Social Media Problems

[02:52] <@weedgoku> <diribigal> http://geten.tumblr.com/post/72867521219/where-can-i-read-juicy-gossip-about-me-the
[03:01] <@weedgoku> lol at the unbridledpedia being the ponygoons snark wiki
[03:01] <@weedgoku> instead of like
[03:01] <@weedgoku> shit dons and nums and myself made fun of once.tcxt
[03:02] <@DongStrongly> wasnt that covered like 5 months ago?
[03:03] <@weedgoku> im referring to geten mentioning it
[03:07] <@DongStrongly> so hes even further behind than everyone else
[03:14] * @DongStrongly (~dongstron@Horse.Farts.4eva) Quit (Ping timeout: 182 seconds)
[03:15] <@minusX> I've been really wrestling with the idea of removing that group from my friendslist on social media because it really just hurts to see them post stuff and I feel like I'm trying to force a friendship that isn't there but I still want to hear about their lives
[03:15] <@minusX> yep
[03:16] <@weedgoku> huh
[03:16] <@weedgoku> back up a bit
[03:17] <@weedgoku> like youre friends with the art fiends crew on facebook, or something?
[03:17] <@minusX> facebook, twitter, skype
[03:17] <@weedgoku> cause i hardly see you on skype and afaik you've no tumblr or deviantart
[03:17] <@weedgoku> o
[03:17] <@weedgoku> what stuff do they post that hurts?
[03:17] <@minusX> Also tumblr but I never post, I am bad at tumblr
[03:18] <@minusX> Seeing anything that reminds me of them hurts.  Ikea hurts, cute stuff at Target hurts, jokes hurt
[03:18] <@weedgoku> im bad at tumblr too >:D like ive somehow moved to posting less than once a week
[03:18] <@minusX> Like I'm crying right now over this group of people who want nothing to do with me for the most part and holy shit it's stupid
[03:18] <@weedgoku> oh so you just drifted apart
[03:18] <@weedgoku> that sucks
[03:18] <@minusX> No
[03:18] <@minusX> I was forced out
[03:19] <@weedgoku> oh that sucks even mroe
[03:19] <@minusX> I was forced out and given a bullshit reason because someone didn't want to hurt my feelings about it which made no sense and then when I finally went "okay so hey what the hell" I got the straight answer I thought it was which was nagging me for MONTHS and
[03:20] <@weedgoku> i dunno all i can say is you cant force anything really
[03:20] <@weedgoku> like for example
[03:20] <@minusX> It hurts the most because I was actively trying to not make anyone not want me around and it didn't work
[03:20] <@weedgoku> one of the ppl, cygaj/futuresparkle/etc. is someone who i feel hey id totally be best friends with them irl
[03:21] <@minusX> Which means it's not a matter of doing something stupid on purpose but something inherently wrong with me as a person
[03:21] <@weedgoku> but i wont make it happen
[03:21] <@weedgoku> what was the reason if you dont mind telling?
[03:23] <@minusX> So they basically had a chunkychat skype thing
[03:23] <@minusX> We talked a lot in chat but also using the voice chat
[03:23] <@minusX> like hours daily
[03:24] <@minusX> I was taken aside "Hey you've been bothering people with how you talk" "Oh uh. Who? Can I have examples?"
