Nigguard

THE NIGGUARD

"Yo fa sho, ho. I beez da niggest. Y'all bitchass mothafuckas betta reco'nize!"
--Tyrone Jamal-Jenkem Washington, Pimp-Daddy o' da Melon Ballas

Nigguards are the champions of the ghetto, the raptastic rapscallions, the Black Kings.  They epitomize what it means to be true to your color and to your brothas.  The higher your level in Nigguard, the more thugs, gangsters, and your fellow double-A's look up to you and follow your example. The most powerful Nigguards lead their brothas and sistas like unto lords and emperors. But they won't ever call themselves that because that's just faggy cracker shit.


MAKING A NIGGUARD

The Black Kings are mostly martial classes with a KFC bucket of sweet-and-spicy flavored tricks up their sleeves. They are best as leaders of tarbaby gangs or in groups of wandering thieves and murderers such as an adventuring party.

Hit Dice: d10

Skill Points: 4 + Int modifier; (4 + Int mod) x 4 at 1st level.

Class Skills: Bluff (Cha), Climb (Str), Hide (Dex), Intimidate (Cha), Jump (Str), Knowledge (local) (Int), Listen (Wis), Perform (dance, sing [rap only])

Abilities: A Nigguard is best served with a high Strength and Con score, both for martial prowess and to increase the DC's of several of his abilities. They don't wear heavy armor so Dexterity helps them about as much as it helps barbarians. Also, initiative is extremely important for everyone. Cha helps, too, because of a few abilities that are Cha-based. However, everyone knows most niggers aren't at all pretty or personable, you don't need to make it so high that it breaks suspension of belief. To compensate for this, Nigguards eventually get a bonus to Cha-based attacks. This also helps reduce MAD. Really, just stat them as you would a barbarian.

Races: Nigguards are niggers, dumbass. More on that in a bit.

Alignment: Niggers, like orcs, are always chaotic evil. Well, not always, but they certainly aren't ordered nor are they good. See their alignment restriction below y'all honky homo bitches.

Starting Gold: 4d4x10 (100 gp)

Starting Age: As barbarian.

Prerequisites: Must be a nigger. For the purpose of this class, a "nigger" is a humanoid or monstrous humanoid that can be reasonably considered a black person, such as humans with the right shade of shit skin and fat lips, most creatures with the goblinoid subtype, drow, deep halflings, and the like. Other creature types that are more-or-less humanoid -- or sometimes not even if their niggatrocity makes them niggas that transcend racial boundaries, like a black dragon -- can be considered a nigger as well, such as certain outsiders (fallen astral devas), dragons (half-black/brown dragons only), or chokers or puke-hued elans (aberrations). These unusual cases are subject to DM approval like everything else.

A good rule of thumb is: is it more-or-less dark or brown in color (and/or contains words like black, dark, void, and such in its name and lives or unlives up to it) and/or is it a complete dick in the same vein as a shitskin? If so, it's a nigger.

Any who would normally be considered a nigger, but he has betrayed his color and chooses whitey as his brotha, is considered an "uncle tom" and is forever disqualified from this class. Any who is an uncle tom is treated as not a nigger (or non-nigger for short) for many of a Nigguard's class features. Some of them have increased effect versus uncle toms.

Any that is considered a non-nigger but is whiter than white in deed and action (such as Klansmen, non-nigger barbarians from the frigid north, peach-skinned angels with fluffy white wings, and white dragons) are considered "aryans". Any effect that references uncle toms have a like effect on aryans.

Alignment restriction: Cannot be good, cannot be lawful (except lawful evil).


The Nigguard
Lvl: BAB* -- Fort - Ref - Will -- Class Features
1: +0 -- +2 - +2 - +0 -- Bonus Feat, Code of Conduct, Kill Whitey, Sheboon Slapper
2: +1 -- +3 - +3 - +0 -- Niggerbabble, Smite Whites 1/day, Sideways Shot, Stank Resistance
3: +1 -- +3 - +3 - +1 -- BF, Chicken Breath, Watermelon Breath
4: +2 -- +4 - +4 - +1 -- Muk Dik +1, Pin The Blame On The Honky, SW 2/day, Stench Haze
5: +2 -- +4 - +4 - +1 -- BF, KW 60', Nigra Mouthbreathing 2d6
6: +3 -- +5 - +5 - +2 -- Coon Power, Groid Anger, SW 3/day
7: +3 -- +5 - +5 - +2 -- BF, Boss Nigger, Magic Negroe
8: +4 -- +6 - +6 - +2 -- Coon Might, MD +2, SW 4/day
9: +4 -- +6 - +6 - +3 -- BF, Greater SH, KW +1d6, Nigger's Feast
10: +5 -- +7 - +7 - +3 -- KW 120', NMb 2d4, SW 5/day
11: +5 -- +7 - +7 - +3 -- BF, Coon Boon, KW +2d6
12: +6/+1 - +8 - +8 - +4 - MD +3, SW 6/day, Smoove Talk (Charm)
13: +6/+1 - +8 - +8 - +4 - BF, BoN (2nd cohort), KW +3d6
14: +7/+2 - +9 - +9 - +4 - SW 7/day, Voodoo Glare
15: +7/+2 - +9 - +9 - +5 - CnBn, BF, KW +4d6, KW 300', NMb 1d4
16: +8/+3 - +10 - +10 - +5 - MD +4, SW 8/day, ST (Dominate)
17: +8/+3 - +10 - +10 - +5 - BF, KW +5d6, Ultimate Blackface
18: +9/+4 - +11 - +11 - +6 - Wail of the Persecuted, SW 9/day
19: +9/+4 - +11 - +11 - +6 - BF, BoN (3rd cohort), KW +6d6
20: +10/+5 - +12 - +12 - +6 - MD +5, Perfect KW, NMb at-will, Perfect SW, Ultranigger
* see Coon Power and Bonus Feats

CLASS FEATURES
Below are the class features of the Nigguard. By the way, his abilities may seem way too much, but he's still an absolute wuss compared to wizards, sorcerers, clerics, and druids. Yes, the Nigguard kicks ass *for a martial character*; that's intentional. If you don't see why that's not only not a problem, but is actually good for balance, you're a n00b or a grognard who probably still thinks the Tome of Battle is overpowered. Quit actin' tha foo' an' shut yo' ign'ant mouf, boi, befo' you be dinin' on uh boolette.


