Asriel x Anon SFW

*Editor's note: (you) are Anon. Self-insert your pronouns you special snowflake, you.


The ambient noise of the room was only periodically interrupted by short, loud clicks as anon navigated between several browser tabs on their computer. It was a slow day, and they had gotten off early. Although the head-start to the weekend was welcomed by anon, they thought it was a shame that they lacked anything sufficiently exciting or fulfilling to take advantage of it with. Asriel was still at work, and he usually had plans made well in advance. Despite being in a relationship, anon and Asriel didn't spend much time together, due to both work and differences in personality types. If Asriel was going anywhere, he wasn't going to go do something by himself. Whether it was a meet-up with friends or just casual social interaction with strangers both monster and human, Asriel was certain to have at least a dozen people within spitting distance of him the whole night. Anon, on the other hand, was rather reclusive. They only left home for groceries, work, and visits with close friends, of which they had very few. They weren't the worst introvert, and they'd made several attempts before to force themselves out of their element with Asriel or other friends before, but most times it was more of a drain than anything. Fortunately for anon, Asriel found their shy and cautious attitude endearing and adorable, and made sure to leave in some time for something they could do together.

This week it was supposed to be anon's turn to pick what they did. They'd been searching the internet for reviews on the latest batch of blockbusters, hoping maybe there was something good that would catch their eyes, but cinema was in a bit of a lull right now, so that plan was quickly falling though. Sighing, anon closed yet another movie review article and launched a game.

Anon settled into a comfortable trance, playing their game without having to think much while their favorite tunes played from their headphones. Time flew by in an instant, and anon's trance was finally broken by the sound of a loud bang as the hard wood front door slammed shut.

Anon took off their headphones, craning their neck towards the door.

"Howdy, anon! Looks like you beat me home!" Asriel tossed his jacket at the coat rack in the corner of the room, missing it again and causing the jacket to join an ever-growing pile of seasonal wear that had failed to reach its mark.

"Oh yeah, I got off early. Lucky me." Anon smiled at Asriel, getting out of their chair and pulling Asriel into a hug. Despite Asriel having finally matured into a young adult, with horns and facial hair (A goat-tee, one could say) to match, anon still had at least half a head on him. The reason might've been due to a few centuries of stunted growth, but Asriel hadn't shared that part of his life with anon yet, nor had he really felt the need to. That was by far his darkest secret, and only two people knew about it.

After a few seconds of warm embrace, Asriel pulled away, but kept his arms on anon's shoulders.

"Sooo, I know it's your weekend, buuuuuut..." Asriel began with a sing-song voice, smiling at anon.

He was doing it again.

anon had lost track of the amount of times Asriel had coerced him into doing something that he wanted to do. Fortunately for Asriel, anon was very passive and rarely had something in mind that they were passionate about doing. That and anon still couldn't resist Asriel's charm. Maybe it was magic or maybe Asriel is just that handsome, but he knows how to lay on the charm.

anon rolled their eyes in fake annoyance. All things considered, this was working out very well for the both of them so far. "But?" anon repeated.

"But some friends are in town and they'd love to meet you over dinner!"

anon failed to suppress a sigh.

"Aw, come on, anon! These are old friends, from home! I never get to see them anymore these days, and they're really friendly and easy to get along with, I swear!" Asriel's eyes pleaded with anon's stare. Anon felt the warmth of their reddening cheeks radiate from them as their mouth twisted into a half-smile.

"Alright, I'll do it."

God damn it.

"You're the best, anon!" Asriel pulled anon into another hug, giving a quick, hard squeeze before pulling away and sprinting off to his room.

"Whoa, what's the rush?" Anon stood in the middle of the room, staring at the half-closed door to Asriel's room. They could already hear the sound of water running and clothes being ruffled with from the closet.

"Oh, I forgot to mention we're meeting them in an hour. Sorry! It was kinda last minute!"

God. Damn. It.

