Before you can stop burning rubber, Naka rolls into the room in her wheelchair. “Don't be coy, boy! Your entire existence involves being a hard tube filled with seamen just waiting to shoot your load into an attractive target." She giggles brightly and gives him a big, happy-go-lucky wink; the picture of pure, pretty innocence.

Harder makes that wheezing sound unique to people choking on popcorn.

“Japan's not militarist anymore~” Naka singsongs, twirling her wheelchair in a perfect 360 with no apparent effort, ending by striking another cute pose with her hands; two L's with fingers and thumbs to frame her face in a box. “We're all about cute things now – like me!”

Harder coughs hard, managing to clear his throat, but he hasn't figured out anything to say yet. For the first time you realize he's only wearing a standard sleeveless undershirt and boxers – standard attire for a seaman off-duty. Apparently Harder's realizing too, from the rapidly changing hue of his face. “It's all about pretty, fluffy, sweet, cute things. Nobody has time for dark days and sad thoughts! That's why I'm an idol – a pretty girl that brings joy to everyone's heart!” She gives Harder a smile bright enough to illuminate the room, and you can almost see his eyes popping out of his head. “The people of Japan would never accept us if we were grim reminders of their awful past and bitter defeat, so we have to adapt ourselves to the modern age.”

“Buh,” Harder gasps. “You. But.”

[...]

Harder has backed up against the opposite wall, his eyes flicking between you both warily. “I don't believe you.”

“Naka?” you instruct. “The TV.”

She looks up your arm and gives you a sly wink with a little smirk that only touches one corner of her mouth; so Harder can't see it. Then she plucks the remote off the small central table and clicks the TV on. Harder twitches as it comes on – you doubt he knew what it was – but he's soon transfixed by the tableau on display. It's a daytime game show, and it seems to involve idols trying to cook and spending more time licking frosting off each other's noses instead.

“Ghrk,” Harder comments.

Naka changes the channel, bumping into a girl's anime – it looks like Precure. Magical spinning staffs, cute little magical girls, and lace – for the first time, you realize Naka's skirt looks remarkably like a Magical Girls, with the poofiness and the lace and the... shortness. Harder's eyes flick back to Naka, making the connection around the same time the little witch slowly, deliberately crosses her legs, giving him a good look at her thighs. His eyes flick up to you as he seems to rise up on his toes, trying to slide up the damn wall to escape. You just shrug, and point back at the TV. Naka keeps channel-surfing. Hard Gay is the next show she finds, and you bump Naka's shoulder gently to convey that this won't be very effective on Harder. She starts surfing again till-

“Oh this one,” she giggles. “I didn't know they were airing re-runs.”

“WHAT,” Hardre wheezes, “IS THAT-”

“Chuck Yeager,” you say.

“WHY DOES HE HAVE TITS-”