Weapon and Armor Proficiency
Nigguards are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, plus the bolas, hand crossbow, and whip. Nigguards are proficient with light and medium armor, but not with shields.


Bonus Feats: At level 1 and every 2 levels after that, a Nigguard gains a bonus feat (he must meet that feat's prerequisites) over and beyond the feats he gets normally. It must be a fighter feat, combat feat, or metabreath feat (see Draconomicon and other books they've tucked metabreath feats into).

He qualifies for fighter-only feats as a fighter equal to his Nigguard level, and is treated as having a BAB equal to his Nigguard level for the purpose of qualifying for feats with a BAB prerequisite (not just these bonus feats).

If he multi-classes, his BAB is treated as equal to his Nigguard level plus the BAB of that/those class(es) for feat-qualification purposes. Dayum bitch all deez white-ass words be hurtin' mah nigga brain, yo.


Kill Whitey (Ex): Whenever a Nigguard drops or kills a non-nigger, he gains a morale bonus to attack rolls, weapon damage rolls, AC, Fortitude and Will saving throws, and Intimidate checks equal to half his Nigguard level (minimum +1), and all allied niggers within 30 feet of the Nigguard gain half these bonuses (minimum +1), which lasts for a number of minutes equal to his Nigguard level.

The Nigguard also gains a morale bonus of 5 feet to his speed (all types) per two Nigguard levels (can be zero feet; allies don't get this bonus; round down to nearest multiple of 5) so long as the Nigguard isn't wearing heavy armor or heavily encumbered, but this bonus only lasts one round per Nigguard level.

These bonuses are times 1.5, and last twice as long, if he kills an uncle tom. If it's an ally who drops or kills a non-nigger or an uncle tom in 30 feet, the bonuses (including speed increase) are halved, and only he gets them.

At level 5, it's within 60 feet. At level 10, it's within 120 feet. At level 15, it's within 300 feet.

At level 9, the first attack he makes against a given non-nigger that round deals an extra 1d6 damage (2d6 against uncle toms). If he hits multiple non-niggers in a round, each one is dealt the extra damage with his first or only attack against them. Every 2 levels after that, it deals an extra 1d6 damage (or an extra 2d6 versus uncle toms). This extra damage occurs even if a target is immune to critical hits. Double the number of dice if the Nigguard hits with a slashing and/or piercing light melee weapon.


Sheboon Slapper (Ex): Nigguards gain Improved Unarmed Combat as a bonus feat, his unarmed attacks are treated as weapons and natural weapons and are treated as two-handed weapons for the purpose of extra damage from high Strength and with Power Attack (but treated as light weapons for every other purpose), and his unarmed damage progresses like that of a monk. His monk levels and Nigguard levels stack for this purpose. Any natural attacks use the same damage dice as this progression or its own, whichever is higher (and are also treated as two-handed weapons).

If he wields a light melee weapon or a one-handed ranged weapon in one hand and nothing in the other, he can make unarmed attacks at his full BAB and bonus attack progression as if he weren't wielding a weapon; it is not treated as two-weapon fighting, and he still has the full Strength bonus.


Niggerbabble (Su): A second-level Nigguard learns to use his native speech as a breath weapon. Once every 2d8 rounds he can belt out a slew of incomprehensible (to non-niggers) jive talk and jibber-jabber: all non-niggers and enemy niggers within 30 feet of the Nigguard must make a Will save (DC is 10 plus half character level plus the Nigguard's Cha modifier) or be confused for 1d4 rounds. This is a sonic mind-affecting compulsion effect.

At Nigguard level 5 and every 5 Nigguard levels after that, add 30 feet to the range. At level 15, enemies who fail their Will save become permanently insane (as the spell Insanity).

This affects everyone except the Nigguard, other Nigguards, and allied niggers. Enemy niggers get a +2 circumstance bonus to their Will saving throw against Niggerbabble, and it lasts only half as long (minimum 1 round) and never become permanently insane.


Sideways Shot (Ex): A Nigguard of second level learns to maximize his ability at shooting all gangsta-like. When he uses a one-handed ranged weapon (but not with thrown weapons or slings), it adds 1.5 times his Dexterity modifier in bonus damage if the target is within 60 feet.

At level 5, increase this range to 120 feet. At level 10 it's 300 feet, and instead adds 2 times his Dex modifier as bonus damage instead of 1.5 times. At 15, it adds the damage regardless of distance.

If he wields a one-handed ranged weapon and nothing in his off-hand, he gains a shield bonus to AC every 3 Nigguard levels (minimum +1). Why? Fuck you, that's why.


Smite Whites (Ex): At second level, a Nigguard channels his raw hate and envy of non-niggers into a telling blow. Once per day and one more time per day every 2 Nigguard levels, a normal melee attack or ranged attack within 30 feet gains a +1 attack bonus every other Nigguard level and a +1 weapon damage bonus per Nigguard level against anyone who is not a nigger.

If he uses this against a helpless non-nigger, it's treated as a coup de grace as a standard action and does not provoke an attack of opportunity.

If used against an uncle tom, it has 1.5 times the attack and weapon damage bonuses.

You must declare you are using Smite Whites before you make the attack roll.