---

Anon stared out the window of the passenger side of the car as they neared the restaurant. Asriel had offered to take them both in his car, actually feeling bad for springing the dinner date on anon at the last minute, and besides, anon had never heard of the restaurant they were going to, so they didn't have any idea how to get there anyway. The streets were familiar enough for a while, but Asriel quickly drove into unfamiliar territory. Apparently the restaurant they were going to was on the Monster side of town. The monsters weren't intentionally segregated from humans, but much like other minority communities in urban centers, this city quickly developed its own Monster Town near the outskirts of the city center. This city's Monster Town was particularly large, since apparently Mt. Ebott was only about an hour's drive away. Anon had never visited the mountain, nor did they see a reason to. It was more-or-less a tourist trap now, with the proceeds going towards improving the site and creating homes and habitats for monsters who weren't well suited towards living with humans. An honorable goal, sure, but going to Mt. Ebott meant hiking, which meant driving for an hour one way, which meant leaving the house. No thanks. That would have to wait until Asriel convinced him to go, but anon couldn't help but notice that Asriel seemed to not have any desire at all to visit Mt. Ebott. Maybe he's sick of his old home, anon figured.

Anon's musings were cut short as the car pulled into the parking lot. They had arrived. Anon looked at the sign above the door, a cool mixture of neon lights in the shape of an open flame on a grill. In the middle of the flame was "Grillby'z" in cursive. Aptly named.

"Alright, we're here! They should already have a table waiting for us!" Asriel got out of the car, running a hand over his hair and making sure his button-down shirt was tucked into his khakis cleanly. Anon wasn't much for dressing up, and opted for a simple hoodie and a nicer-looking pair of baggy jeans. Asriel was prone to overdressing, so they didn't feel out of place. Based on how the restaurant looked, anon figured they had made the right choice anyway.

Following Asriel inside, anon's eyes slowly adjusted to the dim lighting of the restaurant. An array of neon signs, all referencing grills and hot food, lined the walls and dim light bulbs hung from ceiling fans. The air felt unusually warm, but anon didn't think much of it. They were too busy scanning the dining room for their table.

"There they are!" Asriel pointed at a corner booth, silhouettes poking out from the back. It was hard to make out how many there were, but it looked like there were only two there.

A double date, maybe? Eh. Anon shrugged. They could handle two more people.

Asriel made his way towards the table, and anon followed closely behind. The place was empty aside from the mysterious figures in the corner booth. Anon was feeling more comfortable by the second.

As the mysterious party came into view, anon was surprised to see a vaguely-human-like skull of cartoonish proportions and an equally cartoonish fish woman staring back at them.

The skeleton stood to his full height, about as tall as anon. He wore a brightly-colored chestplate that seemed to be some sort of ancient battle armor, and a rather revealing pair of shorts that was probably closer to a speedo. The fish woman was dressed much less outlandishly, with a cool navy jacket and a black tank-top underneath. Still, her toothy smile reminded them of Jaws and with that mental image stuck in their head, they felt thoroughly intimidated.

The quirks of monster culture, they guessed.

"YOUR HIGHNESS, YOU HAVE ARRIVED!" The Skeleton bowed deeply.

"Yeah, sorry we're late, Papyrus! Got stuck in traffic!" Anon refrained from blurting out that the roads were clear. At least this proved to anon that Asriel really had planned this at the last minute.

"Your Highness?" Anon repeated, smirking slightly. Asriel had mentioned before that he was royalty, but anon figured he was trying to impress them. After all, why would the Prince of Monsters date an average human and work a 9-5 day job?

"Yeah..." Asriel rubbed the back of his neck, looking back to anon. "My father abolished the Monarchy years ago, but some people still like to refer to us by our honorary titles."

"Yeah, I still can't believe Asgore stepped down from being king just to be a gardener! That's so freakin' lame!" The fish woman huffed.

"Glad to see you too, Undyne." Asriel smirked at the fish woman.

"Oh, right! Take a seat, Your Highness. Grillby should be out soon with menus." Undyne brushed some hair back, the unnaturally red locks shining even in the dim light.

Asriel took a seat next to Papyrus, and anon slid into the spot across from him. The sound of a new, deeper voice within inches of their face startled them into blurting out a barely-suppressed squeak.

