Proto Fritz Westmyn

 Basic Summary
- Pikachu beats Houndoom after a Thunder.
- Octillery beats Pikachu after an Ice Beam.
- Heracross beats Octillery with a Megahorn
- Lairon beats Heracross after a Metal Burst
- Lairon beats Charizard after an Iron Head/Iron Tail combo following a distraction

Plot Summary
- I enter, cut a promo about Ash, berate Pallet Town and him, and claim my superiority.
- Ash enters and yells at me.
- The battle starts with Pikachu VS. Lairon
- The two Pokemon square off for a while, in Speed VS Defense.
- When Pikachu gets a momentum going and tries to launch a Thunderbolt, I recall Lairon before the attack hits, to many boos (for my dirty but technically legal tactic).
- I send out Houndoom next.
- A more fast-paced matchup ensues, but Pikachu manages to come out on top at the last minute with a surprise Thunder.

- I send out Octillery next.
- Some of Ash's friends try to coach him, warning him that a trainer like me shouldn't make such a mistake, and to be careful.
- I play into this.
- His hestitation costs him, as he jumps out of an Octozooka too late
- Ice Beam finishes it off

- Heracross VS. Octillery
- A very weird battle, involving lots of evasion and hestitation.
- I try a Psybeam, but it gets avoided as Heracross rushes Octillery. I try another, and another, but keep missing as it barrels into Octillery, knocking it out.

- Heracross VS. Lairon
- Lairon takes a nasty hit early on.
- I attempt to subtly cheat with a Potion, but get caught. I say I was trying to find a good luck charm (albeit one I don't believe in and just keep around for moments like this, but they don't know that), and stumbled around.
- While this is happening, I subtley tell Lairon to use Iron Defense followed by Rest via sign language. It gets woken up by the next hit.
- I go on the defensive for a while, blocking every now and then with Protect.
- Finally Heracross gets annoyed and uses Feint. Lairon falls for it, and Heracross rushes in for Close Combat.
- But my Iron Defense trick works, and it isn't damaged as much as expected. Lairon hits an Iron Head to break out of it and quickly fires a Metal Burst to pick up the win.

- Now, it's Charizard VS. Lairon
- I attempt to stall it out with Endeavor and the like, but ultimately, Lairon gets whittled down to the point where it is nearly fainted.
- I mention my manuever.
- More stuff happens. Charizard attempts to move in for a Seismic Toss.
- Suddenly, luck bestowes me as Team Rocket shows up
- I capitalize on the distraction and hit a Double-Edge.
-

Tonight's the finals of the tournament. I spent last night resting. Some might say I'm going in overconfident, but I have good reasons to be. After all - I am the best there is.

Meanwhile, my opponent is an underdog - something the crowds prefer over people with real talent. He's something to be aware of - he knocked off the previous champion - who I got screwed over in my match against him in the last tournament. But as rock can be beaten by paper...uhh...scissors can't cut rock...but it can cut paper! And that's the way it's gonna be tonight!

To give a little backstory, the first opponent was some blue-haired nobody called "Mr. Jamison" or whatever. It was a clean Houndour sweep here, and it evolved into Houndoom from the battle. Round 2 was too uneventful to even mention - I mostly showed off. Now, Round 3 was against El Cormano, the Mexican dream. Round 4 was the only reason I wasn't the second seed in my division: I was facing the first seed, "Drakula", some goth faggot who trains dragons and is a legend of some kind.



I could hear the roar of the crowd in anticipation for the final match. I stood impatiently in the locker area, waiting for my cue.

"Introducing first, from Emirka, !"

With a smug smile on my face, I emerged from the doorway powerwalking, while periodically pointing at myself with two fingers (my "I'm the man" taunt). There were many boos among the audience, the occasional profane statement, and only a few cheers being drowned out. I forgot to mention: I'm not exactly the most popular trainer. And I don't mean that in the "nobody knows me" sense either. People know me all right, but if you want to put it one way, it's for the wrong reasons. At least, that's what they call it. What no one disputes though, is that I am skilled.

I walked straight to the center of the arena and jumped around whilst spinning, all while still pointing at myself. These people didn't know true talent, and I was showing it to them. After a bit of this, I walked over to the announcer and snatched the microphone right from her hand. I prepared to give a speech...