Stank Resistance (Ex): A level 2 Nigguard starts building up a resistance to the negative effects of bad odor and bad substances. He gains a bonus to saving throws (or AC if applicable) versus any stench-based attack (such as that of a trodlodyte or hezrou), attacks that inflict the sickened or nausea conditions (a Stinking Cloud spell), or inhaled poisons equal to his Nigguard level. They gain half this bonus against becoming addicted to drugs or avoiding the harmful side-effects of drugs (see Book of Vile Darkness), or the full bonus if it's an inhaled (smoked) drug.


Chicken Breath (Su): Once he reaches 3rd level a Nigguard can, as standard action once every 2d8 rounds, use this or his Watermelon (see below) breath weapon in a 15 foot cone or a 10 foot radius burst centered on himself. Those who fail their Fortitude saving throw (DC is 10 plus half character level plus the Nigguard's Con modifier) are nauseated for 1d4 rounds.

At Nigguard level 5 and every 5 Nigguard levels after that, add 15 feet to the cone and 10 feet to the radius burst and how long enemies are nauseated by 1 round. Also at Nigguard level 10, it functions as a Poison spell against enemies who failed the Fortitude save (caster level equal to Nigguard level; no need to roll twice for the poison and nausea, for one Fort roll either negates both or neither).

This affects everyone except the Nigguard, other Nigguards, and allied niggers. Enemy niggers get a +2 circumstance bonus to their Fortitude saving throw against Chicken Breath, and the nausea lasts only half as long (minimum 1 round). Any creature immune to poison is immune to this effect.


Watermelon Breath (Su): Once he reaches 3rd level a Nigguard can, as standard action once every 2d8 rounds, use this or his Chicken (see above) breath weapon in a 10 foot cone or a 5 foot radius burst centered on himself. Allied niggers in the area (including himself) gain temporary hit points equal to the Nigguard's level.

At Nigguard level 5 and every 5 Nigguard levels after that, add 10 feet to the cone and 5 feet to the radius burst.

At Nigguard level 5, it can also function (on top of the normal temp hp) as either a lesser restoration, neutralize poison, remove blindness/deafness, or remove disease spell (caster level equal to Nigguard level), but only for one nigger target and only once an hour.

At level 10, it can also function as either a break enchantment, raise dead, or restoration spell (caster level equal to Nigguard level), but only for one nigger target and only once an hour.

At level 15, it can also function as either a greater restoration, heal, or resurrection spell (caster level equal to Nigguard level), but only for one nigger target and only once a day (if he uses one of these effects, he cannot use the other 1/hour watermelon breath effects for a day).

This isn't a positive energy effect; it can work on undead niggas, but not constructs or anything that was never alive. (can't be a nigga if ya got no soul or neva had one)


Muh Dik: At Nigguard level 4 and every 4 Nigguard levels after that, the Black King gains a +1 inherent bonus to both Strength and Con, to a maximum of +5 inherent bonus each at Nigguard level 20.

Also, they gain a +1 bonus to natural armor and 1 bonus hit point per hit die at every 4th Nigguard level, due to developing rhino hide and hippo guts via reveling in their extremely filthy, uncivilized, and ultraviolent lifestyle.

They also they gain a bonus to Initiative checks every 4 levels as they will be at the back o' da bus no mo'!


Pin The Blame On The Honky (Su): A fourth-level Nigguard becomes really good at igniting the black anger in his fellow niggers. Once per hour as a full-round action he makes a quick, violent speech to a number of nigger allies (including charmed and dominated niggers) up to his Nigguard level who can see, hear, and understand him. Upon completion, they go berserk as the barbarian equal to their character level, complete with barbarian class features directly related to barbarian rage (mighty rage, tireless rage...). This lasts as long as a rage normally would, and become fatigued as appropriate. A given nigger can only be affected by any Pin The Blame On The Honky use once per day. The Nigguard cannot use this ability on himself, but can use it on other Nigguards, and other Nigguards can use it on him. A nigger who for some reason doesn't wanna be enraged but the Nigguard wants him to is entitled to a Will save (DC 10 plus half Nigguard level plus Cha modifier). The Nigguard can choose which allies to try and enrage with this ability.


Stench Haze (Ex): A 4th-level Nigguard's sweaty crotchstank rises off him enough to make the very air around him wavy. He is constantly under the effect of a Blur spell (20% miss chance).

He is treated as having a strong scent for the purpose of the Scent extraordinary ability, and non-niggers within the normal reach for a creature the size of the Nigguard (5 feet for Medium, 10 feet for Large) must make a Fortitude save (DC 10 plus half Nigguard level plus Con modifier) or be sickened until they are no longer in that area.

Any non-nigger that hits him with a bite attack must immediately make a Fortitude saving throw (DC is 10 plus Nigguard level plus Con modifier) or be sickened for 10 rounds. Those that swallow whole are automatically sickened until they retch the Nigguard up along with anyone else down there (which they do if they fail the same Fortitude save at the beginning of their turn, and the beginning of the Nigguard's turn while inside).

Creatures with an Intelligence score of 3 or higher who are within triple range of Stench Haze with a working sense of smell realize that biting the Nigguard would be very bad for their tongue. Creatures with an Int of 1 or 2 who can smell the Nigguard outright refuse to bite unless they're immune to being sickened or nauseated or have no Constitution score.


Nigra Mouthbreathing: At Nigguard level 5, he can use his nigger breath weapons (Niggerbabble, Chicken Breath, Watermelon Breath) every 2d6 rounds. At level 10, he can use his breath weapons every 2d4 rounds. At level 15, he can use them every 1d4 rounds. At level 20, he can use it each and every round. (But it can still be used with, and qualifies for, metabreath feats with these breath weapons; he's treated as having a wait time of 0 rounds before being able to use the breath weapons again, as if one rolled a 1 while they had the Recover Breath metabreath feat.)


Groid Anger (Ex): At sixth-level, a Nigguard goes all out against those bastards who be keepin' him down. When he makes a charge against a non-nigger, he can follow up with a full attack (as the Pounce extraordinary ability). If he charges an uncle tom, he gains a bonus attack at his full BAB (even if he already has haste or a speed weapon).


