Anon In Equestria 1. "Introductions"

>Your name is Anonymous
>And recently your life took a very strange turn
>A right turn to be precise
>straight off of normal life lane and down everything has gone to shit oh god what the fuck street.
>About a week ago you stood in front of your mirror, going through your daily routine.
>Whilst shaving you foolishly decided to say "Adventure" three times as you stared at your reflection
>You saw a light flicker in your reflection's eye.
>It had you enamoured, like a moth caught in the dance of an azure flame
>So you leaned in closer, and closer, and closer... wondering what that new glimmer was.
>and after slowly being reeled in, your nose touched the glass
>The next thing you knew you were being pulled in by the mirror.
>It was as if someone had grabbed you by the throat and was dragging you towards whatever it was you saw in your reflection
>Everything went black, with only a tiny speck of light that looked like a star infront of you
>The light twisted and contorted into an image as it was being catapulted towards you
>and then WHAM!
>Going head first into the ground had garnered you a face full of dirt
>Plus a nice little cut on your right cheek
>You gasp for air, finally released from the grip of whatever held you
>Your breathing returned to normal as you slowly stood up and looked around, trying to get your bearings
>Nighttime, fantastic.
>Yet it was very quiet, even for nighttime.
>There was no calling of crickets or hooting of owls, the night was deadly quiet.
>You almost heard a voice at the back of your mind remark
>"Welcome to the rabbit hole. Let's see how far you'll tumble."
>After stumbling around in the dark for a couple minutes, you decided to stay put until dawn.
>The ground was cold, but at least it was dry comfy grass.
>From what you could make out you were on a grass hill next to an orchard.
>Looking up, your eyes gazed toward the moon.
>It was full, and giving off a light grey glow.
>You had never seen it so vividly.
>Watching it wade through the sky, your eyes grew heavy.
>That night was a black dreamless sleep.
>"COCKADOODLE-DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"WHAT THE FUC-" Shooting up you look around, after a couple seconds of brain gears turning you realised it was a cockerel.
>Good work brain.
>Thank you sir.
>Well, so much for a lie in. You've got to figure out where the fuck you are.
>And how to get home.
>With the new lease of morning light, a path some 200 metres away.
>Yes! Someone is here!
>You briskly walk towards the path with your head on a swivel.
>Calling out might have been a good idea, but you had seen what had happened to city boys in the woods.
>Deliverance, that fucking film cost you many nights of good sleep.
>You were just glad you didn't think about it last night.
>As you continue down the path, a small spire begins to poke out from the trees.
>A house! a barn? or something?
>You close the distance as it comes into view... it's fantastic.
>An ornately decorated red building with all sorts of apples and apple like artwork.
>You close in on the front door and sheepishly knock three times.
>A muffled voice from inside can be heard
>"Hold on partner, Ah'll be out lickety split!"
>Holy hell that voice isredneck, here's to hoping they have a phone
>You hear the clattering of... hooves? as someone advances towards the door
>"Now what can ah do for-"
>What the fuck
>WhatthefuckWhatthefuckWhatthefuckWhatthefuckWhatthefuckWhatthefuckWhatthefuck
>Brain help me out here
>BRAIN
>HAVING A MELTDOWN HERE
>"M-mister? Y'all right" it says waveringly
"...uuuhhh. who, me? Ahahah yeah!... I'm fine..."
>*THUD*
>That was the first time you had ever fainted
>But to be honest who could fucking blame you
>A horse that stood no taller than your belly button had just spoken to you.
>That same voice from earlier began to echo in your mind, rattling your thoughts with it's laughter
>"hehehehahaha..."
>Your eyelids opened.
>And then they closed.
>And Opened.
>Goddamnit stay open.
>You could feel a rosy warmth on your forehead
>It quickly turned into a fiery heat then a blazing burning
>Groggily you raise your hand up to touch the painful area on your brow
>It felt very fibrous, almost like bandage-
>Your hand quickly pats around the top of your head
>Yep, your entire head from the eyebrow up was wrapped up in linen.
>It also occured to you that you were in a bed
>The sheets were adorned with similar apple decorations you noticed on the barn.
>Did that horse do this?
>Your mind began racing as you heard the same clacking of what you now know was hooves going up stairs
>You stare at the door as your heart follows suit.
>You see the door creak open as it reveals the same horse you saw earlier
>Now being followed by a smaller, paler pony with a dark red mane and pink bow
>Behind it was an older horse, crookedly walking in, followed finally by a giant mountain of red, with a blonde mane
>That one must be a stallion.
>Your speculation was interrupted by the orange one
>"H-howdy mister uh..."
>Your voice croaks "Anonymous"
>"Anonymous, Mah name's Applejack, and this here's Applebloom, Big Mac n' Granny Smith"
>She inhales sharply
>AJ"W-what are ya'll"
>AB"Is it a monster? Is it gon' try to eat us!?" Her eyes widen as her lip begins to quiver in panic
>That Applebloom is adorable.
"No! no, I'm not a monster. I'm a human" you say with a dumb smile
>AJ"Hu-man? Ain't never heard o' that before."
>Her head swings left and right as her peers effectively shrug in an equal loss for words
"Where am I?"
>Applejack's face lights up
>AJ"You're here at Sweet Apple Acres! Best farmin' family patch round this side of Equestria!"
>Your eyebrow involuntarily raises itself
"...Equestria?"
>AJ"Yeah! Equestria! You know, home of all the ponies right?" Her smile slowly fades as you give her a look of fear
>Where the fuck are you, You've never heard of an "Equestria" before.
>A different planet? Too far fetched, it would take thousands of years to find a solar system suitable for-
>AJ"Anonymous, ya still there? Ya banged yer head pretty bad earlier."
"Huh? Yes. Yes I'm fine. If it's alright with you I'd rather get up"
>You can see Applejack stress if she should try and help you, but she steps back in fear of being a nuisance.
>Swinging your legs of the bed you slowly rise
>And hit your head on the ceiling
>Sweet Mary and Joseph that fucking hurts
>You hiss and exhale as you hold the crown of your head
>AJ"Y'alright!?" she says with panic in her tone.
"Still good. I guess I forgot the height difference for a second."
>AJ"Listen here, one of mah closest friends is a unicorn called Twilight Sparkle, That mare is nothin' short of genius. I know you got alotta questions Anonymous. She'll be the one with the answers."
"... A unicorn?"
>Your day just keeps getting more and more lucid.