[03:24] <@minusX> I was told no on who, given some loose examples and just to watch what I said and how I said it
[03:25] <@minusX> Then when I was talking with a new person there I had someone remove some of the chat I was typing, not telling me anything just removing it
[03:25] <@minusX> I was later pulled aside and told stuff but I said they should've told me stuff instead of just removing it, that doesn't make me know I was saying something wrong
[03:25] <@minusX> After that I was always walking on egg shells
[03:26] <@minusX> I stopped talking in calls and just listened because I didn't want to say something wrong.  I would talk in the chat while being muted because I could write and rewrite and rewrite and delete stuff
[03:26] <@weedgoku> did you criticise something you shouldn't've
[03:26] <@minusX> No
[03:27] <@minusX> I drifted and didn't say anything for a while and lurked a LOT because I didn't want to fuck up
[03:27] <@minusX> and was really really really careful on what I said and linked and everything
[03:28] <@minusX> And then I come back to being removed from the call after saying something the previous day but no one seemed bothered and it wasn't anything that was grating as far as I could tell
[03:30] <@minusX> Someone other than the person who removed me PMed me and said they were clearing out the main chat of people who hadn't talked in a while and someone who just rejoined after being gone for months had talked an hour before I was removed
[03:30] <@minusX> PMed them and asked if they were in the chat
[03:30] <@minusX> "Yeah, are you having problems? You were the only one missing I noticed"
[03:30] <@weedgoku> i think it'd be best to cut off all contact. they seem like theyre only not douchey to people way in their in group
[03:31] <@weedgoku> like, maybe quiltbag from a few months ago comes close, the wway they'd turn on you if you fuck up the feminisms
[03:31] <@minusX> A week before I asked to join the game chat for the group so I could spend time getting to know everyone again and I guess they saw that as a chance to still have me with some people who didn't get bothered by how I said stuff
[03:31] <@weedgoku> i mean the level of in-groupness only with that, not the douchiness
[03:31] <@minusX> But it really shattered me
[03:31] <@minusX> I cried a lot
[03:32] <@minusX> I'm even shaking about it now
[03:32] <@weedgoku> i dont even know what you couldve done wrong i think youre a cool dude
[03:32] <@minusX> The game chat changed to a new chat and I was moved over there
[03:33] <@minusX> I pmed the person who moved me and went "oh hey thanks uh why was I moved though? I rarely talk" and he said there was no reason for me to not be moved
[03:34] <@minusX> I asked the nagging question and finally had closure that the reason I was removed was what I thought it was.  Someone tried to protect me by lying to me and it just ended up hurting more in the long run.  I got to vent to the person and he said a lot of things that helped.  At the end I asked if he still considered us friends "Well to be honest we really weren't ever close." which was true but I honestly considered all of them great friends
[03:34] <@minusX> I still do and it's just
[03:34] <@minusX> I've had this happen a few times in my life with groups of friends
[03:35] <@minusX> they end up hating me randomly for a while and then after being in my general area go "Wait what the fuck were we thinking please hang out with us" and it's over as fast as it started
[03:35] <@minusX> But being that I only see them online there's no "being around me"
[03:36] <@minusX> Willsun threw ponygoons/THEFANDOM to the curb
[03:36] <@minusX> Everyone else really only uses tumblr
[03:36] <@weedgoku> was the willsun thing because of numsOic arguing with him about FiW8
[03:37] <@minusX> It was part of it as far as I can tell
[03:37] <@minusX> Because Willsun is great friends with the team behind it
[03:37] <@minusX> they are in the call
[03:37] <@weedgoku> theyve got gilded thrones in the circlejerk :twisted:
[03:38] <@minusX> It's more a matter of knowing intent of the authors because you talk to them
[03:38] <@weedgoku> purple and gold pillows, milkshakes, etc
[03:38] <@weedgoku> i see
[03:38] <@minusX> But I comment on post and like things but it gets lost in the shuffle and I'm surpised I haven't been blocked or removed on sites already and ugh
[03:38] <@weedgoku> whats your tumblr?
[03:39] <@minusX> http://minusx.tumblr.com/
[03:40] <@weedgoku> i see
[03:41] <@weedgoku> http://puddinbun.tumblr.com/ i added this person back when i was adding all the artfiend tubmrls and she was sorta removed from the group too
[03:41] <@weedgoku> like the main tumblr that listed all the Fiends no longer linked to hers and i asked about it i think it was a public answer
[03:42] <@minusX> Is that puddin pie?