Coon Power (Su): A sixth-level Nigguard's anger and discontentment leads him to having bursts of antipathy that lead him ever further towards beating the white out of everything. Once per hour as a standard action, he can use a Divine Power effect (as the spell) as a supernatural ability, with a caster level equal to his level in Nigguard.


Boss Nigger: At level 7 the Nigguard can acquire a cohort (above and beyond any he may have normally) whose level (including ECL; it could be a drow or brown dragon or whatever) is two lower than the Nigguard (it raises levels with the Nigguard). This cohort must be a nigger and cannot itself be another Nigguard.

Any that have been his cohort for at least one week gains the Kill Whitey class ability as if it were a Nigguard two levels lower than its total hit dice, but immediately loses it should it die, its Nigguard master dies, or is fired from being the Nigguard's cohort.

If this nigger cohort dies, or if the Nigguard just wants to replace her with a younger Cadillac, he may acquire another at any time that is sensible and appropriate for your campaign.

At level 13, he gains a second nigger cohort who follows the same rules as the first, except it is three levels lower than the Nigguard. At level 19, he gains a third one, except it's four levels lower.


Magic Negroe (Su): The Nigguard becomes better and better at having a magic johnson by level seven. Three times per day as a standard action, he can use a Greater Magic Fang, Greater Magic Weapon, or a Magic Vestment effect (as the spells) as supernatural abilities (self-only), with a caster level equal to his level in Nigguard.

He also gains spell resistance equal to his Nigguard level plus 11, and a resistance bonus to saving throws equal to 1 plus one per 4 levels in Nigguard.


Coon Might (Su): An eighth-level Nigguard's fear and self-loathing makes him feel so small in the pants that he must compensate in the most blatant way possible. Once per hour as a standard action, he can use a Righteous Might effect (as the spell) as a supernatural ability, with a caster level equal to his level in Nigguard.


Greater Stench Haze (Ex): A Nigguard's carefully cultivated BO is monumental by level nine. His stench haze is replaced with this, which gives him a permanent displacement effect (50% miss chance).

He is treated as having an overpowering scent for the purpose of the Scent extraordinary ability, and non-niggers within double the normal reach for a creature the size of the Nigguard (10 feet for Medium, 20 feet for Large) must make a Fortitude save (DC 10 plus half Nigguard level plus Con modifier) or be nauseated until they are no longer in that area.

Any non-nigger who hits with a bite attack must make a Fortitude saving throw (DC is 15 plus Nigguard level plus Con modifier) or be nauseated for 10 rounds. Those that swallow whole are automatically nauseated until they wretch the Nigguard up along with anyone else down there (which they do if they fail the same Fortitude save at the beginning of their turn, and the beginning of the Nigguard's turn while inside).

Creatures with an Intelligence score of 3 or higher who are within quadruple range of Greater Stench Haze with a working sense of smell realize that biting the Nigguard would be very bad for their tongue. Creatures with an Int of 1 or 2 who can smell the Nigguard outright refuse to bite unless they're immune to being sickened or nauseated or have no Constitution score.


Nigger's Feast (Su): A ninth-level Nigguard can regularly summon epic meals that are the dream of every spearchucker. Twice per day as a standard action, he can use a Heroes' Feast effect (as the spell) as a supernatural ability, consisting of seedless watermelons, purpa drank, addictionless booger sugar, cheap booze, dank weed, and fried and roasted chicken of every imaginable variety, all on crude tables and seats of wooden benches and metal pails. It only works for niggers; in fact, any non-nigger who takes even a single bite, sip, or toke must make a Fortitude save (DC 20 plus Nigguard level plus Con modifier) or be nauseated for one hour. If they make their save with 10 or fewer on the roll, they are sickened for 1 hour. Even if they can stomach more than a couple mouthfuls, it does nothing for them except cause massive fits of diarrhea and bad trips for a week. Despite this property, to everyone it looks and smells just as good as a giant meal of fried chicken sounds.


Coon Boon: At level eleven, a Nigguard can use his Coon Power and Coon Might abilities, and Chicken and Watermelon breath weapons, and Niggerbabble as swift actions. The DC's for Cha-based Nigguard abilities (Niggerbabble, Voodoo Glare, Smoove Talk) gain a +2 bonus here and another +1 bonus for every three Nigguard levels hereafter.

At fifteenth level, he uses both Coon Power and Coon Might at once with a swift action or as an immediate action, and he can use it every ten minutes rather than once an hour.


Smoove Talk (Su): At 12th-level, the voice of the Nigguard can sway any jungle bunny. This acts as a mass charm monster spell (DC is 10 plus half Nigguard level plus Cha modifier; with a caster level equal to his levels in Nigguard), but can only affect niggers (including uncle toms), and is usable once every ten minutes as a full-round action. This is language-dependent.

At 16th-level, this can be used to dominate non-niggers instead of charm, as a mass version of dominate monster (Targets: One or more creatures, no two of which can be more than 30 ft. apart). The Nigguard chooses whether to charm or dominate with each use of Smoove Talk.


Voodoo Glare (Su): At level 14, a Nigguard has become unnaturally adept at the nigger's trademark death stare. Any non-nigger or nigger enemy within 30 feet who meets his gaze must make a Will saving throw (DC is 10 plus half Nigguard level plus Cha modifier) or be frightened for 2d4 rounds. If a creature makes its saving throw, but only by 5 or fewer on the roll, it is instead shaken for 1d3 rounds. If a creature is already shaken or frightened, it becomes panicked for 3d6 rounds, and cowers if it cannot run. This is a mind-affecting fear effect. This is a gaze attack.

Add +2 to the DC for every size category he is larger than the target, and -2 to the DC for every size category he is smaller than the target. Add +1 to the DC for every 5 ranks in Intimidate.

