(( I have forgotten how to smile, how to care, how to love... I feel useless... I feel desperate to escape from this suffering... Suicide sounds perfect, but... I'm too coward to do it.

Mum... Why did you leave me so fast... I miss you... I need you here with me. ))

Tears fell from my eyes onto my diary. The sound of my pencil landing on the wooden floor fills the silent room. I clenched my jaw trying to hold in my tears and squeezed my eyes shut. I lay on my side and bring my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around my knees and let my feelings take over me.

I hear the front door being opened and slammed shut. (Dad). I gulp and cover myself with my bed sheet, I turn around and pretend to be asleep as I wait for my father to burst into my room and drain his anger and frustration on me.

''Wake up! I know you're not asleep, asshole.'' I turned around slowly and opened my eyes to find my father standing under the door frame, his face bruised and bleeding. It was kind of shocking, but I didn't care, he deserved it anyways. ''Come here, now!'' I was so used to this that I didn't react anymore. (Here comes more bruises to my collection...) I stood up and walked towards him, preparing myself for what would come next.

He slapped me hard enough to make me fall on the ground. I was in pain, but I didn't show it, I didn't want to give him the pleasure to see me suffer. He grabbed me from the neckline of my shirt and pulled me up into the air, making me hover over the ground. He pulled my face closer to his. ''Do you like the pain, bitch?'' I wrinkled my nose when his breath reached my nose. (He has been drinking. Ha... Typical him.) I smiled just to irritate him, and it worked, considering he slapped me again and let go of my shirt, letting me fall on the ground. He laughed and walked out of my room, slamming the door shut.

I sighed and crawled in pain to my bed. I covered myself with the bed sheets and closed my eyes, falling asleep afterwards.

The next morning was quite different. The silent woke me up, usually my father would yell until I wake up, but this time, everything was calm. I sat up but quickly fell back down on my bed, groaning in pain, which made me remember what had happened last night. I carefully shuffled out of my bed and walked to my bathroom to take a quick shower.

After my shower, I  dressed in the same clothes from yesterday, which consisted of some boxers, blue shorts, a white shirt, a pink sweater, short socks and blue Vans. I walked over to my mirror which was next to my bathroom door to look at myself. I noticed some bruises on my legs. I lifted my sweater a bit and saw a bunch of bruises on my stomach. (God, I'm so skinny and white...) I lowered my sweater and looked at my face. I've got to admit that I like my face... Small lips; a small nose with a platinum ring; dark green eyes with bags under it that showed my lack of sleep; slightly long eye lashes; thin eye brows; my ears had small expansions and my white hair was thrown to my right.

I don't hate how I look, I just don't feel confident enough with all the bruises that my father has done and the cuts that (I) have made on my wrists, which is the reason that I use jumpers all the time. I'm constantly bullied at school, and at home by my own father, both psychologically and physically, I'm surprised I haven't died yet.

I walked away from my mirror and took my school bag, throwing it on my back. I stepped out of my bedroom and walked to the small kitchen. (He's not here, huh... Oh well.)

I stepped out of the kitchen and grabbed my keys which were on a small table next to the front door, I walked out of my house and headed to school.

.

I've been walking for a long time after I left my house. I take the bus most of the time, but I also walk sometimes. My neighborhood is very calm, since there isn't many houses around here. I live 10 blocks away from my school, which isn't very far for me, considering I walk fast. It takes me 10 minutes to get to school when I walk, whereas it takes me almost 30 minutes when I take the bus.

When I got to school, I saw Kevin— the school bully — standing near the front door. I think he saw me, because he quickly stood in front of the door, preventing me to walk through it. I stood in front of him and sighed.

'Hey Kevin.'' I smiled sarcastically. Did I mention that I was taller than him?

''Hey, fag.''

''Could you please get your filthy presence off my way?'' I looked at him straight-faced.

''What did you say, faggot?'' He brought his face closer to mine, his revolting breath filling up my nose, nauseating me.

''I said, get your filthy presence out of my way.'' I could feel his anger build up after I said that, which made me smirk, knowing what would happen after.

He pushed me against the wall hard enough to take my breath away and punched me in my stomach several times, making me cough uncontrollably. But I never expressed my pain, even though I felt it. I fell sitting on the ground, with my right arm wrapped around my stomach. I looked up at Kevin and saw him smirking, I smirked at him and saw his expression change to an angry one.