[03:42] <@weedgoku> probably
[03:42] <@weedgoku> george
[03:42] <@weedgoku> lives in australia
[03:43] <@weedgoku> she and cygaj and ponywise seem like the nicest, least obnoxious and least self aggrandising people from that whole set so theyve stuck around in my follows
[03:44] <@minusX> George is cool
[03:44] <@minusX> The whole group is cool to me ugh
[03:44] <@minusX> maydoe
[03:44] <@weedgoku> really? i think youre putting them on a major pedestal
[03:44] <@weedgoku> wait maydoe shes cool too
[03:44] <@minusX> maydoe is so nice
[03:44] <@weedgoku> forgot if i follow her but probably yeah
[03:45] <@minusX> sponsz is often a dick I'd never deny that
[03:45] <@weedgoku> http://doemay.tumblr.com/ yeah
[03:45] <@minusX> Willsun is explosively angry a lot of times
[03:45] <@weedgoku> like i said, only not douches to people in the in group
[03:45] <@minusX> Like I have had to talk him down about mod stuff often
[03:46] <@minusX> "Step away from this, you've getting too worked up"
[03:46] <@weedgoku> one reason i like people in here is that instead of being llike that, they just have a baseline level of being prickly
[03:46] <@weedgoku> and dont stray from it much
[03:47] <@minusX> This went from being a passing rant where I started to tear up a bit into the whole story haha
[03:48] <@minusX> quinthitler is great
[03:48] <@minusX> Oderlan is great
[03:48] <@weedgoku> no clue who that iw
[03:48] <@weedgoku> s
[03:48] <@minusX> They are the nonartistic people
[03:48] <@weedgoku> is numerosix one of them? the guy who "likes" all of ofsheeps posts
[03:48] <@weedgoku> using the "like" feature
[03:49] <@minusX> Quinthitler is rhjeizm or something like that, I had him visit up here for Dragon*Con
[03:49] <@minusX> And kefka is great
[03:49] <@minusX> I slept on his couch
[03:49] <@minusX> Basically a lot of the people who are the call are who I miss, not exactly what people see as the front facing artfriends people
[03:49] <@weedgoku> i see
[03:50] <@weedgoku> i find it hard to believe that kefka is cool but w/e
[03:50] <@minusX> I mean I wouldn't sleep on the guy's couch
[03:50] <@minusX> if he wasn't
[03:50] <@minusX> oh shit badzerg is also great
[03:55] <@weedgoku> i think you should reconsider if theyre really all super great fun guys
[03:55] <@weedgoku> they cast you out in this pissy nonconfrontational way
[03:55] <@minusX> Yeah but it's like "Hey we banned hi because he was a douche to someone we care about don't let him back in" so we don't let him back in
[03:56] <@weedgoku> shit, true
[03:56] <@weedgoku> that ones hard because pineapple made it a its him or me thing
[03:56] <@minusX> And it's "How was he shitty?" "Here's all these examples, we've talked to him about, he knows" etc
[03:56] <@weedgoku> him = hi
[03:57] <@minusX> Also fx was really cool
[03:57] <@weedgoku> and on the other hand nimrod likes the guy, dexanth likes the guy, etc
[03:58] <@minusX> ugh
[03:58] <@weedgoku> by hard im not trying to say oh its DIFFERENT we're JUSTIFIEd
[03:58] <@minusX> All my shaking is your fault weedgoku, but holy shit how am I not past this
[03:58] <@weedgoku> sorry
[03:58] <@minusX> it's fine
[03:58] <@minusX> It's not like you knew it would be a thing nor did I have to say anything or keep talking about it
[04:00] <@weedgoku> unbridleds never gonna be anywhere near as close knit as they were but id consider you a friend fwiw
[04:01] <@minusX> I have a lot of friends who go "Holy shit Gene is amazing" shortly after I get down about it and it's uplifting and I think "Fuckers are missing out, sucks for them" and I moved on but it still hurts
[04:01] <@weedgoku> worst case scenario if nobody in that group ever acknowledged your existence: what would you do
[04:02] <@weedgoku> oh, thats good to hear
[04:02] <@minusX> Like this weekend is my birthday party since last weekend I threw it but invited everyone 3 hours before because I thought I had plans but they fell through
[04:03] <@minusX> only one person showed up who was going to stay for an hour but stayed longer because no one was there
[04:03] <@minusX> but when I moved it to a week later everyone went "thank god we were so sad to miss it!" and there's a lot of people coming
[04:03] <@minusX> And that's great
[04:03] <@minusX> but it's just
[04:03] <@minusX> Iunno
[04:03] <@minusX> There's this group of people I consider really close friends who just don't want anything to do with me and I can't fix it
[04:04] <@weedgoku> on what grounds do you consider them close friends
