Christopher_Maxim AMA

@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray:	Which of your nosleep peers would you most like to collaborate with?
+Christopher_Maxim
Definitely iia! He comes with with amazing narratives and and pumps out tons of stories, executing each of them brilliantly. I would love to see what we could accomplish
@Kristy
Question from iwantabearr: do you listen to music when you write?  If so what kind?
+Christopher_Maxim
When I write, it has to be instrumental music. I enjoy piano from myuu (creepypasta music composer) and progressive metal instrumentals. It helps me envision the scene, sometimes.
@Kristy
Question from Polar_Starburst:	what's your creepiest paranormal or other experience?
+Christopher_Maxim
I've had many of these. I'll share a couple. One time, as a teenager, my parents and siblings were all out of the house.I took advantage of this and chose to sleep in my parents' bed, as it was the most comfortable bed in the house. As soon as I laid down, I heard strange noises coming from up in the attic. Scared, I decided to sleep downstairs. I had the television on, as well as a window fan. I slept, and woke up a couple of hours later. The TV and fan were both turned off. I ended up breaking into my dad's second truck and sleeping in there. Another time, while investigating a cemetery, my brother was tackled to the ground by unseen forces. It was wild!
@Kristy
Question from survivalprocedure: What is it that you hope the readers of your stories receive after they've finished one of your stories?
+Christopher_Maxim
I aim to confuse my readers and make them think, but ultimately, in some of my stories, I want them to be engrossed in the world I've created. I want them to wonder "what if I lived in this world?" or "what if this happened to me?" or even "could this really happen?"
@Kristy
Question from kneeod:	If you absolutely had to, gun to your head, would you rather drink a glass of prison wine, or bath using only used urinal cakes?
+Christopher_Maxim
Both!
@Kristy
Question from TanjaSimone: Do you ever write stories in a non-NoSleep format or setting?
+Christopher_Maxim
Yes. My book Parallel Duality, though it has vaguely creepy elements, is at its core a psychological thriller. But as of late, I stick to NoSleep. Eventually, I would like to write a fantasy novel. Only time will tell
@Kristy
Question from survivalprocedure: What are some of your unique/strange quirks?
+Christopher_Maxim
I absolutely have to wash my hands before touching food. If I'm at a restaurant and I order food, I have to go the bathroom after the food's arrived to wash my hands before eating. I can't help it haha
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: If you could go back and change anything about one of your stories, what would you change and why?
+Christopher_Maxim
I should have done some more research on codebreaking and the deep web before writing "I Bought My Dad on Ebay". To anyone who's familiar with either of these topics, the story comes off as unrealistic
@Kristy
Question from Polar_Starburst: do you like rabbits? why do you like rabbits so much? is there something we should know?
+Christopher_Maxim
I DON'T HAVE A FETISH FOR RABBITS! THAT'S ABSURD!...WHO TOLD YOU?! But really, I used to own five rabbits. I'm a sucker for any and all cute furballs.
@Kristy
Question from deadnspread: Could Jesus himself microwave a burrito so hot that even he couldn't eat it?
+Christopher_Maxim
I've been asked this many times. Considering microwaves at the time of his existence were low-power, most likely not. But, considering Jesus had the ability to time travel, he could find himself in a Kohls, purchasing a brand new Kenmore Elite Series microwave. Those little devils will cook your eyebrows off if you stand too close to them.
@Kristy
Question from imaginarygown: What is your favorite thing about the NoSleep community?
+Christopher_Maxim
The suspension of disbelief. It makes the stories real, even if they're not, and makes each story a new and exciting venture to participate in. I can go on a random story and ask the OP for more details, and he or she will provide them, effectively adding to the tale. It's a very unique system that allows for a lot of interaction and inspiration. I love it
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: If you were to meet Wesley Snipes in person, would yo  prefer to ask about wanting to ight Joe Rogan in an mma fight, or about his rampant tax evasion?
+Christopher_Maxim
I just watched Joe Rogan's podcast for the first time, last night. Weird... but definitely the tax evasion thing.
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: In your opinion, what is the difference, if any, between NoSleep stories and general creepypasta writing?