If the Nigguard actively attempts to use his gaze as an attack action against a single creature, and it fails its save by 5 or more, it dies of fright. This is a mind-affecting death and fear effect. No other creature can be affected by the Nigguard's Voodoo Glare until the beginning of his next turn.

Any who succeed at their save cannot be affected by that Nigguard's or any other Nigguard's voodoo glare for 24 hours -- unless he actively attempts to gaze as an attack action, in which case if it succeeds, it can't be affected by either use of Voodoo Glare for 24 hours.

This effect is always active unless the Nigguard drops it as a swift action, and it takes a full-round action to activate it again. It's automatically inactive if the Nigguard is unconscious (including asleep), dazed, confused, sickened, nauseated, shaken, fear'd, or panicked and must be reactivated.

At Nigguard level 15 and every 5 levels after, add 15 feet to the range.


Ultimate Blackface (Su): At 17th-level, the Nigguard knows his brothers like no other. Once per round as a free action, he can Shapechange (as the spell, except he does not lose any of his class features or supernatural abilities, and he can shapechange into any form with up to twice his Nigguard level in hit dice so long as that form does not have a divine rank unless the Nigguard himself has a divine rank equal to or higher than the form he's attempting to emulate), but only into forms that can reasonably be called niggers (see above) that he is familiar with. He gains the shapechanger subtype, if he didn't already have it.


Wail of the Persecuted (Su): At 18th-level, the Nigguard can express his lifetime of suffering persecution mania and oppressed minority complex from the depths of his chicken-fuelled gut with a single, terrible scream. Once per hour as a swift action, all non-niggers and enemy niggers within close range (25 feet plus 5 feet per two Nigguard levels) must make a Fortitude save (DC is 15 plus half Nigguard level plus Con modifier) or die. Uncle toms take a -5 penalty to their saving throw versus this effect. This is a death and sonic effect.

When he uses this, non-niggers and enemy niggers within medium range (100 feet plus 10 feet per Nigguard level) takes 1d8+2 sonic damage per level of Nigguard and become permanently deafened (Fortitude save for half and deafened for a number of minutes equal to the Nigguard's level). Uncle toms -5 save yadah. Any exposed brittle or crystalline object or crystalline creature instead takes 1d12+4 per Nigguard level and is likewise deafened. This is a sonic effect.

Either effect dispels Silence spells and effects as a Greater Dispel Magic (caster level equal to Nigguard level). If it succeeds, roll for death and damage normally.

Roll the death effect first so you don't have to roll against them again if you kill them outright.


Perfect Kill Whitey (Ex): At 20th-level, a Nigguard adds the extra damage from Kill Whitey to each and every single attack against non-niggers.


Perfect Smite Whites (Ex): At 20th-level, a Nigguard automatically Smites Whites with each and every attack, regardless of range. Every attack roll he makes against non-niggers gains the attack bonus (and damage if applicable, even with improvised weapons).


Ultranigger: At level 20, the Nigguard truly is da niggest at long last. Along with the rest of what he gets at 20th-level, his type becomes outsider (native), no longer needs to eat, sleep, or breathe, becomes immortal (cannot die of old age, age penalties don't apply but bonuses still accrue), his land speed triples, gains a fly speed equal to quadruple his (new) land speed with perfect maneuverability, his size category increases by one with everything that entails, gains a +10 bonus on all attack rolls, ability checks (including initiative), and skill checks, gains bonus hit points equal to Strength modifier times hit dice, gains a +15 natural armor bonus and a deflection bonus to AC equal to the sum of his Intelligence, Wisdom, and Cha modifiers, a +20 bonus to all caster level checks and saving throws (and no longer automatically fails a saving throw on a natural 1), gains damage reduction 50/adamantine, epic, lawful, and good (his natural and unarmed attacks, as well as any weapon he wields, is treated as adamantine, chaotic, evil, and epic for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction), ignores all antimagic effects, becomes immune to any spell or effect that allows spell resistance, becomes immune to acid, cold, disintegration, electricity, fire, force, negative energy, positive energy (unless beneficial like a heal spell), and sonic damage and effects, gains fast healing 100 and regeneration 100 (no form of damage is lethal to the Ultranigger, just like the tarrasque), is permanently under the effects of foresight, freedom of movement, haste, mind blank, and true seeing (each extraordinary), becomes immune to ability damage, ability drain, blindness, calling effects, critical hits, deafness, death effects, disease, effects of the enchantment, evocation, illusion, and necromancy schools (though he can use such on himself), energy drain, exhaustion, fear, fatiguedness, nausea, paralysis, poison, polymorph effects (though he can use such on himself), petrification, sleep, stunned, summoning effects, and teleportation effects (though he can use such on himself), can use dimensional lock, discern location, dominate monster, gate (travel only), greater scrying, greater teleport, limited wish, mage's disjunction, mass heal, polymorph any object, project image, reverse gravity, summon monster IX, time stop, true resurrection, and wail of the banshee spells as swift action supernatural abilities at will (caster level equal to Nigguard level), uses d20's for all hit dice and has maximum hit points per hit die, gains a bonus standard action and a bonus move action each round, increases each of his ability scores by 15, and gains 20 bonus feats (can be epic feats) without needing to meet their prerequisites. His Level Adjustment increases by +20 and his Challenge Rating is 15 higher than it would normally be. If he's killed he rejuvenates in 1d4 weeks and always right behind whoever killed him (but he can choose to wait to rejuvenate until that person is asleep or otherwise completely vulnerable and doing so wouldn't harm or otherwise inconvenience the Ultranigger in the slightest); only a power higher than that of a greater deity (divine rank 21+) can prevent his rejuvenation, and only by personally killing him and using the alter reality salient divine ability to keep him dead. All nigger cohorts from Boss Nigger become Ultraniggers, too, so long as they've been so for one year. Y'all bitchass mothafuckas betta reco'nize.