"Heya, human." Anon quickly turned their head to see a much shorter and softer-looking skeleton staring at them. His hands were in the pockets of his hoodie, and he had a large, permanent smile on his face. Oddly enough, his face didn't seem to move at all when he talked. It was actually a little disturbing, especially paired with the dim, blank white glow of his eyes.

"SANS, DON'T STARTLE THE HUMAN LIKE THAT!" Papyrus scolded from across the table. Papyrus turned to anon and his already natural smile bent into an even more enthusiastic smile, his cheek bones swirling in a fittingly cartoonish manner.

"THAT'S MY BROTHER, SANS. HE'S THE REASON WHY WE'RE EATING AT THIS GREASE PIT TONIGHT..." Papyrus spoke, his eyes briefly narrowing into a glare directed towards Sans as he finished his sentence.

"Nice to meet 'ya, human. Put 'er there." Sans extended a bony hand, which anon took. They let out another yelp as a harsh buzz rattled their hand, causing them to flinch away. Sans opened his palm to reveal a joy buzzer. Everyone except Papyrus and anon erupted into laughter, causing anon to redden in embarrassment. Despite their embarrassment, anon couldn't help but notice another unidentified voice from within the group. Craning their neck slightly, they saw a short and stumpy lizard-looking creature beside Undyne. Their eyes met, and the woman smiled awkwardly in response.

"H-hey there, human. I'm Alphys." She waved timidly. Undyne wrapped her arms around Alphys's neck and headbutted her skull in a forceful hug. "Alphys is the former Royal Scientist for Asgore himself! And..." Undyne looked into Alphys's eyes. "My date!" Undyne leaned in and pecked Alphys on the cheek, causing her yellow skin to turn a bright pink. The group laughed again in response, this time Papyrus and anon joined in.

The group engaged with small talk, mostly with Asriel, asking how he was doing now and if he had heard anything from his parents or some other human named Frisk. Anon felt a small twinge of jealousy from the frequency of this other human's name being brought up, but they suppressed it. Asriel wasn't the kind of monster to cheat on them, and from the sound of the conversation, Asriel hadn't met with this frisk character in years.

A short while later, anon noticed a new glow radiating from the other end of the room. Turning their head, they noticed a rather large fire. For a moment they were caught between freaking out and dashing for a fire exit, but in the next moment they noticed the fire was in a humanoid shape and appeared to be wearing old-timey bartender clothes, along with an old pair of reading glasses. That must be Grillby, they thought.

"Heya, Grillby." Sans waved, and the rest of the party turned to the flaming monster. Grillby briskly walked towards the group, revealing a short stack of menus. Apparently he wasn't flammable.

"I'll take the usual." Sans said, while Grillby passed out the menus. He hovered over the group wordlessly while everyone else scanned the menu. Anon couldn't help but watch the wisps of flame slowly roll along Grillby's figure, and was apparently distracted for so long that they were snapped out of their gawking by a nudge on the shoulder from Sans.

"I don't think he's on the menu." Sans said, winking at anon.

"U-uh," Anon began, burying their face into their menu. The room was too dark to make out what the menu said, or maybe it was because their head was blocking all the light. Panic began to set in. Anon could feel everyone's eyes burning into them. They had to make a decision.

"I'll uh..." Anon stuttered. "H-have what he's having?" Their eyes stared at Asriel. He returned a smile, and Grillby scribbled something down on a piece of paper.

"...Drink?" Grillby's voice was distant, almost a whisper. Much like the wisps that had captivated anon just seconds ago. "Coke?" Grillby made another short scribble before briskly turning and leaving the room through a partially obscured door behind the bar.

"Man, you sure know how to pick 'em." Sans remarked. Anon wasn't sure if that was directed at them or Asriel, since Sans seemed to be staring between the two of them. Whatever the intent, anon took it in the worst way. The small talk continued until Grillby returned with large plates of food. Apparently Asriel had ordered escargot, because two nearly identical plates of cooked snails were placed in front of them. Papyrus was given a large salad, and Undyne and Alphys were both given tofu burgers. Sans was given a small order of french fries and a bottle of ketchup. Unfortunately for anon, they weren't a fan of snails. They had forgotten that it was one of Asriel's favorite foods, and apparently he was used to having them incorporated with almost everything. Anon attempted to force themselves to eat just so they wouldn't feel hungry, but after half a snail they were finished, consuming half their coke just to wash the taste out of their mouth.

