachother and we all left
>Hell...That was the best damn sleep of my life!
>I thought to myself, maybe if I keep going to these things, I'll get even more sleep
>I went back home
>I opened a newspaper and looked for more meetings for disorders that people had
>Why...there was a shit ton!
>Nut cancer
>Tard regiments
>Sex addicts
>Holy fucking balls there was a lot of these!