To my Lost Love

9/28

(I wrote this not to u but as a journal entry but I figured u might want to know)

My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee,
The more I have, for both are infinite.
-Shakespeare

Leo Naylor,
Today he told me he wasn't ready that we were only in ninth grade and that he had focus on other things. I got, it I know, I focus on school but how many excuses will he tell me just because he doesn't want to be with me. Before it was "I just want to be friends because I can imagine hurting you". I told him okay but I will not be able to look at you the same anymore, I will not be able to be around u with breaking down. He thought about it after I told him that he was the only reason that I was still living. And he said that "He made the biggest mistake of his life". And I told him to not get back together with me out of pity or because he felt bad for me. And he said that he wasn't it, that he really did care about me and loved me. So I stupidly listened and gave him another chance. He was never able to call me pretty you know what he told me "I would never date you for looks". The following weekend we went to the movies. He sat next me, and we held each other, he my hand, kissed me. Did he ever feel what I felt? Why was my heart racing?Was it all just because he felt bad? That night I went home he happiest person in the world. Funny thing is I'm never happy he showed me happiness. Days passed he wouldn't talk to me at lunch. He avoided me at all costs. I knew it what going on. I was just waiting for him to pull the trigger. And he did. He asks me if I'm fine, I always tell him that I am fine. Because I can't let him think but he hurt me. Even though he did. I don't want him to go through the pain that I do, Because I remember the first time he broke up with me he was upset because he knew he hurt me he told me "He  couldn't die knowing that he ruined someone else's life". Why would he do it? If he wasn't ready? I told him to not do it out of pity but that's exactly what it was. Know I'm going to have to look at him for four years and know that I'm not good enough. This feeling inside is worse than Joe, Nico and Areana Brother combined.  Why you may ask? Because he showed me happiness. He made me feel like I was special. When he held my hand I was in a dream. It's now a nightmare that I will never wake up from because I will never be able to forget feeling of his hand in mine. I get it he's not ready for a committed relationship. I ask myself all the time. Will I ever feel the way I did with him again? Will the words I made a mistake roll of his sweet lips again? Call me pretty? Or will we just be friends? And if that happens it's just another Nico, because I can't just be his friend. I don't know how many times I told him I cared so much about him. Did Those words ever mean anything?

I wanted him to know that I prayed to God that he would take me to homecoming?

And now I know I don't believe in stupid stuff like that.

Not even the cure to my sickness, because I will not get better.

I will I ever see my dad again, before it's too late?

If He ever wants to see me I will be in the library.

Will he ever take me back because I made the biggest mistake telling him that I loved him? Falling in love with a idea.Maybe if I would have waited the day that I told him, He asked me how to tell if a girl liked him, and I told him because he was curious about another girl not me. So if you are telling me that he is not ready for relationship then why would he want to know about another girl because he would've sure of hell been ready for her.

I'll always love him and I'll always be here. I'm just a pincushion waiting for someone to take the pins out. So if he ever wants me back I'm here.I hope he knows that I would do anything for him. I would sacrifice myself for him. If we were the only two left on the planet and I had to choose to kill him to survive, or die to let him live. I would let him kill me. Because I would rather die than be without him.

Leo Naylor he showed me happiness and I will never forget that. I hope that he always know that I will be here.

And I know that I will never be able to show him this or tell him. And I hope someone can take that job for me. Because he deserves the right to know how I feel. Because I have never felt this way about anyone. I cry every night for him.

I will "Always" wait.

"He was worse than Nicotine"
 -Panic at the Disco

I Hope your happy Leo, I support u and your school journey.

Always remember me. I will never stop waiting for the u.

I told u to be honest....

I will never forget how you changed my life.....


Love You Leo Naylor,
  Tatiana

But we have to make him happy..........


Let's start over Hello my names Tatiana
And you are.........

I'm a girl so much different from anyone else.......

"I UNDERSTAND"

I'm mysterious, a girl who believes in love
and Unicorns

My Definition of Unicorns = well I knew him but I can't recall his name his initials (LN)






Your story starts here, you choose your life, your choices effect you remember that......

       |                            |                                |
    Valor.           Donald Trump.         Harambe.

You can choose whatever journey you u would like.........

 But if u want the basic one choose Valor.

If You want a nuclear war chose Donald Trump.

If you want the girl someday choose Harambe.
 Because Harambe will return!!!!!

Your story will always be a mystery to me, because I will never be able to read you......

What I want u to choose I know, but I know what you will choose.........

If you care to share I'm always here..............

Tatiana the girl with no voice but words that she wants to convey.

Will she go places probably not... But she will never stop dreaming for (LN) and Stanford her dream.

Don't be upset there is always a sliver lining.

"It will get better" - Leo Naylor 2016


WILL HE EVER TAKE ME BACK?


      Yes.                            No.



See you around, I'll always be at the library if u ever need me.


Tatiana's thoughts 😇:
(This is his story, I cant choose or make him) "Shut up Tati this was going so good he was most likely going to circle yes" Even though you love him u can't choose for him. No one has ever told you they cared about u now shush.

Tatiana Re 😈:
(Ugh u ruin everything) and he cares but not in that way.

This is where I leave you to let you make your own decisions.........

Choose Wisely In life Leo, because u only have one - Tatiana 2016

All always dream of the day you will take me back.......

When that my be tomorrow, the day after, or somewhere in my future......

If never, well that's that <-Pray that doesn't happen......

But as I said it's your story( I'm just a girl).

A Girl with a tiny voice...............

Love u mystery boy
               |
See u in my dreams

This was never my story it's always been yours, and I'm here to refine your story.............

Show you a path, to follow.

NEVER GIVE UP!

My story you may ask?
You are my story, and you have completed it. I'll I could have ever asked for u gave to me....

Thank You!

I hope you'll always remember me!

Tatiana Pechnikova the communist