Three weeks Ch.1-3 ( by:JAMESDOAKES)

http://pastebin.com/naXFYCsZ

>You sighed.
>A good deal of the day was spent moping around in your dormitory, trying to settle back in to the old routine.
>Still, it was rather hard getting used to the sudden loneliness.
>It was as unfortunate as it was true: you had rather few friends here.
>You'd always been aloof, especially now that you were away from your family.
>Surely, you'd encountered people, met acquaintances, did everything that was expected of you in your time here...
>...but many people had noticed your week-spanning absences, and the silly excuses you made up for them.
>Still, you regretted nothing.
>Professors were astounded that you could be so neglectful of their coursework and still ace their tests; you'd been called out a few times for cheating, even, but no one could pin anything to you.
>You smirked.
>Of course, no one could know the real reason you were so academically capable, for, just as the rift that opened every 21 days like clockwork, and the studious, intelligent purple mare that yearned for your presence on its other side, this all had to be kept a secret.

>Your amusement slowly fading into solemnity, you glanced over at the clock.
>It was later than you had thought.
>Time must really fly when you're savoring a gloomy mood...
>With all the vitality of an octogenarian, you planted your palms on the armrests of your comfy chair and eased your somewhat sore body up.
>Shambling to the window, you discovered that it was an expectably rainy, cool day; not a soul lingered anywhere in sight, every sane person instead holed up in their residence, probably enjoying a good cup of warm tea, watching sitcoms, or, heaven forbid, studying.
>The thoughts of their warm, cozy, jovial happenings only served to remind you how cold and lonely your dismal room was.
>You paused.
"Huh...it's really dark," you spoke to no one but yourself.
>Shuffling your unsturdy legs toward the entrance, you found the light switch and flipped it, the room suddenly basked in an unnaturally white light from the single exposed flourescent bulb in the ceiling.

>...This room had seen better days.
>Clothes were scattered haphazardly wherever there weren't dirty dishes, some molding, and both of which occupying the vast majority of the floorspace. Had it not been for the narrow causeways carved through the chaos, an occupant might have a hard time figuring out what color the floor was.
>Off in a not-so-distant corner was your bed, a dilapidated twin mattress on a spartan metal frame that hadn't ever known a sheet. It was an arm's length away from the chair you recently egressed, a small rocking recliner your dad had lent you that served a dual purpose as your preferred napping spot and your usual computer chair.
>...well, at least, when you were here.
>The room smelled of decay. The 21 days you were absent had taken its toll, and you were fairly sure every bit of food that could be found on the premises was rotten--perhaps, save the ramen and canned food you had stashed "for emergencies," but found yourself eating more regularly than you would have liked.
>A pang of reminiscence hit you as you remembered the decadent cuisine and unencumbered hospitality of your home-away-from-home.
>But you brushed it off.
"Only three weeks..." You, again, remarked to no audience.
>With most of the day gone, and nothing but a sour mood, you decided to do the only thing you wanted to do: sleep.
>Ignoring the brilliant artificial light, you carelessly flung yourself into the worn bed, the hard springs biting into your flesh felt even through your clothing.
>Reaching over to one of the many mounds of discarded clothing, you tugged off a sweatshirt.
>...It snagged.
>A happenstance made unusual by the fact that it was the topmost article of clothing on the pile...

>You pulled a bit harder, and the shirt freed itself,
>but, simultaneously, something scurried beneath your bed.
>...You blinked, your stupor intensifying as you racked your brain for a rational solution, one of which you quickly settled upon.
"Great, now there's fuckin' mice, too..."
>You rolled back up on your feet, carefully reaching over to a bedside flashlight, and kneeled down, reorienting yourself toward the bed.
>Just about as soon as you bent your knees, the whatever-it-was raced back toward the clothes pile, upsetting a few pieces as it nestled far into the fabric den.
>This time, you heard it pretty clearly.
>No mouse was that big, nor moved that clumsily.
>A second thought occurred to you.
"The hell, do I have raccoons now?" You muttered under your breath.
>You mustered all of your strength as you plunged your arm firmly into the pile and totally overturned it, prepared to bash an aggressive pest with the flashlight.
>There was a slight yelp.
>You stood aghast as the flashlight fell from your hands.
>Nested amongst your dirty clothes in the cutest fetal pose possibly conceivable was one stunned purple alicorn, Twilight Sparkle, rendered with an incredible realism only ever achievable in this universe, which only served to amplify her adorable features.
>As you stood and stared stupidly at her, her shocked expression was glacially replaced by a meek smile.
>"Uhm...hi!"

