Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- >You are Funkanonymous.
- >Back on Earth you had made it your mission to share the fresh cosmic groove that was funk.
- >You and your band had started a truly righteous funk revival.
- >Then came the night that changed everything.
- >You had given the greatest concert in the history of the world.
- >Truly, the mighty forces of rhythm and rhyme had chosen you as their vessel.
- >But that sublime show had come at a cost.
- >You grooved too hard.
- >The wheels in the sky had turned that night...
- >And the next thing you knew you were surfing the star-stream.
- >When you woke up you found yourself in a strange land full of candy coated ponies.
- >And dig it: they could talk.
- >You've always been pretty chill, so you took the situation in stride.
- >You had scoped the scene and figured out how to support yourself.
- >But as you soon found out, there was one crucial thing missing from this sweet world.
- >These ponies didn't know how to groove.
- >They didn't know how to jive.
- >It was up to you to bring them to the gospel of funk.
- >Getting a new band together wasn't really that hard.
- >You had worked your way into the jazz scene in the capital, Canterlot.
- >There were some pretty hep cats making great music there.
- >Once you showed them the basics of Rhythm and Blues you had gotten yourself quite a few musicians that wanted to collaborate.
- >Now the time had come to once again start spreading the funk
- *****
- >Things weren't going very well.
- >Your first tour had hit all the major cities between Canterlot and Manehatten.
- >The critics had savaged your performances and your sponsor had pulled a lot of advertising as a result.
- >The crowds had been getting smaller and smaller.
- >Only two things kept you going: your supreme faith in funk, and the small groups of die-hard colts and fillies that latched on to your music like it was life itself.
- >Now you had come to the last stop on your tour.
- >A little town off the beaten track called Hollow Shades.
- >You were determined to make this show work no matter what.
- >Spending some of your own money, you printed a stack of posters promising "THE SHOW TO END ALL SHOWS".
- >Then you and your crew had spent all day handing them out to anyone who would take them.
- >The thing about these ponies is that they were were some seriously freaky cats.
- >They looked like Dracula had given them a makeover.
- >You just hoped that they'd be a little more receptive to your art.
- >As night began to fall you had one more trick up your sleeve.
- >You and your band gathered at the far end of the village.
- >Getting into a New Orleans style parade formation you nodded to your bassist and drummers.
- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJDPz4guxOQ
- >After they started a righteous rhythm and bass line you all started marching.
- >As you jumped and jived your way through the main street you began to get followers.
- >Curious ponies who couldn't help but be drawn to your righteous sound.
- >When you finally entered the fair grounds you must've had the whole village on your heels.
- >Your group stomped onto the stage and moved to their positions.
- >When your marching anthem ended you didn't even stop.
- >The band just went into a 4 bar vamp and you grabbed the mic.
- "Are you cats ready to GROOVE?"
- >Everyone cheered.
- >"Yeah!"
- >Not loud enough.
- "I said are you cats ready to FUNK. IT. UP?!"
- >This time the audience was deafening.
- >"YEAHHH!!!"
- "Ahhhh, yeah. Ladies and gentleponies, the Canterlot Funk Association is here to take you on a journey.
- I am Funkanonymous and I will be your guide though time and space.
- And our destination is a place... called... Funk!"
- >As you went into your next song you could feel that this show was going to be different.
- >The air was electric.
- >These little bat ponies were bouncing and swaying to every beat.
- >They were grooving to every sound.
- >It's like they had the rhythm in their veins.
- >As you went though your set the night just kept building and building.
- >You couldn't help but feel like you were some kind of prophet leading these crazy ponies to a promised land of universal vibes.
- >It wasn't just you.
- >Every member of your band was a slave to the groove.
- >By the end of it you didn't even know what words were coming out of your mouth.
- >And- and were your band member's instruments glowing?
- >All around you bat ponies were flying up in the air.
- >They were glowing too somehow.
- >The whole place was alive with cosmic energy.
- >You finally reached your last song and as it hit its peak the funk could no longer be contained.
- >All the energy in the place spiraled up into the sky.
- >It was like the Milky Way had come down to rest on your show.
- >You felt the cosmic force start to lift you into the sky.
- >The chariot of groove was carrying you away.
- >All the bat ponies cheered.
- >Your band mates looked a little confused but they were pros and kept on playing.
- >As you ascended to the sky you gave the crowd one last charge.
- "Remember the funk that you have heard here tonight.
- Groove it on out and it'll be alright.
- If you let it die, well that would be most tragic.
- Remember little ponies, the Funk Is MAGIC!"
- >Then the star-stream swallowed you up and once again you were a traveler on the cosmic highways.
- >You were sad to leave, but you knew those hep little bats would keep on spreading the groove.
- >Your work there was done.
- >Now it was time to take the funk elsewhere.
- >Funky fly end.
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement