NEO SPARTAN ADVENTUUUUURES 11

Riku is on a beach, seemingly Hawaiian, aged roughly 17 with Sharon, also aged roughly the same. He proceeds to molest her. However, he doesn’t remember his past being like this, and so it must have been due to the garden. As they’re basking in afterglow, she reminds him the world will end in 15 days. It seems Dr. Russel Long’s father, Pontius Long, was directly involved in causing Second Impact. AFTER PLOT RELEVANT DETAILS WHICH WERE PROBABLY IMPORTANT, he’s woken, the SERF base having landed in Toronto. With a ton of paperwork.

THREE MONTHS LATER.

Ryu is imprisoned.

In HIGHSCHOOL.

And then Fabian just walks back in, casually, as if he’d never had an N2 warhead dropped on him. Ryu manages to avoid freaking out long enough to finish his school day, at which point he’s abducted by a suited man. Who he eventually recognises as NTU Specialist Rand. He’s sent back in to get Fabian, and together the three of them regroup at the car.

In the car, Ryu stabs Fabian with a ruler, with strength enough to draw blood, which Rand has no problem with whatsoever. Nor does Fabian. Meanwhile, Riku’s massively important work is interrupted by Sharon, as it seems a new Fifth Child has been discovered. Meanwhile, he is visited by “Maggie McGuire”, from SEELE, who is quite obviously Magdalene, or the Sharon from within the Garden. No-one seems to notice, however. She implies Riku is about to get arrested again by three men in a matter of minutes, and so tells him to come with her to some place safe. He follows her to her car, getting in to find…

Three men. Magdalene quickly drives them away. He is eventually taken to a dockyard warehouse. He meets a UN colonel, working for The Hague, and arrests Riku for crimes against humanity. After Riku refuses to talk back, he gets punched in the face and held at gunpoint. Riku tries to turn the gun on the man, putting it against his head. Only for Magdalene to put a gun against Riku’s head. Riku lowers his gun, only to be brought down by a sharp blow against his spine. He can’t move. Lawrence puts him into unconsciousness with a sharp kick to the head.

Miranada’s phone rings, as he takes a call from Dr. Long. He hasn’t seen Riku, and wants to know where he is. Miranda can’t help. So she gets sent to gather the children, with her gathering Fabian from his room first. Fabian has a load of papers, which he’s eager for Miranda to not see. But she orders him to do so, so he hands over ALL OF THEM. It’s a copied transcript of his discussion with Sasha. He tries to imply it’s imagined, but Miranda doesn’t buy it. She takes all the sheets for safekeeping. The moment her back is turned, as they head towards Ryu’s room, Fabian begins writing another copy. Ryu is paranoid, as usual, of “ghouls”, and is attacking a dummy with nunchuck-staplers. After getting his attention, she gets him to reluctantly join them on their way to Sharon’s office. Within the office, alongside Sharon and Dr.Long, is a teenage girl. Short, brunette hair, with bookish glasses, she is introduced as Sasha Collins.

Both the kids freak the fuck out at the nice, normal girl, just because she’s named Sasha. She has a dad, making her automatically the most well-adjusted pilot. Miranda realises this is probably her love-child from a colleague. They are all getting creeped out by how enthusiastic she seems about the prospect. Fabian decides to make the scene even more creepy by yelling “Lars!” for no apparent reason whatsoever. Apparently Ms. Collins doesn’t fight, but is instead a tactical genius. Ryu tries to outbrag her, and she actually seems impressed. What a weirdo. Fabian manages to avoid spilling spaghetti everywhere, while sounding like a robot boy. And then when she offers to help shits all over her. She seems unphased by how much of an emotionless dick this boy is, and carries on, unperturbed. What a weirdo.

Ryuzaki and Sasha keep pointing and laughing at Fabian. Sasha asks Ryu what there is to do as fun around here. Ryu struggles to answer. What a weirdo. He eventually gives the feeble answer of training and muffins. She nonetheless seems interested in the simulator. What a weirdo. Fabian distracts Sasha from Ryu, who promises to go back on their simulator “date” some other time with Ryu, as Fabian leads her away. She tries to hold his hand, which deeply unnerves the robot boy. Eventually, he makes another transcript of his Sasha Friedmann conversation, labelling himself Subject 1 and Sasha as Subject 2 next to all dialogue.

After some short deliberation, she reaches the outrageous conclusion that Subject 1 obviously likes Subject 2. Stunning absolutely no-one. Fabian then takes the paper back and leaves, ripping the transcript up passive aggressively once he’s out of the room. What a weirdo.

Celio is groggily woken by a knock at the door at 3 in the morning, with his wife next to him. He ignores her advice and tries to go to the door anyway. He has a nice life! And a kid! As he goes to make a sandwich, the knocking on the door continues. Checking the keyhole, he recognises the one-eyed man as “Hawkeye” Piers, a military buddy. He wants to know where Shelly and Elise, Celio’s wife and kid are. Apparently the “Dominion” are on the way, and they have to get out. Celio gets Shelley and Elise, his wife and kid, out the house and into the van of Piers, grabbing his handgun and sword as he goes. In the van with Piers, were David Cross and Li Yang. The van starts driving. Apparently the fleet began mobilizing yesterday.

They’re going to need to head for Shamrock. Slater, there, can apparently get them to Nerv Command, as the ground begins to rumble more and flashes of light appear in the rear view mirror. They’ve started a bombing run. The bombs keep getting closer and closer, as they hurl the car down the road. Celio makes out that it’s artillery strikes, not a bombing raid, and they step on it to try and outrun the shelling. It’s no good. The van is in flames as Celio comes to, with Piers missing his leg and Li impaled on a door. NOTHING HAPPENED HERE. NOTHING AT ALL [Citation needed].

Cross calls for an extraction Bumblebee for them to ride up to the mountain.