He was about to kick me again but got interrupted. ''Leave him alone, bastard!'' I heard a masculine voice yell. I turned my head and saw a tall, slim boy walking up to us.

''Or what, idiot?'' Kevin replied, trying to sound threatening.

''Or I'll have to beat you up. Just like you did to him.'' What he said made Kevin laugh. I sighed and hissed when I tried moving.

When the guy stood in front of Kevin, you could see he was way taller. Kevin only reached to the guy's shoulder, so he was as tall as I was. I looked at him, he had semi-long brown hair that covered his forehead, blue eyes and a cute face. He looked back at me, I blushed and looked away. I was kind of embarrassed that someone had to stand up for me.

''Shoo.'' Said the guy to Kevin.

Kevin stared at him, then looked at me and said. ''This isn't going to stay like this,asshole.''

I rolled my eyes. ''Whatever.'' He walked away, leaving me alone with the guy in front of the entrance. ''Had fun?'' I asked with a derisive tone, but not showing any emotions.

''You just got punched numerous times... Yet, you talk to me like nothing happened.'' He held out his hand for me.

''Eh, I'm used to it. It's more like a daily routine I have to complete, even if I don't like it.'' I took his hand and he helped me stand up. I winced as he wrapped his arm around my bruised abdomen. He was less than an inch taller than me.

He helped me walk inside and to the infirmary. The nurse had just finished attending a 2nd grader when I walked it. She looked at me surprised, but quickly helped me sit down on the trolley bed. ''What happened, Jas?'' She asked preoccupied. She was the only person apart of our music teacher that treated me well, she cared for me a lot.

''I don't need to explain, Mary. You already know what's the only reason that always brings me here.'' Mary was the nurse. She was 27, the youngest nurse the school has had. She was really pretty, I've got to admit that. She had a sweet, caring, motherly personality. She would treat me like her son, sometimes.

She sighed and turned around to the guy who brought me here. ''And you are?''

''I'm Skye. I kind of saved him when the other guy was beating him up.'' He had a beautiful British accent when he talked.

I couldn't stop looking at him, but I blushed and looked away when he looked at me.

''So... Jasper? That's your name, right?'' I looked back at him and nodded. ''Okay then, Jasper... I'll see you later. If you need anything, just look for me. I'll be either in Music class or Chemistry, okay? And... Get better soon.'' I nodded and he smiled at me. (Oh my god.) I wanted to smile back at him but I didn't. He walked away, fixing his blue hoodie and sticking his hands in his white skinny jeans' pockets.

After having Hydrogen Peroxide and band aids applied to my wounds, Mary finally let me go. When I left, it was lunch break, my favourite subject. (Ha.) I was having a difficult time walking through the horde of students, trying not to step on people and dealing with the pain in my stomach

I wasn't thinking of anything else except for food, food and food. When I walked in the cafeteria, I was amazed how nearly empty it was. The cafeteria is usually crowded with hungry students... But not today. I was about to go buy my food, when I felt a gentle grip on my arm.

''Jas!'' I immediately recognized his voice. I bit my lip to restrain myself from smiling. (Why am I feeling like this all the time I'm around him? I just met him...) I turned around to find Skye and two of his friends behind him.

''Hey...'' I stared at his hand which was still holding my arm. He noticed my discomfort and quickly loosened his grip.

''Sorry about that...'' He rubbed his neck. ''Anyways! This is Kyle.'' He pointed to the brown haired boy with blue eyes, he was shorter than Skye. I raised my hand and lowered it back. ''And this is Jessica.'' He pointed to the short, shy, blonde haired girl, who also had blue eyes, but less dark than Kyle's. I greeted her like I did to Kyle. ''Jessica, Kyle, this is Jasper.''

''Nice to meet you!'' Said Kyle, enthusiastically. I nodded once in response to him.

''Jas, would you like to come to my house tomorrow? Jessica and Kyle will be there. We can order pizza and watch movies.'' Skye grinned agog, waiting for my answer.

''U-Uhh, okay...'' I replied. (A little break from hell would be nice... And with hell, I mean my home.)

''Awesome! Let's meet up in the parking lot after school, tomorrow, okay?'' Jessica, Kyle and I nodded at the same time. The bell rang, indicating that lunch break was over, I sighed and walked out of the cafeteria to my next period.

I didn't sleep that night at all.