Venting.

I've just been really stressed and I've been making a lot of stupid fucking mistakes and I really just want to go away but stay and I'm fighting myself and I just fucking don't know. Everything's been a big dumb mistake for me. I feel like I can't do anything right, like I can't fucking think straight. And lately I nearly cried because I had to do something that I didn't want to do. One time I did cry. Fucking great, y'know? And I feel like I'm doing everything wrong because people are just doing things like, "Okay, I'm just gonna not do that with you, Sara. Hey, some other person let's talk about the same thing Sara wanted to talk about!" And it just fucking bothers me on making these stupid shit mistakes and making problems and starting shit and saying the wrong fucking things at the wrong fucking moment. Look, I'm probably going to show this to Sean and I'm predicting something like, "Oh it's okay Sara everything is just dandy you don't have to worry I love you, blah blah blah!"  and it's probably just gonna make me feel fucking worse because that raises the expectations for my actions and I just wish I was just fucking perfect for all of you so I don't have to work as hard as I do to make you guys laugh and be happy. Where the fuck am I going with this stupid as fuck vent? I really am a fucking idiot. I hate myself, and yes, Sean I am really edgy at the moment. I'm sorry. I really am, really sorry. I


I don't know.