Code of Conduct
Every Nigguard strives to be the niggest in everything he do. He must be rude, crude, judge by skin color, speak incomprehensibly (to non-niggers), bathe minimally, blame whitey for his and his brothas' problems, treat women little better than fucktoys, think in terms of black and white at all times, never tolerate disrespect, especially from established authority figures unless it's a higher level Nigguard or the leader of a gang he can't realistically take down in an afternoon of violence, never smile for pictures, et cetera. If he can reasonably get away with it, or it doesn't hurt his schemes and plots (wait, do Nigguards possess the mental capacity?), he should brutally murder and/or savagely rape an aryan or uncle tom he comes across at least every once in a while, throwing their internal organs every which way 'n' drinking their blood while cackling maniacally 'n' shyte. He urges his fellow niggers to act just like him, leading by example or hip hop.

Associates
While he may have brothas and sistas of any alignment and creature type, a Nigguard will never knowingly associate with an uncle tom or a honky who is not a race-betraying nigger-lover thoroughly conditioned by white guilt (and then he must dis and denigrate her at every opportunity to let her know who be da niggest). He may accept only henchmen, followers, or cohorts who are undeniable niggers. Exception: he may have slaves and a harem and/or rape dungeon full of whatever race, gender, and species he wants.


Ex-Nigguards
A Nigguard who grossly violates his code of conduct loses all Nigguard abilites (but not weapon and armor proficiencies). He may not progress any further in levels as a Nigguard. He regains his abilities and advancement potential if he atones for his violations (see the Atonement spell description), which always includes giving reparations to the nigger community or murdering or raping a few YTs or uncle toms, as appropriate.

A Nigguard who becomes good or lawful neutral cannot gain new levels as a Nigguard but retains all Nigguard abilities, until his alignment is again appropriate for a Nigguard.

Like a member of any other class, a Nigguard may be a multiclass character, but multiclass Nigguards face a special restriction. A Nigguard who gains a new class or (if already multiclass) raises another class by a level may never again raise his Nigguard level, though he retains all his Nigguard abilities. Only those who strive to be da niggest in everything he do deserves to BE da niggest, beyotch.


PLAYING A NIGGUARD

Roleplaying-wise, just take Typical Nigger Behavior, dial it past eleven, and make him as self-righteous about he and his brothas' TNB as a paladin is with being good 'n' shyte. Also make him as hateful towards YT and The Man as a paladin is toward evil and as a ranger is toward all his favored enemies put together.

Nigguards adventure to avenge their brothas for all perceived and imagined slights against their color and to smack dat bitch up for gold grilles, spinning rims, and purpa drank.


RELIGION

Nigguards are about as religious or atheist as your typical groid. Note that those who give a shit about higher powers are all PRAISE DA LAWD! 'n' shyte. So if a Nigguard is believer, make him as obnoxious and loud-mouthed about it as he is... well, about everything else niggers are.


OTHER CLASSES

Nigguards are good support characters as well as hold-their-own, black-ass mothafuckas. Really, what can I say here that isn't already mentioned under Combat, below?


COMBAT

Their BAB is equal to that of a wizard, so they're at a disadvantage at first glance. However, they make up for it with Kill Whitey and all its morale bonuses for himself as well as his allies when he or an ally, well, kills a cracker. He's kinda like a bard in that respect. With all the attack bonuses from spells and weapons, though, your BAB doesn't really mean all that much. But then, when he gets to level 6, he gets Coon Power which makes his BAB as that of a fighter pretty much at-will anyway -- unless you're fighting one battle after another. Pace yourself, son!

A Nigguard is also a competent healer like a cleric thanks to Watermelon Breath, and can make fellow niggers enter a barbarian rage with his speech. So yeah, they're decent support characters.

They can also do the debuff thang thanks to Niggerbabble and Chicken Breath, then getting even more powerful status effect attacks later on.

They're pretty durable with their good hit dice, various AC boosting abilities, Muh Dik, and Stench Haze. Coupled with combat prowess in the form of a bunch of bonus feats, Kill Whitey, Smite Whites, Magic Negroe, Coon Might, Voodoo Gaze, Smoove Talk, and Wail of the Persecuted, you want to put your Nigguard on the front lines at all times, as crowd control and as a boss killer.

Unless you wanna pop a cap in dey asses, in which case the Nigguard is well-prepared, too, thanks to Sideways Shooter.


ADVANCEMENT

Multiclass? Nigga, please. I guess if you want a little extra combat prowess and versatility you can take two or three levels and fo'geet 'bout da rest. But really, he gets cool if you stick with it I promise. Plus, y'know, the whole monk-/paladin-esque multiclass restrictions and code of conduct and all.


HUMAN (*cough*) NIGGUARD STARTING PACKAGE

Armor: Studded leather (+3 AC, armor check penalty –1, speed 30 ft., 20 lb.).

Weapons: Shortsword (1d6, crit 19-20/x2, 2 lbs, light melee, slashing).
Light crossbow (1d8, crit 19-20/x2, 4 lbs, range inc. 80 ft., piercing).
Skill Selection: Pick a number of skills equal to 4 + Int modifier.
Feats: Iron Will, Power Attack, Weapon Focus (Unarmed Strike)
Gear: Backpack with waterskin, one day's trail rations (fried chicken, what else?), sack, bedroll, and flint and steel. Three torches. Case with 10 crossbow bolts. Iron grille.