+Christopher_Maxim
You can argue that there is no difference, as the two have kind of melded together with the aid of creepypasta narrations. Plus creepypasta itself is now a loose definition. Anything with even a slight tinge of horror can be considered a creepypasta. But, if I'm only looking at your typical creepypasta and your typical NoSleep story, then yes, there are differences. Creepypasta tends to stick to beings/entities whereas NoSleep stories are grounded in the real world and tend to include things that almost certainly can happen in real life.
@Kristy
Question from survivalprocedure: Have you ever cried during a movie? And if so, what movie?
+Christopher_Maxim
Yes. Patch Adams, man.
@Kristy
Question from iwantabear: Do you have some sort of schedule for writing?
+Christopher_Maxim
I don't. Inspiration strikes daily, but I have to be in the mood to write at my best. Sometimes I force myself into this mood, but it definitely doesn't occur on a fixed schedule.
@Kristy
Question from Polar_Starburst: what's your favorite thing about figging?
+Christopher_Maxim
The feeling I get upon insertion, of course.
It also makes anything taste like ginger ale afterwards
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: When sculpting, what type of clay do you use, and why is it 12 gage granular clay from a prison yard?
+Christopher_Maxim
It makes for a more accurate mold when I make my "How To Escape From Prison" claymation tutorials on hulu
@Kristy
Question from survivalprocedure: Who does the artwork on your website?
+Christopher_Maxim
I have an arsenal of artists at my disposal, most of which I've met on fiverr.com. The background of my site, which is also the cover of the second edition of my book Parallel Duality, was illustrated by Marika Kraukle.
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Backstreet Boys or Nsync?
+Christopher_Maxim
Backstreet Boys
hands down
@Kristy
Question from Polar_Starburst: if you were a midget for a day, what would you do?
+Christopher_Maxim
Take a bath in one of my shoes. I've always wanted to do that
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Who is your daddy, and what does he do?
+Christopher_Maxim
I actually have two, straight dads and they are both truck drivers. I will provide no further context, if only to confuse you ;)
@Kristy
Question from survivalprocedure: What inanimate object do you own that has sentimental value to you?
+Christopher_Maxim
My guitars!
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Please assemble your dream zombie apocalypse team using at least 2, but no more than 5, other nosleepers
+Christopher_Maxim
iia, chewingskin (see what I did there?), 1000vultures (those would come in handy), and Kevin Smith (not a nosleeper, but yeah)
@Kristy
Question from baconmoontwist: Describe yourself in two and a half words
+Christopher_Maxim
I'm ok (half of 'okay' HA!)
Wait but that's one and a half. Oh well.
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Fuck, marry, kill. Ernest borgnine, Betty white, your own mother.
+Christopher_Maxim
Kill ernest, fuck Betty White (then apologize after), and marry my Mom
@Kristy
Question from Valka:  Kill, fuck, marry. Trump, Pence, Putin.
+Christopher_Maxim
Kill all of them!
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Fuck, marry, kill: take your pick from the nosleep moderator team
+Christopher_Maxim
Fuck ibitemynails because that's hot, Kill nobody... 554, and marry the NoSleepAutoBot
@Kristy
Question from iwantabear: kill or befriend?
+Christopher_Maxim
Kill or befriend who? You? Befriend. I like bears too!
@Kristy
Question from Polar_Starburst: when you hear the word mom followed by eggplant, what comes to mind?
+Christopher_Maxim
It honestly reminds me of my mom's awesome cooking. But then it takes a turn for the worst and involves my mom in the oven with an eggplant for a head. Hmmm.... story inspiration
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Who is your favorite nosleep author that isn't iia, 1000vultures or yourself?
+Christopher_Maxim
Jaksim. I've enjoyed quite a few of his stories
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: In your interview, you stated your former band opened up for Hawthorne Heights and the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. What was that experience like?
+Christopher_Maxim
I've played a lot of shows, but that one was the most nerve wracking and probably one of the worst shows we played! There was an issue with my guitar not staying in tune, so no matter what, it sounded dreadful coming through the PA. In hindsight I should of switched guitars with the lead guitarist, as it wouldn't have been as noticeable with lead riffs. But overall, it was a wild show with some of the best mosh pits I've ever witnessed
@Kristy
Question from baconmoontwist: What's your least favourite colour?
