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- Bit & Smidget: Fuck the Pain Away
- >be Bit, the homicidal fluffy unicorn
- >you cannot explain it, but you are feeling very much on edge as of late
- >the spring air is somehow even more hot and cloying
- >your teeth are gritted all the time and you feel this irrepressible need to be held or to hold someone
- >despite yourself, you've been having a bestial urge to piss in your owner's home, and not in the litter box
- >fearful, you turn to you truest friend, your human
- >he explains that every year, fluffy ponies undergo a 'mating season'
- >the odd needs have started to make sense, and he even tells you how to relieve it with Smidget's help
- >then he tells you a terrible fact of your biology
- You'll probably die if you mate, and Smidget too if it takes
- >your fluffy veins pump ice water and the smothering heat of your animal lust subsides in the sea of terror
- >you have to stay away from Smidget for your safety and hers
- >be Smidget
- >you are also feeling the heat
- >at night you hug tightly the ratty old teddy bear that a stupid fluffy pony left when it wanted to play with the elusive "pond pony"
- >Bit also seems... more friendly somehow
- >he still never plays with you, but something is different
- >you might care about that if the aching in your rear would stop
- >the pale blue unicorn totters in, a determined look on his fluffy little face
- >"Hi Bit! Wan' hug?"
- >he casts a frankly withering look at you
- >"We have a pwobwem..."
- >in a cold, focused voice he explains the gravity of the situation
- >eyes wide with fear, you grab Bit's wad of bedding with your teeth and start dragging it out
- >"What you think you awe doing?" he asks, brow furrowed
- >spitting out the spar spangled microfiber blanket, "We bofe awe safe if we sweep in diffewent wooms!"
- >"I know dat, but I sweep in hewe. I can wock da gate."
- >"I was hewe fust!" you retort
- >"Den you twied to bwackmaiw fwiend for sketties! Bad fwuffy pony fow dat!" he snorts, lowering his head
- >"I'm sweeping hewe if I gotta beat you to a puwp!"
- >you charge at Bit, leaping over his blunt little horn
- >"BWING IT ON! I KIWWED BETTAH DAN YOU!"
- >you tumble over him
- >you may be smarter than normal fluffy ponies, but you are still about as coordinated
- >Bit seizes the opportunity, charging at his top speed towards your soft belly
- >of course, the fluff and the pathetically dull point of his horn makes it so he's only pushing pointless into your tummy
- >you're trying your damnedest to bludgeon the unicorn with your hooves
- >just like your first encounter, you limbs are too snuggly-soft to do anything but a gentle face massage
- >still, he has the upper hand, you're on your back and Bit is trying to trample you with his forehooves
- >suddenly, you feel like an itch is being scratched
- >in your rear
- >Bit looks similarly confused
- >the realization hits you both like a shovel to the forehead
- >"Bit... weuh mating awen't we?"
- >like scared little babies you start crying
- >"I'm sowwy Smidget! M-m-my hips awe moving... on der own!"
- >you try batting at Bit's face to force him off, but he's clinging desperately
- >despite the fear and imminent death, the tension and the aching fades as the unicorn humps away
- >this could almost be fun
- >if it weren't for the whole agonizing explosion part
- >what if the babies were retarded like other fluffies?
- >the gallows humor of how much that would enrage Bit is not lost on you
- >"Why awe you gwinning?! I'm gonna DIE!"
- >you explain your joke
- >Bit starts crying, and actually breaks down into crying for his master
- >feel something wet in your fluff
- >you are now Bit
- >fatigue washes over you
- >it's the end
- >you can feel that, and you are afraid of whatever void awaits you
- >your eyes are heavy, and you have never felt this tired
- >killed by some dirty need to procreate
- >you had hoped for something better
- >not that you spent much thought on your own death; it was those you planned for others that really took up your attention
- >no, not like this
- >Smidget is actually looking a little sad
- >then again, it could just be a ploy
- >she covets your memory foam pillow
- >your eyes close
- >so this is death
- >be the owner
- >you heard pitiful crying from the safe room
- >one the floor is limp and sticky Bit next to Smidget
- >"Just kinda happened..."
- >Smidget's big eyes are watery as you check Bit for signs of life
- >niggayouserious.html
- >you lift Bit up by the scruff of and plop him onto his nest
- >"Smidget s-sowwy! Bit said what the hutting was, and I twied to move his bed..."
- Smidget, he's just asleep. Apparently I was wrong, and you aren't the kind that dies when you breed.
- >Smidget immediately brightens and starts capering around as only a supremely pleased fluffy pony
- >that is, very clumsily
- >Bit though, is obviously very tuckered and you carry Smidget to the kitchen to wash her off in the sink
- >you are Bit
- >your stir in your nest, feeling more comfortable than you have in weeks
- >you shake your head and look around
- >Smidget is snoozing in her bundle
- >you, however, are glued to yours by a crust of fluffy semen
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