NIGGUARDS IN THE WORLD

"Jesus fucking Christ, those hooting chimps are getting worse every year. They've had half a century to prove they belong in civilized society, but they haven't and never will. Self-entitled, whiny dipshits, there is something seriously wrong with the lot of them. And now there are a few who have taken up arms against their rightful masters, and stir up trouble with their big old baboon mouths? It's about time we put these animals to the sword along with their degenerate, bleeding-heart supporters." -- Valorious Nomercius, Klan leader and Knight Templar

Nigguards run around and cause lots of trouble with their baboon mouths, committing spree crimes with glee and pride and urging their brothas to follow suit. Cries of "Muh dik!" and "We's da presadent nao!" follow them wherever they plop their fat asses. Most niggers behave themselves because they fear White Law, but when a Nigguard trolls along and isn't jailed and noose-hung the moment he's spotted or smelt, he immediately sets to inspiring riots and gang warfare. When they aren't just being half the wanton gorilla dicks they claim to own, they are elite thugs and eventual leaders of any gang they're a part of. If they aren't put down by right-thinking individuals, they and their charges grow malignant and eat away and kill any community they are infecting.


DAILY LIFE

A Nigguard typically begins his day finding a nice public place to jerk off, and after the money shot smokes some weed. Then he squats 'n' shits into his cupped palm and whips it at anyone who looks at him sideways or who wears a badge, all the while jumping around and hooting and hollering. Fellow niggers are impressed by these audacious acts of raw and untamed niggatrocity, and are inspired to monkey-see-monkey-do. Any whites will be met with murderous savagery or, if it's a white female, labia-tearing gangrape.


NOTABLES

Da Melon Ballas, who own most of the streets of the slums of whatever huge-ass city you plop 'em down in, is lead by Pimp-Daddy Tyrone Jamal-Jenkem Washington and his no-homo bro Bigjuice Poptart, the shapeshifting, shades-sportin', niggest spiderdude around. They're both full-time jackasses who love shooting up, beating women, crossbowing children in ride-bys, and shitting in their own nest. But Tyrone never tolerates any of his brothas and sistas not defending dey creyib from The Man.


ORGANIZATIONS

...you're kidding, right?


NPC REACTIONS

Niggers love their champion stinkbombs, whereas everyone else hates those noisy, rude sons of bitches who seem to actively hate the very concepts of manners, societal norms, and authority in any form other than law of the jungle (and only when they carry the biggest stick). Even if a creature doesn't care one way or another for niggers, if they're offended by offensive odors and big-lipped idiots their starting attitude is one lower than it would be normally. The starting attitude of niggers who aren't already hostile and aren't members of another gang (if applicable) start their attitude one higher, and uncle toms absolutely hate the most vile and contemptuous of their kind with unrivaled passion, and aryan hate is self-explanatory, and thus their starting attitudes are always two lower than they should be.


NIGGUARD LORE

Characters with ranks in Knowledge (local), or who have the bardic knowledge ability, can research Nigguards and learn more about them. They gain the knowledge if they meet the listed DC's and below yadah yadah.

DC 12: Niggers are annoying as shit, but Nigguards are even worse! They're like the gang leaders or big bosses or some sheyit. They can do all sorts of crazy shit like making other niggers frenzy with bloodlust for aryan blood that just gets worse when they spill YT blood, and having stank-ass breath that'll knock yo ass flat from ten paces, but their breath smells good and righteous to themselves and other niggers. They also really, really hate YT even moreso than most niggers.

DC 17: Nigguards are like the chimp's champions, kinda like paladins if they sucked even harder. They're skilled in combat like fighters and quite good at smacking you around bare-handed like monks. They like stabbing you with daggers and shortswords, and can achieve a dead-eye aim with small crossbows and other peashooters. When they kill a white or a black who isn't a nigger (rarest of the rare), they get such a big happy dick that for a few minutes they become really good at hitting, hurting, and not getting hit and hurt. Their breath and babbling can heal themselves and friends like a cleric, sicken and poison enemies, and even make you go nuts and hit yourself.

DC 21: They're also known as the Black Kings, and the really strong ones are true magic negroes; they can supernaturally empower their armor, weapons, and even their fists, make themselves grow twice as big and dangerous, nourish their fellows with food and drink from thin air, and they stink so bad they're hard to hit, and anything that bites them will never taste anything so horrible ever again. They attract followers that are almost as deranged and sickening as themselves.

DC 24: Some are so powerful they can terrorize with a glare (sometimes scaring bitches to death!), make niggas obey their command with voodoo voices 'n' shyte, transform into monstrously savage negroe beasts, and scream so loud that mothafuckas just fuckin' DIE. Yeah, they can kill you twice. Watch yourself, son.

DC 30: Characters who achieve this level of success can learn important details about the specific Nigguards in your campaign, or wutevs. A character trying to establish contact with a Nigguard or an organization opposed to such individuals can make a DC 30 Gather Information check to discover the necessary intermediaries and protocols for contact 'n' shyte.


ADAPTATION

Uh.. Change the names of his class features and make him some sort of generic magic knight or supernatural soldier?


SAMPLE ENCOUNTER

If you're not a groid, he is either a massive nuisance or a threat to your very life, or both. If you are, he is the second coming of Jesus. Or Pelor. Or whoever your tiny chimp brain worships.

EL 9: Should a turf war occur on his front step but his swarming coon minions can't drive it away with sufficient whooping and poop-whipping, Jamal-Jenkum and Poptart ride on in and show the rest of their monkey tribe how it's done. Tyrone goes in for the kill while Bigjuice pisses everybody off with major image, color spray, glitterdust, grease, and webs.


