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Fluffy Pony!

Mar 23rd, 2012
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  1. >Hear about fluffy ponies.
  2. >Life sucks alone.
  3. >Decide to get one.
  4. >At adoption agency.
  5. >Man walks out with a dark red ball of fluff babbling about "gow fyast, gow fyast"
  6. >"Next!" the man calls.
  7. >Go up to a crate full of different colored fuzz balls mewling, babbling "Pway" and "owchie" and "hungie"
  8. >"Got a safe room?" the guy says, disinterested.
  9. "All set up"
  10. >"Aight, pick one" he says apathetically one, opening the crate.
  11. >Fuzz balls squirm around to see you, spewing "New fwend" and "pick fwuffy" and "pway wif fwuffy"
  12. >daww.png
  13. >See little mint green fuzz ball struggling to get to the top.
  14. >Gets to the top "new fwend pway wit fwuffy?"
  15. >That one
  16. "I'll take the green one"
  17. >Pay for new fluffy pony.
  18. >Life is good.
  19.  
  20. The end!
  21.  
  22. >Get home after long day's work.
  23. >Waitressing sucks.
  24. >Doesn't help that you spend most of the day getting your ass smacked by vulgar truckers.
  25. >It's okay though. Just got a new fluffy pony. It's like an adorable cross between a cat, a toddler, and a puppy with a crazy ball of fluff for a body.
  26. >Rescued it. Lots of people out there enjoy torturing the poor things.
  27. >Check on fluffy pony.
  28. >Unlock safty room door.
  29. >Out toddles a little ball of pastel green fuzz.
  30. >"Mommy howm! Win miss Mommy! Mommy howm! Huggies? Pway! Mommy howm!" it spews out it's adorable baby talk
  31. >Open enclosure and pick her up
  32. >"HUGGIES! HUGGIES! Why wuv woo Mommy" She's practically vibrating.
  33. "I love you too, Lin," you tell her.
  34. >Life is good.
  35.  
  36. The end!
  37.  
  38. >Put fluffy pony down. It starts nudging your leg.
  39. >"Pway?" It looks up at you
  40. >DemEyes.jpeg
  41. "Mommy needs to get food ready first," you tell it.
  42. >Lin perks up. "Ma'wewwows?"
  43. >Look confused.
  44. >"Win wike ma'wewwows. Ma'wewwows nummies!" Lin cheers on.
  45. >Oh. Duh. Marshmellows.
  46. >You laugh at the cuteness.
  47. "Not tonight. To much sugar is bad for you. Tonight we have spaghetti."
  48. >"Pasketi!"
  49. >Life is good.
  50.  
  51. The end!
  52.  
  53. >After dinner.
  54. >Lin is running around pushing a red ball around while you relax on the couch reading Time and listening to Jazz.
  55. >Decide to mix a drink.
  56. >Get up.
  57. >Lin paws at your leg "Pway! Pway wit Win! Pwease? Mommy pway?"
  58. >demeyes.jpeg
  59. >Pick her up and tickle her belly
  60. >"Tickwies!" Lin laughs. Hooves wiggling in every direction.
  61. >You daww hard
  62. >"I wuv yoo, Mommy."
  63. >Heart melts.
  64. >Carry Lin into kitchen. Place her on the counter.
  65. "Now be a good girl and sit there while Mommy gets a drink"
  66. >"Dwink? Win have baba?"
  67. >Fix yourself a gin and tonic, and pop a baby bottle filled with milk and honey in the microwave for thirty seconds.
  68. >DING!
  69. >Lin lights the fuck up. "BABA! BABA!"
  70. >Dear god, the wiggling.
  71. >Grab gin and tonic, Lin, and her bottle and head to her saferoom.
  72. >Sit down on a baby chair and bottle feed Lin, sipping your own drink.
  73. "Alright, baby. Bedtime."
  74. >Lin yawns.
  75. >toocute.avi
  76. >"Mews?" she asks sleepily
  77. "Okay," you smile and tuck her in. "I'll be right back"
  78. >Lin looks a little disheartened.
  79. >Kiss her face and reassure her.
  80. >Come back with cello and proper chair.
  81. >Have scary talent for all classical insturments.
  82. >Why are you a waitress again?
  83. >Oh yeah, money.
  84. >Improv a lullaby.
  85. >Lin snoring lightly
  86. >Retuck her in, kiss her on face again.
  87. >About to lock up. "Mommy?"
  88. "Yes, sweetie?"
  89. >"Win wuv yoo."
  90. >Life is good.
  91.  
  92. The End!
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