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- "Oh hey there anon... Come over here! I want to see those big hands of yours!"
- >You smile at Lyra.
- >The mint unicorn has harassed you nearly every day since you arrived in Equestria, hounding you to show her some part or another of your body.
- >Of particular fascination were your hands.
- >You've lost many an afternoon as she forcibly caresses your digits with her hooves.
- >Today though, you have a plan.
- >Probably not a very good plan, but a plan none the less.
- >"Come on Anon, show me those big muscly hands."
- "Lyra, why would I show you my hands when I can show you...."
- >You draw out your sentence, and watch as Lyra hangs on every word.
- "My JAZZ hands."
- >Lyra gasps as you slowly pull one hand out of your pocket, the extremity moving like a charmed python.
- >Somewhere in the distance music starts up as you sway your hands in the air infront of Lyra.
- >Other ponies stop to watch as you bring your hands up, splay them out and bring them back down, shaking all the time.
- >Lyra slumps to the ground, hypnotized by your hand movements.
- >Other ponies, seeing your moves decide to join in, flawlessly following along with your dance.
- >You chalk it up to Equestian magic as you preform a particularly vigorous finger wriggle.
- >Lyra's pupils shrink to pinpricks and you can hear her labored breathing over the mysterious background music.
- >You reach towards her, your finger tips brushing the tip of her nose before pulling back.
- >The unicorn groans, and you see that she seems to be sitting in a rapidly growing puddle.
- >Using all the moves learned during your long nights of choreography lessons with Pinkie Pie you preform a fabulous flourish and finish off pointing to Celestia's sun, before moving your finger down and aiming it right at Lyra.
- >This is too much for her to take, and the mint green unicorn passes out in a puddle of mare juice.
- >It's been a few days since your impromptu dance off, and in that time you've seen not hide nor hair of Lyra.
- >Most likely she's layed up in Hospital recovering from extreme fluid loss.
- >Today you're hanging out at Sugercube Corner with Spike.
- >As usual, he's going on and on about Rarity.
- >"And then when I tried on the red bowtie she said I looked dashing."
- >The little dragon sighs wistfully and looks into the distance with stars in his eyes.
- >"Can you believe it Anon?"
- >You roll your eyes and inwardly chuckle. It's amazing that after all this time Spike's still this fond of Rarity. He's so keen on her it's a wonder how he doesn't crack a fat whenever she's around.
- "I believed it the last three times you said it mate."
- >You finish off the last remnants of your coffee and signal Pinkie for a refill.
- >You open your mouth to continue talking, before a slow building whining fills the air.
- >"What's that?"
- >You look out the window as the whine resolves itself into a dim cry of 'Annnnnooooooooooonnnn'.
- "Well this can't be good."
- >The window of Sugercube corner blows inwards with a shower of glass as a mint green blur flies through, sailing over the serving counter and into the kitchen.
- >A the sound of crashing pots and pans fills the air, along with what you assume is Mrs Cake's cries of alarm.
- "Say Spike, when you Rarity get together you'd want to be nice and experienced for her, yea?"
- >As Spike struggles to articulate an answer, Lyra leaps atop the counter on her hind legs, and points a hoof at you.
- >"ANON! YOU. ME. HANDS. NOW!"
- >Nope, you are not doing this today.
- >You reach over and grab Spike, hefting him like a javelin.
- >"Woah Anon what are you doing?!"
- "Trust me Spike, you'll thank me later."
- "Maybe."
- >You pitch the baby dragon like a football straight at Lyra.
- >The force of the blow sends them both tumbling behind the counter.
- >You take the opportunity to dive out the window and make your escape.
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