Tyrone Jamal-Jenkum Washington -- CR 9
Male human Nigguard 9
CE Medium humanoid
Init +8; Senses Listen +0, Spot +0
Languages Common, Niggerbabble
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AC 19 (+2 Dex, +5 armor [mithral breastplate], +2 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 17; +4 morale (after drop/kill non-nigger); +6 morale (after drop/kill uncle tom); +2 magic vestment (magic negroe); +2 natural (righteous might); +3 shield when wielding hand crossbow with empty off-hand (sideways shot); 50% miss chance (greater stench haze)
hp 94 (9 HD); hp 103 (coon might); +9 temporary (coon power)
Resist +3 resistance bonus to saves (magic negroe); spell resistance 20 (magic negroe)
Fort +11, Ref +11, Will +8; after drop/kill non-nigger Fort +15, Will +12; after drop/kill uncle tom Fort +17, Will +14; +9 versus stench-based attacks (troglodyte, hezrou) or any attack that would make him nauseated or sickened (stinking cloud)
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Speed 30 ft. (6 squares)
Melee adamantine kukri +9 (1d4+4/18-20) and unarmed strike +8 (2d6+6; lethal)
Ranged mwk hand crossbow +7 (1d4+3/19-20)
With Coon Power/Might and Magic Negro active
Melee +2 adamantine kukri +19/+14 (1d6+11/18-20) and +2 unarmed strike +19/+14 (2d8+15; lethal)
Ranged +2 hand crossbow +12/+7 (1d6+5/19-20)
And after killing a non-nigger
Melee +2 adamantine kukri +23/+18 (1d6+15/18-20) and +2 unarmed strike +23/+18 (2d8+19; lethal)
Ranged +2 hand crossbow +17/+11 (1d6+9/19-20)
Or after killing an uncle tom
Melee +2 adamantine kukri +25/+20 (1d6+17/18-20) and +2 unarmed strike +25/+20 (2d8+21; lethal)
Ranged +2 hand crossbow +19/+13 (1d6+11/19-20)
Base Atk +4; Grp +8 (+22 w/ CPMN)
Atk Options +1d6 with first attack against each non-nigger a turn, or +2d6 vs. uncle toms (kill whitey)
Special Actions chicken breath (SA breath weap every 2d6 rounds [this or watermelon], 30 foot cone or 20 foot radius burst on self, Fort DC 17 or nauseated 1d4+1 rounds on enemies), coon might (1/hour Righteous Might [+4 size Strength, +2 size Con, +2 enhancement natural, DR 3/good]/9 rounds/CL 9), coon power (1/hour Divine Power [BAB +9, +6 enhancement Strength, 9 temp hp/9 rounds/CL 9]), groid anger (pounce vs non-niggers; 1 bonus attack on uncle toms and aryans), kill whitey (upon drop/kill non-nigger: +4 morale to atk rolls, weap dam, AC, Fort & Will, Intimidate/9 minutes [double bonus & length if drop/kill uncle tom] plus morale bonus of 20 feet to speed for 9 rounds [40 feet/18 rounds if drop/kill uncle tom]) magic negroe (3/day greater magic weapon [+2/9 hours/CL 9], greater magic fang [+2/9 hours/CL 9], or magic vestment [+2/9 hours/CL 9]) niggerbabble (SA breath weap every 2d6 rounds, enemies in 60 feet Will DC 15 or confused 1d4 rounds on enemies), smite whites 4/day (+9 atk, +4 dam vs non-niggers; +18 atk, +8 dam vs uncle toms), watermelon breath (SA breath weap every 2d6 rounds [this or chicken], 20 foot cone or 10 foot radius burst on self, +9 temp hp on self and allies plus either lesser restoration, neutralize poison, remove blindness/deafness, or remove disease spell on 1 target per hour)
Combat Gear 100 crossbow bolts
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Abilities Str 19, Dex 14, Con 17, Int 8, Wis 10, Cha 12
SQ code of conduct, greater stench haze (50% miss chance, enemies in 10 feet [20 if using coon might] must Fort DC 17 or be nauseated until they leave area, overpowering scent, any who bites or swallows must Fort DC 27 or be nauseated for 10 rounds), muh dik (+2 initiative and natural armor), sheboon slapper (unarmed is lethal, damage progress as monk, 1.5 str mod and pwr atk as two-hand weap), sideways shot (one-handed ranged weap 1.5 dex mod as weap dam; if wield OHRW and nothing in offhand, +3 shield to AC)
Feats Cleave, Combat Reflexes, Heighten Breath, Improved Critical (Unarmed Strike), Improved Natural Weapon (Unarmed Strike), Improved Initiative, Improved Unarmed Strike, Iron Will, Power Attack, Tempest Breath*
* only usable with Coon Might or something else increasing his size to Large
Skills Bluff +7, Intimidate +13, Knowledge (local) +7, Perform (sing [rap only]) +11
Possessions combat gear plus adamantine kukri, +2 grille of health, mithral breastplate, mwk hand crossbow, 382 gp


Bigjuice Poptart -- CR 7
Male advanced aranea
NE Medium magical beast (shapechanger)
Init +6; Senses Listen +9, Spot +9; darkvision 60 feet, low-light vision
Languages Common, Niggerbabble, Sylvan
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AC 16 (+2 Dex, +2 deflection, +3 natural), touch 12, flat-footed 14
hp 45 (6 HD)
Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +6
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Speed 50 ft. (10 squares), climb 25 ft.
Melee bite +8 (1d6 plus poison)
Ranged web +8
Base Atk +6; Grp +6
Atk Options kill whitey (as a 4th-level Nigguard), poison (Fort DC 15, 1d6 str/2d6 str), web (see aranea in MM)
Special Actions change shape (see aranea in MM), spells (6th-lvl sorcerer)
Spells per day (6/7/6/4; save DC 13 + spell level)
0th: daze, detect magic, ghost sound, light, prestidigitation; 1st: charm person, expeditious retreat, color spray, grease; 2nd: glitterdust, mirror image; 3rd: major image
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Abilities Str 11, Dex 15, Con 14, Int 14, Wis 13, Cha 17
Skills Climb +14, Concentration +12, Escape Artist +7,
Jump +13, Listen +9, Spot +9
Feats Improved Initiative, Iron Will, Spell Focus (Illusion), Weapon Finesse
Possessions cloak of resistance +1, ring of protection +2, sunglasses of charisma +2, 200 gp
Level Adjustment +1

(note: dis nigg's level adjustment was reduced because dem spider changelings surely ain't no worth +4; the hell wuz day crazy bitches smokin'?)