"So, I understand my opponent tonight is from Pallet Town. Heh, what a crock of shit that place is. A podunk little town with nothing to see but a lab. A lab with an old guy who does research that benefits nobody." People reacted negatively to these comments. "And then there's his bias towards his own home country. He takes his little Poke[i]Dicks[/i], and orders the Pokemon he found out were living there at the time first. And then, he gets it adopted as an international standard. He has no shame, not reordering it periodically to make more sense over a matter of national pride." The boos only got more intense at that point. But I was right. They just couldn't handle the truth. I smiled and just continued, "All you Kantonians are that way. You force everyone to abide by your technological ways, your own standards, because you like having that power. You show no respect for places like Hoenn, or the great continent of Emirka." At that mention, the boos got overwhelmingly loud. I even saw security trying to calm some people down. Okay, maybe I got a little too into that, so I decided to wrap it up. "But tonight, the dream ends. Your little hometown hero will have nothing on me. I will emerge as champion of this tournament, and give your country the shame it deserves." With that, I thrust the mic back at the announcer, did my signature "I'm the man" taunt, and took my place.

"And, his opponent...", she stopped to glare at me, "from the wonderful town of Pallet in the wonderful country of Kanto!" The audience erupted in cheers. "Ash Ketchum!"







Pikachu and Lairon stared each other down for a while, as if sizing each other up. An electric rat versus...Lairon. A speedy thing versus a defensive thing.



The kid called out, "Pikachu, [b]THUNDERBOLT![/B]" Immediately upon hearing these words, his Pokemon started to charge up, and its cries became high pitched as it started to glow bright yellow. I've heard of this thing's bolts before, and I wasn't about to fall victim to it, which I proved when I quickly reached out and recalled Lairon before the electricity was even launched.

"Hey, no fair!" the kid cried, but I just shrugged and smiled. I mean, it's not against the rules, is it? The crowd made their displeasure known once again, and the referee shook his head. It's a dick move, but he made my implication clear: there's nothing he could do. The only thing I had to do was switch to another Pokemon, and I knew just the one.





"Houndoom is unable to battle!"

Fuck.

Well, that leaves me with two. I have Lairon, and it was typewise the better choice. But I had other ideas. Instead, I sent out . An Octillery!

I could hear some gasps in the crowd, as if to think I'd gone crazy. A water Pokemon against an electric? I mean, that was a little crazy even by my standards. But still, one of the kid's friends yelled out from the crowd, "Ash! Be careful! An experienced trainer sending out a water-type against an electric-type is suspicious!"

Of course, I'd just chosen it to save the reliable Lairon for later, but I decided to play into this.

"Shut up, no coaching!"

I'm not sure if it was confidence, if he knew what I was thinking, or if he knew what I was "thinking", but he stuck with Pikachu for this fight.



"Pikachu, [b]THUNDERBOLT![/B]"

"[b]NOT SO FAST! OCTILLERY, MIRROR COAT![/B]"

...what's that? You say Octillery can't use Mirror Coat?

I know.

But the kid and his Pikachu didn't, and hesitated. The mind games were getting through to him. I immediately capitalized giving Octillery its next command: "Octillery, Octazooka!" It obliged by sucking it into itself briefly before firing a burst of water, that surely looks like it would be safe to drink, forward at breakneck speeds.

The kid reacted to this: "Dodge it!" But not quickly enough. The Pikachu jumped out of the way a split second too late, and the blast nailed its bottom half. This had the amusing effect of making it go into a spin. I laughed at this in geniune amusement, and said, "Octillery, Ice Beam!" Octillery shook, and fired a bright white beam at the rat. It had no time or room to dodge this. The beam connected dead-on, and it was knocked out cold (pun not intended).




The kid ran up to his Pikachu, and in an overly emotional display, cried over its injury. Jeez, I mean, get a room, will you? He gave it back to his friends to take care of while the match continued. He next sent out a weird blue beetle. It had two large antennae, a shell of some kind, and in particular, a large horn that looks like it could cut solid steel. Otherwise known as Heracross.






Coupled with the damage from the sparring with Pikachu, things weren't looking so good for me. I don't think I could use the move I innovated for Lairon, either. What's that? It's quite simple, really. It hangs onto the stunned target's back with its legs wrapped around its head. It then slams its head into the opponent's spine with an Iron Head. It uses the leverage from that blow to flip itself up and smash down down on its head with Iron Tail, which slams the opponent's face into the ground. With a possible Body Slam to the head, too.

