Farts on the PA

Salmander	Farting noises sound over the PA
	Feierbird	Halim texts Tiana. {I have the ring. Where should I give it to you?}
	Salmander	<PPPPFFFRRRTTTT>
	Salmander	<PPPRRRRFFFFFTTTTRRRFFF>
	Pemander	A.J. stops and looks up.
	Salmander	<PPPRRRFT>
	Salmander	<PRRFT>
	Pemander	"What the devil..."
	Salmander	<POOT>
	Feierbird	The monkey shakes its head at Terrance. It shows its ID Badge, which ranks it as just an engineer monkey.
	Feierbird	Halim blinks at the speakers.
	Mr_Wilt	Another voice comes over the PA.
	Mr_Wilt	<SALMAN GET AWAY FROM THE PA SYSTEM.>
	Feierbird	Halim giggles just a bit.
	Dawny	{My room please} Tiana heads there.
	Salmander	<THAT WASN'T ME IT WAS REGGIE>
	padri	Ren covers her ears with her hands.
	Salmander	<I MEAN, UH...>
	Feierbird	Halim heads down towards Tiana's room.
	Pemander	A.J. flatfaces.
	Salmander	And then, in a deeper voice: <I'M REGGIE>
	Pemander	"Is this a joke?"
	Feierbird	Halim is just snickering at this.
	Pemander	He turns to Stoat. "This is a joke, right?"
	Feierbird	He arrives at Tiana's room!
	Uncandescent	Terrance makes his best effort to ignore it.
	Pyrok	"Welcome to 354, AJ."
	Mr_Wilt	<IF YOU DON'T GET OFF THE PA SYSTEM IN FIVE SECONDS I'M GOING TO COME INTO YOUR OFFICE AND BEAT YOU.>
	Dawny	Tiana is looking at her trashed room. She sits in the middle of the floor and starts to cry.
	ShadesO`Gray	Don sighs, shaking his head as he closes the door to his room, {I promise to tell you what you need to hear... and to let you know if that is a lie or not... right now that's the best I can do.}
	Salmander	<WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LIKE THIS JIM? I THOUGHT WE WERE PALS! YOU'VE CHANGED!>
	Feierbird	Halim walks in awkwardly. "I, uh... got the ring."
	Pemander	A.J.'s face goes ghostly white. "Wait a minute, is that...Director Corbette?"
	Mr_Wilt	<FIVE.>
	Salmander	<PRRRFFFT>
	Feierbird	Halim would be more concerned right now but the PA is pretty funny.
	Dawny	Tiana sniffles and wipes her eyes. "Merci"
	Mr_Wilt	<FOUR.>
	Salmander	<PPPRRRFFFFT>
	padri	Ren sits up. "I'd like to give Corbette a piece of my mind." She sniffles as she says it.
	Mr_Wilt	<JESUS FUCK WHAT DID YOU EAT?>
	ShadesO`Gray	Don moves back to bed, "Tiana is staying... and I'm going to talk to someone tomorrow to see what exactly we can tell her from the week she forgot..."
	Pemander	"The person...in charge of the site...is...is a..."
	Salmander	<IT'S A WHOOPIE CUSHION DUMBASS>
	Pyrok	"He doesn't so much /direct/ as he does... I have no idea really."
	Pemander	"I am going to die, aren't I
	Mr_Wilt	<YOUR MUM IS A WHOOPIE CUSHION.>
	Feierbird	Halim hands it to her. "So what's g-" Halim is interrupted by farting.
	Salmander	<ALTHOUGH, SERIOUSLY, THOSE BURRITOES IN THE CAFE- HEY, WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER?>
	Mr_Wilt	<I SAID SHE'S A DEFLATED OLD PINK WHOOPIE CUSHION, SALMAN.>
	Pemander	A.J. groans. "Now I know why Director Olin transferred me here..."
	Dawny	Tiana snuffles again and sad!glomps Halim. "P-please...stay...."
	padri	She doesn't acknowledge Don's words, cause she doesn't think she can without crying.
	Pemander	"He wants me dead!"
	Salmander	<JIM YOU AND I BOTH KNOW MY MOTHER IS A SAINT!>
	Feierbird	Halim stays. "Okay."
	Uncandescent	"Do you know any alternate routes into Records?"
	Mr_Wilt	<SAINT WHOOPIE CUSHION.>
	Pyrok	"Don't worry, we only lost /non-essential/ personnel last night, and that was a site-wide event."
	Feierbird	He hugs Tiana. "Is there any way to turn off the PA?"
	Salmander	<YOU'RE GONNA NEED A CUSHION WHEN I GET OVER THERE!>
	Tox|Laptop	<Shut up, both of you. I know where you sleep and how to kill you with medication.>
	Salmander	~Hey everybody, penis penis penis>
	Salmander	*~
	padri	"Is that. . . Brain?"
	Mr_Wilt	<THAT'S IT.> The sound of a microphone hitting the floor fills the PA system.
	Feierbird	~Not now, Brain.~
	ShadesO`Gray	"God I hope not..."
	Dawny	Tiana shrugs, nuzzling into him. "Will you stay tonight?"
	padri	~Brain, what do you want?~
	Feierbird	"Okay." Halim nuzzles back.
	Salmander	The PA is silent for a moment, then the sound of two men slapping each other and whining can be ehard.
	Pemander	"Oh Lord, I just heard a voice in my head."
	Pemander	A.J. begins shifting back and forth and pulling on his hair.
	Tox|Laptop	<Fucking idiots.>
	Feierbird	"..."
	Mr_Wilt	<OW! Ow! Fuck! That was really hard!>
	Salmander	And then moans of pleasure
	Pyrok	Tobias sighs and leans back in his seat. "Hey Stoat, who would I talk to If I wanted the security footage of this?"
	Mr_Wilt	No. No moans of pleasure.
	Feierbird	"Okay, what."
	Soulless	"...Security offices."
	Feierbird	Redact the "okay, what".