+Christopher_Maxim
The one's I can't see
@Kristy
Question from Valka: I NEED TO KNOW. What's the name of your former band?
+Christopher_Maxim
I'll never tell! Just kidding. It was "Sunday Liar"
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Boxers, briefs, tighty whiteys or do you just raw dog that shit?
+Christopher_Maxim
I used to go commando, but I've been converted to the tighty whitey faith
@Kristy
Question from survivalprocedure: Do you feel you writer better under different circumstances of emotion?
+Christopher_Maxim
Yes! The best example I can give, is when a movie messes with your feels. After seeing a good flick that hits me where it counts, I feel compelled to write a good story and I find it much easier to do
@Kristy
Question from Polar_Starburst: on average what do your boogers taste like?
+Christopher_Maxim
polar-flavored starbursts
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: What song played on infinite repeat would drive you insane the fastest?
@Kristy
+Christopher_Maxim
Anything by me!
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 10 duck sized horses?
+Christopher_Maxim
You just tapped into my secret fear. I have to go with the horses.I was once surrounded by a bunch of hungry geese, and bitten by an ostrich (seriously). Not ducks, but still
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: What fruit do you empathize with most strongly? What fruit fills you with an unmatched fury?
+Christopher_Maxim
I empathize with grapes as I often feel like I'm fermenting. Take that however you want. Peaches fill me with utter rage
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Would you rather cut your wrists and black your eyes, or cut your eyes and black your wrists?
+Christopher_Maxim
That depends. Where's my heart? Is it in Ohio? If so, will I fall asleep tonight? Or die?
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Fuck, marry, kill: choose from everyone currently in this AMA (you can't pick yourself)
+Christopher_Maxim
Fuck baconmoontwist, marry iwantabear, and kill bloodygonzo
@kneeod
(baconmoontwist is 15 ABORT ABORT)
+Christopher_Maxim
I couldalso fuck an imaginarygown
@Kristy
(better)
+Christopher_Maxim
CRAP! NOT AGAIN!
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Would you rather be stuffed inside a locker for a day, or trapped at the bottom of a dumpster full of trash for an hour?
+Christopher_Maxim
Dumpster. I could find a lot of cool stuff in there. My friend dumpster dives and constantly brings me gifts. There's also more likely to be food in there.
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Which Backstreet Boy member do you find most sexually alluring?
+Christopher_Maxim
Nick, because he's youngest. I mean because of the blonde hair.
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Is there any amount of money that would get you to allow a goose to step on your genitals for a fetish website?
+Christopher_Maxim
At least $2
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Favorite pizza topping?
+Christopher_Maxim
ONIONS
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Who's your favorite character on Sesame Street?
+Christopher_Maxim
That red one with the orange nose. Can't remember his name. (Not Elmo. Fuck Elmo)
@Kristy
Question from kneeod: Would you rather eat a bowl of mouse traps, or stick your dick in a bucket of needles?
+Christopher_Maxim
WHAT? I RECENTLY WROTE A STORY (UNRELEASED) ABOUT A GUY PUTTING A NEEDLE NEAR HIS JUNK! (this is getting weird). Definitely the dick thing. That would please me in many ways
@Kristy
Question from TanjaSimone: What would be your stripper name if it wasn't Christopher Maxim?
+Christopher_Maxim
Alex Trebek
@Kristy
Question from imaginarygown: If you're going to fuck me are you going to pay for my dinner first?
+Christopher_Maxim
Can we go halvesies???
@Kristy
Question from survivalprocedure: Do you have any fun drunk stories you'd like to share?
+Christopher_Maxim
I HAVE A BUTTLOAD. But I will share one. I once, while drunk, admitted to my mom that I knew I had a different dad (different thanthe one that raised me). She was also drunk. I then consoled my sober father and told him that I didn't think of him any differently
@Kristy
Question from  kneeod: Complete the lyric: My neck, my back...
+Christopher_Maxim
*silence*
@Kristy
Question from deadnspread: You are trying to fuck my girlfriend and you won't even buy her dinner first, what's your fucking problem?
