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"How do I write?" Post

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Dec 13th, 2013
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  1. >Day Bullshit in Equestria
  2. >Meet a pony.
  3. >He's a blank flank.
  4. >He's all flankflustered cuz he can't into good story.
  5. >"Aw man how do I write?"
  6. >You put on a small smile and walk over to him.
  7. "Hey, you need writing advice?"
  8. >"I'd love some, yeah!"
  9. >You kneel down to look at his work space. Just a small desk with parchment, ink and quill. The pony droops over it, staring depressingly at the blank page.
  10. "Well, I've always lived by one set of rules."
  11. >"What's that?"
  12. "When something gets hard to do..."
  13. >You lean over to the foal's ear
  14. >And shout.
  15. "You PUT YOUR DICK IN IT."
  16. >Expertly having hidden your unbuttoning pants, you thrust directly into the foal's arse.
  17. "UNF. UNF. YEAH. AW YEAH GURL."
  18. >"EEEOH GOD! I'm a boy!"
  19. "YEAH GURL."
  20. >The foal screams in pain, unable to escape your massive man claws as you thrust.
  21. "PICK UP THAT QUILL AND START WRITING."
  22. >"Eeeeuuh what do I write?!"
  23. "ANYTHING THAT COMES TO MIND. DO IT FAGGOT."
  24. >"Ok, OK! Just please go slower!"
  25. "NO BRAKES."
  26. >The foal starts writing madly, covering line after line in shaky ink lettering.
  27. "PUT SOME EMOTION INTO IT. YOUR CHARACTERS ARE TOO STOIC."
  28. >"What emotion do I use?!"
  29. "ALL OF IIIIIT."
  30. >Your thrusting intensifies, the foal being dragged from the desk with each push and pull.
  31. >"Ok, the first chapter is nearly done!"
  32. "WRAP THAT BITCH UP."
  33. >"I made a novel reference!"
  34. "LOOKS GOOD."
  35. >As he finishes, so do you, spending yourself in a ridiculous Japanese-styled explosion, but none landing on the page. Wiping off the foal, you look at his backside and see something on each flank.
  36. >A book and quill.
  37. "Looks like someone got their cutie mark. What's your name, kid?"
  38. >The foal is dazed, passing out on the desk, but manages a reply.
  39. >"Tra...True Story."
  40. >You stand, slapping his behind as you leave.
  41. "That's a cool story, True Story."
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