Anon's eyes again wandered as the rest of the group ate. Eventually Papyrus ended up breaking the silence, directing a question at them.

"SO, HUMAN! ARE YOU A... BOY? GIRL?" Anon couldn't help but bristle a bit at the question. It sounded like Papyrus was honestly unsure. Anon figured it was obvious enough what they were, but the doubt in Papyrus's voice stabbed right into their self-consciousness for some reason. Anon stared at Papyrus, barely able to resist putting on a look of apprehension before they suddenly felt a deep pit form in their stomach. The thoughts came flooding in, again. Thoughts about how this was yet another ruined social experience and how there was now yet another group of Asriel's friends that hated them. Anon felt sick, even though they had barely ate, and ended up excusing themselves and heading for the door. They needed some fresh air.

Standing outside in the cold, anon felt goose-bumps as the wind whipped their hoodie. They were being pathetic, they knew, but there was nothing worse than feeling out of their element to them. They wanted to go home so badly, to never meet any of these weird monsters again and pretend this night never happened.

The sound of the door chime ringing as it opened startled anon, causing them to look at the figure rapidly approaching them. It was Asriel, of course.

"Woah, anon, are you alright?" Anon couldn't help but look away. They didn't want him to see them being like this. They had already humiliated themselves enough as it was.

Asriel slipped his arms around anon's waist, causing anon's eyes to jerk back towards Asriel and his warm, patient smile. "C'mon, they're just giving you a hard time because they know we're together. I already told them to cut it out. They're just... Not used to being around humans."

Anon couldn't help but smile. Asriel's reassurance was making them come around quickly. The nausea left their stomach, and they returned Asriel's hug.

"Let's go finish dinner, yeah?" Asriel asked, pulling away from anon. Feeling like they were finally over themselevs, anon nodded and followed Asriel back inside.

"OH HUMAN, YOU'VE RETURNED! HOW WAS THE AIR?" Papyrus asked, his voice sounding too genuine to have been an insult.

"Fresh." Anon smiled, retaking their seat.

From that point on, the conversation grew to include anon more. As they got more comfortable talking around the other monsters they began to find themselves enjoying the presence of Asriel's friends. Alphys clicked with anon well, being in a similar situation, and by the end of the night anon had received at least half a dozen anime and JRPG recommendations from her. Sans shared his fries with anon, but anon ended up refusing the offer after seeing that Sans had used half the bottle of ketchup on the fries before promptly drinking the rest of the bottle himself. Undyne and Papyrus went on for at least half an hour about everything from obscure wrestling tactics to cooking different kinds of spaghetti, although anon was pretty sure they weren't thinking of the same kind of spaghetti that humans ate.

As the hour grew late, the conversations died down, and Grillby came back with the bill. Asriel offered to pay for it, but Sans insisted that they put it on his tab. Thanking Sans, Asriel and anon left the restaurant together as Undyne and Alphys stayed behind with Sans and Papyrus.

The car ride home was quiet, with anon dozing off for most of the ride. As the car pulled into the driveway, anon roused themselves and got out as Asriel put the car in Park. Unlocking the door, anon stepped inside their home and held the door open for Asriel. It was already a quarter 'til midnight and they were both exhausted.

"So, anon, did you enjoy yourself this evening?" Asriel came up behind them, putting his arms around their waist again.

"...Yeah." Anon answered reluctantly. Despite everything, things could've gone worse.

"Yeah, not all of my friends are so bad after all, right?" Asriel asked, resting his chin on anon's shoulder.

"They're different." Anon answered, leaning the side of their head against Asriel's forehead. Anon turned his body towards Asriel and gave him a peck on his fuzzy cheek, causing Asriel to blush slightly.

W-well, I'm glad you felt that way, anon." Asriel smiled, regaining his composure. "Actually, It's a good thing this worked out, because my parents are gonna be in town next weekend and-" The sound of anon's bedroom door slamming cut Asriel's conversation short.