+Christopher_Maxim
I asked her to go halvesises! Equality and what not! Damn
@Kristy
Question from definitelynotnic: why does your name sound like a porn name?
+Christopher_Maxim
Does it? I was once told it sounded like a secret agent's name - "Secret agent Chris Maxim, reporting for duty"
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Did you every worry your 5 rabbits would turn on you Bunnicula status and suck your blood in your sleep?
+Christopher_Maxim
That was one of the first books I ever read! And yes. Why do you think I no longer have them?
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: What's the last thing on your Google search history?
+Christopher_Maxim
"game show host porn compilation complete edition family screwed, press your cuck, who wants to make a million heirs"
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Would you rather cannonball into a swimming pool filled with lukewarm chocolate pudding or cold cooked spaghetti?
+Christopher_Maxim
PUDDING. PLEASE!!!
@Kristy
Question from TanjaSimone: Which actor would play you in the movie about your life?
+Christopher_Maxim
Chris Pratt for sure
@Kristy
Question from baconmoontwist: What would you define as "shitty taste in music"?
+Christopher_Maxim
Ever been in a Stop and Shop supermarket? Their playlist is TERRIBLE (for the most part). Very obscure, overly sappy and unimaginative ballads
@Kristy
Question from imaginarygown: If a genie granted you 3 wishes right now, what would you wish for?
+Christopher_Maxim
1. That pool of pudding that poppymoonray mentioned 2. A new pair of pants 3. To live in the Bioshock game series
@Kristy
Question from Polar_Starburst: what is a kink you think you would try if you were stuck in the ISS with Gary Coleman?
+Christopher_Maxim
I'd fire up my Gary Coleman grill with built in MP3 player and listen to some tunes while cooking a burger
@Kristy
Question from PhantomMat: You said you'd wish to live in the Bioshock game series. Which game is the right one?
+Christopher_Maxim
I love them all equally, but I would like to live in Infinite
Or the Witcher or Dragon Age worlds
@Kristy
Question from imaginarygown: What’s your biggest regret in life?
+Christopher_Maxim
Not going to college. I still might, however.
@Kristy
Question from baconmoontwist: McLaren P1 or Porsche 918?
+Christopher_Maxim
1967 Chevy Impala
@Kristy
Question from PhantomMat: You have to have an awkward date with any one mythical creature. What is the lucky beast and what's the food?
+Christopher_Maxim
Alduin, the dragon from Skyrim. Our food? Dead imperials
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: What noise do you make when you karate chop something? Please be as phonetically accurate as possible.
+Christopher_Maxim
PEEPEEPOOPOO!!!!!!!!
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: What animal do you think you resemble most closely?
+Christopher_Maxim
Goose ass
@Kristy
Question from imaginarygown: What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?
+Christopher_Maxim
It might not seem crazy to you, but going on the terrifying Superman rollercoaster at Six Flags. It took a lot to get me to go on this thing. I was freaking petrified. But I would do it again. It was fun
@Kristy
Question from poppymoonray: Which of your stories is your favorite? Least favorite? Why?
@Kristy
+Christopher_Maxim
Favorite? "There's Something Terribly Wrong With My Son" (book version) as it challenged me in many ways when expanding it. I also really like the premise of "The Statue in the Park" Least favorite? That damned Hatchimal story. I almost deleted it, but then a great narration of it was released on youtube. It was too silly, but the reading is great
@Kristy
Question from baconmoontwist: what music is slightly above mediocre?
+Christopher_Maxim
Most of what's on today's Country stations is a toss-up between below mediocre, mediocre, and slightly above mediocre. I'm not insulting the genre, but it's strayed too far from its roots in the past 10 years or so, in my opinion
@Kristy
Last question from kneeod: Do you have any advice for new or aspiring authors?
+Christopher_Maxim
Always accept constructive feedback to improve your art. It will do nothing but make you a better writer. That, and don't give up. Keep writing. Your brain is a muscle. Keep flexing it and practicing and you will achieve greatness, given enough time. I hope I can get there one day myself
@Kristy
That's it, folks! Thank you so much to Christopher_Maxim for participating! Stay tuned to NoSleepInterviews' next victim, Human_Gravy!