"What in all hell were you thinking?!"
>You were absolutely livid with the purple pony, who was visibly cowering before you.
"I had one rule--ONE RULE--about coming here! Do you remember what that was?!" You asked rhetorically.
>She only whimpered.
"NOBODY goes to this world except ME!"
>Twilight, who had since occupied your bed while you paced feverishly alongside, finally buried her head in her hooves and began to bawl.
>"I'm s-sorry!" She choked out. "I was just curious!"
>At the pitiful sight, your rage subsided, replaced with a fair amount of sympathy and grief.
>You sat down next to the shivering princess and consoled here.
"...No, I'm sorry for yelling at you like that. But I have my reasons, Twi."
>She moved a hoof, revealing one puffy, glossy looking eye which was set upon you.
"It's not safe here, not even for me, and especially not for you."
>Twilight sniffled a bit, raising her head.
>"But I've...I've saved Equestria! Multiple times!" She wheezed.
"Twilight." You spoke firmly, grabbing her attention. "This is NOT Equestria."
>"How bad could it be?" Twilight let out a wavering smile, which only served to make her mucus- and tear-stained visage ever more pathetic.
"You don't know the half of it." You said gravely.
>Her smile quickly disintegrated.
>"I'm sorry..." she slipped out again.
>You gently put an arm around the sobbing furball and drew her close.
"Don't worry about it." You chuckled a little bit, easing the mood. "It's really hard to stay mad at you, ya know."
---
"Yep, there it is again."
>You poured over the plot, showing it to the cool authority figures now present in your office.
"Right there, every three weeks, from noon to one in the morning by the second," you pointed out the colorful horizontal splotch on the spectrogam, "is an enormous burst of broadband RF interference."
>Both of the agents took an unsurprised look at the graph before one of them returned his gaze to you.
>"Do you know where it's coming from?"
>You scoffed.
"Of course we know where it's coming from! This is the biggest radiotelescope in the states, we can detect a micrometer phase shift in a star a million light-years away. Finding a noise source is not a problem..."
>You reached over to your cluttered desk and picked up a manilla folder, gently handing it to one of the figures.
>Without hesitation, they opened it, revealing, on the very top, a satellite photo overlaid with a red ellipse, which just about spanned the entire campus of the nearby university, cutting a neat path through the largest row of student housing.
"...though I will say our equipment wasn't designed for this, so that's the best I can give ya." You added, muttering, "damn kids."
>A cursory flip through the other leaves in the folder showing nothing but raw radio data, the agents closed its covers and gave a barely-noticeable look of satisfaction in your direction.
>"Thank you for the information. Our investigation will be underway shortly, no doubt."
>They turned about for the door.
"Keep is informed, will ya?"
>Neither responded as they slipped through the door.
>You sighed, finding your seat at your desk.
"Jeez. Government officials."

===

>You had to admit, it was kind of an awesome feeling waking up with a soft, furry, three-dimensional purple pony snoring lightly on your chest.
>Trying to disturb her as little as you could, you raised your hand and gently passed it through her silky mane.
>She cracked open an eye.
"Good morning," you said softly.
>"Mhmmhmm," said the mare, whose muzzle was still buried in your torso, but still managed a weak smile.
>You looked the mare over, admiring the complete, immaculate beauty that was resting upon you, sipping in every little bit like a fine wine.
>You don't know what it was about that smile, but it was just so...fulfilling. It gave you every reason to live, just so you could see it more often.
>...or maybe that was the hypnopompia talking.
>Well, in any case, it was probably time for breakfast.
>You glanced toward your alarm clock.
>11:35.
>...brunch, then.
>This was one of the reasons you had always scheduled evening classes; you never were good at getting up early. Only on an infrequently special occasion would you actually wake before noon.
>You figured that this occasion was special enough to warrant it, even if you avoided noon only by a few minutes.
"Twi?"
>"Mmm?"
"I gotta get up."
>"Mmmmm..." She intoned the grunt as if it would have been a whining sigh, but still refused to remove her snout from you.
>It might have been a little irritating if it weren't so damn cute.
"Fine, guess I won't be making bre--brunch, then."
>Her ears perked a little, her eyes creeping open again.
>For once, she raised her head.
>"...I am pretty hungry..." She stated, her voice somewhat gravelly.
"Allow me to fix that."

