Doctor Anon 2

>The good doctor isn't letting it stop her in any way.
>"The brain goes in the specimen jar. Make sure it's labeled with the proper identification number, do you remember what it was?"
"Uh, Jef-, er, Jay - Eff - Six - hundred?"
>"Good Doctor. They do still teach things at those east-coast universities."
"Actually I graduated fro-"
>"I don't care. Just fill out the indecent report. Make sure to mention the cause of selection for dissection and analysis."
"Uh, what was that?"
>She exhales heavily.
>"Call it a self-inflicted injury as a result of unacceptable aggression." She says, staring up at the tile ceiling. "They'll want to double check it's brain for aberrant growths, or possibly a chemical imbalance. Does that answer your questions?"
>You tell her that you understand.
>"Good. Now get back to cleaning the cages. You've been here with me for almost a full hour, and we have quotas to maintain."
---
>You clean the fluffy shit-trays out of more cages. Most only have light dropping in them, most Fluffies are happy to have you come and "make smeww pwetty!" or "take bad poopies owt." Almost all of them want to "Pway?"
>Some are a little defensive, and when they puff their cheeks, you're fast to offer them a "Nummy (tm)" in exchange for their cooperation.
>They always accept.
>Dr. Dela Rosa calls to you "Stop what you're doing! We need to take a Random Sample! Just take the one whose cage you're working on now."
"But then it's not really a ran-"
>"Just get it's Fluffy butt in here."
>You look at the green unicorn male whose cage you are cleaning right then.
>He giggles excitedly "Fwiend wan' pway wif Fwuffy?"
>You make a note of the Specimen number: JM-763
"Yes. Come with me."
>You gently take the pony and carry him at chest height in both hands, facing forward.
>"Whee! Pway Ai'pwane! Vooommm"
>He wriggles a little in your grasp, holding his legs in the classic "superman" flying, position. he even leans in as you take a corner.
>You swallow your ethical concerns, and get on with preparations...
>After a very minor cleaning (he was a surprisingly fastidious little green ball of fur), and a gentle urging to go "poopies" in the sanitation drain (which it does very neatly and with great pride, having not gotten any on himself), you put him on the stainless steel table, and ready the lethabarb.
>Just then, Dr. Dela Rosa bustles in.
>"What's this one?" she asks, clipboard ready.
"J - M 7 6 3"
>"Jeh-emmm? Is Fwufy name Jem? Jem wuv name! Yu is new daddy?"
>Aw crap.
>"Yes Jem, I'm your daddy. I need to give you something."
>"Huggies?" Jem (damnit, you've named it in your mind now too) sits upright, front legs splayed, ready to receive hugs.
"Huggies soon Jem, but first this little... sting."
>"Stwing? Fwuffy wuv stwing!"
"More like a pinch..."
>you distract the pony with a Nummy (tm), and then give it the injection quickly.
>"Owwies... why gif owwies... daddy... gud.. fwuf-"
>Time of death: 11:47 AM.
>Cause: overdose of barbiturates.
>Dr Dela Rosa lingers over the corpse for a minute.
>"If you actually got this one to completely empty it's bowels i'll eat a-"
>The tiny green unicorn shits wetly, discoloring it's fur around it's tiny anus.
>"Nevermind. Clean up the mess, then dissection of a unicorn."
---
>With the Fluffy unicorn on it's back, Dr. Dela Rosa starts with the genitals.
>You wince as the scalpel shears away the testicles from the corpse.
>"The gonads of a male fluffy are not terribly efficient. While they do always produce sperm, the quantity is quite low, a rabbit ejaculates almost twice as much as a fluffy stallion does."
>She slaps it down into the specimen bag you are holding. You wince and seal the package, carefully marking it before adding it to the sample kit.
>"The boys in processing always try to reclaim the sperm from those, largely to check for mutations in the genome or "Kancer" growths."
>She sighs.
>"It's the dumbest fucking name you could have given a defect in a toy. Just call it what it is! Cancer! Then we can just move on without having to turn off auto-correct on all our fucking documents. I'm ranting aren't I?"
>You don't say anything.
>Bitch still be swinging a dick-removing-knife around.
>She tuns back to the corpse and splays it open.
>"Males with "Kancer" rarely just die from that alone... but it makes their circulatory system even more fragile. Any strenuous activity... like... running really fast for a long time... or (cough) mating. Yeah, they die after they pass on their mutant self-destructive genes, making the next generation worse. Stomach."
>She passes the freshly removed organ to you. You bag it quickly.
>The rest of the dissection continues without any more gonad-related discussion, much to your relief.
>"Okay, this is the important part. Remember the pegasis skull? Well this is The Horn Root on unicorns.
>As before, she flays the skull down to the bone, then cracks it apart like a walnut with her (gloved) hand.
>"The Horn itself is immediately obvious, you can even see where it penetrates the skin. Notice that the coloration of the horn matches the fluffy's fur? Both keratin, both processed the same way by the fluffy's digestive system, both get the same unnatural dye in it..."
>She passes the horn over to you.
>"You can tell the basic coloration a Fluffy pony is going to be by looking at it's egg before it's even a zygote. The male's semen is white, same as almost any creature's, but as you saw earlier, the female's eggs are multicolored."
>It's dull, and grown with a very shallow spiral groove on it.
>"I want you to squeeze the horn now."
"Wat?"
>"Put your thumb at the base on the inside of the skull, where the brain would be touching... and squeeze."
>You do so.
>The horn begins to glow faintly.
>"The horned Fluffy Ponies develop a piezoelectric crystal inside of their horn. They can generate a tiny, tiny, TINY amount of energy if they raise their blood pressure."
"Like by puffing out their cheeks..."
>"Exactly. You're learning something.
>Dr. Dela Rosa fishes the brain out of the ruined skull of the male unicorn.
>"Make sure to package the brain and the horn together. Processors want to see healthy veining on the underside of the horn root, and that the brain chemistry was within standard variables."
>As she passes the last of the deceased fluffy's organs to you, she rips off her gloves.
>"Well, that's it for random samples. From here out, only tell me if you find a specimen who is distinctly different. Sharp horn, obvious mutation, birth defects should all be caught before they reach maturity, but you never know. We want to prevent accidents out there."
"Prevent accidents? I was under the impression that my job would be to take part in the resea-"
>She cuts you off. "There is currently no further research being done into the Fluffy Pony bio-toy line. It was released, and so is our development of it has ended. Until Fluffy Ponies prove popular enough for Hasbro to fund the research and development of a new generation, it is our place to just maintain. Now clean up this mess."
>She chucks her blood-stained gloves into the Hazmat bin.
>You're not sure, but you think there's a raw nerve there that you keep rubbing.