That's why I decided to use an alternative method. The idea is this - my Pokemon goes on the defense. As it does so, it runs by me. Most of the time, the other Pokemon won't risk attacking a trainer by mistake, although a Pidgeotto crashed into me once. Didn't hurt too much, though. But more importantly, as it passes by, I pull a Potion ever so slightly out of my pocket, spray, and slide it back.

I was used to maneuvers like this every now and then. However, this time, the referee saw me as I was taking it out, and stopped the match. He walked over to me and yelled, "What the hell are you doing?!"

I froze. I'd never been caught doing this before. Luckily, I had a backup plan made in advance, just in case. I quickly explained, "I grabbed the wrong thing by mistake. I was reaching for my good luck charm." I revealed my contingency plan - a small necklace with a horseshoe on it. I slipped it on, and as I did so, made a motion to Lairon. To think - a practical use for sign language rather than talking to deaf people! No one seemed to notice, and if they did, they didn't know what I said. But I'll tell you: I told it to use Iron Defense, then Rest. The referee just stared at me for a little while, then nodded.

That was close. Of course, the thing about it being a good luck charm? Complete bullshit. But they didn't know that...

But anyway, the match was back on. The kid ordered his Heracross to move in to attack again. It flew up and attempted another Brick Break. Thanks to my non-verbal command while the cheating incident was happening, though, it didn't do as much damage, and only served to wake up Lairon from its quick nap, now fully refreshed.

Just as planned.

"Feint it out!" God, I hate that whiny voice of his. But what I hate more is that his Pokemon just so happened to have that move, which completely foiled my defensive/opportunism strategy. Heracross moved in, but suddenly moved back out. Lairon was a little startled by this, but what happened next startled it even more.

"Heracross, [b]CLOSE COMBAT![/B]" the kid ordered.

Lairon worriedly looked back at me at this. But I reassured it. "Don't worry Lairon, just stand your ground!" It nodded, and turned to face Heracross, which was closing the distance quickly.

The resulting blows were brutal ones. Heracross just went to work on Lairon, pummeling it like no tommorow. Even with Iron Defense, they still seemed to be hurting Lairon. The kid smiled at this, and so did I, causing his smile to fade. He could sense something was wrong. "Heracross, look ou-"

"Now!"

On my command, Lairon lunged forward and nailed the Heracross with Iron Head straight to where its solar plexus would be if it was human. This stunned it, long enough for Lairon to leap back and...

"Lairon, [b]METAL BURST![/B]"

The timing couldn't have been sweeter. Lairon charged a ball of energy in its mouth and launched it forward at the still reeling Heracross. This shot sent it sailing back through the air, meeting hard ground when it hit.

"Heracross is unable to battle!"

The sweet sound of success. All that was left was the kid's last Pokemon. And if he's anything like other trainers, he's saving his best for last. But I didn't exactly get what I was expecting...

"I choose you, Charizard!"

At that moment, I knew I was screwed. I don't have to tell you what one looks like, do I? Yeah, a big, fiery dragon of fucking DEATH. But I decided if I was going down, it would be in a blaze of glory. Pun not intended.






"Charizard, Seismic Toss!"

Oh, hell. Forget the fact that it's lifting 400 pounds of solid steel for a moment. It somehow is able to do it and it will hurt like a bitch.

But suddenly, out of nowhere, a smoke bomb dropped down onto the field. I heard a woman's laugh from above, and looked up to see a giant balloon in the shape of a Meowth. Two people and a Meowth looked down on the field from their vantage point in the basket. And then, they started...

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

I had no idea who these people were, or why they were reciting poetry, although the blue-haired one looked familiar. Regardless, the distraction they were creating created an all-too-perfect opportunity for me. Ignoring their words, I quickly gave the gesture to Lairon to use Double-Edge. It nodded and rushed forward at the Charizard (which was also distracted by the three freaks in the balloon). The big lizard didn't know what hit it, and ended up staggering around in a complete daze from the impact. Not for long though, as I gave the command: "Now hit it!". Lairon obliged, and rushed for Charizard's back. It shakily tried to grab Lairon while it was doing this, but Lairon dove under its legs, climbed up on its back, jumped up, and nailed a slightly modified version of my innovated maneuver (with Rock Head in the place of Iron Head).

Everyone turned to look at the two Pokemon at that moment. The judge stared at this for a moment in awe, and reluctantly raised his arm to wave the flag. "Charizard...is unable to battle. The winner is..."

The announcement resulted in a chorus of boos. But I didn't care. I just ran around in joy.