>You thrust a bowl of warm ramen toward the sleepy princess.
"Sorry. It's all I got."
>She had waken up, sitting on your stiff bed, doing her best to straighten out her bed-head mane (that you might have caused) with her hooves.
>It wasn't really working.
>She huffed. "Do you happen to have a brush?"
"Actually..."
>You set down the bowl, carefully noting its location as to not mistake it for the several other old ramen bowls, you ran into the tiny bathroom--the only other room in the dormitory--and grabbed a small hairbrush.
"Here ya go."
>You threw the brush, which landed with a soft bounce on the bed next to her.
>"Thanks."
>She stared stupidly at the brush.
>Then, slowly, her glance at the brush became one of anger.
>Then frustration, followed soon by exasperation.
>Finally, she turned toward you with a worried look.
"What's the matter?"
>"I can't...I can't use magic." She said quietly.
>Oh shit.
>That was certainly going to make keeping her safe much more fun.
>As powerful as the Element of Magic was in Equestria--and, it was no less humble than a statement of fact to say she might be the single most powerful mage there--without her magic, she was not much more physically apt than a large dog with a goofy horn and cute wings.
>You could see she was aware of this; there was a tiny streak of fear in her expression.
>But...
>You figured, since no one else here had magic, that it wouldn't be that much of a problem.
>And she could probably outrun any human, at least.
>You plopped yourself on the bed next to her, her eyes still fixed on the same point you were a few seconds ago when she made the startling realization.
"Don't worry about it, Twilight. If you're worried about your safety, I've got you covered."
>She broke her stare and looked at you, and you gave a wry smile.
"Now, didn't you say you were hungry?" You asked, reaching for the now-lukewarm ramen bowl.

"How was it?"
>"It's...food?" She stated, apparently uncertain.
>You couldn't blame her; somehow, she managed to surround herself with some of the finest chefs in Equestria, and they took a simple pleasure in giving her their masterpieces.
>You guess that was a perk of being royalty, or at least of having connections.
>At least she was quite a bit more lucid after eating something.
"I didn't say it wasn't," you mused.
>She shovelled down another mouthful of the slimey noodles. "So...now what?" She asked with a full mouth, some broth flying from her lips.
"What do you mean?"
>She gulped. "What're we going to do?"
"I figured you would have already known that, seeing as how you were the one that decided to come here for three weeks," you said cooly.
>"Well, I could find something to do," she said defensively, "but I thought it would be more fun if we did something together."
"Did you have something in mind?"
>Her eyelids drooped.
>"If I did, I wouldn't have asked," she said flatly.
>You sighed.
"Well, here's the problem..."
>You made your way over to the recliner on the other side of the room, facing her, and continuing carefully.
"...there's a good chance that some...a lot of the people here will take...interest in you. And not in a good way."
>She seemed quite befuddled. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, you're a cute, colorful, and...let's face it, naïve little talking pony, and I know there are at least several people who'd want to take advantage of that."
>"Take advantage?"
>You took off your glasses and rubbed your face with your hands; treading lightly on the delicate topic was going to be difficult.
"Twi, what's the worst thing you could possibly imagine anyone you've never met doing to you?"
>"Uhm..."