[04:04] <@weedgoku> feelings need to be mutua
[04:04] <@weedgoku> l
[04:04] <@minusX> Spending 3-7 hours 4-6 days on skype talking for a year and a half
[04:05] <@minusX> 4-6days a week
[04:05] <@weedgoku> but this no longer continues
[04:06] <@minusX> There's been an investment of quality and quanity time in the friendship, to the point where I had to awkwardly explain an ongoing group skype call to people because that's who I talked about to most people
[04:06] <@minusX> Imagine explaining chunky chat to offline friends
[04:10] <@weedgoku> it just looks to me like caring about them is one way and only hurting yourself now
[04:11] <@weedgoku> and if you cut them off emotionally it would hurt more in the short term but be best in the long term. not that i;d know how to do anything like that, maybe im just talking out of my ass
[04:12] <@minusX> Naw it's true
[04:12] <@minusX> But like
[04:12] <@weedgoku> its just that this situation reminds me of my brother still being mad at high school bullies, resenting the fact that they got away with it
[04:12] <@minusX> The people who aren't assholes are who I don't want to lose the connection with
[04:12] <@minusX> They are who I care a lot about
[04:12] <@weedgoku> i dont know how to help him cut it off emotionally either
[04:13] <@minusX> That's kinda a case of living better
[04:13] <@weedgoku> its already lost
[04:13] <@minusX> I mean your brother, should live better and fuck 'em
[04:13] <@weedgoku> yeah he should and he already does
[04:14] <@weedgoku> makes enough money for himself, plays whatever bideogames he likes, has a kid and loving girlfriend
[04:14] <@weedgoku> he should be like fuckem
[04:19] <@minusX> Thanks for asking about everything and caring
[04:19] <@minusX> quiltbag doesn't seem as clique now if you ever rejoined
[04:19] <@minusX> a lot of people left honestly
[04:19] <@weedgoku> have you been in it all the time?
[04:19] <@minusX> Yes
[04:19] <@minusX> I've been in it since it was founded
[04:20] <@minusX> rarely not there
[04:20] <@weedgoku> what happened? i left after i said something dumb and hurt cobalt's feelings cause i felt really bad about that
[04:20] <@weedgoku> happened in terms of +o and +a and all that changing hands
[04:20] <@minusX> cobalt left forever
[04:20] <@weedgoku> huh..
[04:20] <@minusX> piney left forever
[04:21] <@minusX> Uhhhhhhhhhhhh someone else did whose name escapes me
[04:21] <@minusX> because I am terrible with names
[04:21] <@minusX> Lilli
[04:22] <@weedgoku> lilli's real cool, shame she hasnt been around
[04:22] <@minusX> She decided to say fuck it all and left
[04:22] <@minusX> She's still on the network if you want to PM her
[04:22] <@weedgoku> fuck what all
[04:22] <@minusX> ponygoons
[04:22] <@minusX> trs
[04:22] <@minusX> etc
[04:22] <@weedgoku> why did she nums out
[04:22] <@minusX> Said bye to me and some others and left
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:51] <Lilli> If you ever want to chat I'm at the very least always idled on it and will get messages
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:48] <Lilli> Thanks for being rad as hell
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:49] <minusX> :o?
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:49] <Lilli> You were one of the people it was fun to meet and I enjoyed the company of pretty consistently while I hung out around here :)
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:50] <minusX> Are you deciding to move on from ponygoons?
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:50] <Lilli> Yeah pretty much
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:50] <minusX> :(
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:50] <Lilli> Since I probably won't see you anymore I just wanted to have the chance to say you were awesome :)
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:51] <minusX> Well thank you
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:51] <minusX> I hope everything goes well for you
[04:23] <@minusX> [19:51] <minusX> We'll still be around I'm sure
[04:24] <@minusX> also I guess this should've all been a pm but whatevers
[04:33] * minusX is now known as minusZzZ
[04:33] <@minusZzZ> thanks for listening
[04:33] <@weedgoku> k
[04:33] <@weedgoku> goodnight
[04:33] <@minusZzZ> I really should go to sleep
[04:33] <@minusZzZ> night
[04:33] <@minusZzZ> sleep well
[04:33] <@weedgoku> and no problem
[04:33] <@weedgoku> sweet dreams