I've been lying lately. Lying to myself. I keep saying I'll do things that I want to do, but not following through. I'm going to run PAL Luigi's Mansion, or Undertale, or Pokemon Red, I'm going to get a Nintendo Switch, I'm going to go to SGDQ, I'm going to be nicer to people. What it really comes down to is that I think I've been so focused on self improvement that I've lost track of what I'm doing some of these things for. SGDQ became about running the game, not about hanging out with friends. And when I take a step back, I don't think it's worth spending all of my money to hang out with a bunch of fake friends. I can't think of many people who I want to go for anymore. There are of course some people who I still love and wish I could hang out with, but lately the internet has been less and less a place I come to feel connected with friends. It seems like a lot of people are turning their backs on me. And surely this is partially to do with how I am as a person, I know I'm hard to put up with. But I've laid my soul bare lately, and people don't like what they see so they change their minds. It's the little things though, because people can't admit to themselves that they do it. It's the "I love you"s that aren't reciprocated, it's the twitter unfollows with no explanation, it's the shittalking that they think doesn't get back to me. Nobody will just say to my face that they don't like me anymore. I would rather be told on a daily basis that people hated me, than have people groan when I enter a chat, then type "Hey man welcome!". So fuck it. I unfollowed a lot of people on Twitter. I removed most of my mods. I'm going to run what I want to run, which at the moment is NTSC LM. I'm going to reconsider going to SGDQ, because I really don't know if I want to anymore. And I'm going to ask you to just fuck off out of my life if you don't like me.

I'm just going to put a little extra part at the end here, this only relates to a few people. In terms of LM drama, I'm out. I'm done with it, I don't care. I quit the mod team for a reason, I'm not going to read the forums, I don't want to hear about your shit. Hate me, that's fine, but just keep in mind that I'm just a human going about his business. I'm not sorry for the way I handled situations previously, but things are changing. Don't try to drag me into it. I'm not interested. You can all do whatever you want, I'm not part of your group. This also doesn't have anything to do with why I wrote the first part of the pastebin, but I needed to address it for the immature and self important who would no doubt think this whole thing is about Veman's situation.