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we need to import more guns from china

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Mar 23rd, 2017
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  1. Ghaznavian Iran objects to France's and Venice's goals to obtain blackpowder weapons at this time. Some of you might not be completely aware of this, but blackpowder weapons are very dangerous things. They're a lot more than just a tool that lets you wave your dick around in your enemy's face. They kill people. Lots of people. Hundreds, or even thousands of people.
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  3. They're dangerous. They're dangerous when expansionist empires have them. They're dangerous when great powers like the Turks have them. They're dangerous when smaller forces have them.
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  5. But, they're especially dangerous when rogue factions or rebels or anybody that shouldn't have them gets their hands on one. Both of your client states are unstable right now. Leon, Carlini, what would you do if the Egyptians or the pagan Greeks managed to get their hands on one of your weapon caravans?
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  7. Nothing, that's what. You'd be dead. If you're worried about your existence, you really shouldn't be. You've managed to fight off, or at least buy out almost the entire Levant on your own, most of the time without the help of blackpowder weapons.
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  9. Carlini, you have some serious rebel issues. Do you think that you really have a 100% guarantee of keeping every single fire lance out of rebel hands? What if someone starts assisting those rebels? What if the Turks start assisting those rebels? Now you have some Turkish rebels that have a serious chance of getting blackpowder weapons and blowing you up!
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  11. You guys should take care of your own internal stability issues before you even think about messing around with blackpowder.
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  13. Plus, there's another issue with blackpowder proliferation. The dick waving. The Franks and the Romans love to wave their dicks around and go "HEY LOOK AT US WE HAVE BLACKPOWDER WEAPONS FROM THE FAR EAST NOW. AREN'T WE SO COOL?". They want to be the Kings and Queens of Fire. If the rest of the world starts manufacturing more blackpowder weapons, they'll have to import even more so they can keep waving their dicks around and being the best and mightiest crusaders in all the land. And once we got this cycle going, we suddenly start speeding to worldwide explosive warfare. Once we got these empires waving around their dicks a lot more, and giving them even bigger dicks to work with, then we have a chance of catastrophe.
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  15. There's a chance that as they wave their massive blackpowder demolition dicks around, their dicks could touch. And once they touch, they'll freak out because they just touched someone else's dick. That's when explosive warfare happens.
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