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Gayburn

Gay Bathhouse

Jan 1st, 2013
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  1. You tell me you've never heard the story of the gay bath house before?
  2.  
  3. You see, out here in the badlands there ain't much water to go around, but Celestia as our witness we all have a predilection to remain as civilized as those Canterlot folks, no matter what them hoity toightys thought of us, it was a matter of our pride.
  4.  
  5. So to solve the conundrum of bathin' there had to be a great big communal tub we'd all take turns dippin' in, and these here is none other than the famous, infamous Appleloosa bath house. Although the sorry son of a gun who thought this idea up made a horrible misunderdin', and he thought the best way to prevent any unbecomin' funny business was to keep all the boys bathin' together before supper, and for all the fillies to get to it right before bedtime.
  6.  
  7. And here I ain't sorry to say, that that feller had no idea how many of us young men he'd a disappointed if he'd spun the tale the other way. You see, something about living here off the teat of the land, tryin' hard and honest to force the earth to give up it's sustenance, that sort of breeds a different sort of colt than the ones you get to lay around in the cities never movin' around more than a stack of papers their whole lives.
  8.  
  9. Something about a long, sweaty and hard days' works with the boys makes you want to show your brother, and sometimes I do declare these brothers are flesh and blood, that these boys done took a liking and hankerin' that some neighsayers might think was a little unbecoming.
  10.  
  11. That's horsefeathers, and here in the Appleloosa bath house you can find a stallion who appreciates a strong body and a hard days work, and iffin' your lucky, you might just find out if you've got what it takes to really ride a buckin' bronco.
  12.  
  13. But now how could we be a world famous location without visitin' persons of a certain caliber and demeanor? Well hush now, 'cause if I'd told you this much without you hushin' me you don't got the slightest idea what I'm yammerin' about, right?
  14.  
  15. I'm talkin' about celebrity partrons, boner-fide, that's a joke see, bona fidelus, honest to goodness celebrities. This sorry feller named Fancy Pants? He likes to rough it from time to time, and I do mean rough. It's a little odd that a pony who's entire life is dedicated to clothes wants to see stallions without 'em so badly, but that's the sort of queer behavior that being stuck in the city breeds.
  16.  
  17. And this might be here-say, as in "you're hearin me say", but I hear after all the boys are washed up and supper's done that the world famous, Great and Powerful Trixie figuratively fiddles fillies so fast you can see the steam bubblin' up past those wooden walls like a boilin' cauldron, although I don't rightly care that much to ever take a peek
  18.  
  19. There's knotholes all over, iffin' you don't mind bumpin head with the few fellow's that seek a sapphic touch, that's your business and I won't be sayin' nothing to nopony one way or the other.
  20.  
  21. But if you wanna hear an intimate yarn, a yarn unlike the kind your Grannie was knittin' your mittens from, I suppose I might let the cat out of the bag and tell you that the most important pony I ever had the pleasure o' servin' under, second in command of non other than the finest fastest rootin' tootin'est fighting force in these blue skies, none other than the majestic and oh hay, I'm talkin' about Soarin.
  22.  
  23. Now you might think some cute pegasus boy like that would weigh less than a bone dry feather, but you'd be wrong about that. This stallion was all muscle, from the tippy tips of those long majestic wings down to those perfectly polished hooves and neatly buzzed fetlocks. And now you will have to excuse me for describin' some intimitate details, but on the account of the look in your eye somethin's tellin me you won't take offense.
  24.  
  25. Just between you and me here, 'cause nothing comes between me an' him, I stand three full inches taller than him at the withers, but strike me down if I'm lying, 'cause if you measure at the nethers I've got nothin' on him. I don't think I've ever seen a deadlier weapon hoisted around by any soldier, and I've seen a parade or two of guards standing at attention, if you're catchin' my meanin'.
  26.  
  27. And that flippy flappy son of a bitch full well knows it too. You see that smug lady slayin' grin on his face and you know he's the fastest, meanest, cockiest bastard this side of the Cimarron. Good lookin' too, if I forgot to mention. Well, short story long I decided to give him the special Appleloosa welcomin' that night.
  28.  
  29. Now he'd been puttin' on some little shows here and there, trying to melt some fillies' hearts, while the rest of us boys put a hard day's work in the fields trying to coax some life out of our fields, and after that exercise in perserverance and tenacity some of us had a mighty short temper with Mr. Loop-de-doo. So me and my men called out to him, let him know that he had a special seat as guest o' honor at the evenin' bath, and to let them poor fillies finish fixin' up the vittles in peace.
  30.  