>By the time you were done, she was trembling, her beady pupils accompanied by her agape maw.
>You really didn't want to have to explain murder, kidnapping, slavery, trafficking, and, of course, rape, to the mentally virgin pretty pony, but she wasn't going to get it any other way.
"...and that's what I meant by naïve."
>She didn't budge.
"...deep breaths, Twi."
>Through a few shaky breaths, she faintly spoke: "There's...there's no way..."
"...it's true? It is." You said intently.
>She wrapped her hooves around her head, staring down at the ground. "Hhhh...How do you people even LIVE?! You must be dying by the thousands!"
"I think it's closer to the millions."
>She turned up and glared at you, the color drained from her face.
"Well, there's a lot of us."
>You shifted a little bit, uncomfortable with the full-on mental assault you just mounted against the terrified alicorn.
"Just remember what I said this morning, OK? I'm here, I'll protect you. But, while you're here, it would be a very good idea if you did everything I said. Do you understand?"
>She only nodded.
>You stood up to grab the emptied bowl and comfort her, but you jumped as a vigorous knock sounded from the door.
>Your eyes widened.
"Twilight. Hide." You muttered.
>She glanced up at you, still in shock, but managed to eventually scramble under the pile of clothes she had disguised herself in last night.
>Assuring yourself she was out of sight, you walked up to the door and checked the peephole.
>Standing in the hallway were two men in formal wear who could have walked out of a Men in Black feature.

===

>You cautiously turned the knob, and the door creaked open, revealing the well-dressed pair.
>Immediately, one of them flicked out and opened a bifold wallet, which bore across a large part an identification stamped with a large, intimidating seal.
>"Jeff Wallin, Federal Agent on behalf of the FCC."
>Your heart sank a mile.
>The astute gentlemen expertly closed his wallet and replaced it on his person.
>"We have reports of a large radio disturbance in the area. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that, would you?"
>It took you a second to recover from being stricken dumb, and another still to muster up the courage to speak.
"Uhhhh...no?"
>"Mind if we take a look?"
>Your heart threatened to beat straight out of your chest.
"NO!" You blurted.
>The agents barely reacted.
"I mean, uh--there's...I have some company, and they value their privacy..."
>"Might I ask who that is?"
>If you weren't blushing before, you certainly were now.
"A--a girlfriend, of course."
>Naturally.
>The other agent's eyes darted about the room. You awkwardly moved to obscure his vision slightly more, but not before he gathered enough of your room to ask the question:
>"Where is she?"

"In the bathroom, getting...ready"
>This was getting painful, and, sure enough, the suspicious looks in both men's faces were intensifying.
>Jeff interjected: "Can we speak to her, then?"
"Absolutely not!"
>You were probably a cherry by now.
"...it's...the other kind of 'ready.'"
>The cool look of the couple was tainted by the smallest amount of surprise.
>Jeff looked you over once again, then arched an eyebrow.
>"And you're still clothed?"
"DON'T JUDGE ME!" You yelled, slamming the door in their faces.
>Breathing heavily, you turned around and collapsed on the door before regaining you composure.
>Standing up slowly and quietly, you checked the peephole, and found both of the intruders had left.
>Taking careful, calculated steps, you made it back to the bed and fell upon it.
>...What the fuck?
>Of all the times for some arse to start a friggin' pirate radio station in your suite, why did it have to be NOW?
>You thought about Twilight.
>If they found her, it would be all over, for you and for her.
>You remembered that there was still twenty days until the rift opened again.
>Twenty days of keeping her from harm, and you were already off to a brilliant start.
>You shuddered.
"...Twilight?"
>"...Yes?" A little voice peeped out from underneath one of the clothing mountains.
"We have a big, big problem."
---

>The honorable read the document, occasionally glancing back up at you.
>"So, you have 'probable cause to believe that the aforementioned is perpetrating a federal offense'?"
"Yes, your honor."
>"Very well, then."
>He skimmed back over the several papers you had submitted, eventually neatly stacking them up.
>"By the authority of this court, I hereby declare that there is reasonable cause to issue this search warrant."
>The judge signed the single sheet of paper to his left, then pushed all of the documents toward you.
>"I will need this back within fourteen days, whereupon we shall decide on criminal proceedings, if they apply."
>You picked up the slip, folded it, and--with everything else--slipped it into the briefcase you had brought along, sealing it afterward.
>"Oh, and, good luck."
"Thank you, your honor."

===