  31. Step inside now, this part of the story ain't for the ears of any little'uns out on the street. Now my boys and I have one rule about the horseplay, and that's "No means no", so don't you be takin home any unflatterin' ideas now. We asked that cute little duck to his face, no misunderstandin' it, if he wanted the complete, and frankly unreplicable Appleloosan experiance, and his face was redder than the barn door when he nodded. He might be one of those there Wonderbolts, but let me tell you without futher ado how much he loved flying with MY team.
  32.  
  33. We toweled him off nice and sweetly, and while my men and I have chipped hooves and wirey coats from actually workin' for a livin, we showed that fellow a sweetness I'm sure he never saw comin'. We had him lounge in the nice an clean dryin' off area, and me and another of the boys worked him over.
  34.  
  35. Don't get ahead of yourself there boy, I'm talkin about preenin'. You're laughing imagining an earth pony knowing anything about that, right? Well I've entertained a few soirees with pegasui from time to time, and I know what to do back there. You should have heard his cute little noises too, he'd never known the touch of a colt could be so gentle, and I took my time gently nibbling on his wingbone and sliding my tongue along those clean feathers, setting them straight.
  36.  
  37. And now, below the decks, I knew I was doing a pretty good job setting another part of the fellow straight, too.
  38.  
  39. Well now, this is what you've been listening to me all afternoon fer, huh? I didn't want to scare the fellow off so I let him go first, here I think his jitters were wearing off, 'cause he took one look at my rump and steeled himself, and before I knew it I was flying in my very own Wonderbolts show. He wasn't half bad either, although I knew a thing or two about handling a rough ridin' bronco. He was strong, big, thick and rough, and I'm scared to admit that if I wasn't so 'experienced' myself, he probably could have killed me!
  40.  
  41. We'll I cried uncle and asked him to slow down, and he took it back down a few notches, but I swear the sumbitch actually kept his head held high the entire time he was riding me! Didn't nuzzle or nibble or anything, just proudly putting on a show. Didn't help his ego that the other boys were scared of the massive battering ram he brought to the table, and that I was the only one man enough to step up to the plate and give it a spin.
  42.  
  43. It was the fullest I've ever felt, not even my first time did I feel like I was about to bust at the seams. His strong forelegs cooly held mine down, his forelegs equally pinning my own and with such showmanship he fucked me with perfect form, bobbing those powerful hips like he was tryin' to drill me through the floorboards. Maybe I whinnied a little, but if you can suffer through that without makin' a sound I swear to Celestia right here I'll eat my hat.
  44.  
  45. Well that stallion was slamming my rump into the floor with such a perfect rhythm that some of the other boys started joshin' and clapping along with the tempo, and before you know it they were all clapping along for the show. I was blushin a little myself at this point, but Soarin was so busy plowing my fields I think he hardly noticed. I didn't even get any warning when all of a sudden he made a little peep smaller than a mouse, dropped his chest to rest on the nape of my neck and hugged the breath out of me. Sure as the sunrise, he was pumping me full of his precious, thick, hot cum into me and my greedy rump was doing it's best to milk it all out.
  46.  
  47. Now something about a good buckin' can take the vim and vigour out of anypony, and while I'm sure that Soarin' and I could have napped there, him laying prone right on top of me, still inside, until the sun rose again we had to clear out of there for our supper and to make way for the fillies to freshen up their terribly dirty female bodies. I invited the pegasus back to my own home, and I made it very clear that the spirit of the fontier was that what goes around comes around, and it would be a terribly faux pas if he didn't return the favor.
  48.  
  49. So here he was, all cummed out with a full belly of food and reclining in the same bed you're sittin in right now, asking me what we were gonna do next.
  50.  
  51. Now I don't blame the fellow for being a little nervous his first time being beneath the plow, I sure as shootin remember my own virgin jitters. But I had decided an hour prior that the fellow didn't deserve any sympathy the way he'd rode me half to death, and I'm a stallion of my word.
  52.  
  53. I whispered the soft nothing into his ears, nibbled his neck, laid my hooves to his back once more and gave him a nice little rubdown, reminded him that not one single pony was ever going to know, that what happened in the bath house and outlying territories stayed there. His cute little tailhole still smelled soapy, and while this isn't generally something I do to just anypony I gave the ol' bitter salt lick some attention.
  54.  
  55. He gasped louder when I gave it the first lap of my tongue than he would after I stuck it in proper.
  56.  
  57. Now more than once I've had an argument with a filly regarding popping a boy's cherry, and while I agree it's more of a conceptual thing there's no denying that you can tell if a colt's been broken in before, and without his assertions I could plainly tell he'd never been ridden before. I always get romantic when I get to show a pony how much fun it is being a bottom, and how hard it is to go back to topping.
  58.  
  59. Now then, it's nearly bath time. You feelin' up for the genuine, inreplicable Appleloosan experience?
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